How does your type generally show kindness and care for others without Fe? - Page 2

How does your type generally show kindness and care for others without Fe?

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This is a discussion on How does your type generally show kindness and care for others without Fe? within the Myers Briggs Forum forums, part of the Personality Type Forums category; Originally Posted by VoodooDolls i don't keep promises, i usually do what pleases me and this pisses off my friends, ...

  1. #11
    Unknown


    Quote Originally Posted by VoodooDolls View Post
    i don't keep promises, i usually do what pleases me and this pisses off my friends, like appointments, we might set an appointment for 9pm and i might decide i'm not going at 8.45, i lost some of them because of this because this applies at a greater scale to everything.
    but to be fair most of the time i don't have a strong opinion about things, like let's say a saturday night plan, i'm fine with whatever is proposed.
    i have taken the girl of 2 of my friends, both got extremely pissed at me but we managed to work it out because it wasn't me actively trying to do so, just coincidences, wrong time at the wrong place haha.
    i'm kind in practical ways like paying my friend beers if he's got no money, or maybe, not saying awful things about him that i know will make him feel bad, i hold a lot of personal criticism towards people, that's my kindness, and i think i try to praise people's work and dedication and appreciate their accomplishments. or at least i try.
    Mmmm... For my promises. It depends on the fidelity of the other, obviously. But I always keep my appointments. Really it bothers me not to honor that. It is a serious lack of respect if it is not clearly justified. For the rest I recognize myself.

    Respect is the basis of all relation.

  2. #12
    Unknown


    Quote Originally Posted by Pastelle View Post
    I mean, there's never been a nice IXTP

    But fundamentally, the extraverted feeling is both empathy and compassion. Empathy is an added value to the extraverted feeling. Then it just means that this part of us is more difficult to unlock in inferior position. It's reather a good thing in hard situation. That's explain that so many fireman and policeman are ISTP. So many psychiatrists are INTP...

  3. #13

    Quote Originally Posted by G.13 View Post
    Mmmm... For my promises. It depends on the fidelity of the other, obviously. But I always keep my appointments. Really it bothers me not to honor that. It is a serious lack of respect if it is not clearly justified. For the rest I recognize myself.

    Respect is the basis of all relation.
    Edit. Nevwrmibd. Wahecet. Nopiunt.

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  5. #14
    Unknown


    Isn't it obvious? You and everyone else use Fe. Forget the whole function model crap. We're all Fe users. (In fact, we're all all function users.) The only difference between people is the degree in which they use particular functions. You would be severely limiting yourself by suppressing Fe because "I am an INTJ and INTJ uses Fi instead Fe." You know Fi becomes Fe when you direct it to the external world right?
    Last edited by Zidane; 12-26-2018 at 01:55 AM.

  6. #15
    Unknown


    Quote Originally Posted by Pastelle View Post
    It has to be noted that F does not mean kindness. F simply tells you what is agreeable. Fe would say "this is good/agreeable based on the object" (not consensus, I hate using that in descriptions). You can be an F dom and be the coldest person alive, and I met a few. I mean, there's never been a nice IXTP. Anyway, how do I show kindness? Don't be an extreme dick and help them out when they're down.
    No that is very wrong. F is not agreeableness. Funny also how you try to live up to the stereotype of being T. But go ahead, be the stupid dick. It won't get you very far. As you will come to understand later in life, the shadow functions are the most powerful functions. A T that develops his F makes him two times more attractive, because F is the function that allows you to connect with people (which means women too, and esp. them in my experience, and I'd say that is because they are more natural F users on average). No one will listen to you without F, because we are not robots. Most people are not pursuaded by logic and reason, but by feels. They might take it into account sure, but if it doesn't touch them, they are unlikely to do anything about it. (I dunno how many people I've failed to convince of vegetarianism using rational arguments, would have become so if they had to work in a slaughterhouse for a day...)

    I dunno but, tertiary Fe I would say is one of my strongest assets. (By strong I mean that whenever I use it, I get much further then where I to behave in the more typical/detached NTP way.) It's really crazy how you can pull people in with, although ofcourse with power comes responsibility. Many have always claimed that it's not empathy, however imo, and developping Fe myself, I don't see how one can separate it from empathy. I don't see how one can be an Fe user, and not empathize with people.

    The experience should be similar if your shadow function is Fi instead of Fe, because F is F.

    So yes, anyone who thinks that you should focus on your dom./aux. and ignore the latter functions is highly mistaken and imo are just handicapping themselves. The bottom functions is where the shits at. Focusing on your strength but neglecting your weakness might work in a cubicle, but not in real life. Your vision will be very limited if you only use one eye.
    Last edited by Zidane; 12-26-2018 at 02:12 AM.

  7. #16

    Quote Originally Posted by Zidane View Post
    No that is very wrong. F is not agreeableness. Funny also how you try to live up to the stereotype of being T. But go ahead, be the stupid dick. It won't get you very far.
    ??? How am I trying to live up to a stereotype?
    Last edited by Pastelle; 12-26-2018 at 04:03 PM.

  8. #17
    INTJ

    The big thing with me is trying to solve your problems, which is interesting because I know that actually bothers some people. Sometimes people just want to vent or just need someone to talk to. But if I care about you, my first impulse is to want to fix whatever it is. I am really realizing that I am a natural caretaker, just not the way people tend to think about what being a caretaker is.

    Two examples:

    1) So, the woman I'm interested in was recently sick. So was half of our department at work. Only she got advice from me on what medicine to take, and she was the only one I actually brought medicine to. She was the only one I asked even once "how do you feel"--forget about the 4 or so times I asked her. Most of those times were after I gave her the medicine samples, to see if they worked. I wanted to fix her.

    2) I'm one of those adult children who ends up parenting the parents when they get old. It really irritates both of my parents, but I don't stop. My father has nicknamed me "the warden." He was recently diagnosed with cancer and has a bunch of other health problems, so I have told him he's not allowed to go to the doctor by himself anymore. I go and make sure I know everything that's going on, i.e. everything the doctor says about meds, what not to eat, what his blood pressure is, what is wrong, etc, and I ask questions/tell the doctor stuff my father won't ask/tell him. My mother has told me she doesn't want to live with me because I'm too bossy.

    I am not emotional about any of this stuff when I do it; I am my usual stoic self. And it doesn't just apply to doctor-ing people--I will spend hours trying to fix technical issues, too, for example. So, nothing all that touchy-feely or romantic, but...at least I think the woman at my job appreciated my playing doctor!

  9. #18

    I would describe myself as cognitively caring without being affectively caring. I'm not inclined to gush over how you feel and be all emotionally reflective (though I will be cognizant), but I will step up if there's something you need and I recognize I can do something to assist. It might be lending an ear or helping you out with something tangible, but it's almost as if my Fi is intrinsically linked with my Te when I use it relative to other people. It's oddly goal oriented and I'm always thinking about what I'm doing and to what end.


     
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