If a sensor and an intuitive marry each other, would the intuitive feel unfulfilled?

If a sensor and an intuitive marry each other, would the intuitive feel unfulfilled?

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This is a discussion on If a sensor and an intuitive marry each other, would the intuitive feel unfulfilled? within the Myers Briggs Forum forums, part of the Personality Type Forums category; If a sensor and an intuitive marry each other, would the intuitive feel emotionally unfulfilled? If you are an intuitive ...

  1. #1
    INFP - The Idealists


    If a sensor and an intuitive marry each other, would the intuitive feel unfulfilled?

    If a sensor and an intuitive marry each other, would the intuitive feel emotionally unfulfilled?
    If you are an intuitive married to a sensor, where do you usually get your intellectual stimulation from?

    Should I give ISFJ men a chance?
    They are so warm, kindhearted, caring, and loyal, but my energy seemed to get drained around them because of that lack of intellectual connection


    My parents are already urging me to find a partner and quickly settle down and get married.
    But the men who pursue me are usually ISFJ and ISFP.

    Should I just give them a chance?



    My ideal marriage partner is a fellow INFJ btw, I can't see myself marrying anyone else except a fellow INFJ.
    But the INFJ guys hardly seemed interested in me
    Doll thanked this post.



  2. #2
    Unknown Personality

    If a sensor and an intuitive ever marry, a chemical reaction will occur causing them to combust into flames and burn to ashes.

  3. #3
    Unknown

    You shouldn't date based on type. That's running through life with blinders on. If you click with that person, why not give it a try? But type really isn't something you should look at for dating.
    The Dude, Spades, Noctis and 12 others thanked this post.

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  5. #4
    Unknown

    Are they self-typed sensors? I think that our inherently subjective perception of the lack of intellectual connection with someone else, which is also inherently relative, could be factoring our typing of them as sensors, independently if they have or have not self-typed as one way or another. Imagine then a self-typed sensor that you type as intuitive because you can have with him/her an intellectual connection. What I see is that we're talking about specific cases rather than generalizations that we cannot certainly know. So, if you don't have a intellectual connection with those men, then it's possibly not the best idea for a partner, but I don't see why type influences the decision. What happened first? You knowing they are sensors or you knowing you do not have an intellectual connection with them?

    Side-note (ignore if unnecessary or irrelevant): Typing someone requires, I think, to get to know him/her and reading him/her. I think you're trying to understand that person already. I often think what's the point of typing someone else. We try to understand others to type them because we want to understand them? It makes little sense. Maybe we understand them better by typing them, but a lot of times we do not fit in the box of one type. Knowing personally grants better understanding. Then, what's the point of typology? Typology offers a model of understanding, plausible motivations of observable behaviors. But even if our understanding is now richer, it's still personal. We caricature or stereotype if we don't.
    Herp and inregardstomyself thanked this post.

  6. #5
    INFP - The Idealists


    I usually observe someone for a long time before I am able to type them.

    For example, regarding the ISFJ/ISFP, I noticed that they are very emotional people, they are the types who cry very easily, they are quiet and soft-spoken and very shy around girls. And they are very family-oriented too.
    For the N vs S thing, I tried having an intellectual conversation with them, but I realised they couldn't keep up with me, they are mainly interested in topics such as what is happening in their daily lives etc.
    Whenever we were chatting, the deepest conversation we have is about our family etc.
    We couldn't even managed to have any intellectual conversations with each other.
    Whenever I tried starting an intellectual conversation, he doesn't even participate at all. He told me that the topics I am talking about are too complex and he doesn't understand what I am saying.
    Very ISFJ/ISFP like.


    And no, it's not because of their mbti type. I DID give them a chance, but it felt so forced.
    I forced myself to love them, but I just felt no feelings toward them and in the end they gave up on me because they felt hurt by me.
    I don't know why I just can't develop feelings for them . I feel so guilty because they loved me deeply but I don't know why I can't love them back.


    I love an INFJ guy for a long time, and I didn't even realize that he is an INFJ until he took the test.
    I just felt really understood by him, he can read me like a book, and he has all the qualities I want in a guy.
    But he is in love with another girl. So I know I can never be with him.
    Even before I found out his personality type, I have already fallen for him!


    So it's not about their personality types, it's just that intellectual connection.
    I am INFJ but I often get tested as INTJ, I am INFJ with a very high T in me, I need that intellectual stimuation !!!!
    Calvin thanked this post.

