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Can you guess my type from life questions?

Hey, everyone! I've been reading a lot about the enneagram the past months, but I'm not sure about my type. Could you help type me? Thanks in advance! :proud:

Think over the past day or week and make a mental list (you can also write it here) of ways other people have annoyed, angered, or otherwise bothered you - any situation where people have done one thing, while you wished they would have done another. Look at each of these instances and answer (you can make a list or make note of general patterns - an example is good):
It really annoys me when people complain and complain and complain about their sad hopeless life.

a. How would I characterize the trait that bothered me?
b. Why did it bother me?
If people are really upset by something, they should try to solve it or atleast try to be more positive instead of just looking at the dark side of everything.
c. How did I react?
When people I'm close with do this, I try to give them possible solutions for them to solve the problem and/or give some other possible ways of looking at the problem. If I get extremely annoyed I just let them talk and don't say anything.
d. How do I wish I would have reacted?
Maybe give more emotional support
e. If there was a discrepancy between c. and d., why did it come up?
I can't agree with what the person is saying or be complacent with their negative view, so I can't pretent to.

3. What holds you back in life? This can be an internal or external force. If that thing were gone, what would be different? What would you do?
Fear of failure, I would make the first move a lot more on relationships, projects, etc.

4. Your deepest secret has just been revealed to the person or people from whom you most wished to keep it. How do you feel? How do you react? What are the results on your life?
I feel guilty, like I'm a bad person and I failed and betrayed someone's trust. I can't imagine how I would react. I think it would ruin my relationship.

5. You are offered one of three gifts: a bottle filled with water from the Fountain of Life, a crown which will give you peaceful dominion over the world's people for your entire (full) lifetime, and a ring which will unite you with your true love and ensure a happy, passionate marriage. Which do you choose and why? What are your hesitations and motivations?
I would choose the ring. I think about love as the foundation for everything else to go smoothly, if there's no love, nothing can make me happy.

6. You are offered one of three houses. The first is located in a big city and has historic and artistic value: it was designed by a great architect and was owned by interesting people in the past. Owning this house is very prestigious and guarantees you social status and a circle of friends, but it also comes with responsibility - you must keep the house up to code, manage the household, and give parties and events. The second house you may design using your imagination - literally your dream house - it is located in a very secluded location and no one is allowed to visit this house except you and your immediate family. The third house is very nice, but has no particular aesthetic appeal - a McMansion in short. It is in an extremely convenient location and is very secure. It is impossible for thieves to break in and it has no danger of natural disasters. You are guaranteed to be able to sell the house for double the price in twenty years. Which do you choose and why? What are your hesitations and motivations?
I would choose the second house, because I could choose its design and I think having a confortable peaceful and beautiful house can help wounders in everything else. My immediate family are the people I mostly wish to be able to visit me at my home so that would be fine.

8. What do you wish people understood about you? Talk about a time you were misunderstood.
That I deeply care. Sometimes, I get deffensive because I feel attacked and I react by attacking back, which leads times in relationships. Most of the times, this doesn't actually break my relatinships because I can quite easily say I shouldn't have acted the way I did.

9. What do you hope people won't notice about you?
I hope people won't notice that I don't trust myself a lot.
What are you uncomfortable being teased about?
I don't think there's anything you should be afraid of being teased about if you have enough inner strength, security and trust deep in yourself (even though it's not that easy to act this way, I'm becoming more and more confident each day and this is actually becoming my motto)

10. What's worse - to be seen as caring more than you do or less than you do? Why? Do you typically pretend to care more or to care less?
It's worse to be seen as caring less than I do, because I like people to notice and feel happy / grateful when I help them, it makes me feel as I'm actually helping and making a difference. Sometimes, I slightly pretend to care more so that people can feel loved, cared after and supported, and have the strength to improve (instead of just criticizing whatever it is).

11. Think about a time that someone else tried to control your actions - to tell you what to do, to manipulate you, or influence you. How did you feel and how did you react? What went through your mind?
I dislike being told what to do, it makes me feel like the person is imposing their ideas into me, it gives me even more confidence and strength to do as I want to and not as they're saying (or I suddently BECOME confident, it's like it sparkles action). I feel being taken advange of.

12. When you first meet someone, what are your first thoughts? What judgments do you make and what kinds of considerations do you have? Are you more concerned with what they think of you or what you think of them? If you are preparing to meet someone new, what do you hope about them and what do you fear about them?
First thoughts are do check if they look shallow or to care solely about appearances and not the real well being and if they're fun and easy to talk to. More concerned with what they think of me. While preparing to meet someone new, I hope they are sensitive, easy going and nice, I fear they are rude.

