Some recent tribulation has spurred my interest in the advice of those more emotionally inclined than I am. Well, actually I'm panicking, and I'm surrounded by post-modern sensualists who don't seem to understand, so I really need some insight from those willing to give.
In short (depending or your idea of it), I dated an INFP for a little less than three years. Admittedly, she began as a Psych experiment in the interest of proofing a few of my theories about people -- but of course I eventually developed the attraction I deceived her into believing I had for her the whole time. I began being honest with her -telling her about my manipulative nature- and so surfaced my primitive child-like emotions in what I've come to call love.
But with this attachment came the principle-smashing hypocrisy of our mis-match.
I disagree with recreational drug use, she loves weed. I'm all about saving my sexual experiences for a lifetime lover -- she's a bit of a nympho.(not that I didn't enjoy that aspect, I just regretted it every time.) I'm a traditional kind of guy: The list goes on.
It was a bad relationship -- I didn't feel understood, and her unyielding loyalty led her to tears if she thought I was even slightly disappointed in something she did or said! This led to me feeling guilty throughout the entire relationship, because my nature is causing pain to some one I care about.
We broke up six months ago, but she just sent me a three page list of things she misses about us and what she wishes were true. She still can't have a conversation on the phone with me without crying. She blames it all on herself.
I feel like a shit bag.
That underdeveloped emotional side of me is eating me alive.
What should I do in this situation?
What would allow her to move on?
How can I get her to understand
on an emotional level that she's just hurting herself more?
Thank you for taking the time and having the attention span to read this.
I linger on any advice.