Erotic attitudes/Romance style of SLE/ ESTP What are the "sadistic" games they play? - Page 2

Erotic attitudes/Romance style of SLE/ ESTP What are the "sadistic" games they play?

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This is a discussion on Erotic attitudes/Romance style of SLE/ ESTP What are the "sadistic" games they play? within the Socionics Forum forums, part of the Personality Type Forums category; Originally Posted by Choice Just to clarify, by push and pull, you mean to deliberately acting aloof at times to ...

  1. #11
    EII

    Quote Originally Posted by Choice View Post
    Just to clarify, by push and pull, you mean to deliberately acting aloof at times to makes the other person take initiative?

    If so, then my response would be "Please don't chase me when I'm deliberately pulling away. If I'm interested I'll come back later on my own after my coffee break. Clinginess sounds terrifying".
    Yea that's what I mean. If you aren't pulling away because you want the person to chase you then it's not considered push and pull. So your example doesn't sound like push and pull.

    I think Victim romance style is more push and pull because they are trying to see the strength of desire in the person that is pursuing them, so they throw in obstacles in the way to see if the aggressor will break through them, things like showing lack of interest and saying no to hanging out or to sexual advances when the opposite is what they want. It probably frustrates and makes no sense to other romances styles but just appears like a challenge to an aggressor.
    Santa Gloss thanked this post.

  2. #12

    What would an estp’s issue be if he would message a girl he’s dating and then when she replies he disappears for a day or 2 sometimes 3.. Or he would say he was going to call back in 5 min and wouldn’t call at all.. but he insists he’s crazy about her? (By the way she* doesn’t really care much about it all she’s just curious about this behaviour lol)

  3. #13

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    I think Victim romance style is more push and pull because they are trying to see the strength of desire in the person that is pursuing them, so they throw in obstacles in the way to see if the aggressor will break through them, things like showing lack of interest and saying no to hanging out or to sexual advances when the opposite is what they want. It probably frustrates and makes no sense to other romances styles but just appears like a challenge to an aggressor.
    That doesn't sound like a challenge, that just sounds like they're a nutcase with trust issues. unless they're just trolling. I can't criticise the latter. It's a solid motivation.
    L P thanked this post.

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  5. #14

    Quote Originally Posted by Foxyfox View Post
    What would an estp’s issue be if he would message a girl he’s dating and then when she replies he disappears for a day or 2 sometimes 3.. Or he would say he was going to call back in 5 min and wouldn’t call at all.. but he insists he’s crazy about her? (By the way she* doesn’t really care much about it all she’s just curious about this behaviour lol)
    I can't be sure cos everyone's different, but my best guess is that if he ain't lying - he's just busy. or got distracted by something else. As to the calling back in 5 mins thing - that's also something I keep forgetting with friends as well.

    Dissappearing for 3 days is pretty smallfry imo. Unless there was some emergency or specific plans and he blows that person off - that's just rude.

    If it helps, ESTPs stereotypically are bad at planning for the future and all that. Learning to say bbl is a thing for me, at least. I'd say ask said ESTP if their SO taking some time for themselves randomly without warning for a short while (in the absence of anything planned) would be an issue for them. (I'm fully willing to bet on a confused no, why?)

    but yeah, I'd say setting boundaries on how much space is needed or unwanted is important. & if they're unwilling to give you space when you need it, but it's ok when they fuckoff at will, they obviously don't respect you - ditch them immediately.

  6. #15
    EII

    Quote Originally Posted by Choice View Post
    That doesn't sound like a challenge, that just sounds like they're a nutcase with trust issues. unless they're just trolling. I can't criticise the latter. It's a solid motivation.




    Victim Romance style in a nutshell.

    I do notice some playing hard to get tactics from girls and I wouldn't be surprised if they were victim romance style. Bitch shield, short answers, no eye contact. These can be signs of legit disinterest but with victim romance they can also equally be tests. And victim romance style gets turned on with aggressor passes their tests, since they are sort for built for them.

