Unhealthy Dual Relationships; Is your dual really the best thing for you?

Unhealthy Dual Relationships; Is your dual really the best thing for you?

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This is a discussion on Unhealthy Dual Relationships; Is your dual really the best thing for you? within the Socionics Forum forums, part of the Personality Type Forums category; When they say your dual is your ideal match, does that mean that you should be happier and healthier in ...

  1. #1

    Unhealthy Dual Relationships; Is your dual really the best thing for you?

    When they say your dual is your ideal match, does that mean that you should be happier and healthier in a dual relationship than any other type of relationship? Or does it just mean that you understand each other better than other type combinations? I am pretty sure the most unhealthy couple that I know and I've been trying to analyze my whole life are in fact each others duals. Can anyone offer any insight?



  2. #2

    Quote Originally Posted by Foxyfox View Post
    When they say your dual is your ideal match, does that mean that you should be happier and healthier in a dual relationship than any other type of relationship? Or does it just mean that you understand each other better than other type combinations? I am pretty sure the most unhealthy couple that I know and I've been trying to analyze my whole life are in fact each others duals. Can anyone offer any insight?
    It means that duals tend to brighten up and soothe each others' moods. Duals can actually help each other to relieve stress.
    If you're having a stressful day at work, just being around your dual is able to help recharge you. With your dual, both of you will be able to be your natural selves around each other, you don't have to change any aspects of yourself when you're around your dual.
    Your dual completely accepts you as who you are.

    I like having a dual nearby me. I often find myself able to open up about my inner feelings whenever I'm around them. If I'm having a tough day at work, I just need to confide in a dual about my tough day at work, and they will start saying things like, "Aww I'm sorry to hear about your tough day at work. Your boss sounds like an asshole. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"

    With other non-dual types, they will start bashing on me and start saying things like, "Stop being a spoilt-brat. Nobody likes their jobs. Everybody hates their job, but people work for money. You just have to suck it up and continue working your job until retirement."

    See the difference here between talking to a dual type vs talking to a non-dual type? Talking to a non-dual type is like talking to a brick of wall.

  3. #3

    And I think subtypes is quite important too when it comes to duality.

    If duals have compatible subtypes, they would find each other interesting and they will be very drawn to each other and they will click with each other very well and get close to each other naturally.
    But if duals have incompatible subtypes, they would have a harder time moving past the acquaintance stage. The extrovert would write off the introvert as "dull and boring", while the introvert would find their extroverted counterpart "too good for them".
    Last edited by Schizoid; 07-18-2019 at 11:05 AM.
    Foxyfox thanked this post.

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  5. #4

    Can Duality be somehow one-sided?
    So one of the people helping the other person but not vice-versa?
    Carla Rose thanked this post.

  6. #5

    Quote Originally Posted by Schizoid View Post
    It means that duals tend to brighten up and soothe each others' moods. Duals can actually help each other to relieve stress.
    I get that feeling around my duals all the time. Since I recently learned how to spot them I look back and the connection or attraction (not just romantic) is definitely undeniable- But I know of a married dual couple who were actually characterized by violent abuse. They ruined each other in every sense of the word. So i'm trying to understand if its only the "ideal match" because they're supposed to understand each other like no other?

  7. #6

    Quote Originally Posted by TABASCO View Post
    Can Duality be somehow one-sided?
    So one of the people helping the other person but not vice-versa?
    Thats actually called the "benefit relationship". It is very frustrating to both parties involved because the "benefactor" won't accept the "help" that the beneficiary tries to naturally offer (since he has no use for it due to the way he's wired and what he wants out of life) and nobody wants to feel useless or not needed in a relationship.
    Alana thanked this post.

  8. #7

    Quote Originally Posted by Foxyfox View Post
    Thats actually called the "benefit relationship". It is very frustrating to both parties involved because the "benefactor" won't accept the "help" that the beneficiary tries to naturally offer (since he has no use for it due to the way he's wired and what he wants out of life) and nobody wants to feel useless or not needed in a relationship.
    So real Duality is always automatically two-sided? And a beneficiary can help the benefactor with their mobilising function though.
    Foxyfox thanked this post.

  9. #8

    Quote Originally Posted by TABASCO View Post
    So real Duality is always automatically two-sided? And a beneficiary can help the benefactor with their mobilising function though.
    Yes sirr.. You can almost feel "the understanding" in your duals eyes when you first meet- Almost at first glance.
    L P and Alana thanked this post.

  10. #9

    Quote Originally Posted by Foxyfox View Post
    I get that feeling around my duals all the time. Since I recently learned how to spot them I look back and the connection or attraction (not just romantic) is definitely undeniable- But I know of a married dual couple who were actually characterized by violent abuse. They ruined each other in every sense of the word. So i'm trying to understand if its only the "ideal match" because they're supposed to understand each other like no other?
    Or could that couple be semi-duals instead? I find myself having these kind of "explosive" relationships with my semi-duals. They have the same dual effect on me, but at the same time, we also seemed to butt heads with each other quite a bit.
    One moment we will fight each other like enemies, and the next moment we became super close again. This is what generally happens when I get too close to a semi-dual. If I'm interacting with my semi-dual at a distance, we actually get along quite well with each other. It's only when we start closing the distance then the "moth-to-flame" effects started happening.
    With duals, things tend to be much calmer and less "explosive". There's totally no psychological gap with them at all. I can get really close to them without ending up in some fights with them. In fact, with duals, we rarely fight with each other, and even if we do, the disagreements doesn't last for long.

    Semi-dual relationships are actually much more "exciting" as compared to dual relationships, given that semi-duals tend to have a slightly larger psychological gap and tend to fight more as compared to duals.
    I would describe dual relationships as "calming and soothing to the soul and that feeling like one has finally come home" and semi-dual relationships as "passionate and exciting and you feel really drawn to them but getting too close to them would result in an emotional roller-coaster and you will get burned by them and then both of you will make up with each other and shortly after both of you would start fighting again then you will end up getting burned again".
    Last edited by Schizoid; 07-18-2019 at 01:20 PM.
    Foxyfox, Carla Rose and L P thanked this post.

  11. #10

    Hmmm so you don’t think it’s possible for duals to have a turmoils relationship?


     
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