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This is a discussion on For Sensitive, Needy, and Lonely People :) within the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers forums, part of the Keirsey Temperament Forums category; I wrote this so long ago. So, I might be contradicting what I said in the original post. :) If ...

  1. #21

    I wrote this so long ago. So, I might be contradicting what I said in the original post. :)

    If i begin to think that I am ____then I am ____?
    Of course, I don't actually think I'm an angel or a pegasus just because I can imagine myself as one on rare occasions. ^_^

    It's kind of just that images and mythological figures like that seem to embody certain qualities. And, if I can imagine and identify with those figures, then I can actually become what they represent.

    (Correct me if I'm wrong on this next section. I don't know shit about Buddhism.) Like, I'm under the impression that in Vajrayana Buddhism, a lot of the practices involve visualizing buddhas. The end result that one aims for in doing this is to become a Buddha by having a very clear image of the Buddha. The idea seems to be that identities are very fluid, and we become our thoughts/imaginations. So, if you meditate/pray a lot, certain patterns of thinking start to get ingrained into how you see things, and you become more like the Buddha.

    The most interesting thing for me is that there are some figures that I literally CAN'T identify with. For example, I have a strong aversion to Jerry Lee Lewis, to the point that I can't even imagine being him. I think it reflects a limitation of my personality--you'll never see me acting like him.

    So, I think the more fluid/flexible/active a person's imagination is, the more expansive/flexible their personality/self is. And that if you can imagine yourself a certain way, then you sort of are that thing that you imagine...or you're able to become it.
    browneyes94, TaylorS and saynomore thanked this post.

  2. #22
    INTP - The Thinkers

    I love you for writing this.

    You wrote it just for me.

  3. #23
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Quote Originally Posted by Selene View Post
    When I see you, I see an intelligent, sensitive, creative, caring, conscientious, all-around amazing person. You have high expectations. And you are so determined to achieve them, to become this better person, that you feel ... it is worth the shame, the pain, the estrangement, the sense of being all by yourself ... but not even having that self which you can turn to, because everything is unstable, uncontrollable, and anxious.

    ...

    See yourself as others actually see you. Your sensitivity is beautiful. Your willingness and drive to share yourself is borne out of a personal need, but the end result is inspiring to others, and very lovely. I get great joy out of looking on here, finding all of these sad/depressed/lonely NF's, and being able to give them virtual hugs. When I don't have the first clue how to help you, I still feel better connected to you, like you're more real, and like you matter to me. And that's a feeling which I wish I had more in real life. I wish I could see through people, because then I couldn't help but love everyone. When people put up their masks and I don't see things the way that they do, that is when I have trouble relating to a person.
    A thousand times thank you. Your post is beautiful and I feel better knowing I have this very same effect on others. I have never heard it said so eloquently, it truly resonates with me.

    God I love you guys :D
    Selene and eclectic_exponential thanked this post.

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  5. #24

    I wish I could meet the wonderful and amazing people behind such inspirational words. But like our angels and ideals, it feels like you're all worlds away.
    Selene thanked this post.

  6. #25
    INFP - The Idealists

    beautiful words.. if only they knew how often i feel like this..but there are too few people who care to stop and see behind the surface.. oh well ..maybe in the end you do only have yourself ..even if I don't really want to think that way :)
    I am an idealist

    "I really like who you are, and the more I get to know you, the more it makes sense. You have your reasons for feeling as you do."
    how I long for this words sometimes :)


    thanks for the post ..
    Selene thanked this post.

  7. #26
    INFJ - The Protectors

    I really loved what you wrote. Those are all the same things I think about. I was extremely lonely and depressed in high school (still am a little), and I would always fantasize about an imaginary girlfriend or friends, or even take a character from an anime series (don't laugh, please) and pretend as if she was my girlfriend. I felt that the world was a cold place and no one cared about me. Getting lost in fantasy was my only coping mechanism because that was the only place where I felt accepted.
    Selene, saynomore, indigocrystal and 3 others thanked this post.

  8. #27
    INFP - The Idealists

    Great post! Thank you so much.
    Selene and Lord Xephere thanked this post.

