[burningzebra]

ENFJ here, planning FAR FAR IN ADVANCE LOL. I have my eye on a certain ISFP and plan on eventually working with them...but I actually really want to seriously date him. I have already carefully planned out my motives and have done my research with his personality type and how to best get at him. I am a girl with most planets in Scorpio and i'm very determined, sexual and upfront. I am the kind of person that wants to get personal with someone and talk about deep things fairly quickly. I don't really hide my emotions or motives. I'm not obnoxious but i'm just not the type to play games or hold off when I want someone. I will make it damn clear that I want you and don't mind making the first move. Can I do this with an ISFP or will it scare them off? Do they need to have the control by making the first move and whatnot? I don't think he'd be scared...i've heard some of the most honest and raw things come out of him...but maybe they are just blunt when it comes to writing.

Oh also, do ISFPs stay in relationships with other ISFPs for a long time? Why would they want to be with the same type as themselves? Just curious. Thanks!

[Folsom]

Speaking from my own experience.

Being upfront and making the first move is fine, maybe preferred if he is shy. Candid conversations would be fine as long as trust is there, but don't forget that he'll need time to himself. I have struggled getting that across in relationships before. It isn't that I want to be alone sometimes, but that I need to.

I have always been very loyal in relationships, but I don't know if that is type related. I have never met another ISFP that I know is one for certain, so I can't imagine being with one.

[katnip]

lol the title... as an ISFP myself, not only is it allowed, I'd actually prefer it if the other person initiated. That's not to say I won't show I'm interested, but speaking directly on it is a different matter. I like knowing where the other person stands, so if you're willing to be upfront about it yourself, that's great and makes things a lot easier. As long as you're not obnoxious (which you already stated you aren't) or pushy, you should be good.

Deep conversations are fine, but building up trust is important. There are certain things I likely wouldn't want to talk about until I get to know someone, and I would feel very uncomfortable if someone tried to yank it out of me. Someone respecting my privacy and giving me space when I need it does a lot for me.

[burningzebra]

Having space is totally a must!! I think that's the only thing that makes me more of an INFJ then ENFJ. I seriously need a lot of time to myself and find independent men so amazingly attractive. I cannot stand clingy men who want to call me all the time or spend days on end with me. I can't do it. It makes me literally nauseous. The second that kind of behavior starts all my feelings dry up. I don't have a problem living with someone, as long as they do their thing and I do mine. This ISFP is an Aquarius which seems to fit almost perfectly with the traits of Uranus and the practicality of Saturn. I love not knowing what is gonna happen. I don't want to be in some comfortable relationship where I know the person will be there every single day. Guess i'm just a thrill seeker in that way.

[burningzebra]

Also I find that I share a lot of deep/intense things about myself early on, which usually makes other people more comfortable sharing their own baggage. I don't usually ask anyone to tell me personal things, I just kinda let them know whats up with my own personal crap and if they want to share something about themselves it's cool, if not, i'm not one to really confront them.

I guess I like to put my cards on the table so people know what they're getting into from the start. I'm not one to switch it up after I get someone hooked. I'm more or less like, this is me, what you see is what you get.

[brightflashes]

I think most introverted men are relieved when women sort this stuff out for them. It gives them a bit of an edge when it comes to dating. Just make certain you don't take full control. He'll still need to feel like he's "hunting" you. It's a fun dance; enjoy!