Hi, I'm new to this site and I'm not sure if I'm putting this in the right place but I'm having a lot of trouble finding my type, I'm stuck between ESFP, ENFP, ISFP, and INFP and I'm hoping someone could help me solidify something.
I’m going to paste everything I’ve written about myself and I would really appreciate to hear your thoughts. I’m sorry if this turned out extremely long.
**My main reasons for INFP** are the Fi-Si loop: I‘m sentimental and nostalgic about certain events in my past and love sharing them because I’m not ready to let them go, and I’d like to think those around me care as much as I do. I have a lot of photos and remember the specific dates of the events that were emotionally relevant for me, again because I don’t want to forget, I believe that they aren’t truly gone unless you forget about them. I don’t care about my appearance as much, I obviously take care of hygiene but I rarely deviate from my normal clothing style because it’s comfortable, that and because I freaking hate clothes shopping in general haha. I don’t display a lot of your average Se traits, I’m pretty clumsy and uncharismatic, and you could see my cringe-worthy and awkward movements from a mile away if you saw me in real life. I’m not sure if this would be attributed to inferior Te or not, but I’m pretty un-assertive and I don’t like taking the lead for random things just for the sake of taking the lead. It’s not that I dislike the attention, I just hate asserting myself and trying to act as an authority figure. I wouldn’t like being above people, I’d rather be equal and liked than higher and powerful, and plus the added responsibility and pressure is not worth it for me. If it’s something that I’m truly passionate about though, I’m absolutely the first to speak up and let everyone know, whether I not I’d really “take the lead” that depends, but I definitely show a lot of excitement and enthusiasm if something I’m passionate about hits.
**My main reasons for ESFP:** I feel like I’m too trusting and enthusiastic about the company of people to be an INFP. I’ve gotten feedback about being very naļve and open to strangers even as a child. Canceled social plans just cut so deep for me, I can’t even explain the overwhelming disappointment when I’m looking forward to hanging out and then it just gets rescheduled or cancled. I love being with people, especially when they allow me to be who I am and let me show my real self. I love telling stories, making friends, laughing my ass off, and being well known in the community/social life. I feel absolutely furfilled and hyped after a fun social night and I can’t relate to needing to immediately go home and be alone to recharge. Whole I don’t mind my alone time, I usually just use it to watch shows or make memes or something, I rarely ever go deep into my thoughts and get extremely depressed if I do. Life is awesome and I think being existential and over-complicated makes things really depressing and weighed down for no reason. I’ve never really seen myself as intuitive, in fact I’ve even gotten feedback for not thinking about future implications, “you need to look at the big picture,” think about the long-term etc. I sometimes blurt things out without realizing the consequences and doing absolutely retarded things in the moment and then physically cringing at myself as I look back and reflect on it. It looks like a great idea and it looks like the best option at the time, so I’d go ahead and then it just blows up in my face.
A description of myself:
22yo F from the US - I’m not ‘better’ or ‘superior’ to anyone, I would much rather be liked than to have power or authority. I value my friends and always open to meet new people no matter what race, sexuality etc. I’m not a real complicated person, I don’t ask for a lot in life. My fashion is not braggable, I stick to comfort and don’t stand out when it comes to style. I’m not trying to impress anybody, if I know what I like then I know what I like, I know if I stick to that then it’ll show, therefore I’m more likely to attract and become friends with people who have more in common with me and/or just accept me. I like being labeled as the easygoing friend who’s up for anything, I don’t care where we eat or what movie we watch, I may recommend a place, but there’s no guarantee it will stick. But, even though I prefer being flexible, there are some things I’d like to hold my ground for. I won’t stand for other people controlling my lifestyle, passively-aggressively ordering me around, calling me out or attacking me for something. Bottom line is, if it doesn’t affect me, it doesn’t affect me. No reason to change someone’s way of life because I don’t like it. It’s their life. And I expect the same back. Why micromanage me? Why judge me? What I do has no impact on your well-being, so it is none of your business to change it. Worry about yourself, and I’ll worry about me. It’s not my place to make everybody bow down to my way of life. Criticize me all you want, but nothing is changing on my end. I try to smile at people and I love the idea of making new friends anywhere I go, but I can’t always be the one to strike up a conversation. Sometimes I can just shut my anxiety up and pop a question, but other times it gets the best of me. I