Unhealthy Dual Relationships; Is your dual really the best thing for you? - Page 4

Unhealthy Dual Relationships; Is your dual really the best thing for you?

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This is a discussion on Unhealthy Dual Relationships; Is your dual really the best thing for you? within the Socionics Forum forums, part of the Personality Type Forums category; Originally Posted by ColdNobility Where exactly does this come from? Do you have some link/info on this. I wrote that ...

  1. #31

    Quote Originally Posted by ColdNobility View Post
    Where exactly does this come from? Do you have some link/info on this.
    I wrote that from my own experience actually, and also from observing the people around me. I realised that rational subtypes tend to click well with each other, and the same goes for irrational subtypes. I typed myself as IEI-Ni, and I noticed myself clicking much better with SLE-Se as compared to SLE-Ti. In fact, I tend to prefer SLE-Se over SLE-Ti, because the Se subtypes are more in tune with Fe and they tend to come across much more warm and feelerish as compared to the Ti subtypes.
    ColdNobility thanked this post.

  2. #32

    I met a dual recently.
    In life there can be lots of factors working against a relationship. Both people can have mental, physical and trust issues, as well as plenty of external negative factors. And often being a dual means having to understand yourself better in order to understand where the other person is coming from.

    Sometimes the only positive part to the beginning of a relationship with a dual is having a sort of natural compatability. A sort of wierd knowing that its special and worth keeping.

    I think duality can be a lifelong process, with lots of potential for healthy mutual respect. But its definitely not an easy journey, and it won't fix problems for each individual concerned. If anything the duality accentuates the flaws that obstruct things running smoothly, you feel inside the disharmony. People can be very motivated by their duals and I think its great that some people have this affinity with you that can change your perspective and give you the opportunity to change your life for the better.

    My dual and I became close friends despite a myriad of issues. However we aren't talking to each other at the moment because our individual issues became too much. Duality is high stakes, and sometimes good intentions and repartee doesn't mean no growing pains. Both parties got hurt repeatadely. But we kept in contact and kept trying because its a special connection and worth keeping. We aren't talking now, but we will again when we are ready.

    Relationships can come in lots of shapes and sizes, and I think some type combinations are better suited for certain relationships. Duality is the "big" one in socionics. I think if both people involved are ready for the "big" one, willing to work for understanding and external factors aren't too bad, then it has potential to be the happiest and healthiest, albeit in its own way for each of the dual pairs.

  3. #33

    I like your replies the most must be because you're my dual type lol. Yeah my relationship with my dual changed me forever. I dislike him so much now I am repulsed by his memory.. I don't think it was because he was just "unhealthy" I think he was more of a psychopath/ sociopath , but nevertheless his type was my "dual" and the relationship itself was extremely transformative.
    PluckyDucky thanked this post.

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  5. #34

    Quote Originally Posted by TABASCO View Post
    Can Duality be somehow one-sided?
    So one of the people helping the other person but not vice-versa?
    Thatís slightly undiscussed and avoided in Socionics, so itís outside the application of such. If youíre talking about in the real world? Well of course. Thatís a basic premise of people. Each person has their own viewpoints, opinions, likes, life, etc. It would be slightly narcissistic to think otherwise or to try and rationalize away their viewpoints. You could in every fashion consider yourself one type and consider another your dual, but that has absolutely bearing on their own viewpoints about either of you.

  6. #35

    Duality has a lot of potential advantages, but there are many stumbling blocks even here.

    Meeting ones dual can be a terrible experience,
    especially if the introvert is neurotic and the extrovert is hysteric.
    Meaning that all sorts of complexes have to be triggered, just by the others presence.

    Ideally duality would be just be a plug and play usb adapter.
    Unfortunately if things are off, it can be almost impossible to get a connection.

    Duality works best when both parties have a common goal,
    since then they can fill in each others weaknesses.
    People forget the fragmented nature of society and all the different sides one might fall down on.

    Another factor is enneagram type and level of health.
    An Sx/Sp and an So/Sp for example will only really agree on the practicals,
    and cannot really understand the others burning desire for individual or group connection.
    The rest of the enneagram is too complex to throw out valid balanced examples,
    but if one person has a high level of health and the other has a low, there will obviously be a disconnect.
    One in many ways will be on two different vibrational frequencies.
    Without any necessary detours to anything supernatural.
    It is enough to contrast a rich vs poor background.

    Yet another issue is that even duals are unable to naturally respect quadra fear complexs.
    So Alphas don't respect each others fear of being silenced.
    Betas don't respect each others fear of being subservient.
    Gammas don't respect each others fear of having ones hands tied.
    Deltas don't respect each others fear of having ones wings clipped.
    So in many such relations, if they are unlucky, one or both of the parties gets trapped by this complex.
    Making their life a fearful living hell.

    But if the stars align and nothing dumb happens, then it is a match made in heaven.
    The difference with dual and the other relations, is that even if you solve all the above,
    you still have issues, that cannot be solved easily.
    With duality you at least have a shot when it comes to that point.

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