I am fairly new to the wonderful and fascinating world of MBPT. I knew I was an ESFJ, but I am new to being this obsessed! I've googled my ideal matches and those types don't appeal!!!
I was dumped very efficiently and very suddenly by an ENTJ recently (he told me he was an ENTJ) and when I read through his type's profile, it really helped take the sting out of the speed and absolute certainty with which he rejected me! So I realised that the knowledge could be really useful and helpful in my personal life. Quite literally, something that could have been very painful, I shrugged and thought, well obviously it didn't work.
I have been internet dating a bit and I've clicked with an INFJ. We have seen each other a few times but we aren't in any sort of relationship and our circumstances are very different, I'm a parent, he's not, we live an awkward journey away from each other. But I did feel that ''click!'' you get me, I get you. We laughed a lot. But we told each other our life stories too........ There's a lot of slow moving going on. Even though every time I back off and give up he reappears. So who knows...
Meanwhile, an ENFP who I have known for ages as a friend has become very close to me somehow. Because despite our initial attraction to each other, when he said he didn't want a traditional bf/gf relationship I backed away. The relationship grew as friendship. But I talk to him more than I talk to my female friends and I never worry that he won't be in touch.
I had an esfj bf a few years ago and even though we were crazy about each other to begin with, it hit the skids really quickly as he seemed to get offended by thoughts he TOLD me I'd had (before I met him sometimes). Exhausting. I ended it. I went on a date with an another ESFJ very recently and I found him a bit hyper. He was wagging his tail.
So I guess my question is, can a mature ESFJ who has survived an abusive relationship where NONE of her needs were met, and who therefore is definitely not more needy than any other MBPT have a good relationship with ENFP or INFJ? Or is 'the type' I am repeatedly drawn to over and over again only ever going to work out as friends?
My closest female friend is an ENFP so even without the attraction side of things, or any expectations, it's a type I admire and like and feel relaxed around. The xbf who broke my heart many years ago was an enfp (the devastation lead me to an abusive relationship with an ISTP, a good match supposedly but it was miserable).
Is this why I've been single for so much of my adult life? Any thoughts or advice really welcome!!! Especially from Guardians. But from others too! Interested in any thoughts.