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This is a discussion on type interaction videos within the Myers Briggs Forum forums, part of the Personality Type Forums category; Originally Posted by Celebok Well, but if you're talking about an INTJ, then I would think that's more of an ...

  1. #601

    Quote Originally Posted by Celebok View Post
    Well, but if you're talking about an INTJ, then I would think that's more of an Fe/Te conflict than an Fe/Fi conflict. The Te user wouldn't have the kind of emotional impact from the conflict that the Fe user does. The Te just says, "This is what's logically correct, now I've stated my case, and that's all there is to it. What more do you want?" But the Fe user may still feel hurt by the Te user's cold way of presenting it and the lack of consideration for feelings, thus the Fe user still sees a conflict, while the Te user thinks there's nothing more to be resolved.

    If I bring my own type into the mix, it can get even more confusing, because I've dominant Ti analyzing the situation and going, "Yeah, this is logically correct, it totally makes sense!" and then my inferior Fe is like, "Oops..."
    I can see what you're saying and that may very well be the case. I guess as an Fe-user I don't understand what happens inside an INTJ's brain when we're actually discussing feelings. How can the Te claim what is logically correct when it is about emotions? I guess they'd basically just state what is true for them (Fi) and that's why I've been saying it's an Fe/Fi clash. Especially because I've talked to other Fe-users who have experienced something similar with Fi-doms as well as Fi-aux, tert, inf. Anyway, I am very open to any Te-user or Fi-user offering another perspective of what is the 'missing link' when clashing with an Fe-user. I've reached the point in this particular relationship where I'm keeping it 'polite' and closing off my heart. I think I've probably played this part too well though because they seem to think we can 'chat' like old times and the 'friendliness' is actually painful for me. Ahhh the complexities of emotions and public and private personas...
    pneumoceptor thanked this post.

  2. #602
    Unknown

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady Lullaby View Post
    Fascinating! Because the reverse has been true for me. I've been experiencing what seems to be an Fe/Fi conflict with an INTJ friend, but I've been the one feeling that she is more comfortable 'pretending that everything is nice and dandy' and I'm the one not ready or comfortable to spend time with her because I can see that we're just not going to see eye-to-eye. She is reaching out - that's big for an INTJ right? I am cordial. But I'm still too wounded. I no longer trust her emotionally and I don't have an 'off-switch' to 'connecting' when I'm with people. So I have to stay away until it doesn't hurt anymore. Hmmm....maybe there are too many variables to really pinpoint what I might have hoped to discover. I admit that with auxiliary Fe I am more 'sensitive' and 'lose trust' pretty quickly. I don't know how to get around that. I'm guessing Fi-users don't know what to make of it either and sadly the friendship fades out. Perhaps it is a 'pipe-dream' to hear her or another Fi-user say: "I see how you feel, it is different than me, but I can understand it."
    I think that since Fi/Fe can't see eye to eye, we come off as 'pretending that everything is nice and dandy' to each other.
    There is a huge communications gap, that only a good understanding by both parties can bridge.
    Having tertiaty Fi doesn't help at all either, as INTJs are in exploratory mode and will say and do things cause they don't
    understand the ramifications. When a person uses the tertiary they are like a child with a new toy.
    Playing with the foreign kids (Fe) next door can become a messy affair due to cultural differences.

  3. #603
    ISTP - The Mechanics

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady Lullaby View Post
    I can see what you're saying and that may very well be the case. I guess as an Fe-user I don't understand what happens inside an INTJ's brain when we're actually discussing feelings. How can the Te claim what is logically correct when it is about emotions? I guess they'd basically just state what is true for them (Fi) and that's why I've been saying it's an Fe/Fi clash. Especially because I've talked to other Fe-users who have experienced something similar with Fi-doms as well as Fi-aux, tert, inf. Anyway, I am very open to any Te-user or Fi-user offering another perspective of what is the 'missing link' when clashing with an Fe-user. I've reached the point in this particular relationship where I'm keeping it 'polite' and closing off my heart. I think I've probably played this part too well though because they seem to think we can 'chat' like old times and the 'friendliness' is actually painful for me. Ahhh the complexities of emotions and public and private personas...
    When you say you're discussing feelings, do you mean your feelings or theirs? That's the thing, I don't imagine an INTJ wanting to discuss anyone's feelings, unless someone else brings it up. Of course, since I don't know what your actual situation was, I could have an entirely wrong picture. But from what I've observed in INTJs, and from what others have described, they generally don't seek out conflict, but when directly challenged, they will not hesitate to fire back a logical argument (Te) to support their personal beliefs (Fi), without regard for the other person's feelings (!Fe). In fact, there was a time when I thought I was an INTJ and acted like an unhealthy one, and my attitude was basically, "I'm just telling you what's true, so don't blame me if you're hurt by it," which ended up hurting the other person even more. (I'm still guilty of this occasionally when I get frustrated.) But the other thing is, I had no bad feelings toward the other person, and I was completely willing to just let bygones be bygones and continue being friends, while they still felt hurt by my words. Usually by this time, they were afraid to bring it up again, for fear of getting hurt again, so the friendship pretty much died.

