Personality Cafe banner

1 - 17 of 17 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
728 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Why do some INFP's idealize people we barely know? Why are we always dreaming of a romantic relationship as an "only if..."? How can we get off this unreasonably cruel roller coaster of attraction and at least get on a somewhat lasting intimacy ferris wheel (or Gravitron!)? #:p
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,803 Posts
I'm the same way sometimes. I can fall into what I think is love, for like a month, then not see them for 3 weeks and not care. Or maybe they told me to stop calling them at night so I instantly got pissed off and fell out of love.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
530 Posts
Do you find it hard to express your feelings out? Because it's a problem with me and I guess a lot of us feel the same way too. :/

As for losing interest, once I'm attracted to someone, it'll be a very long one... the kind that last for years. The problem is that I don't express my feelings so I'll never know what will turn out of it, even if the other party is someone close to you. But I can never have enough willpower to make the first move.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
728 Posts
Discussion Starter #6
I just get afraid of how easily I crush on people, and then become unattracted as soon as we get close, and its not lust so much as personality and understanding. What do you mean wouldn't happen candyman?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,676 Posts
I don't fall in love with strangers, ever. I may fantasize, but it's usually someone I know little enough for him/her to still be a blank slate, but not enough for it to affect the fantasy. Most of my fantasies though tend to occur after I know the person fairly well, after I start liking them for who they are and not who I think they are.

I don't know if I fall out of love easily, because I don't know what "easy" means. Do I turn into an absolute mess and refuse to get out of bed for days? No. I do think about them very often though. I still think about my past relationships even though more than a year and a half has passed, of course I don't think of them in a positive/longing way, more in terms of what happened. I'm a very past oriented person. I guess I get heartbroken in my own way.
 

·
MOTM June 2012
Joined
·
9,333 Posts
I fall hard, but it takes a long time for me to let go once it's over. It's something I've been working on though, and something I need to get under control because otherwise it's too painfull.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
77 Posts
I just get afraid of how easily I crush on people, and then become unattracted as soon as we get close, and its not lust so much as personality and understanding. What do you mean wouldn't happen candyman?
This is me exactly, it doesn't take long for me to realise I'm not actually in love, at which point I try to break it off (nicely of course) before I'm trapped :p
I think its a fear of being stuck in a relationship that doesn't meet up with my ideals, which I know are ridiculous anyway.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
208 Posts
I easily crush on people I hardly know. And I know that I don't actually like the person as much as the idea of being with them, if that makes any sense. But those "crushes" last very, very long. At least several months, maybe a year or more. The people I crush on are usually very different from me and they are people I, when I'm honest with myself, can't see myself even being friends with, although I'd like to. So I guess mostly they have a very different personality type, a different way of life and thinking. And that intrigues me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,081 Posts
Ya, I crush a lot.

Its mostly on the idea of them. I start picturing them in my future and my imagination takes me on this journey where we are soul mates and meant to be. Sometimes I keep myself in the honeymoon phase not realizing the red flags right away and then....

REALITY STRIKES!

Depending on how strong the connection was and how much I cared will determine how long it takes me to get over said crush. It could be less than a day to many years. (The years one only happened once in my lifetime)

It also depends on if said person keeps trying to pull me back in. smh

Eventually in the end I move on and feel great because I learned something about myself that I only could of learned with that experience.

Wisdom is an amazing gift to say the least.

To all the A-holes...thank you! You have been the best teachers yet...(Haven't dealt with many A-holes though. Just felt like typing that :p )
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
25 Posts
Hmm.. I guess I could say that I do have crushes rather often. Maybe that is because I have a constant urge of "being in love" so you could even say, that I start crushing on someone not only 'cause I like that person, but also 'cause I love being "in love with love" XD.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
543 Posts
Nope, I've only ever been in love with one person, and I still love him. I've had crushes and such on people, but never loved them like I love him. We have been together for over a year, and my love only grows :p
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
724 Posts
i'm actually exactly the opposite- i do not fall in love easily. i also do not fall out of love easily. in fact, i can't say that i've ever completely gotten over anyone who i've truly been in love with.
 
1 - 17 of 17 Posts
Top