  9. #28
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    I can totally relate to the original post, although I do already use my fantasy world as a comfort mechanism, I'm doing my project on it now infact (at some point I shall upload some images). I got told by my therapist that it can be unhealthy because you can become to reliant on that other world and it can begin to seperate you from reality somewhat.

    I think to an extent that can be true as if I ever spend a few days alone, I go so deeply into my way of thinking that when I re-emerge socially I often tend to act very hyper and erratic and even more than usual bounce from one topic to another, sometimes in mid sentance. I image I'm very annoying to people around me; the same is true of me when I'm hung over though, I think alcohol surpresses my ability to edit my thoughts before they come out of my mouth for way longer than the time of intoxication, as usually most of the next day I talk utter rubbish, or maybe vulgar and childish comments and then sit giggling at it for about half an hour, just for the sheer uncalled-forness of it, and for some reason I find it hilarious.

    Anyway... But yes, I've always wanted 'saving' in a way I think, but in a strange way I've become the image of my own saviour. I have a rough idea of what my perfect man should be like, and over the years I've picked up (alomost) every single one of these traits, whether they be physical or interests, etc. Naturally I expect when I do meet someone I'm totally head ove3r heels with he wont meet any of these expectations, because I've never actually met more than possibly 2 incarnations of my idealised boyfriend (and they didn't happen).

    Curious, and I suppose a little more confusing given that I'm attracted to the same sex, so I can freely and easily mirror what I find most attractive about them in myself. Begs the question is it that I just highly value these traits, or is it because I'm a total narcissus that these things have happened though.

    Anyway... tangent, back to the fantasy thing; I often wish for an angel or someone pure to come and save me, but paradoxically I often find myself drawn to the people that need saving, again I'm not sure if that's because they remind me of a younger more scared and paniced version of myself, or what. It always seems the case that I'm better at saving others than I am at saving myself though; unfortunately when I do meet someone that 'needs saving' it ends up with messy complicated relationships and me feeling guilty when it doesn't work out.

    *Sigh*
    Selene and eclectic_exponential thanked this post.

  10. #29
    INFP - The Idealists

    Thank you for the nice tips.... I'll try to work on it but no promises ...It's gonna take time.
    Selene and eclectic_exponential thanked this post.

  11. #30
    Unknown Personality

    I cannot say thank you enough...Selene, and all of you...

    I am working on creating my own reality. I have recently begun working with crystals. My husband, a 5 on the enneagram (I am still learning myers-briggs...so I hope a "5" makes sense), doesn't do anything that doesn't make sense logically...so my new belief in angels, crystal energy, etc. is mine and mine alone.

    To know that there is someone out there like me....

    Your post made me cry. It made me feel less alone and less "foolish".

    I am who I am (hubby loves me and supports me in my quest for spirituality unconditionally...and he even goes to crystal stores with me and doesn't laugh if I pick up rocks off the ground) lol While I do not have a religious "sect" I belong to at the moment...I do have deep spiritual connection to all living creatures.

    I'm sorry if I'm not making sense? I just feel so deeply right now...(I'm PMSing and it's a new moon.....a time of deep emotion for me).

    Sometimes my feelings are so overwhelming, they even scare me (like now)...and I feel tempted not to post this. I am not depressed...just very emotional (can anyone relate?). If I upset anyone, please tell me and I will remove the post!

    Does this mean the test I took today (it 74% INFJ 72% ENFJ was accurate? It sounds like maybe I've found my "own kind"?

    In any case, I am deeply grateful for your post. Thank you...and may we all have safe, loving journeys together...

    Love and Light,

    Indigo

    P.S. Lord Xephere, I too used to have imaginary friends...and I made up stories with them. I've never shared that with anyone!! I preferred them to the "real kids" at school. I had a few friends...but most of my time was spent in my imagination...making up dances, singing, and "hanging out" with the imaginary people. I am so grateful you opened up about that....why should we have to go through life thinking we are "weird"? We are just sensitive!! Like my husband says "Being sensitive makes life hard." Like I say "But it makes life beautiful" :-)
    Last edited by indigocrystal; 03-15-2010 at 10:53 AM.
    Selene, Lord Xephere, Aiam and 2 others thanked this post.


     
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