This is a discussion on The Bubble Phenomena within the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers forums, part of the Keirsey Temperament Forums category; Originally Posted by Fru2 I'm honestly waiting for these moments to happen. What are you going to do? What's your ...
I'd just be completely open with her and tell her what I'm reading. These kinds of small talk initiatives usually end up being deep talks. In my case anyway.
I was one reading a book while being in a shift in the military guarding a holy baptism place in the river Jordan, where Jesus walked across the water. There came an old guy to sit right next to me to ask what I was reading. We started a conversation and it turned out to be one of the most interesting talks I've had in my life. He came from Canada to travel across the world right after his wife passed away, I felt like I've offered some closure for him in that talk, I also feel like I've gained another perspective I wouldn't have were I to tell him to not bother me.
Personal space is nearly non-existent.
I've never viewed anyone as different from myself, likely because of that attitude, I do stand very close to people.
Consequently it's exactly the same, as people get in real close proximity to me. Likely because they know I won't reject them. Many times it's introverts as well.
I do like people being honest with me. However, I know there must be a personal detachment for interactions to be healthy.
When I go out socially usually I have a little group listening to whatever nonsense I say. I'm met with so many questions, and I just answer, and answer, and answer. Recently I had someone laying on my lap and while another person was leaning on my shoulder.
I grew up in a household where I only ever had conditional privacy. I could close a door but never knew when or why I would be barged in upon, and anything in my possession was fair game for my parents, including the possibility of investigations into any material thing which was an extension of me, for any reason, no matter how I felt about it.
After I reached a certain age (11 or 12?) I never really felt comfortable unless I had checked all the boxes for "totally alone," no probability of losing my privacy. Everyone in the house is sleeping, I'm home alone and nobody is returning soon, etc. If people are around at all, then my feeling was always that I had no real privacy, physical or mental. My family was particularly mentally invasive, always asking me a million questions that I'm not allowed to say I don't want to answer (because if I say that then they only proliferate and of course no understanding is ever reached.) So in return I became very mentally evasive, reluctant to expose anything unsuperficial about myself. I would hide even my interests and hobbies, things I read or movies I saw or games I played or whatever, just to be able feel like they were allowed to be "mine." I had never had a physical space that felt like mine, so "mine" was just the sum of whatever mental activity of mine had never escaped my brain. So I built my bubble around that.
When I finally moved out on my own, then having some newfound space I started to allow the contents of my mind to leak into my reality, and my bubble grew to envelop that reality, so at that point my whole life became quite a private affair. That did not really fix the underlying feeling that I had to maintain a rigid separation between anything that was "mine" and anyone who paid any attention to it. To this day I am still just trying to learn the proper way to let someone else interact with the interior of that bubble. Or rather, I think actually my definition of what's "mine" is the thing that's changing the most. As I come realize that some of those things don't solely belong to me.
Really bubble story