Bigger conflict: J type vs. P type, or J type vs. J type?

Bigger conflict: J type vs. P type, or J type vs. J type?

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This is a discussion on Bigger conflict: J type vs. P type, or J type vs. J type? within the Myers Briggs Forum forums, part of the Personality Type Forums category; For me, I see obvious conflicts and misunderstandings occurring between E vs. I types, S vs. N types, and T ...

  1. #1
    ISFJ - The Nurturers

    Bigger conflict: J type vs. P type, or J type vs. J type?

    For me, I see obvious conflicts and misunderstandings occurring between E vs. I types, S vs. N types, and T vs. F types, even if they have two or three other preferences in common.

    I certainly see it occurring in J vs. P types as well, and I've read all about these in books about type. P's feeling stifled by J's, J's viewing P's as unorganized, etc.


    But after thinking about it some more, I think I've noticed that I clash with J types just as much as, and actually probably more than P types. I guess it all depends on the situation and person of course...there are some situations where P types drive me up the wall.

    But I really see J types clashing with other J types just because both sides seem like they're more likely to be stubborn and less likely to budge on whatever it is they're feeling at the time. Of course, if these two things align, that's great...but if they don't, it feels like both types will be less flexible.


    Of course this is a hard question to answer, since it will greatly depend upon the exact type of the person, other attributes of the person, and the situation at hand. But if we're just speaking as generally as possible:

    J types can either answer personally or talk about J's in general, I guess P's have to talk about J's in general.

    However, you'll notice I haven't mentioned P's clashing with P's. This certainly can happen, but I'm assuming out of the three pairings, it happens the least. However, if any P type wants to chime in giving a different perspective, I would find that interesting as well.
    Harley, silverlined, lirulin and 9 others thanked this post.



  2. #2
    ENTP - The Visionaries

    I'm not going to lie. I find most J types to be a pain in the ass. Most notably INTJ types. It's nothing against them, but they feel the need to impose their structure on others and aren't very flexible. It's like they're entire world falls apart the moment order is lost. Which I could see to be crippling since life in itself is chaos. I very rarely clash with other P types. So I know it's not us lol.

  3. #3
    INFJ - The Protectors

    I think it depends entirely on *how* you deal with conflict. There are people who handle conflict well, and there are people who cannot tolerate any kind of conflict. I don't think anyone really enjoys conflict, but there are ways to fight in a healthy manner and likewise, ways to fight in an unhealthy manner.

    Becoming overly defensive, overly aggressive, name-calling, or becoming very passive aggressive are ways you can turn a normal conflict into one that is way worse than it was to begin with.

    In Myers Briggs world... J's seem to be more likely to force an issue, or to force a conclusion on something. This in turn, leads to conflict. How they handle this conflict really depends person to person. J's might be more accustomed to conflict, and thus more accustomed to fighting fairly. However, I have seen some very very intense J types that kind of just beat the other person into submission, which isn't good either.

    P's seem more relaxed, more random. They seem less likely to force an issue, or force a conclusion. This in turn, leads them to just floating along. Eventually they encounter problems, as life as full of conflicts. How they handle these conflicts, really depends person to person. P's might be less accustomed to conflict, and thus not really accustomed to fighting fairly. However, I have seen some amazingly talented P types who draw their opponent out, wear them down, to expertly diffuse a situation.

    Based on this... I think it depends person to person. It depends on how they handle conflict. Based solely on stereotypes - I could see certain J types aggressively attacking each other, a J type streamrolling a P type, and two P types passive-aggressively battling for months before one snaps and yells at the other.

    So yes, two J types fighting in an unhealthy way is probably the bigger conflict in the classic knock-down drag-out fight sense.
    teddy564339, Fred Dryer and andictator thanked this post.