    I'm starting to think that the sadistic games that someone wants to play without breaking the person is more of a victim romance style that an aggressor one. Let me see how much I can reject this person or show no signs of interest before this person gives up.

    Perhaps aggressors play sadistic games like pushing this person to see the extent of their loyalty, making them do things to prove their loyalty. These games could probably get sadistic. Tattoos of their names branded on the person or making them beg for something, idk.
    Last edited by L P; 12-05-2018 at 09:16 PM.

  7. #16

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    I'm starting to think that the sadistic games that someone wants to play without breaking the person is more of a victim romance style that an aggressor one. Let me see how much I can reject this person or show no signs of interest before this person gives up.

    Perhaps aggressors play sadistic games like pushing this person to see the extent of their loyalty, making them do things to prove their loyalty. These games could probably get sadistic. Tattoos of their names branded on the person or making them beg for something, idk.
    You're on to something here.

    I don't want the interest to be difficult to aquire. I want the interest to show its balance between enjoyment and intergrity. How do I provoke that? By rough (and albeit sometimes silly) play.
    Choice and L P thanked this post.

  8. #17

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post


    Victim Romance style in a nutshell.
    Dunno much bout victim romance, but the video content? That just sounds like extremely bad BDSM etiquette. That is NOT how you do non-con roleplay. She just needs proper education man.
    L P thanked this post.

  9. #18

    Quote Originally Posted by Schizoid View Post
    ^ I think that storybook has portrayed some of the "sadistic" games that SLEs play, e.g., asking their romantic interests to play matchmaker for them, and then almost ended up marrying someone else too.
    Haha! What I get from that story is:
    - Their loss! (for ending up heart-broken for a life-time while the SLE is as happy its ever gonna get, SLEs are lazy opportunity seekers, we take what we can get)

    Serious life-lesson thou: Don't play these kinds of "romantic games". If you like someone just grow a pair and ask!
    Last edited by pwowq; 12-06-2018 at 01:36 PM.

  10. #19
    EII

    Quote Originally Posted by Schizoid View Post
    I don't know how the romance style of SLEs works in real life, since I haven't been with one before, but I've just read a storybook about this guy who is an SLE and this girl who is an IEI, and their romance is really interesting.

    Both of them fell in love at first sight with each other. Both of them had a chance encounter with each other, and during that encounter, the SLE finds himself enchanted by the IEI, so he started pursuing her.
    He wanted to marry her, and the IEI actually has strong feelings for him too but she kept rejecting him over and over again.
    So the SLE ended up asking the IEI to play matchmaker and help him find a bride for marriage, and when the IEI finally managed to help him find a bride and he is about to get married to that bride, the SLE realized that he wasn't able to forget the IEI, so he went back to pursue her again and propose to her. Again, she turned him down. And then he decided to return back to his country, but just before he left her country he decided to propose to her again, and this time she finally accepted his proposal.


    ^ I think that storybook has portrayed some of the "sadistic" games that SLEs play, e.g., asking their romantic interests to play matchmaker for them, and then almost ended up marrying someone else too.
    So the IEI wasn't sadistic here? She has strong feelings for him but rejects him over and over again and is willing to watch him marry someone else?

  11. #20

    Quote Originally Posted by Foxyfox View Post
    What would an estp’s issue be if he would message a girl he’s dating and then when she replies he disappears for a day or 2 sometimes 3.. Or he would say he was going to call back in 5 min and wouldn’t call at all.. but he insists he’s crazy about her? (By the way she* doesn’t really care much about it all she’s just curious about this behaviour lol)
    ADD. Lots of EP types including SLEs / ESTPs have it.

    It is also the case that some ESTPs are not above lying and exaggerating to keep someone "on the hook". The heartfelt confessions and promises of these ESTPs are merely means to an end for them.


     
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