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Listen guys I need a team meeting here.

I keep making that old mistake of falling to hard to fast for people I show an interest in. It's getting to the point where it has happened 1 to many times and I feel jaded.

So I could do with a bit of a hug and a little advice if you have any I'd deeply appreciate it.

Long story short, me and a cracking girl hit it off for 4 months as friends then just before christmas I hinted at taking it further to which she went quiet. Now she's back with a bf and is too busy to spend time with me like we used to and I just feel meh.

Like I say , one too many time and I could do with you guys helping me out. Looks like we'll still be friends but nothing like before.
 

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*Gives huge reassuring hug*
I know how you feel. I used to have what I call 'Bella Swan Syndrome' which is a pathological desire to be in a relationship because it's the thing, and between the age of 13 and 16 I used to fall head over heels for any girl who showed the slightest bit of interest in me. But, since I'm only 5'7" and as skinny as a bag full of coat-hangers, all of these girls rejected me and made me feel depressed and unloved. The way I coped with this was to change my needy attitude and become fiercely independent and capable (and this was before I discovered that I was asexual and aromantic).
 
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Discussion Starter #3
*Gives huge reassuring hug*
I know how you feel. I used to have what I call 'Bella Swan Syndrome' which is a pathological desire to be in a relationship because it's the thing, and between the age of 13 and 16 I used to fall head over heels for any girl who showed the slightest bit of interest in me. But, since I'm only 5'7" and as skinny as a bag full of coat-hangers, all of these girls rejected me and made me feel depressed and unloved. The way I coped with this was to change my needy attitude and become fiercely independent and capable (and this was before I discovered that I was asexual and aromantic).
Thanks for taking the time to reply A.J.

I to am independent but everything just seemed to line up you know what I mean.

Maybe I should just become detached...I look around at a lot of relationships and see angst and drama then think, man what does it say about me if I can't compete with that?

Crazy days I tell you.
 

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*INFP hug coming your way!*

I've been in love a few times. Always one sided love, my crush never loved me back. It is shit, but you can't make someone love you.

These 'setbacks' made me totally relaxed about not having relationship. At the moment I am very happy with my single life, so I don't really see the need for that to change. But but but. I refuse to believe that there is nobody out there for me! I am just not actively pursuing that special someone. When I meet this person, great! If we do not meet, so be it...wasn't meant to be.

So don't become detached. You might not meet your soulmate if you become detached. Wouldn't that be a shame?
 
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Discussion Starter #8
*INFP hug coming your way!*

I've been in love a few times. Always one sided love, my crush never loved me back. It is shit, but you can't make someone love you.

These 'setbacks' made me totally relaxed about not having relationship. At the moment I am very happy with my single life, so I don't really see the need for that to change. But but but. I refuse to believe that there is nobody out there for me! I am just not actively pursuing that special someone. When I meet this person, great! If we do not meet, so be it...wasn't meant to be.

So don't become detached. You might not meet your soulmate if you become detached. Wouldn't that be a shame?
Thats a gd point. Guess I need to trust life a little more.

Might need to embrace it a little more.
 

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Like Yippy said, if it doesn't work out you can almost frame it so that you can be thankful you didn't waste eachother's time. Sure, as INFPs it can take time to get over stuff like this, but you will, and you will find someone else eventually. :)

A lot of people say they only found their partners once they stopped searching and focused on doing what they enjoyed. Which seems to make sense to me, while doing what you enjoy you usually give off a more confident, happy vibe. Because you are actually enjoying life more! haha

EDIT: Almost forgot to give you a hug *hugs*
 
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Like Yippy said, if it doesn't work out you can almost frame it so that you can be thankful you didn't waste eachother's time. Sure, as INFPs it can take time to get over stuff like this, but you will, and you will find someone else eventually. :)

A lot of people say they only found their partners once they stopped searching and focused on doing what they enjoyed. Which seems to make sense to me, while doing what you enjoy you usually give off a more confident, happy vibe. Because you are actually enjoying life more! haha

EDIT: Almost forgot to give you a hug *hugs*
 

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*big ol' fat hug*

Unfortunately, I haven't really any advice - not yet, anyway. I'd need more details such as what kind of things you say, why you might think it's okay to say those things, etc. I think I truly know how you feel, though. I've been that way quite a few times with guys. = /

And, for what it's worth, I'm really into your avi.
 
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Discussion Starter #12
*big ol' fat hug*

Unfortunately, I haven't really any advice - not yet, anyway. I'd need more details such as what kind of things you say, why you might think it's okay to say those things, etc. I think I truly know how you feel, though. I've been that way quite a few times with guys. = /



And, for what it's worth, I'm really into your avi.
Much appreciated!
 

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@OP - I've always been like this too, and now that i'm single again I noticed my brain trying to pull off the same trick again on me. It's stupid and I don't want to be like this again. Problem is that I just need someone to be crazy about to pour my heart and soul into, so that I don't have to think about my own lack of passion, hobbies, ambition and fulfilment issues. I hate the idea of living for myself and having to make myself happy through my own actions only. Boringggg, pointlesss ... or at least thats how that feels to me.
 
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