    I don't know if what I just described is anywhere close to your situation with the INTJ friend. Ultimately, you need to do what's best for you, even if it means putting distance between you and her (which may or may not end up being permanent), for your own emotional health. If the INTJ cannot see your point of view, then continuing to work on the conflict is just going to get yourself hurt. The INTJ will probably see it as you being unable to let go of the past, but it's probably not worth the trouble to try to make her understand why you feel the way you do. (However, if you have any mutual friends who are not emotionally invested in the conflict, they may be able to communicate your position to her.)

    I know you've watched a lot of MBTI videos on YouTube, so maybe you've seen one by @InterPersonality (an Aussie INTJ woman) called "How INFJs see INTJs and vice versa", which may be of interest to you. (I'd post the link, but that particular video has received enough flack from trolls already, but you can easily search for it if you're interested.)

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  5. #604
    ESFP - The Performers

    Quote Originally Posted by hornet View Post
    So what happened with the vids?
    No one else making any?
    I would like to make one more if it can be arranged,
    any type would be interesting. :)
    I'd love to chat with ya, man. Pneumo hasn't gotten back to me about when we're doing our chat yet!
    Inveniet and pneumoceptor thanked this post.

  6. #605
    Unknown

    Quote Originally Posted by Fat Bozo View Post
    I'd love to chat with ya, man. Pneumo hasn't gotten back to me about when we're doing our chat yet!
    Yeah that would be cool, we need an ESFP-ISFP interaction!
    I'll PM you and we can figure out how to get going! :)
    pneumoceptor and iscem42 thanked this post.

  7. #606
    ESFP - The Performers

    Quote Originally Posted by pneumoceptor View Post
    A little while ago, @jendragon got in touch with me about doing a video in which we discuss MBTI subtypes. I thought it was a great idea. I'm not sure how many conclusions we were able to draw, but it was an interesting conversation. Here it is...
    I loved this video, especially the part about how Intuitives will prefer intuition of "either kind" over sensing, and Sensors will prefer both sensings over intuition. My experience has been the same and it's why I don't buy most of these set-in-stone "function model" things because it seems like trying to force symmetry onto something that isn't symmetrical. Another thing that breaks the model is STJs, who in my experience tend to use a "group" way of feeling (what I think of as "Fe") more than the individualist feeling that I use ("Fi") just like the SFJs do.

    My function tests turn out the same way as well, with both "forms" of intuition as "unused" or "limited use."
    pneumoceptor and iscem42 thanked this post.

  8. #607

    Quote Originally Posted by pneumoceptor View Post
    A little while ago, @jendragon got in touch with me about doing a video in which we discuss MBTI subtypes. I thought it was a great idea. I'm not sure how many conclusions we were able to draw, but it was an interesting conversation. Here it is...
    And in going along with our discussion, here are my cognitive functions test results from today:

    Introverted Intuition (Ni) ||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 12.635
    Extroverted Feeling (Fe) ||||||||||||||||||||||| 10.91
    Extroverted Intuition (Ne) ||||||||||||||| 6.865
    Introverted Feeling (Fi) ||||||||||||||| 6.85
    Introverted Thinking (Ti) ||||||||||| 4.99
    Extroverted Thinking (Te) ||||||| 2.93
    Introverted Sensation (Si) || -0.76
    Extroverted Sensation (Se) |||| -3.43
    I have always been higher on the E/I sliding scale towards more E than I; even though I am certain I am Ni-dom. I believe I test high on Fe because I'm an enneagram Type 2, I was the oldest child of 7 and was relied on a lot to be 'mommy # 2', and because of the E/I slide it calls on my preferred extraverted function. But I am the most 'me' when I'm in Ni-mode. That is where my soul sits.

