Lack of duals and depression

Lack of duals and depression

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This is a discussion on Lack of duals and depression within the Socionics Forum forums, part of the Personality Type Forums category; I read from somewhere that people who lacked duals in their life are more inclined to be depressed as compared ...

  1. #1

    Lack of duals and depression

    I read from somewhere that people who lacked duals in their life are more inclined to be depressed as compared to people who are surrounded by duals in their lives. In other words, people with duals in their lives are more inclined to be emotionally stable, hence, less prone to depression.
    So for those who have a hard time meeting your duals, how do you cope with depression?

    I supposed it would help too if one can meet someone who is strong in using their dual-seeking function, such as your semi-dual/activator/benefactor, but what if you have a hard time meeting them too?
    Last edited by Schizoid; 01-20-2019 at 01:59 AM.



  2. #2

    I've done some volunteering work at a dogs shelter before, but I'm still depressed. :(

    The 9-5 rat race is just too depressing for me. I'm wasting 40 hours a week doing things I hardly care about, when I could actually use those time to contribute to humanity and help needy people instead.

    It seems like the only time I'm able to be happy is when I'm watching videos of people in heaven. I feel so out of place in this world. I've been struggling so much lately. And I'm glad to know that you managed to find something that works for your depression.
    Currently I've been trying out some meditation exercises, but those seems to only work for awhile, and then I'm back to my depressive state again.

    Anyway, I think I'll try your method of keeping myself busy and see how it goes. Thanks for your advice btw :)
    Last edited by Schizoid; 01-20-2019 at 01:11 PM.

  3. #3

    Haha I seriously doubt that. According to socionics tests I'm ENFp or INFj, and both my parents are supposedly my duals and our relationship was in large part conductive to creating my depression/anxieties rather than help them. Because they had no clue how to support me, or even that something was wrong to begin with, when I was a kid. I felt I couldn't communicate with them effectively and I was emotionally neglected, not out of malice but simply because they couldn't fulfill my emotional and intellectual needs. And I still to this day struggle with some remaining effects of their attitudes.

    Socionics type dynamics seem to seriously lack validity.

    You should go for therapy imo.
    DeadOutside thanked this post.

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  5. #4

    I think duals are bs tbh
    Ocean Helm thanked this post.

  6. #5

    Quote Originally Posted by Red Panda View Post
    Haha I seriously doubt that. According to socionics tests I'm ENFp or INFj, and both my parents are supposedly my duals and our relationship was in large part conductive to creating my depression/anxieties rather than help them. Because they had no clue how to support me, or even that something was wrong to begin with, when I was a kid. I felt I couldn't communicate with them effectively and I was emotionally neglected, not out of malice but simply because they couldn't fulfill my emotional and intellectual needs. And I still to this day struggle with some remaining effects of their attitudes.

    Socionics type dynamics seem to seriously lack validity.

    You should go for therapy imo.
    I've seen you around this forum before. You have always strike me as INFj. ISFj could be possible too. Ij temperament and Fi base.
    I don't think ENFp, because I have met a few irl and also online, and I always clashed with them. I don't get along with Ne base. :/
    Sorry to hear about your clashing with your parents, I don't get along with my parents either, I wonder if ages might play a part in this too. Having huge generation gap would make it difficult for two people to have common topics to talk about, regardless of their type. I haven't had the chance to test this theory for duals yet, but I have tested this theory for beneficiary relations. My mom is an ISFj, and I had an ex-friend of mine who is also an ISFj. Both of them are very similar, having strong likes/dislikes about people and things and also quite opinionated and stubborn and fiery-tempered. Despite how both of them share similar types, I actually get along a lot better with my ex-friend than my mom, my ex-friend is only a year older than me, so I have more common topics to talk about with my ex-friend than with my mom. With my ex-friend, we will spend most of our time talking about boys and crushes and relationships. With my mom, she will spend most of her time nagging me about the way I spend my money, and she also wants me to quickly find a boyfriend and settle down and get married soon.

    Oh, and I have gone to therapy too but it doesn't work for me. :/

  7. #6

    Quote Originally Posted by Schizoid View Post
    I've done some volunteering work at a dogs shelter before, but I'm still depressed. :(
    You should volunteer at places that (in)directly help other humans, where there's more human contact; or none at all, so that you process/imagine the benefits on your own.

