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    Votes: 1 10.0%
  • ๐——) ๐—”๐—น๐—น ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—ฏ๐—ผ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ, ๐—ถ๐˜ ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฑ๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ด๐—ต

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  • other, specify.......

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  • F) Try to listen/understand what they're trying to tell. Re-sentence in a less rude manner....

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • G) Be someone worthy of respect.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
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INTJ8w9โญโญโญโญโญ๐ŸŒ€๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ–ค๐Ÿ–ค๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿค๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿงก๐Ÿงกโคโœช๐—ฆ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—น๐——๐—˜๐—™๐—˜๐—ก๐——๐—˜๐—ฅ๐—ฆ๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ๐Ÿ•๐—โ™กโšแ’แ‘Œแ”•T แ—ชO YOแ‘Œแ–‡ แ—ทEแ”•T!โšก
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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
(๏ฟฝ_๏ฟฝ)

883214
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You kindly ask the child to stop and explain why.
 
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E) None of the above (other, specify)
F) Try to listen/understand what they're trying to tell. Re-sentence in a less rude manner so that they learn how to express themselves more smoothly.
G) Be someone worthy of respect.

signed: A mentor who used to be a disrespectful kid.
 

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Use swear words. Make fun o' scallywags wit' 'em. Let 'em do sports like wrestlin'. Let 'em annoy other sprogs. Ye gotta let 'em enjoy their age 'n let the sprogs play.
 

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I have a 3 step program for discipline.

Step 1. The talk. I'll ask them what happened. Why they were being out of line. What they're trying to achieve. Do they feel mistreated? As many relevant questions as possible. If what they're trying to achieve is reasonable, I'll offer them an alternative method and help them practice. If it's not reasonable, I'll explain why I think it's not reasonable and ask for their opinion. We'll have a back and forth, go off on random tangents, come back to the topic, and go on like this until we come to an understanding. At this point, we'll make a promise that they will try handle things differently in the future, and I won't get mad if they mess up as long as they are genuinely trying.

Step 2. The silent treatment. If step 1 failed multiple times, we move onto step 2. I'll let the kid know that I won't be talking to or playing with them for a specific period of time. Any attempt to get my attention through more misbehaviour will increase this period of time. After it's over and they've improved their behaviour, I'll talk and play with them as normal.

Step 3. The smack. If neither step has worked and the kid is still unruly, it's time for step 3. Now, I normally don't advise people with smacking their kids. Most people do it completely wrong. There are rules to this. Rule number 1: It must not cause injury. Rule number 2: It must not cause pain. Rule number 3: It must not be on the face/head or any fragile part of the body. Rule number 4: It cannot be emotional.

Smacking a child should be no different in terms of applied force to a gentle tap on their shoulder when you want their attention. Because that's the whole point of it. To get their attention and for them to understand that you are unhappy. It works on an instinctive level. If you bring pain and emotional volatility into the picture, it will distract them from this instinct and you will not get a positive reaction from them. At best they will hate you and at worst they will fear you. If however you send the instinctive message without any emotion or pain, they will love and respect you instead. This used to be the only step in my discipline repertoire. It has always put an end to any and all misbehaviour instantly. I came up with the first and second steps after my partner expressed a strong dislike for the third step. Step 1 is incredibly time consuming, but it's actually worth it because you get to really know your kid, they way he thinks, his values, and sometimes you'll even realise that they weren't the villain they initially appeared to be. Step 2 is really hard on me, but it's effectiveness is reasonably high.

Now there's also an unnumbered step that's more effective than all of the above combined. The example. Kids are amazing at copying the behaviour of the adults around them. Treat them respectfully and they are a lot more likely to try and do the same. When you get angry or emotional, control your emotions and walk away when it's too much. They'll likely to cope with their emotions the way you cope with your own. Ask for their advice on things, and when they have good ideas, implement their advice. They'll be a lot more receptive to your ideas when they know you're receptive to their ideas.
 

