every once in a while i do this. i imagine myself and the world being sick. everyone is a monster to some extent and some of us eventually reform into a new beginning. we just exist, but we also actualize our ideas of the way people are and the world lives in harmony with it. the moment of transcension comes here, but it's just my imagination; every element of my existence is combined, it happens impetuously beyond reason, i'm becoming whole and i'm not compelled anymore to do anything for the world. maybe i go through pain, but i save myself and everyone is still in hate. a disorder in hate which i am one of the few to be extracted from and given to myself the same life over and over again, but i'm alone and i can only help myself for people to see that. i save people who may not save me, then withdrawal into solitude because i've failed and become like them.
it's like a movie in my head, sometimes i'm in it or i see myself in it. i'm usually frightened and near the end i'm brave, in a tired way. after i'm done it's not real anymore and it's hard to regain how i was during the imagination