    The 9-5 rat race is just too depressing for me. I'm wasting 40 hours a week doing things I hardly care about, when I could actually use those time to contribute to humanity and help needy people instead.
    I used to and still do think the same thing almost daily about it being a depressing rat race; but I try to reframe to more of a, how am I improving certain characteristics of myself that were so severely lacking prior; and how can I help lessen the burden for those that tend to support me through thick and thin. I can't really help anybody if I can't help myself; and helping myself isn't as simple as meeting my daily needs, but also future proofing to whatever gen x age.

    It seems like the only time I'm able to be happy is when I'm watching videos of people in heaven.
    When I first read this, I was like whutt??? How to watch heaven people?! BTW out of nowhere, if it's cool with you, I have this video I'd like to be translated that I think you might be able to help with... up for charity? Muh condescending advice does not come without a price!

    I feel so out of place in this world. I've been struggling so much lately.
    There's a thread recently about how you/we make big decisions - that I didn't post in; but aside from some forms of reasoning, I seem to make some decisions if they're supported by unexplained coincidences. Sometimes things line up too well that I think something is trying to get my attention. Maybe you should stop focusing on how out of place you are, and instead start specifically asking for what it is you want. Maybe then your brain will start to recognize when those things seem to present themselves either directly or in periphery. Opposed to the opposite of garbage in, garbage out. i.e. garbage out, garbage in..._.

    Currently I've been trying out some meditation exercises, but those seems to only work for awhile, and then I'm back to my depressive state again.
    I found things like that to be good for relaxing short term, or to know that it's at your disposal when needed at any moment; like if something's triggering you. But at the same time, I think there might be side effects of deep meditation that will fuck with your mind/perspective of the world.

    Anyway, I think I'll try your method of keeping myself busy and see how it goes. Thanks for your advice btw :)
    No worries. If you don't mind can you edit your post to delete my quoted message, and could you not quote this in its entirety either? tnx.x

  8. #7

    I guess I can try volunteering at places with humans too, although my main reason for volunteering at the dogs shelter is because animals reminds me so much of purity, the type of purity that can't be found in this corrupted world out there.
    Although I like people, but I like animals much more, because they have a sort of innocence in them that can't be found in humans.
    When I'm around animals, I don't have to worry about them plotting murders on how to kill me.

    As for asking for what I want, well there is one thing that I find myself craving most, and it's deep connections with people. I'm on the autism spectrum and I often struggle a lot in social situations, but I have basic human needs too such as my need for deep connections with people. But how does one ask this from people? Whenever I meet someone, I'd like to form a deep connection with them, but people aren't interested to get to know me. Other than accepting my fate, what else can I do? If I meet someone new and I tell them this, "Hey, I'd like to become close friends with you!", hearing this from me would only scare them away, so I won't be able to tell them this. I can only hang out with them and wait for those connections to develop, but the sad thing is, society tend to dislike shy and reserved people because they are so uninteresting, so being the uninteresting person I am, most people tend to lose interest in me and stopped hanging out with me after awhile. There are always people who are more outgoing than me and more louder than me, and because I'm not as outgoing and loud as them, I tend to fade into the background a lot.

    And the videos about watching people in heaven, I was referring to the afterlife, the place where humans go to after death. xD
    Life on earth is filled with suffering, but life on heaven on the other hand, it's such a nice place. No suffering at all, only lots of peace and happiness. Although I'm currently on earth, but I often daydreamed life on heaven. I should probably live more on planet earth, but I don't know, the afterlife is too appealing for me and I can't stop thinking about it.
    Oh, and which video do you need my help in translating? I'll see if I can help you translate it. ^^
    There's no free labor in this world, and since you've taken the time to help me out with my issues, it's only fair for me to do some charity work in return, heh. Where's the video??
    Forest Nymph and Anunnaki Spirit thanked this post.

  9. #8
    Unknown


    Quote Originally Posted by Schizoid View Post
    I've done some volunteering work at a dogs shelter before, but I'm still depressed. :(

    The 9-5 rat race is just too depressing for me. I'm wasting 40 hours a week doing things I hardly care about, when I could actually use those time to contribute to humanity and help needy people instead.

    It seems like the only time I'm able to be happy is when I'm watching videos of people in heaven. I feel so out of place in this world. I've been struggling so much lately. And I'm glad to know that you managed to find something that works for your depression.
    Currently I've been trying out some meditation exercises, but those seems to only work for awhile, and then I'm back to my depressive state again.