love being invited to do things and I can’t imagine saying no unless something else overlaps it. I hate canceled plans, it’s the worst form of disappointment for me. My self-esteem and confidence fluctuates a lot. One compliment can go a long way, same with one piece of harsh criticism. Sometimes just the right song could play and make me feel a million times better. I’m at my best when I’m around my friends or even with acquaintances who accept me and welcome me no matter what. I’m at my worst when my entire life seems to be crashing down on my face and I feel like I’m alone with no one on my side. If you’re an important person in my life, your words carry a lot of significance. It’s one thing to be put down by a complete stranger. Being insulted or betrayed by a person I hold in high regards is devastating. Drama and social manipulation games are unnecessary. If you’re friends with me you’ll get none of that. If you have a problem, tell me about it straight up, that will save a lot of time and tears. There’s certain things where it’s better to cut the crap. I absolutely, absolutely love it when all my friends are available to go out together. I will drop everything and go. I don’t care if I’m a million dollars in debt, for an occasion like that, I’ll be more than willing to drop my problems no matter how big. I don’t care. Unless I’m handcuffed to a nuclear fucking bomb, I am not missing it. I suck at saving money. If there’s something that catches my attention and I can afford it, I’m buying it. A song, paying for someone’s meal at a resteraunt, upgrading my data plan, if I have enough to do it then I’ll spend it. I seriously need to work on that lmfao. I don’t mind using self deprecating jokes, in fact I love it when I get a chance to do that because sometimes people laugh, and it also reminds me to not be so full of myself at times. I think it’s a win-win, we’re enjoying ourselves and I’m being put back in my place at the same time. I don’t mind laughing about my flaws.
A questionnaire I answered:
* #Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence?
How did you respond to it? My family was always pushing me all my life to be structured and organized. They exerted their way of life on me so much that it unironically had the exact opposite effect. Now, my area is a hot ass mess and I’m happy with it. I know where everything is and my lifestyle is chill and whatever.
* #If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?
Like, I’m fine with sitting around slacking and playing video games and all that, but I’d rather go hang out with my friends or something. I wouldn’t feel that drained, but I never really feel refreshed after a prolonged time without anyone to talk to. I gotta admit though, the idea of living in a house with a lot of people like roomates or something sounds amazing to me and I would never have to worry about that ever again!
* #What is your relation with movement and your surroundings? For instance do you prefer a sport or outdoors event?
If an outdoors event what is it? And why? If not what type of activities do you tend to engage in? Lol, I got 0 interest in outdoor crap. I’m trash at sports. I do not like the idea of generating sweat stains and making a fool out myself with various types of balls. It’s not appealing to me. I’m more into video games, watching movies, chatting, walking around the city with friends, etc, none of this coordinated crap because I can’t catch/hit a ball to save my ass.
* #How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?
Every once in awhile I’ll have an idea, but I don’t actually do anything with it unless it’s really appealing. Or if someone else has an idea. “Let’s do an all-nighter!” Holy crap that’s great let’s start inviting everybody. I hate being hyped for some great idea like that and then nobody has any plans into actually making it happen.
* #Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?
I would suck literal butt at taking charge. I go along with the ride and whatever y’all decide is what happens. I don’t usually care. But if I have a really passionate opinion on something I might try to wedge myself into leadership for .1 seconds but it’ll be quite awkward because I’m not used to being in an authority position. If I had to lead, I’ll probably just end up letting other people throw out suggestions and try to implement the best one.
* #Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?
No. I’m a klutz. If my hands are full and I drop something, it’s all over. Pick it up and drop something else. Repeat 9 million times. I also apparently like to stub my toe and slam my hip on the corner of the table at least 69 times a day as well. But sometimes I kind of like being clumsy because it makes me more comedic in a way. But other than that.. yeah I’m not coordinated at all.
* #Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
Suck at drawing, but I might suck less if I bother to practice lmao. I like drawing stick figures and retarded chicken-scratch parodies of real art haha.
* #What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?
**Past**: Parts of it are pretty relevent to me. I have a large collection of videos and images that I like to look back on every once in awhile. It can get pretty emotional.
