What are the best subjects to talk with NFs? - Page 2

What are the best subjects to talk with NFs?

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This is a discussion on What are the best subjects to talk with NFs? within the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers forums, part of the Keirsey Temperament Forums category; I find myself often ending up in analyzing creative work (movies, poetry, music, photographs) with my INFP friend. What feelings ...

  1. #11

    I find myself often ending up in analyzing creative work (movies, poetry, music, photographs) with my INFP friend. What feelings and thoughts is the creator trying to convey?
    Whit my ENFP friend it's also a lot of analyzing, but more often we tend to attack our own experiences and feelings in a more direct way.
    Llyralen thanked this post.

  2. #12

    Whatever you are passionate about - I enjoy listening to other people’s passion afterward ask me about mine


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  3. #13

    Talk to me about Final Fantasy 8, Persona 3 or The House in Fata Morgana and you will be my new best friend.

    That was very serious but to be even more serious I think it differs a bit between Fi/Ne's and Fe/Ni's. For Fi/Ne's things that have personal meaning to us are a very big deal so mutual interests of any kind are a sure-fire way of having a great conversation with us, I think. Of course that goes for every type but I think it's especially true for us, nothing excites me as much as getting to talk about things I really really love, unless I don't feel as though the other person actually cares to hear it, then it's just awkward. Big detail there, don't ask if you don't actually care. But as for how to predict those interests, I'll echo what others have said and say videogames, films, music, etc. Things that play with our imaginations and our emotions. Things that you think we might have an emotional attachment to. That'll get us rambling immediately. So basically, anything that has positive emotional weight to both you and the xNFP you're talking to, boom. The start of a beautiful friendship.

    Oh yeah, and what Ai Tran said too, passion is fantastic. I love feeling secondhand passion from other people about things they love, if they can find a way to get me into their mindset and make me feel the love they have for the thing they love I can listen to them talk about it for hours. I haven't seen other xNFPs talk about this but I'd imagine that as long as you're not dealing with an extremely self-centred xNFP even that can work if you have no mutual interests, just take us along for a ride in your own emotional train of thought. But make sure to give us a chance to talk about our own passions too eventually or it'll just feel like you're making a whole interaction all about yourself and no-one likes that.

    As for Fe/Ni's, best for them to answer I think, that Fe gives a totally different worldview from my own.
    Last edited by Pizzafari; 07-29-2019 at 05:59 PM.
    secondpassing thanked this post.

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  5. #14
    Unknown

    I can tell you what I don't like to talk about, otherwise, anything really besides work if we are co-workers.

    Abstract-y things like art (what you like, or don't), movies (not what happened, what could or should have, etc) and foreign language learning.

  6. #15

    IDEAS - new ideas about subjects of interest to both parties !
    I love when someone tells me something I didn't already know or some interesting new take on an accepted theory or concept.
    Conterphobia thanked this post.

  7. #16

    I am generally broad-minded and I like conversations where I get the opportunity to express how I feel about the issues being discussed. Generally this involves the other party's openness towards approaching things from a moral, rather than a completely logical / practical perspective.

    Some of the topics I generally enjoy talking about:
    -Global affairs
    -Education
    -History
    -Psychology and sociology
    -Travel and culture
    -Military
    -Philosophy and religion
    -Video games
    -Food and drink
    -Music and art
    -Science / futurism (but not the overly technical parts)
    -Metaphysics / supernatural


    I'm much better at coming up with one idea after the other rather than being asked to focus very specifically on something particular. That's Ne. I guess I can be considered generally intelligent but very "non-committal", if you know what I mean. I can become quite dominant in a conversation and go on for quite a bit about something I believe in, but I usually don't go way too far. However, deep down my beliefs tend to be firm and I'm a lot more stubborn than I may look.


    The style of conversation that I find much more challenging, and much more likely to choose silence because I am not interested / don't know how to respond, are ones that are really focused on details, real world / real life / physical stuff. Usually I try to divert the conversation away from the focus on detail after detail by asking broader questions or bringing up broader implications.