13. Think about the last time you cried (if you've recently lost a loved one or gone through another similarly difficult experience, you can go back further and choose a random instance). What caused this? Who was around? Were you crying out of sadness, joy, frustration, or some other factor? How did you feel afterwards? Did it change anything? Is this typical for you?
I thought my significant other didn't love me anymore and was beginning to walk away. I was by myself. Crying out of fear of her leaving me. Afterwards, I felt like I have to care more about myself and have a love foundation in myselft instead of in my lover. It's very typical for me to cry because of this when my love acts distant.

14. Think about the last time you felt really happy, joyful, or satisfied. What caused this feeling? What was different?
When I am able to state my opinions, be light, act and talk peacefully without having to second thought everything before saying it or even stop myself from saying it at all. I felt socially competent and confident in myself. What keeps you from feeling this way all the time?
Being afraid of not being taken seriously / being seen as trying too much and not having the ability to properly act / communicate.

16. Think over the past day or week and make a mental list (you can also write it here) of ways that you have done badly - by yourself, by others, etc. - any time that you have done something, and wish you would have done better. How would you characterize these instances? What caused you to fail and what was your reaction?
I acted "superior", rude and not comprehensible at all. I do this when I feel like people attack me, state something bad about myself, I feel like attacked.
Are you more likely to be hard on yourself or to find excuses for yourself?
I'm more likely to be hard on myself when it comes to personal relationships, I always tend to think everyhthing's my fault and I ruined the relationship. When it comes to work, I'm confident: if I fail, I admit it and don't feel bad: I just have to be better next time

17. a. Imagine meeting an evil version of yourself - your 'dark side' - and describe this person.
Not caring about anyone's feelings, yelling and being rude to everyone, make people feel bad when they do me wrong; steping on other people's way to get what I want.

b. Describe your ideal self.
Peaceful, understanding, present, heartfull, communicative, loyal, assertive.

18. What is your experience with and how do you deal with the following:
a. loneliness
I fear it, it gives me feelings of depression.
b. doubt
I doubt myself and other people a lot.
c. boredom
I feel boredom when I feel useless.
d. laziness
I'm very lazy when it comes to studying, starting school assignments, cleaning the bedroom (getting better at this, I'm making my bed and cleaning my bedroom almost everyday now because I feel really bad if I live in chaos: when my room's a mess I don't spend time in it and always go to another more organized place).
e. temper
Sometimes I lose my temper when I feel attacked by other people. Afterwards I feel bad and apologize.

19. Which of the 'seven deadly sins' - pride, wrath, sloth, envy, lust, gluttony, avarice - do you relate to most and why? Which do you relate to least and why? Feel free to go into depth about these.
I relate most to envy, sometimes I feel like some people might have something I lack, and I guess I could say I envy them. I relate least to pride or lust.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
100% not an 8. I get strong 1 vibes from your writing with some 3 and 7 sprinkled in.
Thank you for your input! I can see the 1, because of my fear of failure, I always want to be the best possible, and sometimes i don't even act or start because of fear of not reaching that perfection level I have in my head. I have never really considered being a 3 and even less a 7, I found your input very interesting, can you explain where you saw these? Thank you so much!
 

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Thank you for your input! I can see the 1, because of my fear of failure, I always want to be the best possible, and sometimes i don't even act or start because of fear of not reaching that perfection level I have in my head. I have never really considered being a 3 and even less a 7, I found your input very interesting, can you explain where you saw these? Thank you so much!
Crippling fear of failure is commonly associated with type 3.

Reframing things in a positive light is commonly associated with 7.
 

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Crippling fear of failure is commonly associated with type 3.

Reframing things in a positive light is commonly associated with 7.
I can definitely see that, never thought about it before... Especially 7, is starting to resonate. I normally always see the bright side about everything and it annoys me so much when people are negative and complain all the time, things are a lot easier than some people make it. I do fear not being as good as I know I am, or doing something and looking ridiculous because it shows I'm trying too much (like being a fraud) but that's becoming less and less frequent each day for the last half year. I'm moving towards a more healthy level, so the previous stages were probably what was confusing me in typing myself. I now trust myself more, am assertive, and absolutely love appreciating the present moment, observing nature, feeling gratitude for what i have in my life, feeling at peace.
 

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The first few lines pretty much discard 4 lol.

I’m seeing either 1 or 6. Especially the latter.

Guilt, procrastination, trust and doubt (both about the self and others), very sensitive to criticism, hints at a connection to 3 and 9, all the flags are there lol.

No Eight would feel vulnerability and doubt as you do, much less admit it. Don’t see anything Four in there apart from a brief and rather superficial mention of envy. One is possible I guess with the superego influence, but they don’t typically struggle with self-control and laziness since they’re so conscientious.

