There is this issue I'm not getting over.
I used to date an ESFJ till about a year ago. We got along very well, had a lot of common interests, had a great time talking to each other, and above this we enjoyed a fantastic sex life. But he had a hard time committing to the relationship, and went astray several times. (I must admit I met him at a time when he was in love with a married woman who loved him back but didn't seem to want to leave her husband for him). So he cheated on me with at least two different women. I lost my confidence in him and got very paranoia and unpleasant, trying to control his every move by being the smothering ENFP I can become when uncomfortable in a relationship. All this lead to our break-up last year. He then immediately started a relationship with one of the girls he cheated me with, still desperately trying to keep in touch with me and stay friends. But I couldn't bear it, I refused to stay in touch. The profound feelings of hatred I felt for him as well as for her made me keep away and I felt bitter.
Then after a while we saw each other again and started meeting again, and also we started to have sex again, which we still do today. It's like an addiction. But at the same time it puts me in the position of being his mistress, and it doesn't feel right. I experience very high ups and very low downs lately, and feel like I'm never going to be able to stay at a distance from him. Although this would be the only solution, I think. (And so does my therapist.)
When he comes too close I start hurting him for what he did to me and make him pull away, and when he retracts too far, I start missing him and I reach out to him myself.
It's extremely difficult to remove him from my life, we have a lot of common friends/activities, and by not doing this I make it impossible for myself to meet someone new and start over.
What can I do? Please help!
Any comment is welcome. Feel free.