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  5. #4
    INFJ - The Protectors

    If we're assuming here 'Two ppl get into an argument,' I'm definitely of the opinion there is going to be more heel-digging in a J-J conflict. However, as a J married to an ENTP who likes to argue for the hell of it and sometimes for real too, and with an ESTJ 8 mother-in-law to boot, my personal experience fighting with these two leads me to the personal conclusion that I'd rather do the real arguing and fighting with the J. The J at least seems to desire resolution of some sort. The fight might be very heated and disgustingly unpleasant for me, but our J natures satisfy each other with closure, no matter how temporary. Whereas my experiences with arguing with Ps leaves me with no such satisfaction. It's very hard for me to interpret open-ended statements and refusals to answer. The Js seem to be willing to keep responding. The Ps will just leave when they're irritated enough. But what I find happens often is Js think Ps are arguing when they're really not. So the J gets angry and the P gets confused. I do think, generally speaking, Js are more likely to START arguments in the first place.
    lirulin, Aelthwyn, TiNeSi and 6 others thanked this post.

  6. #5
    INFJ - The Protectors


    From a relationship study I've seen on MBTI types two J-types together reported having more conflict than J and P or P and P. Unfortunately they had no data to compare J-P vs P-P.
    Berdudget thanked this post.

  7. #6
    ENTJ - The Executives

    I see this as something individual. MBTI type doesn't affect whether someone is an **** *****-***'* ******. I've seen Js and Ps get into long arguments--albeit for differing reasons--but they usually involve a number of factors, including Si/Ni, T/F, and just plain stupidity.
    Esoteric Passions and IdealTruths thanked this post.

  8. #7
    ENTJ - The Executives

    I get along with NP's, I love how spontaneous and funny they are. As JXS said, MBTI isn't related to whether you're a **** *****-***'* ****** or not.

  9. #8
    INTJ - The Scientists


    I argue more consistently with Js, but there is the option of solving the issue with them. Like, actually solving it. I would rather argue with a J. Certain individuals excepted, of course, some can turn everything in a personal attack, but with the more stable ones there is still the possibility of dealing with it constructively, finding closure. As in, not merely forgive and move on, but figure out what went wrong and why and how to avoid it in future - with deference to the rampant misunderstandings that doubtless are there.

    Ps...ENTPs never seem to stop arguing of course, so it depends on the P. But it is true for me that I can hardly ever discuss real problems with them, nothing personal, so nothing ever gets solved to my satisfaction. Just avoidance, mindgames and the expectation of mind-reading capabilities, denial, never telling me something is wrong so I keep doing it...when serious personal stuff finally does come up, it is usually in the form of an explosion. So either huge explosion or a bunch of niggling things that are never dealt with. Js want the same sort of resolution to the conflict as me, even though our interpretations and goals may be opposed, so it is less stressful.
    Coburn, TiNeSi, TiNeSi and 13 others thanked this post.

  10. #9
    ISFJ - The Nurturers

    i get along most with j-types. i'm the kind of person that takes people for their word, and most p-types i know aren't like that. they say they'll do something and then they don't do it, which completely throws me off guard because i remember what they have said and it confuses me. i find j-types to be reliable and i like structure and order so i prefer being in their environment. usually if i have a disagreement i just say whatever, unless it's about something important - but that hasn't yet happened to me. i can see though where j vs j would be difficult because both are strong willed and both are capable at times of having unreasonable requests. like @lirulin said as well, j types are more concerned with the end outcome, i find, and emphasize solutions.

    i also however agree with this:

    I'm not going to lie. I find most J types to be a pain in the ass. Most notably INTJ types. It's nothing against them, but they feel the need to impose their structure on others and aren't very flexible. It's like they're entire world falls apart the moment order is lost. Which I could see to be crippling since life in itself is chaos. I very rarely clash with other P types. So I know it's not us lol.
    in that it can be extremely chaotic and a j with poorly developed coping techniques to deal with that chaos will no doubt inspire conflict in everyone around them, including other js.
    lirulin, Berdudget and Cathrine thanked this post.

  11. #10
    ENTP - The Visionaries

    Arguing with SPs is the most frustrating for me. They literally don't listen to anyone but themselves, get personally offended and fail to be objective.
    NPs are much better, not only do I rarely argue with NPs, but they are easier to see eye to eye with, because they value perspective and don't take things as personally.
    Other Js, it's intense...very intense, but for fun. Nobody gets personally offended or hurt, so the argument goes on for quite a bit. There is no agreeing to disagree with Js.
    So, I am not sure, it's all different kinds of conflict but for me, SPs are the worst.
    Coburn thanked this post.


     
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