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You avoid violence by all means, not only physical but allso psychological abuse! Things that doesn't seem scary for you can feel very scary for a child and harm them for life! The memories doesn't fade with time, and your child may never forgive you, even if they claim so. Violence causes unhealthy low self esteem and can cause lack of engadement with the world even after a lifetime of therapy. There is NEVER a situation that is so bad that it requires violent treatment!
 

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Firm words/actions in a safe environment.
It really depends upon age, also; an older child (e.g. 7 or 8) might be better suited, and ready for, a discussion;
whereas a toddler might receive a timeout/physical restraint (such as being held in one's lap) until
they can calm themselves down.
I'd never harm a child, but I wouldn't allow a screaming tantrum to carry on in the middle of the grocery
store, church, library, etc. The child isn't allowed to rule the household or continually display inappropriate behavior.
Children need safety, in addition to obvious boundaries.
 

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If the rude kid is not my kid, and is not the child of a close friend, I avoid them at all costs, because behind every blatantly rude and disrespectful kid is an enabling parent who will go postal on you for trying to correct their kid, and when I say "correct their kid", I don't mean fuss at or anything, basically just saying "You're not allowed to swing on that where are your parents?". I've had this actually happen to me while working in retail. I worked at a Dollar Tree where the kids would treat the rack for the shopping carts like it was a jungle gym while their parents couldn't make the minimum effort to keep an eye on them. The kids weren't even rude, just undisciplined. Couldn't imagine the kind of horrors coming out of the parent of a blatantly rude child: that rudeness has to come from somewhere.
 

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You avoid violence by all means, not only physical but allso psychological abuse! Things that doesn't seem scary for you can feel very scary for a child and harm them for life! The memories doesn't fade with time, and your child may never forgive you, even if they claim so. Violence causes unhealthy low self esteem and can cause lack of engadement with the world even after a lifetime of therapy. There is NEVER a situation that is so bad that it requires violent treatment!
This is essentially why I'm often hesitant about advising parents to smack their children. Most people just don't get how it's supposed to be done. I can explain it. I can demonstrate it. They can act like they get it in the moment. Next thing you know, a few days later they still hold the belief that smacking only works if it hurts. And then I wonder why they came to me for help in the first place.
 

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U find another kid stronger than the disrespectful kid then get the stronger kid to fight the disrespectful kid. Then you show that you're stronger than the stronger kid and thus the pecking order is established and there will be respect.
 

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I don't deal with kids on a regular basis, therefore, I don't care.
 
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Send them to boarding school.
 
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Largely depends on cause of the mischief/disrespect, context, child (i.e. age, etc).

Some kids for example can be disrespectful because that's the only way they know to get attention.
Then you have to teach then alternative ways -- even better if parents partake.
If there's a reason - and you can figure it out - it's possible to correct in a positive manner.

Like Eugenia said, firm words and actions, too.
I also believe being someone worthy of respect. (partially demanding it, really, as a form of boundary)
 
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I agree with a lot of solutions for what others have stated already. Is this my child or someone else's?

I have seen some unhealthy parenting from both sexes but, the main two who had the most disrespectful/troubled children were an/are-
ENFJ female and an INFJ female. Uphill battle for the ENFJ's husband(now ex) and not sure if the INFJ's tries to correct it or is part of the problem.

Both made their children responsible for their emotions and used them as pawns at their convenience in negative manners for adult situations/environments = They act like immature/tacky adults. It is pretty disgusting results. Let kids be kids. You are their support system not the other way around is the way I look at it. That has been a tricky/weird one to figure out. The parents are at fault for the behavior but, the child/children are the ones exhibiting it. Confronting either seems pointless. I tried to reason with the ENFJ because, we were close friends at one point. Her sons are 19 and 20 something now. INFJ's are pre-teen/teens and not sure of ages but, I am not close to her at all. ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ And people wonder why boys(and girls) do not act like stand up men or women later in life. sighs
 
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