Intertype Relations discussion: Relations of Benefit, Benefactor-Beneficiary

Intertype Relations discussion: Relations of Benefit, Benefactor-Beneficiary

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This is a discussion on Intertype Relations discussion: Relations of Benefit, Benefactor-Beneficiary within the Socionics Forum forums, part of the Personality Type Forums category; I would like to start a discussion about Benefit Relations in socionics as this seems to be a common type ...

  1. #1

    Intertype Relations discussion: Relations of Benefit, Benefactor-Beneficiary

    I would like to start a discussion about Benefit Relations in socionics as this seems to be a common type of relationship encountered among friends and romantic partners.

    Has anyone been in these types of relations? What are your and your friend's/partner's socionics types (left or right benefit ring?) Who sought contact first / who pursued whom first? How does your experience match with their socionics description? Is there anything that you could add to this profile? Anything that you did not find to match your situation?


    Types that are in relations of Benefit are as follows, with type preceding being the Benefactor to the type that comes after:
    Left ring of Benefit:
    ... > ENTp > ENFj > ESFp > ESTj > ENTp > ...
    ... > ISFp > ISTj > INTp > INFj > ISFp > ...
    Right ring of Benefit:
    ... > ESFj > ENFp > ENTj > ESTp > ESFj > ...
    ... > INTj > ISTp > ISFj > INFp > INTj > ...

    If you don't know your Socionics type, check the links and tests in this thread: https://personalitycafe.com/socionics...resources.html

    Description:

    These relations are asymmetrical. One partner, called the Benefactor, is always in a more favourable position in respect to the other partner who is known as Beneficiary.

    The Beneficiary thinks of the Benefactor as an interesting and meaningful person, usually over-evaluating them in the beginning. The Beneficiary can be impressed and delighted by their partner's behaviour, manners, thoughts and their ability to easily deal with things that the Beneficiary conceives as complicated. When partners are together, the Beneficiary involuntarily starts to ingratiate themselves with the Benefactor, trying to please them without any obvious reason. In the worst cases this starts from little things and then becomes bigger until the Beneficiary realises the foolishness of their situation.

    The Beneficiary can see the weakness of the Benefactor, wishing to help their partner to strengthen themselves. Because the strongest point of the Beneficiary is the weak and unconscious point of the Benefactor, the Beneficiary is convinced that they are able to help. However, when the Beneficiary tries to help, the Benefactor usually refuses the help without any good explanation. The Beneficiary usually listens to every word the Benefactor says but there is no feedback, the Benefactor can not hear the Beneficiary. This may be sometimes unpleasant and even irritating for the Beneficiary.

    The Benefactor accepts the Beneficiary as somebody who is lower in rank or social position and often undervalues them in the beginning. The reason for this is that the Benefactor feels that the Beneficiary needs something from them, that special something that only the Benefactor can provide. Therefore the Benefactor naturally finds themselves in an advanced position in respect to the Beneficiary, but are at the same time willing to encourage and take care of the Beneficiary.

    Relations of Benefit may appear even and conflict free. Usually it is the Benefactor who initiates the contact. Partners can even feel some kind of spiritual connection between them. However, relations last only as long as the Benefactor has something to give and the Beneficiary has need of it. If this major condition is no longer fulfilled, relations enter quite an unpleasant stage of their development. The Beneficiary may begin ignoring the Benefactor completely or they may start to accentuate too many of the Benefactors inability, provoking arguments and quarrels. Finally, when the Benefactor is in a superior position to the Beneficiary, it can work quite well, but not when it is the other way round!

    (more info about relations of benefit)
    Shadowlight, Teybo, BlissfulDreams and 1 others thanked this post.



  2. #2

    All I can share at this moment is that I've always had a magnetic attraction to both types that are benefit relations for me. I'm Ni Fe and i continue to seek out the company of both Ti Ne and Fi Se.

    I'm always the chaser, either way. Lol. I seek interaction. I get feedback that suggests the interaction is mutually satisfying, though I've never been in a long term romantic relationship with either type. I've just had pretty intense, intimate friendships.

    Hope that's in any way helpful.

  3. #3

    I'm an INFj man, and I've been married to an INTp woman for 25 years. Only today did I learn that this is a "Benefit" type relationship according to Socionics.

    We love each other and get along fine, as far as I'm concerned. If she were describing our relationship, she'd probably emphasize the challenges. Sometimes she says we're opposites and have nothing in common. I always disagree. While we have trouble finding common ground and things to do together, I think we still have plenty in common.

    The theory says I look to her to do Te stuff, while she ends up being disappointed with lack of Se from me. It's true that she has had to take the lead in home finances, the process of buying and refinancing our home, etc.; and she also takes care of doing the taxes and organizing most of our activities. And she often complains that I don't take the initiative enough; she wishes I were more aggressive, aware of my body and environment, and physically expressive.

