My husband, an INTP, is a brilliant and fun-loving individual.* We have been together for four years and just got married in May (:*
Our brains obviously operate very differently which has caused me some struggle in determining how to best approach him on some issues I have been feeling he's going through. The main issue being that I don't know exactly what he is going through and therefore do not know how to help him or what the best thing is that I can do for him. Here's what's going on..
It seems my husband has fallen into a rut.. every day is the same thing, and I hate to say it, but this has been going on for a couple of years now.* Every day he gets home from work, takes a shower, and then it's right to the couch to watch television with whiskey and a joint. It just isn't a healthy lifestyle.* I've spoken with him about his mental health, anything going on internally and he just seems and acts so content. He has gotten so comfortable with this rythm that it almost seems he is afraid to take any steps to make changes to these habits. His mind is too brilliant to be wasted like this but I don't know how to effectively help him and am hoping some of you can offer advice.*
I completely undersand that INTPs need their space and aren't typically gun-ho for a social setting.* I've done research on his personality type and am really trying to learn how I can be the best spouse to him.* When I tried directly confronting him on this habit he accused me of giving him an ultimatum , so I learned pretty quickly that wasn't the right approach. At this point I am starting to feel like a broken record; I have expressed to him so many times that this lifestyle doesn't make me happy. And I am not being a hater on drinking or weed either, I will partake, it's the every single day aspect of it all that is the issue.*
When Nick and I first met he wasn't like this. He would run every single day and while he has always been very stubborn, it wouldn't require a battle for me to get him out of the house. I have been trying to encourage him to start running again but haven't had any luck yet.
It's also tough where we live right now because we are both transplants and don't know many people so he doesn't really have friends.* I have made all of our friends for us and even then he doesn't ever go out and do anything with just the guys.* How do I ease him into getting back into things that he used to enjoy without seeming forceful?* I know the first step in changing your lifesyle is the hardest.. I know once he takes that step it's going to be like a lightbulb going off in his head, but I just don't know how to lead him there.*