    I would like to take the same test as you @pneumoceptor - what test did you take? @jendragon It seems from my results (see below) that although I consistently test higher on Fe than Ni, it is very close but Se is ALWAYS my lowest and that is (I'm assuming) why I am given INFJ as my most likely MBTI type. If you look at my results, you'll see that it is not conclusive as far as the questions you both discussed in the video. It also shows what you both mentioned - that wording questions in order to get to the desired result is not easy! How we think, what is happening in our life in the moment, etc. all influences our perspective while taking the test.

    OK - here we go. . .

    Most Recent Results:

    Cognitive Process Level of Development (Preference, Skill and Frequency of Use)
    extraverted Feeling (Fe) ************************************* (37.2)
    excellent use
    introverted Intuiting (Ni) ************************************ (36.1)
    excellent use
    introverted Feeling (Fi) ********************************* (33.1)
    good use
    extraverted Intuiting (Ne) ******************************* (31.2)
    good use
    introverted Thinking (Ti) ***************************** (30)
    average use
    introverted Sensing (Si) ************************** (26.1)
    average use
    extraverted Thinking (Te) ************************** (26)
    average use
    extraverted Sensing (Se) ******************* (19.9)
    limited use

    Summary Analysis of Profile
    By focusing on the strongest configuration of cognitive processes, your pattern of responses most closely matches individuals of this type: INFJ

    Same test another time:

    Cognitive Process Level of Development (Preference, Skill and Frequency of Use):
    extraverted Feeling (Fe) ***************************************** (41.1)
    excellent use
    introverted Intuiting (Ni) ************************************ (36.1)
    excellent use
    introverted Feeling (Fi) *********************************** (35)
    good use
    introverted Sensing (Si) **************************** (28.8)
    average use
    extraverted Thinking (Te) **************************** (28.8)
    average use
    extraverted Intuiting (Ne) ************************** (26.9)
    average use
    introverted Thinking (Ti) *********************** (23.5)
    limited use
    extraverted Sensing (Se) ******************* (19.6)
    limited use

    Summary Analysis of Profile
    By focusing on the strongest configuration of cognitive processes, your pattern of responses most closely matches individuals of this type: INFJ

    Taken another day:

    Cognitive Process Level of Development (Preference, Skill and Frequency of Use)
    extraverted Feeling (Fe) *************************************** (39.7)
    excellent use
    introverted Feeling (Fi) ************************************* (37.8)
    excellent use
    introverted Intuiting (Ni) *********************************** (35.8)
    good use
    extraverted Intuiting (Ne) ***************************** (29.8)
    average use
    extraverted Thinking (Te) **************************** (28.5)
    average use
    introverted Thinking (Ti) *********************** (23.5)
    limited use
    introverted Sensing (Si) *********************** (23.4)
    limited use
    extraverted Sensing (Se) ********************* (21.5)
    limited use

    Summary Analysis of Profile
    By focusing on the strongest configuration of cognitive processes, your pattern of responses most closely matches individuals of this type: INFJ

    ANOTHER TEST:

    Extroversion (54%) / Introversion (45%)

    Sensation (39%) / Intuition (41%)
    Thinking (30%) / Feeling (69%)


    Fe (Extroverted Feeling) (62%)
    your valuation of / adherence to external morals, ethics, traditions, customs, groups

    Fi (Introverted Feeling) (55%)
    your valuation of / adherence to the sanctity of your own feelings / ideals / sentiment
    Ni (Introverted Intuition) (37%)
    your valuation of / tendency towards internal/original free association and creativity

    Ti (Introverted Thinking) (37%)
    your valuation of / adherence to your own internally devised logic/rational

    Te (Extroverted Thinking) (36%)
    your valuation of / adherence to logic of external systems / hierarchies / methods

    Ne (Extroverted Intuition) (36%)
    your valuation of / tendency towards free association and creating with external stimuli

    Si (Introverted Sensing) (32%)
    your valuation of / focus on internal sensations and reliving past moments

    Se (Extroverted Sensing) (31%)
    your valuation of / tendency to fully experience the world unfiltered, in the moment