  7. #6
    Unknown

    I agree with you that it's better if you look for a connection specially if you have that intellectual stimulation need that isn't fulfilled and I think that can come from anywhere but not everywhere. What happens if a sensor marries an intuitive? Anything, that's what I want to believe. If we see them as oil and water, of course we see a potential issue where both could feel equally unfulfilled, if there's a way to measure emotion. Why are they together in the first place? It's not unescapable fate. Or maybe it is because there's a connection. Then, we could get what we need from other sources. I don't really believe in completion and the other half. But I'm not Dr. Love and Relationships. XD.
    WinterFox thanked this post.

  8. #7
    Unknown


    you're making this into more than it actually is.

    intellectualism and emotional connection aren't determined by functions; usually, you're going to be drawn to what it is that you lack, or what you think you do not possess but see in others.

    attraction happens as it happens--don't focus so much on what reality is supposed to be according some schema or you'll build yourself something fictional that you'll eventually have to climb out of.

    and tell your parents to but the hell out of your personal life.
    niss, Herp, Christie42476 and 20 others thanked this post.

  9. #8
    INTP - The Thinkers


    Hopefully no one takes this post as a sensor-bashing one, but I feel unfulfilled in ALL my relationships with them (except for ISFPs). It just feels really forced and unnatural. I grew up in a small country town where EVERYONE was a sensor, and unfortunately I never felt that I had anything in common with them. Although they have admirable qualities, they're just not the kind of people I'd like to go on a road trip with, know what I mean? But it's not just on my part; sensors don't like hanging out with me either. This used to really hurt my feelings as a kid, but after meeting some fellow intuitives in college, I've discovered that I'm not as "weird" as my hometown peers once made me out to be.
    walkthreesteps, WinterFox, pjmohr33 and 1 others thanked this post.

  10. #9
    ESTP - The Doers

    Quote Originally Posted by WinterFox View Post
    I usually observe someone for a long time before I am able to type them.

    For example, regarding the ISFJ/ISFP, I noticed that they are very emotional people, they are the types who cry very easily, they are quiet and soft-spoken and very shy around girls. And they are very family-oriented too.
    For the N vs S thing, I tried having an intellectual conversation with them, but I realised they couldn't keep up with me, they are mainly interested in topics such as what is happening in their daily lives etc.
    Whenever we were chatting, the deepest conversation we have is about our family etc.
    We couldn't even managed to have any intellectual conversations with each other.
    Whenever I tried starting an intellectual conversation, he doesn't even participate at all. He told me that the topics I am talking about are too complex and he doesn't understand what I am saying.
    Very ISFJ/ISFP like.
    Confirmation bias at work here?

    My husband is an ISFJ. He isn't more or less emotional than other people and isn't prone to crying.

    ETA: Why do you need to worry about getting married before you even find a LTR? Isn't that putting the cart before the horse? Dating isn't even about finding a spouse.
    Donovan, mushr00m, Christie42476 and 16 others thanked this post.

  11. #10
    INFJ - The Protectors

    I'm an INFJ and my husband is an ISTJ. I guess that our biggest differences resides in our different ways of reasoning and perception (N likes to think of the what ifs while S is about what's there and basing on own's past experience), as well as the things we are interested in (for example, I like forums and talking about different things while he sticks in his same few interests). I'm also more spontaneous and risk taker while he is not too welcome of sudden changes or unfamiliar things.
    Also, I do feel that he does not get my deeper sides, my inner musings, which can be a bit frustrating and lonesome. We can talk about intellectual stuffs, thought it has to be something that interests him, and we still have that "what ifs" vs "what's there" difference in our approachs.

    But then we do share many similar interests and views, as well as beliefs. Me being NF and him being ST are mostly about different approaches and reasoning and perception, we still have a lot in common.
    Thought if we think about that, people are often not pure Ns or Ss, N or S might be primary preferences but we can still have some S or N in us too.
    And then just coz someone is of the same type doesn't necessarily mean similar beliefs. Also, what if the other INFJ is immature and emotionally chaotic type? Or what if this INFJ has even higher expectations that they are not happy with us? As an INFJ, I might sometimes feel that lack of intellectual connection with my husband, but then I also appreciate a lot that he is uncomplicated and honest and devoted with his feelings. I can always know what to expect, and know that his feelings are real (honestly emotionally unstable and chaotic people would drain me too much). And he shows them through solid ways that are there, selflessly and willing put me before himself. He taught me to appreciate what's here right now, the solid and stable connection, the warmth and affection. What it feels to share our lives together. So we are not sharing some great romance story (art of romance is foreign to him lol), but through him I came to realize things that matters a lot but are often overlooked.
    But honestly, I don't think that I'd like someone who is too intellectual, as I'd find it draining and even boring or hard to follow lol. XP
    PaladinX thanked this post.


     
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