    Anyway, I think I'll try your method of keeping myself busy and see how it goes. Thanks for your advice btw :)
    Go back to school or get another job. This has nothing to do with "duals" this is you realizing your own mortality and that you're wasting your life serving a capitalist system rather than your true beliefs. Go with something that serves your true beliefs, even if it is a volunteer work at first, get out of your job whatever that looks like.

    Sometimes extreme unhappiness, like physical pain, means something should immediately change. It's not always "let me meditate out of this." Our society is absurd in conditioning to humans to an unnatural capitalist hell, like you're weird or crazy if you don't like it. Wake up. The more of us that do, the more unstable the system will become.
    DeadOutside and Schizoid thanked this post.

  10. #9
    Unknown


    Quote Originally Posted by Schizoid View Post
    I guess I can try volunteering at places with humans too, although my main reason for volunteering at the dogs shelter is because animals reminds me so much of purity, the type of purity that can't be found in this corrupted world out there.
    Although I like people, but I like animals much more, because they have a sort of innocence in them that can't be found in humans.
    When I'm around animals, I don't have to worry about them plotting murders on how to kill me.

    As for asking for what I want, well there is one thing that I find myself craving most, and it's deep connections with people. I'm on the autism spectrum and I often struggle a lot in social situations, but I have basic human needs too such as my need for deep connections with people. But how does one ask this from people? Whenever I meet someone, I'd like to form a deep connection with them, but people aren't interested to get to know me. Other than accepting my fate, what else can I do? If I meet someone new and I tell them this, "Hey, I'd like to become close friends with you!", hearing this from me would only scare them away, so I won't be able to tell them this. I can only hang out with them and wait for those connections to develop, but the sad thing is, society tend to dislike shy and reserved people because they are so uninteresting, so being the uninteresting person I am, most people tend to lose interest in me and stopped hanging out with me after awhile. There are always people who are more outgoing than me and more louder than me, and because I'm not as outgoing and loud as them, I tend to fade into the background a lot.

    And the videos about watching people in heaven, I was referring to the afterlife, the place where humans go to after death. xD
    Life on earth is filled with suffering, but life on heaven on the other hand, it's such a nice place. No suffering at all, only lots of peace and happiness. Although I'm currently on earth, but I often daydreamed life on heaven. I should probably live more on planet earth, but I don't know, the afterlife is too appealing for me and I can't stop thinking about it.
    Oh, and which video do you need my help in translating? I'll see if I can help you translate it. ^^
    There's no free labor in this world, and since you've taken the time to help me out with my issues, it's only fair for me to do some charity work in return, heh. Where's the video??
    If animals remind you of purity, have you considered becoming vegetarian or vegan? It can be a life changing spiritual experience for some individuals.

  11. #10
    Unknown


    Quote Originally Posted by Red Panda View Post
    Haha I seriously doubt that. According to socionics tests I'm ENFp or INFj, and both my parents are supposedly my duals and our relationship was in large part conductive to creating my depression/anxieties rather than help them. Because they had no clue how to support me, or even that something was wrong to begin with, when I was a kid. I felt I couldn't communicate with them effectively and I was emotionally neglected, not out of malice but simply because they couldn't fulfill my emotional and intellectual needs. And I still to this day struggle with some remaining effects of their attitudes.

    Socionics type dynamics seem to seriously lack validity.

    You should go for therapy imo.
    I had a similar experience. I was raised by people strong in Te while I was strong in Fi, even if we weren't exact duals. This actually caused a lot of damage which I will whole-heartedly admit has made me a lot more "interesting" than some of my peers, and I even love these creepy effing people for what they taught me, the world they showed me, I'm so thankful some days not to be a Basic that alone is enough to be happy to be alive....but on the other hand because of Te I spend most of my childhood feeling "safe" and "righteous" and now in my adulthood unfortunately I feel like I chase "safe" and "righteous" which eludes me. I also felt especially judged during my teens, not that anyone's teens are great, but my god I was actually made out to be some kind of crazed sinner by my grandparents, my mother was really amazed, like you were pretty much a good student and a nice girl. That's what I mean by them making me "interesting" but also really making me "miserable." Who are these strangers who made me feel so protected in my childhood? They certainly aren't people who understand me. But my mother doesn't really understand me either, she is more permissive and accepting, but she's also more unsafe and unintentionally dishonest - delusional.

    I think depression is more connected to unfulfilled expression of self than lack of reflection in other people.
    BenevolentBitterBleeding thanked this post.


     
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