ISFJs - boring?

ISFJs - boring?

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This is a discussion on ISFJs - boring? within the SJ's Temperament Forum- The Overseers forums, part of the Keirsey Temperament Forums category; i'm an isfj and i find my type rather boring.....no means of offence to all yall. it just seems that ...

  1. #1

    ISFJs - boring?

    i'm an isfj and i find my type rather boring.....no means of offence to all yall. it just seems that there's no spark to me, like i'm just a little of everything and not interesting enough to function. if someone were to describe my personality, it's like there's nothing to say.
    Kommandant and ISTJ_1x2 thanked this post.



  2. #2

    Eh I can relate - in that I often feel like i'm boring and average - though doesn't necessarily mean I find individual ISFJs boring too. Occasionally I can get down when I see that others have a big talent or big goals. I can't draw, play a musical instrument, write, hell I can't even cook/bake (like the ISFJ stereotype). I don't have any big goals or ambitions outside of having a family (okay, so I fit that stereotype...) and I don't have an area of expertise.

    These sort of things make me feel that I'm just a plain jane. I'm basically the "pleasant" girl. People are constantly forgetting my name. But, I know I do have qualities that people I envy wish they had. For example, my patience, ability to diffuse emotionally charged situations, understand how a person is feeling and deal with that with ease, remembering important things about a person etc. I have great connections and deep relationships and that's what's important to me. I don't need to be amazing or popular to be happy in myself. I don't need the approval of anyone else, just those that matter.

    Honestly, in the past I've brushed off people with the assumption they are boring/shallow/simple and then got to know them and found them to be wonderful people. I think this could be the case with ISFJs; we're mostly modest and reserved, withholding our true personality and uniqueness outwardly and keeping it for those we're comfortable with. And that's okay. Similarly, the people who we think are big hot-shots with unique talents and careers may feel insecure in many areas, they just seem more confident and expressive than we are. Everyone has their public and private persona shrugs.

  3. #3
    ESTJ

    I feel like a lot of people think ISxJ's are boring. I can even see why people think I'm boring. I think I'm actually pretty interesting. I have a unique perspective on things and look at things in a way others don't usually. I'm also pretty funny, though I'm more sarcastic and dry. People don't always know when I'm joking, so that probably makes them think I'm too serious. I am also pretty serious, especially at work. It makes me seem too formal and I guess I can be.
    Jawz, Sour Roses, PurpleKitti and 1 others thanked this post.

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  5. #4
    INFJ

    I can't imagine finding myself boring?? I'm probably boring to everyone else but to me, I'm very interesting because I do and fill my life with things that interest me. I look at people who I find interesting and try to emulate them. Are you saying you don't do that?

    I don't think being interesting is about having a special talent or unique trait/quirk. I think it really is just about taking an interest in life. Become an expert on a few things you life! Take up a hobby or two! It's all about engaging with the world around you. ISFJs should be very good at that.
    PurpleKitti thanked this post.

  6. #5

    Quote Originally Posted by Daiz View Post
    I look at people who I find interesting and try to emulate them. Are you saying you don't do that?
    Does anybody do that? That doesn't sound like a common thing.
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  7. #6
    INFJ

    Quote Originally Posted by Jeux de Silence View Post
    Does anybody do that? That doesn't sound like a common thing.
    I suspect there's some sort of misunderstanding here as I imagine everyone tries to take on the characteristics they admire in others to some degree. Why does this sound uncommon?

  8. #7

    Quote Originally Posted by Daiz View Post
    I suspect there's some sort of misunderstanding here as I imagine everyone tries to take on the characteristics they admire in others to some degree. Why does this sound uncommon?
    It sounded uncommon because you said "interesting" rather than admirable at first. I thought you meant that you tried to be interesting by emulating people that you found interesting. That's weird to me.

  9. #8
    INFJ

    Quote Originally Posted by Jeux de Silence View Post
    It sounded uncommon because you said "interesting" rather than admirable at first. I thought you meant that you tried to be interesting by emulating people that you found interesting. That's weird to me.
    But why? I do still do that too. I find people who I think are well-rounded (aka intelligent, talented, kind and interesting) and I try to do some of the things they're doing so that I may be closer to being well-rounded myself.

    Can you explain how it's weird to you?
    PurpleKitti thanked this post.

  10. #9

    Quote Originally Posted by Daiz View Post
    But why? I do still do that too. I find people who I think are well-rounded (aka intelligent, talented, kind and interesting) and I try to do some of the things they're doing so that I may be closer to being well-rounded myself.

    Can you explain how it's weird to you?
    You're using a different adjective again. Well-rounded is different than interesting.

    I think it's weird to emulate people to be interesting because a core part of being interesting is being yourself, otherwise, it's not really you who is being interesting: the potentially interesting emulated traits would just be an act.
    Egao thanked this post.

  11. #10
    Unknown


    *don't mind my tone, I'm actually not being angry or anything like that, but this kind of aggressive expression is just how I converse now sometimes.

    Ok, I'm finding this argument between Aux Fe and Inferior Fe really amusing. But I'm not gonna comment because it's a very different set of personalities either way.

    "Interesting" is such stupid word. I'm sorry. But what do you mean you're not "interesting". What does interesting mean .. to you .. to others .. do you know it all?

    This whole thing is just ... I dunno. Sometimes it annoys me in a weird sort of way. You have friends. You have people who like you. Right or wrong? You are doing a disservice to the people who like you and find you interesting by considering yourself uninteresting.

    I mean, unless you are completely and absolutely alone and no one in the entire universe has shown interest in you .. of course. I doubt that that's the case. Or maybe you just haven't met the right person yet. But I highly doubt that you're alone and friendless.

    If one of my friends sits there in front of me thinking that I'm thinking that they're uninteresting then that means I'm an idiot. And I'd rather not feel like that.

    I'm not criticizing you btw. I'm trying to see this from a different perspective - from the perspective of the people who do hang out with you and appreciate you.

    I don't have any big goals or ambitions outside of having a family (okay, so I fit that stereotype...) and I don't have an area of expertise.
    Who said that wanting a family isn't a big ambition? And why do you think they're right?

    It is a life-long commitment and is extreme hard work. Anyone who thinks that wanting a family isn't being ambitious or isn't hard work is coming at it from the perspective of being an ungrateful and entitled child since they haven't actually tried to even think about how hard it was for their parents to raise them and all that it took. Again, I'm not criticizing you.

    I'm just trying to counter this societal narrative that is just plain wrong.

    Though I do think that at this stage in western civilization this whole concept of "family first" has been dealt a terrible hand by stupid liberation movements that have created an army of unhappy men and women because apparently "having a family" is "boring" which then gets internalized by young people because .. I mean, if you're hitting youngsters with a barrage of nonsense about how being career mindedness is more valuable than being family oriented .. you're going to have a lot of individuals really, really upset.

    It's like these morons spent the last few decades making it look like it's great to be a career minded woman by constantly shitting on family oriented women. Of course it's going to make it seem like this is "uninteresting". No it's not uninteresting. What's wrong is convincing people that it is uninteresting.

    Yeah. Real smart. Society is full of idiots making sure everyone in the world is somehow constantly unhappy because "being something" is not as good as "being something else".
    Last edited by SilentScream; 04-08-2018 at 12:06 AM.
    Glenda Gnome Starr, Tyche, Echoe and 3 others thanked this post.


     
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