It's wishful thinking to believe you can control all odds, many people cannot cope with the fact they have no real control.
The most common theme is highly empathic person that went through abuse saying "I was abused yet i don't abuse others unlike YOU" they believe it's all choice because to them....it was all choice, they cannot grasp that others with similiar or less severe past can turn into horrible people.
Personally i had traumatic childhood and now have a personality disorder, i did not choose it , it just happened, all about that nature vs nurture, nature is a loaded gun and enviroment is the trigger. A depressed person did not choose to have depression, a person with BPD did not choose to have it, a highly empathic person did not choose to be that way, they were "gifted" with the right genes for the coping mechanism.
Now, becoming that way is not your choice in any way shape or form BUT trying to get better, healthier IS your choice.