Being stupid about feeling stupid.

Being stupid about feeling stupid.

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This is a discussion on Being stupid about feeling stupid. within the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects forums, part of the Keirsey Temperament Forums category; So, In just went and for my badge thing from PersonalityPage, and I came out with an 89 N and ...

  1. #1
    Unknown Personality

    Being stupid about feeling stupid.

    So, In just went and for my badge thing from PersonalityPage, and I came out with an 89 N and 89 T. I know this may seem dumb, but I feel less INTP-ish knowing that, and thought about not putting it in my signature. I do this alot, with alot of different things. I'll feel inadecuate when really, I'm either not or there is nothing I can do to change it.

    An example is when I was in school last year, and this girl [most likely ESTJ or ENTJ], would always get math work done faster and would always score close to or an actual 100, where as math is not my best subject so my grades would go from low 90s to high 90s, and I would be fast but not quite as fast as her. This seemed stupid to anyone with an average lower than mine, because they thought, why complain when you're already so smart? But in truth, I felt as if she was much smarter than me [the fact off her showing off didn't help], and I was a bit intimidated.

    And though I value more revolutionary thinking, I still coulsn't help but feel as though she was better than me, even if she was a bit ordinary in her thinking. I still feel like she has a higher IQ than me, and this scares me a bit. I don't know which would be worse honsetly. Being smarter than every body in your school or being average, because I'm sure that she has a hard time connecting intellectually with other kids [so perhaps that's why she has this rebellious, skater girl attutide?]. I would love to go up and talk to her and discuss all sorts of intellectual things, but she seems to think that I'm odd [or perhaps it's me thinking that she thinks I'm odd], and so when ever I muster up the courage to go up to her, I end up feeling very ackward and say stupid obvious things [like, you seem very organized (deeeerrrr)].

    Perhaps it's an introvert thing, or maybe I just have low self-esteem, but I seem to be very self consciece of my intelligence and I feel that it's threatened whenever someone smart comes along.

    I was wondering if any of you guys do this too, and what I mean by this is, thinking that you are dumb or inadequate when you really aren't.

    **sorry for the long post and I can't be bothered to correct grammatical or spelling errors as I've just woken up, so I apologize for them**

  2. #2
    ENTJ - The Executives

    I think you should just talk to her and get her to tell you her secrets!

    Honestly though, it does sound like you are a little bit shy, and unfortunately there isn't much I can do to help you there. I say just talk to her, what is the worst she can do? But I understand that not everyone has this mentality.

    I am competitive myself, and often was that kid that raced to finish exams. However, I have learned that comparing myself to others is ultimately more detrimental than useful.

  3. #3
    Unknown Personality

    I'm 63/84/84/89 and I still feel 100% INTP

    I think extreme proximity to 100% in any of the four letters indicates either an unbalanced personality or - more likely - that you were subconsciously fishing for your type and thus were not 100% honest.

    P.S. Yes, that was rather tangential but that's what happens when you read the majority of the OP after responding.

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  5. #4
    INTP - The Thinkers

    I can definitely relate to the whole "feeling dumb when you aren't" thing... I tend to do fairly well in my classes and I do the whole "rush to finish a test" thing, so I'm normally the first or within the first few people done. However, I don't try in school and find my grades tend to be lower than my of my peers. It's still pretty hard for me to not to get defensive about it and start babbling about test scores...;

    I'm not really sure what to say about your specific dilemma, because trying to talk to someone no matter who it is is still something I avoid... Just, I guess, try not to think about a possible intellectual gap and just talk to her about something she seems interested in, or maybe an interest you might share (I find this helps with the awkwardness thing, if the other person is interested), or just about math class... Not the greatest of advice, but just a thought. :)

  6. #5
    INTP - The Thinkers

    This reminds me of a time when I was in college studying in the coffee shop. Some other students sat at my table when I had gotten up to get something, but my things were still there so I just returned to my seat. They were computer science students speaking this language I couldn't understand and I felt a little intimidated. Then they saw that I was studying biochem and they were the ones who said, "oooh ahhh you're smart." LOL. (I didn't tell them how much I struggled with it.)

  7. #6
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Man, that's just a low self-esteem right there.

    Just chillax and do what you do. It'll come naturally and your talents will flourish. You're still a kid and growing. Don't put yourself down for not being four letters man. That's just unhealthy. It's comparing yourself to some ideal of what a kind of type is supposed to be. You're not a type. You're a person.

    Just do your best to be who YOU want to be. Don't only think "Who do I want to be?" but also "What attributes are needed to achieve this?" And don't beat yourself up about failing. That's life. Get over it. That'll teach you to either try harder next time or change your strategy.

    I urge you to take some time in thinking about those two questions up there. 'Specially the first one.
    niss thanked this post.

  8. #7
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Dude. I know. Except with me it's skills...and knowledge. I'm really immature about it.

    And you know what, it is really hard to disassociate from this attitude. Because when it's something that matters to you, it's like an affront to your abilities and intelligence when you can't reach a bar you've set for yourself but you see another person getting there with barely any effort. Makes you feel like an idiot. And when you try harder you feel even more foolish.

    The only positive I can see from it is that it does make you work harder. In private of course.

  9. #8
    INTP - The Thinkers

    I can relate. Since I rarely have the work ethic to study or do my homework properly, my scores are low to average and I get rather defensive when some people ask me why I do badly in school when I am so smart. I had an IQ test once, too, and only got 110, which, quite honestly, disturbed me because I thought my score should be much higher so I could live up to the genius status with which I am stuck.

    I think the drive for concise answers in NT's have something to do with it. Because I relate most with INTP, I must be 100 percent INTP or I might be...say, an INFP or an ENTP. I have to be a 5 because I might be a 9 or a 4 otherwise. I must have an exorbitant IQ score or I am not smart. Although I question the very premise if the systems I use, I still strive to fit in it.
    Sybyll and kaila. thanked this post.

  10. #9

    I was really bad about being called stupid for ages because my friend kept beating me in exams and saying I was stupid (I think he's an ExTP, haha). Now I dont feel too bad about it because I've proven to myself I can do pretty well if I apply myself and stop messing around (got really good results in my end of college exams and got into university!)
    You just need a confidence boost and to remember not to work for anyone but yourself. If you work to do better than others you'll always feel dissapointed because there's always someone better than you out there. I was really pleased with my results even though my sister did way better than me, but I was happy for her rather than being jealous or resentful. It's a much nicer feeling than I used to have, so maybe try that? (It's really freaking hard to stop comparing yourself but yeah).

  11. #10
    Unknown Personality

    Yeah, I think of myself as being average at best to be honest.

    I feel quite self-conscious about even the fact that the temperament title is 'The Intellects' when I feel as if I have the intellectual capacity of a lamppost.

    Being on a forum full of intelligent people doesn't exactly help that insecurity!

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