    Some topics I'm generally not interested in:
    -Career and finances

    -Social proprieties and upholding traditions / cultural norms (if you want to discuss these issues with me, be prepared for a debate where you'll most likely come out on the disadvantaged side, or at best we'll have a draw, when the situation calls for it I can be very good at dissecting people's true feelings and insecurities while not being influenced in return)

    -Latest fashion trends and electronics (iPhone 12? Got a pair of Jimmy Choo heels from his latest collection? Good for you, but if you tell me you got a Huawei don't be shocked if I get into a discussion with you about China's increasingly frightening surveillance capabilities)

    -Home economics / household management (the latter, unless you mean it in a moral / philosophical / spiritual sense)

    -Latest pop culture trends, celebrity trends or whatever

    -Cars (non-driver, driving's never been my thing and if anyone tells me how I've missed such an important right of passage, well, I don't buy into the whole "rites of passage" idea and things you MUST do to be considered so and so, if you added a new sports car to your collection, great, have fun, but don't tell me things like "if you don't drive / have a nice car how can you get girls?" Say something like that and I'll make you feel like a cretin for a moment)

    -Beauty products / weight loss / skin care / makeup (trust me, there are quite a few men in East Asia who are into these things, I might be a somewhat soft, even effeminate straight guy who likes long hair on myself, but the guys who're into these things take it way too far and they just spell VAIN. As for the women, I'm not a fan of women who are overly into these things either, it spells vanity and insecurity and preoccupation with wanting to "look good" to more people when all I care about is whether she looks good to me, if she does, my bottom line is "that's enough, you're beautiful to someone who's important to you".




    People either find me very interesting or very dull, depending on how aligned our areas of focus / interest are. Usually it does take some time to know me regardless, and I really appreciate it when I am not judged based on whether I am "normal" or socially conscientious. Go out of your way to know me, you'll be in for a treat. Come with a condescending attitude and treat me like I'm a well-deserved outcast, I'll treat you the same and doubled. Be willing to engage, to have serious conversations and not laugh it off when I feel confident enough to share my views, even my sensitivities with you, or I'll never engage with you again. Do not criticize my decision to leave certain people out of my life and tell me it's "not normal because they're your so and so after all", if I've reached that point I have good reasons for doing so, please and thank you. Whether I want to share those reasons with you is at my will and my discretion.



    If you're one of those hillbillies / rednecks that go "I LOVE MY COUNTRY (or rather, the totalitarian surveillance system of corruption that runs our country and made you rich at the expense of the remaining 1+ billion people) AND MY FERRARI IS LOUD", then my first and last wish for you is to be wiped off the face of the earth. Rest in pieces.

    (this is in reference to a recent event, look it up and you can find it easily)
    Last edited by WraithOfNightmare; 08-28-2019 at 08:03 AM.

  8. #17
    INFP

    I can't speak for anyone else but for me I love having conversations that make you really think. Like the unknown is so fascinating to me because you can come up with so many answers to it but in the end it's still an unknown. Like aliens or the deep sea or any part of the universe even humans if you think deep enough you can strike a really great conversation with me.
    starberryGhost thanked this post.

  9. #18

    Quote Originally Posted by Pizzafari View Post
    Talk to me about Final Fantasy 8, Persona 3 or The House in Fata Morgana and you will be my new best friend.

    That was very serious but to be even more serious I think it differs a bit between Fi/Ne's and Fe/Ni's. For Fi/Ne's things that have personal meaning to us are a very big deal so mutual interests of any kind are a sure-fire way of having a great conversation with us, I think. Of course that goes for every type but I think it's especially true for us, nothing excites me as much as getting to talk about things I really really love, unless I don't feel as though the other person actually cares to hear it, then it's just awkward. Big detail there, don't ask if you don't actually care. But as for how to predict those interests, I'll echo what others have said and say videogames, films, music, etc. Things that play with our imaginations and our emotions. Things that you think we might have an emotional attachment to. That'll get us rambling immediately. So basically, anything that has positive emotional weight to both you and the xNFP you're talking to, boom. The start of a beautiful friendship.

    Oh yeah, and what Ai Tran said too, passion is fantastic. I love feeling secondhand passion from other people about things they love, if they can find a way to get me into their mindset and make me feel the love they have for the thing they love I can listen to them talk about it for hours. I haven't seen other xNFPs talk about this but I'd imagine that as long as you're not dealing with an extremely self-centred xNFP even that can work if you have no mutual interests, just take us along for a ride in your own emotional train of thought. But make sure to give us a chance to talk about our own passions too eventually or it'll just feel like you're making a whole interaction all about yourself and no-one likes that.