**Present**: I think the present is important. I don’t know if it’s just because I’m just naļve but I don’t find myself making decisions based off what’ll be better in the long-term, I end up going with what looks good now.
**Future**: I don’t really pay attention to it all that much but I do have a vague idea of what I’d like for it if we’re talking about the long term.
* #How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?
Not if I’m in the middle of something. Like why right now? But if not I’ll be willing to help. I’ll end up just doing the bare minimum to get done with it though lol.
* #Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?
I’d honestly rather not... nobody really sees me as a controlling person. Like I said in the leadership question, I prefer to just let other people do that kind of thing
. * #How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?
I usually put it off until I can’t anymore. Then pray I have a rubric that I can just follow to get it over with. I’d rather have guidelines set for me so I know I’m doing it right.
* #What's important to you and why?
Family, friends, my computer/phone, religion, social life, doing what I love
* #What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?
I hate being trapped in hopeless situations that I can’t get out of, being around pessimistic ass people, overthinking simple shit and making things needlessly complicated. It makes life 10,000x harder for no reason.
#How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?
I don’t really daydream but I can get pretty damn oblivious while I’m on my phone typing something like this or reading something.
* #How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?
Well, if I see a desision that obviously looks like it’s the best option for the circumstances right now then I’m going to stick with it unless the circumstances change.
* #How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life? They’re very important. Especially if I’m expressing something that’s very relevent to me, or if someone is insulting something that’s very relevent to me. I get pissed when people completely disregard my feelings and efforts. And I’m not sure how long it takes to process them, it kind of depends.
* #Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?
Well I don’t do it just to make them happy. If I’m in a group who are actively disrespecting my beliefs and making fun of me for them I am sure as hell not going to sit there and agree with it. But if it’s a group of friends and someone has a different opinion, I’m not going to create conflict over it. Most of the time it’s not worth losing a friend over. I’ll usually just stick to my opinion and let them stick to theirs. But I won’t change my way of life and my thinking because of it.
* #Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why would you?
I don’t go out of my way to break rules, that’s just retarded and if I have no reason to, it’s just going to get me into unnecessary trouble. But if I really want to do something in the moment, whether I know it goes against the rules or not, I’ll probably end up doing it anyway lol.
* #What is the ideal life, in your opinion?
My ideal life is being free to approach people and make friends without getting in trouble, having a few awesome roommates, being able to live my way, and being invited to do stuff all the time.
* What makes you respect individuals, groups, or organizations? List whatever you can think of.
I’ll definitely respect them if they respect me too. If they welcome me and consider me one of them and accept me, they will gain my absolute full respect and I’ll vouch for them and be loyal with them until they prove me otherwise, which if they’re really meant to be, they‘ll never give me a reason to leave them.
* #What kind of things turn you off about a person, a brand/company, or a particular environment? What gets under your skin (in a bad way)?
I hate companies that exist solely for scamming people. If one of them tries to screw me over I’ll straight up say, no this is a scam. They suck and won’t get jack shit from me lol. As for environment, I hate it when the atomosphrere is tense and depressing. Where everyone’s just numb and stoic. Being in that for too long does shit to you, unconsciously makes you more negative and decreases your quality of life. It’s damn refreshing when you can get out of it and get back to real life.
* #How good is your memory for detail? Specific conversations you've had in the past, little tasks that need to get done, what you were doing the first time you heard a song or tried a food, etc.
I’ll remember it vividly if it was an important memory, if not then I’d probably forget about mostly everything.
* #Think about a topic or two you're really interested in and like having conversations about. Do you think you would generally have more fun talking about that topic with an enthusiastic, curious listener who asks you lots of great questions, or do you think you would generally have more fun listening to an interesting, entertaining person talk at length about it and answer your questions enthusiastically?
I would definitely rather be blabbing my mouth off about it than listening. But It can go either way. Especially if that person has more knowledge on it, I wouldn’t mind listening and asking questions. Otherwise I can talk for days haha.
* #In the last question, what topic(s) were you think about?
Mbti, or funny stories we’ve had etc.
