I was in high school when I realized I didn't want to go further on that road: college degree, master degree, one of the respectable careers, PhD... It all looked like a big scam. I haven't changed my opinion ever since, but now I'm late on my twenties, and still haven't found something I want to do. There's lots of possibilities nowadays, but I feel stuck between them without nothing actually attracting me away from the void.
Living in a shithole, working when I run out of money, reading all the time, and frying my brain with porn and, occasionally, drugs when I can't stand this anymore. And every alternative presents a bleak future: learning things I don't care about to get certificates? Working meaningless menial jobs for people I despise, since I lack the former?
As for trying something new, I feel dry. There are lots of books about "doing your own thing," becoming an entrepreneur, but I feel out of touch with myself, with my feelings, with my very soul—how could I come up with something innovative, useful, worthy? I feel myself unable to be creative right now.
Sure, in a way there's something I crave: to be left alone, away from most people I know, but "misanthrope" is not a profession, is it? I despair.