    As for Fe/Ni's, best for them to answer I think, that Fe gives a totally different worldview from my own.



    Speaking of Final Fantasy, X and X-2 continue to haunt me with their absolutely beautiful music and sad / melancholy plots.


    Some tracks from 10 and 10-2 to check out:

    -To Zanarkand

    -Morning Glow (vocal version)-really beautiful song based off of FFX-2's theme at the loading menu, the lyrics are happy / bittersweet but really sad to me.

    -Kimi E (vocal version)-This is supposed to be a bittersweet / somewhat happy song celebrating Yuna's character growth-sung by Yuna's seiyuu, but it makes me want to cry when you look at the lyrics.

    -Suteki Da Ne (orchestral version)

    -Via Infinito

    -Ending Theme (FFX)

    -1000 Words (Piano Collections)

    -Hymn of the Fayth (FFX, Kilika sending version)




    I think Yuna is probably ISFJ, and usually I have a love-hate relationship with xSFJs (more difficult time with ESFJs) but following the character development of an ISFJ-ish figure like Yuna strikes a chord with me emotionally. It's the journey of a young woman who learns how to live life for herself.


    I haven't played 7-9, I haven't played 11 or 12, I've played some 13, 14 is an MMO and I've seen a lot of 15. 10 and 15 sort of tie for the saddest FF endings, but in some ways 10 hit me harder than 15.

    What I've noticed with the NF types that use Fe (xNFJs) is that we do disagree a bit at times because they place more importance on the collective human experience (which is important and good in its own way) and on being socially presentable, but as long as they're mature enough they can appreciate me and where I'm coming from. My best friend, an older male friend, is an xNFJ (I'm still leaning towards INFJ).

    xNFJs are a lot more aware of the collective / universal human experience than we are, but they don't try nearly as hard to IMPOSE Extroverted Feeling on us in the ways that the xSFJs often do. The shared N helps out a lot.
    Pizzafari thanked this post.

  10. #19

    Epistemology is where it's at.

  11. #20

    Quote Originally Posted by WraithOfNightmare View Post
    Speaking of Final Fantasy........
    I love 10! I'm really not a fan of X-2 personally but there are aspects of it I like, like that opening theme, Memories of Lights and Waves or Memories of Lightwaves or whichever translation people use, my god I love that song. And To Zanarkand will of course always be a classic, it's the most collectively favourited video game song of all time on a favourites website I use.

    I'd really recommend giving 6-9 a shot if you can, 10's kind of the black sheep of the 3D Squaresoft-era Final Fantasy games because it's a bit linear (but still great!) so it'd be cool for you to experience those. In my humblest of opinions Final Fantasy died after 10 so anything you play from there isn't really representative of how amazing the series used to be. 6 - 10 were its glory days. Before that it was a pretty bog-standard old school RPG series (though I really like 5), after that the series' big cheeses stopped directing FF games and no-one has any idea how to make a Final Fantasy game anymore. Don't touch the 7-9 HD remasters though, 8's is incomplete and buggy as hell, 9's is just a port of the mobile port and it looks horrific, and all three remasters have stupid cheats built in to button presses that take all the fun out of getting strong and playing the game properly knowing you can just press a button and become a god. Get 'em on PS1 if you're able and have good times.

    Yeah Yuna's ISFJ, definitely. Tidus is ESFP, Wakka's ESFJ, Lulu's ISTJ (or maybe INTJ? not 100%), Auron's INTJ, Rikku's also ESFJ, Kimahri's... Kimahri.

    Personally I think Fi introverts and intuitive Fe fit together like jigsaw, but maybe we've had different experiences. Fi introverts typically want to be reached out to and understood, and NFJs often naturally reach out to people and try to understand them better, and it sounds like a pretty great arrangement to me. I've had wonderful experiences with NFJs for that reason. I don't think I've known many ISFJs or ESFJs that well though so I can't really speak on that part, but I wouldn't assume all SFJs would be like that. I think with people like that though it's often important to meet halfway. It's not good to be completely Fi self-focused when dealing with other people, it's good to also be mindful of others and how you can contribute to their lives. Otherwise we run the risk of being a drain on peoples' energy, and that's never good. But of course it is also important for people to be respectful of our own preferences and not try to pull us out of our preferred way of life completely.


     
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