So, In just went and for my badge thing from PersonalityPage, and I came out with an 89 N and 89 T. I know this may seem dumb, but I feel less INTP-ish knowing that, and thought about not putting it in my signature. I do this alot, with alot of different things. I'll feel inadecuate when really, I'm either not or there is nothing I can do to change it.
An example is when I was in school last year, and this girl [most likely ESTJ or ENTJ], would always get math work done faster and would always score close to or an actual 100, where as math is not my best subject so my grades would go from low 90s to high 90s, and I would be fast but not quite as fast as her. This seemed stupid to anyone with an average lower than mine, because they thought, why complain when you're already so smart? But in truth, I felt as if she was much smarter than me [the fact off her showing off didn't help], and I was a bit intimidated.
And though I value more revolutionary thinking, I still coulsn't help but feel as though she was better than me, even if she was a bit ordinary in her thinking. I still feel like she has a higher IQ than me, and this scares me a bit. I don't know which would be worse honsetly. Being smarter than every body in your school or being average, because I'm sure that she has a hard time connecting intellectually with other kids [so perhaps that's why she has this rebellious, skater girl attutide?]. I would love to go up and talk to her and discuss all sorts of intellectual things, but she seems to think that I'm odd [or perhaps it's me thinking that she thinks I'm odd], and so when ever I muster up the courage to go up to her, I end up feeling very ackward and say stupid obvious things [like, you seem very organized (deeeerrrr)].
Perhaps it's an introvert thing, or maybe I just have low self-esteem, but I seem to be very self consciece of my intelligence and I feel that it's threatened whenever someone smart comes along.
I was wondering if any of you guys do this too, and what I mean by this is, thinking that you are dumb or inadequate when you really aren't.
**sorry for the long post and I can't be bothered to correct grammatical or spelling errors as I've just woken up, so I apologize for them**