* #If someone is doing something that you strongly disagree with, how likely are you to confront them about it? If you do confront them, how do you usually tend to do it? How does your answer change depending on your relationship with the person, and whether their actions directly affect you?
No, if it doesn’t affect me I don’t need to create a giant conflict over it. I’m pretty non-confrontational overall and I’ll only approach someone doing something if it’s seriously hurting me or my loved ones. If I have a closer relationship with that person I’ll more likely ask for them to stop, but if it’s a stranger I’ll directly tell them how I feel about their actions.
* #How interested are you in trying new things - traveling, trying strange and exotic foods, going on roller coasters, jumping out of airplanes, things like that? Regardless of how interested you are, how willing would you be to do those things if someone asked you to? How often do you actually do things like that? Give examples.
Uhh, I don’t go out of my way to do that kind of shit myself. But I sure don’t mind doing it if my friends plan it and bring me along. If it’s just me I order the same shit from the same resteraunts and stick to what I know what I like. I’m good. But if people invite me out I’m up for anything and sure don’t mind trying new stuff. Example: I always order the same tacos from taco bell if I get the chance to go there. I don’t care if people try to dictate what I eat, “yOu NeED tO tRy SoMeThInG nEw,” no, I know what I like, piss off. But if a group of friends are going to a resteraunt I’ve never heard of before, I’m game, I’ll be happy to try it. Bottom line: Variety isn’t my priority, but I’m open to it.
* #How would other people describe your demeanor? It may help to ask people you know. How emotional do you seem to people? How rational? Do you tend to be quiet and reserved, or more loud and talkative? Do you seem to choose your words carefully, or talk stream of consciousness, or do you sometimes think so fast you stumble trying to get all the words out? Do you tend to finish your sentences, or skip to the next sentence in the middle of the one you're saying, or skip to new topics entirely? Do you interrupt - if so, when and how often? How do you feel if someone interrupts you? How often do you feel like you have so much energy you can't sit still and need to be up and moving? How hard is it for you to get out of bed in the morning, or get up after relaxing for a long time?
Well if I were to describe my demeanor in one word based on how other people think I am: Inappropriate. Not in an obscene or sexual way. Just barging in on conversations at the worst possible time, talking out of place, can’t seem to take cues from people and interrupts a lot. Taking that critism hurts like hell but it’s true. As for energy, I’m pretty neutral. I can get up as easily as other people and I don’t have any trouble sitting still. Idk lol.
* #What makes you angry?
When I’m telling a story and have a group’s attention and someone just interrupts and I don’t even get to finish. Crappy internet connection especially if I’m doing something important. People fucking looking at my screen when I’m typing something. Not being able to tell my side of the story. Being pulled away from a crowd or prevented from going out with my friends for some dumb ass reason. People going out of their way to do something only because they know it makes me mad. Scammers getting paid and getting away with their bullshit. Condescending people who literally look down on you and call you “sweetie” or some shit.
* #What do you like/dislike most about people?
I like how (most) people will always be willing to talk to you, or at least respond. If you ask them a question or introduce yourself, 99.9% they’ll respond. Keeping this in mind helped my anxiety a lot. One thing I dislike though is the unnecessary drama they make. You have to overthink everything with some people and it gets ridiculous. Why can’t we all just chill and hang out without all the bull lol.
* #What do you like most about the favorite people in your life?
They let me act retarded and foolish without judgment, and I got no shame doing dumb stuff in public as long as they’re by my side haha. I can always count on them and we can joke around all we want without fear of offending each other. It’s a mutual and genuine relationship and we enjoy being with each other.
* #Do you care about being fashionable? why/why not?
No I just stick to regular clothing. More comfortable and gets the job done.
* #Do you prefer to fit in or stand out?
It really depends, I do want to be noticed and acknowledged in a community but I don’t go out of my way to make myself “unique” in society. I’m just another person haha.
* #What makes you feel secure?
Knowing I’m all caught up and I have my crap together, I have things to look forward to in the near future and I don’t really have any real problems to worry about.
* #Do you like being in a relationship? why/why not?
Not really. For me, relationship = a friendship that’s 100000x more complicated. You’re not allowed to see other people, you’re committed and if you decide to leave it’s just going to be nothing but pain. No thanks haha!