    I don't have any current relationships with an ISFp, but the impression I get is of one being a "tag-along." It's pleasant enough and sometimes good for my ego, but it feels annoyingly one-sided.
    cyamitide and Teen Rose thanked this post.

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  5. #4

    My father is my benefactor and it really fucks me up.

    I feel absolutely powerless. It's like hitting my head against a brick wall. I know that in any other context, my words and opinions would have weight because they are good. He, however, thinks that they are completely irrelevant and ignorable.

    "2+2 is FOUR"
    "Uh huh, sure... Hey Barbara, what's for dinner?"
    clay, Teen Rose, cyamitide and 1 others thanked this post.

  6. #5

    Quote Originally Posted by random86 View Post
    My father is my benefactor and it really fucks me up.

    I feel absolutely powerless. It's like hitting my head against a brick wall. I know that in any other context, my words and opinions would have weight because they are good. He, however, thinks that they are completely irrelevant and ignorable.

    "2+2 is FOUR"
    "Uh huh, sure... Hey Barbara, what's for dinner?"
    what are your types if you don't mind me asking?

  7. #6

    He's ESTJ, I'm ENTP.
    clay thanked this post.

  8. #7

    Thinking about it a little more, he is also just flat out RUDE to me.

    We are walking around the mall and I am in a bad mood. "You want someone to help you out?" I say, "no".

    "Hi, did you want any help?"

    He totally ignored me and sought out a sales associate to come "help".

    WTF?

    He doesn't respect me AT ALL. It's infuriating, and then it gets a little depressing. I am totally powerless. You can see it in just about everything he does. When I am about to take something out of the microwave, he swoops in to "take control" of the situation. I put my hand up to hold him back because, hey, I'm about 20 so I HAVE this. He gets MAD.

    I can't even believe I have to do all the shit I have to do.

    He sets up horrible situation after horrible situation.

    "Hey, maybe you could tutor oldlady!"

    "no."

    "yeah!"

    "Sure, I'll tutor you!"

    "I don't want tutoring."

    "You just haven't had the right one yet!"

    "I don't... need... tutoring."


    He tried to tell me that it would be great if I dated this boy... who I later found out was already in a relationship. Way to set me up for total humiliation and make me look like a stalker, dad.


    I can't seem to overcome him. He is a wall. A horrible horrible wall. No matter how hard I try to make him respect me, he never will.
    clay and Teen Rose thanked this post.

  9. #8

    @Oldlady What are your socionics types? That may have been what you were going for previously, but it's difficult to know when someone uses the MBTI notation (sometimes they are assuming their JCF typing carries over into Socionics or trying to insert their JCF type into the Socionics intertype system).

    Interestingly, your father sounds like mine. He is very likely ESTJ in JCF, and Te-base in Socionics.

  10. #9

    Part relate too because I'm certain my stepmother is an ESTJ as well but she's not as much of a control freak in comparison but a lot of our conflicts at home were definitely due to me having an entirely different idea of how things were supposed to be done as opposed to her, but she being the parent, I had apparently no will in the matter.

    I'm also sure she's a Te base in socionics.

    Of course, not every Te base is going to be a tyrant, but I think perhaps between child-parent, relationships of duality/semi-duality is probably not the optimal...
    Teen Rose thanked this post.

  11. #10
    Unknown

    Quote Originally Posted by cyamitide View Post
    I would like to start a discussion about Benefit Relations in socionics as this seems to be a common type of relationship encountered among friends and romantic partners.

    Has anyone been in these types of relations? What are your and your friend's/partner's socionics types (left or right benefit ring?) Who sought contact first / who pursued whom first? How does your experience match with their socionics description? Is there anything that you could add to this profile? Anything that you did not find to match your situation?
    I'm IEI (INFp). My last boyfriend was ESI (ISFj), making him the benefactor and me the beneficiary. The description you posted is pretty much the storyline of our relationship. We found each other on an online dating site. I don't remember who initiated contact, but it seemed pretty mutual as far as I recall. I loved his warm, tender heart and marveled that he was able to be so warm and tender and yet spontaneous and freewheeling at the same time. I wanted to shower him with my affections. I also wanted to help him with some of his life problems, most of which seemed to stem from short-sightedness on his part (extreme debt, precarious job with a pyramid scheme, unfulfilled aspirations of being a photographer). Not once, in our whole relationship, did he ever take my suggestions. Ever. That frustrated me to no end.

    Our relationship ended soon after I graduated from university and moved across the country to start a new job. We remained friends for a few years, but now he has another boyfriend and our contact with each other has pretty much ended.

    The thing that stands out from the profile as being the least applicable is the part about rank and social position. I agree with the spirit of that paragraph, but I don't think it has anything to do with social rank. My boyfriend was older, but I was the one with a college degree. We both made about the same income.

    Right now, my boss/mentor of 3+ years is my beneficiary. I'll post about that when I have a chance.
    cyamitide, SisOfNight and Teen Rose thanked this post.


     
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