Does FAMILIARITY breed CONTEMPT?

Does FAMILIARITY breed CONTEMPT?

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This is a discussion on Does FAMILIARITY breed CONTEMPT? within the SJ's Temperament Forum- The Overseers forums, part of the Keirsey Temperament Forums category; Hey to all of you SJs! :) I was wondering what y'all think about the phrase that "familiarity breeds contempt." ...

  1. #1
    ISFJ - The Nurturers

    Does FAMILIARITY breed CONTEMPT?

    Hey to all of you SJs! :)
    I was wondering what y'all think about the phrase that "familiarity breeds contempt."
    Any thoughtful insights?

    I think it goes both ways (i.e. in that unfamiliarity also breeds contempt // fear leads to hatred, etc.)
    As for familiarity breeding contempt, I think it can also be true. Do we ever get "bored" of people...even our closest friends? In certain friendships, do people run out of things to say? In friendships, do we ever approach a stage of stagnation?

    Well, I know I have been facing this problem, and I think the reasoning behind this is that as people approach closer and closer to the point of being more than just "familiar" and "very close," there is a deeper, far more complex layer of "familiar" territory -- I like to refer to it as the "approaching insecurities" territory.

    Some people are extremely open about their feelings, and for the most part, I am generally open about my feelings. But I would be lying if I said that I've revealed all of my deepest, darkest insecurities. Now, it doesn't have to be any conspicuous insecurity (i.e. mental disorder, etc.), it could just be that we aren't showing 100% of ourselves. And this internal, nagging fear could potentially be the reason why some friendships reach that point of stagnation and refuse to grow any further. Just my insight.

    What do you guys think?!
    Aquamarine thanked this post.



  2. #2
    ISFJ - The Nurturers

    its not the being familiar, its when people stop being polite. That tends to happen in long term relationships, we take the idea that the person has our back for granted and therefore put our efforts on being polite to others. It ends in resentment.

  3. #3
    INTP - The Thinkers

    No. Contempt breeds familiarity.

    **Cue evil laughter**

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  5. #4
    ISTJ - The Duty Fulfillers

    Contempt breeds contempt
    familiarity breeds intimacy

  6. #5
    INFP - The Idealists

    I've noticed though, that even nice people do it, almost subconsciously...

    If people think your relationship with them is very secure, they feel like it's more okay to ignore you for a little while because you'll still be there when they come back. This sometimes feels like contempt...

    I also do agree that with some friends, you approach a point of maximum intimacy where getting any closer would feel a bit weirdly sexual so you kind of just don't know what to say anymore okay maybe this is just me.
    Mendi the ISFJ thanked this post.

  7. #6

    Quote Originally Posted by Mendi the ISFJ View Post
    its not the being familiar, its when people stop being polite. That tends to happen in long term relationships, we take the idea that the person has our back for granted and therefore put our efforts on being polite to others. It ends in resentment.
    I think you said it perfectly.
    Mendi the ISFJ thanked this post.

  8. #7
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    With repetition novelty fades. But it doesn't breed contempt unless you maintain idealistic expectations.

    It's a less emotional and more accurate representation of a life experience/
    Last edited by Tao Te Ching; 05-07-2013 at 11:33 AM.

  9. #8
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Familiarity tends to (eventually) breed disillusionment.

    Contempt is probably contingent on content and appreciation.


     

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