* #What do you love and why? Could be people, things, places, etc...
Big cities/downtown areas with tons of people, simple genuine resteraunts, sharing funny stories, my hometown, my group of friends, fun weekends, telling a joke that actually lands, taking pictures of beautiful scenery etc
* #What do you spend the most time thinking about?
Whatever I’m obsessed with at the time. Right now it’s mbti and I’m thinking about the types of my friends etc. Also drama and situations I’m in at the time.
* #How much have you changed over the years? Who were you as a child?
I was the obnoxious cringe child who’d always ruin group pictures and talk without a filter. I don’t remember much but my parents told me I never met a stranger. I was naļve and constantly got lectures for talking to random people. Now, I’m still kind of like that but with more anxiety and more of a filter and learned more important lessons.
* #How do you respond to clingy people?
It kind of makes me uncomfortable if they’re really overbearing, but I do understand where they’re coming from because I’m a clingy ass person too haha.
* #What's your ultimate goal in life?
I don’t think I really have a grand “ultimate destination” for life, I just think of life as accomplishing a series of short-term goals that are extremely important at the time. But I will say that I would like to get to the point where I have minimal problems, and I have good circumstances and I’m always at a ‘high point.’ I also just want to get the point where I don’t have to rely on anybody or ride ass for anything important, like having to worry about staying on some superior’s “good side” all the time.
* #Do you think there's a point to life? If so, what is it?
I think the point to life is just to live it how you want. I don’t feel like there’s a “grandiose purpose” that all humanity has to achieve or something. If you’re forced to do something you don’t like your whole life, it’s pointless. If you’re enjoying it and made the most out of it, that’s good enough at least for me.
* #You are with a group of people in a car, heading to a different town to see your favourite band/artist/musician. Suddenly, the car breaks down for an unknown reason in the middle of nowhere. What are your initial thoughts? What are your outward reactions?
I would seriously be pissed over and extremely sad at the same time. Chances are I’ve been looking forward to this for months and then this happened. I’d probably sit back for a few minutes and let the people who know what they’re doing try to fix the car, and if it starts to get too late I’d gather up as much signal as I could, get my current coordinates, get directions to the concert and if it’s not too far I’ll try to muster up the group to fuck it, let’s just walk. We can take care of the car later, it’s in the middle of nowhere so it’s safe, and I have the coordinates so we can find it again. Good to go. At least in my ideal scenario.
* #You somehow make it to the concert. The driver wants to go to the afterparty that was announced (and assure you they won't drink so they can drive back later). How do you feel about this party? What do you do?
I would be so hyped and totally up for the party. And since we got a ride, I don’t see why not!! I would try my best to drag the group with me and just hope they’re up for it because I don’t want to go alone. If they are then djdjcjfdiyhdoydkhfkhkhf my whole life got ten million times more meaningful just now!!!!! Lol
* #On the drive back, your friends are talking. A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward reaction? What do you outwardly say?
Nothing because everyone is entitled to their opinions. I might be a little bit taken aback, but I wouldn’t make a big shit out of it. If they actually straight up insulted me and attacked that value, then yeah I’ll let them know that I don’t give a shit and I’m sticking to my guns.
* How do you treat hunches or gut feelings? In what situations are they most often triggered?
Hunches or gut feelings are so strange to me. I guess a good example would be a test or something. Like something comes out of thin air and tells me the answer is C, but I dont really believe it. One time I actually went with it and got the question correct. It was weird.
* #b) What activities drain you the most?
Sitting down and arguing with someone on the internet. It doesn’t accomplish anything but sometimes it just happens. It all boils down to I’m trying to stand up for myself and stick to my guns and let the other person know I won’t change my opinion. But it goes on for hours and when I get back to reality my thinking is cloudy and I feel physically weighed down and congested. It leaves me feeling like a hot steaming pile of shit basically.
* #a) What activities energize you most?
Genuinely socializing with people who welcome me into their presence. I like being able to pop in with comments or jokes and tell my stories and just be accepted with them. I like not having social anxiety and just free to laugh like a hyena and be myself. (hope that was enough info haha)
Please do tell me what you think, I put a lot of time into this and I still can’t reach a solid conclusion.