    //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
    based on your results your type is likely - enfj

    Taken another day:

    Fe (Extroverted Feeling) (70%)
    your valuation of / adherence to external morals, ethics, traditions, customs, groups
    Ni (Introverted Intuition) (65%)
    your valuation of / tendency towards internal/original free association and creativity
    Ti (Introverted Thinking) (60%)
    your valuation of / adherence to your own internally devised logic/rational
    Fi (Introverted Feeling) (60%)
    your valuation of / adherence to the sanctity of your own feelings / ideals / sentiment
    Te (Extroverted Thinking) (55%)
    your valuation of / adherence to logic of external systems / hierarchies / methods
    Ne (Extroverted Intuition) (50%)
    your valuation of / tendency towards free association and creating with external stimuli
    Si (Introverted Sensing) (35%)
    your valuation of / focus on internal sensations and reliving past moments
    Se (Extroverted Sensing) (15%)
    your valuation of / tendency to fully experience the world unfiltered, in the moment
    //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
    based on your results your type is likely - enfj

    And one more time:

    Fi (Introverted Feeling) (75%)
    your valuation of / adherence to the sanctity of your own feelings / ideals / sentiment
    Fe (Extroverted Feeling) (70%)
    your valuation of / adherence to external morals, ethics, traditions, customs, groups
    Ti (Introverted Thinking) (70%)
    your valuation of / adherence to your own internally devised logic/rational
    Ni (Introverted Intuition) (65%)
    your valuation of / tendency towards internal/original free association and creativity
    Ne (Extroverted Intuition) (60%)
    your valuation of / tendency towards free association and creating with external stimuli
    Te (Extroverted Thinking) (55%)
    your valuation of / adherence to logic of external systems / hierarchies / methods
    Si (Introverted Sensing) (45%)
    your valuation of / focus on internal sensations and reliving past moments
    Se (Extroverted Sensing) (10%)
    your valuation of / tendency to fully experience the world unfiltered, in the moment
    //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
    based on your results your type is likely - infp
    Last edited by Lady Lullaby; 09-04-2012 at 06:27 PM. Reason: made it more uniform
    pneumoceptor thanked this post.

  9. #608
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by Fat Bozo View Post
    I loved this video, especially the part about how Intuitives will prefer intuition of "either kind" over sensing, and Sensors will prefer both sensings over intuition. My experience has been the same and it's why I don't buy most of these set-in-stone "function model" things because it seems like trying to force symmetry onto something that isn't symmetrical. Another thing that breaks the model is STJs, who in my experience tend to use a "group" way of feeling (what I think of as "Fe") more than the individualist feeling that I use ("Fi") just like the SFJs do.

    My function tests turn out the same way as well, with both "forms" of intuition as "unused" or "limited use."
    I want to understand more what you mean that STJs use a group way of feeling. Can you elaborate?

  10. #609
    INFJ - The Protectors

    @Lady Lullaby , your results seem in line with what jendragon and I were talking about in the vids, at least as far as sensing being on the bottom for an Ni-dom. (except for that one test where your Si was high... what was up with that?!)

    I just took the cognitive functions test on this site...
    Lady Lullaby and Celebok thanked this post.

  11. #610

    Quote Originally Posted by Celebok;2885967
    I don't know if what I just described is anywhere close to your situation with the INTJ friend. Ultimately, you need to do what's best for you, even if it means putting distance between you and her (which may or may not end up being permanent), for your own emotional health. If the INTJ cannot see your point of view, then continuing to work on the conflict is just going to get yourself hurt. The INTJ will probably see it as you being unable to let go of the past, but it's probably not worth the trouble to try to make her understand why you feel the way you do. (However, if you have any mutual friends who are not emotionally invested in the conflict, they may be able to communicate your position to her.)

    I know you've watched a lot of MBTI videos on YouTube, so maybe you've seen one by @[I
    InterPersonality[/I] (an Aussie INTJ woman) called "How INFJs see INTJs and vice versa", which may be of interest to you. (I'd post the link, but that particular video has received enough flack from trolls already, but you can easily search for it if you're interested.)
    You summarized it pretty well -yes - very close to my experience. I had seen that video before but it had been a while. I re-watched it and commented too. Thanks for your responses. I am glad there are people like her sharing and making vids.
    Celebok thanked this post.


     
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