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SFJs and Communication Issues with NTs

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This is a discussion on SFJs and Communication Issues with NTs within the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects forums, part of the Keirsey Temperament Forums category; Originally Posted by italix I read the first paragraph and I disagreed as well, but as I continued I agreed ...

  1. #11

    Quote Originally Posted by italix View Post
    I read the first paragraph and I disagreed as well, but as I continued I agreed with the theory behind it. I work with 90% SJs. Maybe it's just a dom Pi thing where I've noticed when I ask isfj a question sometimes it's like they don't listen to what I say and turn inward to what they think I'm going to ask. Then I get an answer that doesnt make any sense. This doesn't happen that frequently. I've also had this happen with esfj but it's significantly less.

    My answer is purely looking at work situations where people are zoned into their project then I interrupt and they quickly respond. During a conversation for pleasure I'd be reversed where istj is probably better at listening and responding and the esfj is focused on talking in my experience.

    Sent from my LM-V350 using Tapatalk
    This. 100 times this.

  2. #12
    ENTP - The Visionaries

    Yes. Need t be careful as NT.
    Easy to offend the SFJ's.

    Any communication I have with SJ, for me only, comes down to
    trying to keep the feel of the conversation at room temperature.

    Hard to explain really.

    As a dynamic I must be sure to not push so far as to
    topple the emotional response. I need to recognize
    emotional cues. I need to (or best ought to) know the
    social stigma that may be attached to items I speak on.

    The ESFJ's in my life (wife/son) have learned to be more
    short with me and have learned to drop pleasantries. They
    know that to push a point with me is to be to that point.
    To lay it bare. They understand that I will not read into an
    answer such as "thats fine". Even if I can or did. I do not
    like to assume. Especially with feelers.

    It is not a one way street. Both types need to recognize.

    My ESFJ wife can listen to me speak things now that
    20years ago would have crippled her emotionally.

    I am able to listen to her speak about social normalcies
    and actually hear what she is saying, indeed witness
    through time that she is right about most of that stuff.

    It took some time. I dare not say I have SFJ's sorted. But I will
    say that the SFJ's in my life? Yeah, I got a good/great handle on
    it after this much time.

  3. #13

    Yes! Good information. I agree with most who says they respond totally off topic but I want a good solution of how to speak to them. I have this uneasiness like Im afraid to hurt their feelings but at the same time a building frustration that they dont understand a word I said. Except for my father who I think is ISFJ and he communicates well and understands what I say. Hes the exception, not the rule.

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