Is my ENFJ boyfriend emotionally manipulating me? - Page 2

Is my ENFJ boyfriend emotionally manipulating me?

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This is a discussion on Is my ENFJ boyfriend emotionally manipulating me? within the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers forums, part of the Keirsey Temperament Forums category; Do either or both ring bells?

  1. #11

    WickerDeer and xrypto thanked this post.

  2. #12

    I do feel that your ENFJ boyfriend is emotionally manipulating you. It is better for you that you get out of the relationship and keep away from him. Try to avoid toxic people in your life. You should try avoid being very close with him. Donít depend only on him for your happiness. You will be fine without him, donít worry. You do deserve to be happy. There is nothing wrong in being single. It is better to be single than being with the wrong person. You will find the right guy in the future donít worry. I really do encourage using the suicide hotline number or calling 911. Seek professional counseling in this situation.

  3. #13
    INFP - The Idealists

    Don't walk. Run. Like, yesterday.

    I'm 36 years old and an INFP. I have both used these same tactics on others (when I was much younger and, thankfully, to a less dramatic degree) and I've had these tactics used on me. Your intuition is not wrong. I know you're worried that it is wrong, but it's not.

    Go. Now.

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  5. #14

    Im an ENFJ and...I think he's really VERY unhealthy. The best you can do for you and him is to leave him and protect yourself. Don't talk to him better. Make sure to take him out of your life for good. Despite his personality, all personality types can have personality disorders. He seems to be having one now and seems it can get even worse for you both. Im so sorry u.u

  6. #15

    Quote Originally Posted by PatronusPenguin98 View Post
    Is my ENFJ boyfriend manipulating my emotions?
    Hello! This is my first post and I was really hoping I could get some advice for my relationship. I feel uncomfortable talking about this with people I know personally. (Also Iím sorry for my crappy writing skills lol)

    So my boyfriend is an ENFJ and weíve been dating for about a year and a half. I really love him and he has a lot of great qualities but Iíve been really concerned about our relationship. He has put a lot of pressure on me to do things I donít believe in. I know I have a lot of convictions but he makes me sacrifice them all the time.

    In the past, if he thought I was going to break up with him (which I wasnít) he would become suicidal. After that, it got to the point where he would act suicidal purely because I was upset about something he did. I then began to realize it was most likely a manipulative tactic. I have a sore spot for someone playing suicidal for personal gain because of my past depression. I began to see that it was like he was putting on an act. Is that a sign of an unhealthy ENFJ?
    I would really love boundaries in our relationship but he just doesnít take no as an answer. Like how I didnít want him to physically touch me in a certain way but he would freak out at me and tell me that other girls would do it. I always give in to his demands. He seems to care mostly about sensual gratification rather than my feelings.
    His jealousy also really concerns me. He used to get mad if a guy just made small talk with me. He pushed me away from having friends. I had friends that were girls but he got really upset that I spent any time with them which wasnít very much to begin with. I really want to be with him but sometimes i feel so trapped and unhappy. I would really love To know if heís an unhealthy ENFJ or something else?
    He sounds like a real douchebag. Dump his ass.

  7. #16

    Some of his behavior sounds like my INFJ friend's first boyfriend who was an unhealthy INTP. It could be unhealthy inferior or tertiary Fe too (xSTP's and xNTP's). Generally, I do associate Fe more with emotional manipulation like that but in reality, any type can be emotionally manipulative - especially if they're narcissistic or whatever else.

    More importantly, I agree with the others' comments in that he sounds like a total asshole and I think you should leave him. I can't imagine any redeeming qualities that you see he has making his abusive behavior towards you okay. It doesn't sound like a healthy dynamic by any means. If you can't bring yourself to leave him for you, then think of it this way - you're only enabling his abusive behavior by staying with him which in the grand scheme of things hurts not only you but him as well.

  8. #17

    The behavior you are describing could be unhealthy behavior in any type. They always say isolating someone is the first step to physical abuse. Since he talks suicide whenever you need something changed, you are already being emotionally abused. Get out of there, please.

  9. #18

    Leave him and never go back! He's insecure, and selfish, and very much bad news!

  10. #19

    "Is my ENFJ boyfriend emotionally manipulating me?"


  11. #20
    ENFJ - The Givers

    I agree that he is manipulating you! Don't let this behaviour continue. I see some major major red flags of a purely unhealthy individual. Forget typology, he is just plain and simple unhealthy. It's going hurt you in the long run. He needs professional help to explore some deeper issues. I know you want to help & be a the kind person you are, but you don't deserve to be treated this way.

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