Yep, I’m going with Six here. The fact that you brought up the two other types of the reactive triad and a superego one makes sense.

Edit: Read this: https://oceanmoonshine9.wordpress.com/sixes/
 

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[/I][/B]It really annoys me when people complain and complain and complain about their sad hopeless life.

why? i'd like to hear your answer before i make assumptions

If people are really upset by something, they should try to solve it or atleast try to be more positive instead of just looking at the dark side of everything.
c. How did I react?
When people I'm close with do this, I try to give them possible solutions for them to solve the problem and/or give some other possible ways of looking at the problem. If I get extremely annoyed I just let them talk and don't say anything.
d. How do I wish I would have reacted?
Maybe give more emotional support
e. If there was a discrepancy between c. and d., why did it come up?
I can't agree with what the person is saying or be complacent with their negative view, so I can't pretent to.

these answers seem like type 4

3. What holds you back in life? This can be an internal or external force. If that thing were gone, what would be different? What would you do?
Fear of failure, I would make the first move a lot more on relationships, projects, etc.

fear of failure is classically a 3 thing, but type 4's experience this in their own way ...


4. Your deepest secret has just been revealed to the person or people from whom you most wished to keep it. How do you feel? How do you react? What are the results on your life?
I feel guilty, like I'm a bad person and I failed and betrayed someone's trust. I can't imagine how I would react. I think it would ruin my relationship.

why would you tell secrets about someone?

I would choose the ring. I think about love as the foundation for everything else to go smoothly, if there's no love, nothing can make me happy.

i see type 4 in this answer too, SX instinct is my hunch. youve mentioned significance of relationship in the last few answers


I would choose the second house, because I could choose its design and I think having a confortable peaceful and beautiful house can help wounders in everything else. My immediate family are the people I mostly wish to be able to visit me at my home so that would be fine.

mention of beauty, selection of most isolated and imaginative/creative house... type 4 answer

8. What do you wish people understood about you? Talk about a time you were misunderstood.
That I deeply care. Sometimes, I get deffensive because I feel attacked and I react by attacking back, which leads times in relationships. Most of the times, this doesn't actually break my relatinships because I can quite easily say I shouldn't have acted the way I did.

fours are deeply emotional

I hope people won't notice that I don't trust myself a lot.
why?


[/I][/B]I don't think there's anything you should be afraid of being teased about if you have enough inner strength, security and trust deep in yourself (even though it's not that easy to act this way, I'm becoming more and more confident each day and this is actually becoming my motto)
maaaaybe a wing 3

[/I][/B]It's worse to be seen as caring less than I do, because I like people to notice and feel happy / grateful when I help them, it makes me feel as I'm actually helping and making a difference. Sometimes, I slightly pretend to care more so that people can feel loved, cared after and supported, and have the strength to improve (instead of just criticizing whatever it is).

very 4 answer...
would like to be seen as more caring than they actually are (meaning they fear they actually arent)
wants people to be grateful for them/their image/illusion of caring (very loki like)
4 like, unique in a sense - wants the gratitude first, so it knows its illusion has been successful
pretends to care - acting
sometimes pretends, implying mostly criticizes weakness ... very 4


I dislike being told what to do, it makes me feel like the person is imposing their ideas into me, it gives me even more confidence and strength to do as I want to and not as they're saying (or I suddently BECOME confident, it's like it sparkles action). I feel being taken advange of.

is upset when its ideas are imposed upon. very four imo, which wants (self viewed) pureness of itself (narcissist tendency) expressed through some kind of art usually

four demands creative/idea freedom

First thoughts are do check if they look shallow or to care solely about appearances and not the real well being and if they're fun and easy to talk to. More concerned with what they think of me. While preparing to meet someone new, I hope they are sensitive, easy going and nice, I fear they are rude.
as in all reflections, the shallow wants to see itself first, appearances, mention of 'real' (four wants its image to be real)
why do you want someone to be sensitive?
why are you afraid of rudeness?

I thought my significant other didn't love me anymore and was beginning to walk away. I was by myself. Crying out of fear of her leaving me. Afterwards, I felt like I have to care more about myself and have a love foundation in myselft instead of in my lover. It's very typical for me to cry because of this when my love acts distant.
seems like a fourish projection imo...
when you are afraid of your lover leaving, do you go to them? or do you expect/want them to come to you, often resulting in extended 'silent treatment' episodes?

Being afraid of not being taken seriously / being seen as trying too much and not having the ability to properly act / communicate.
fear of insignificance of image/act
trying too much? trying (to act) at all is definitely in the image triad

]I acted "superior", rude and not comprehensible at all. I do this when I feel like people attack me, state something bad about myself, I feel like attacked.
very four - drama king like

I'm more likely to be hard on myself when it comes to personal relationships, I always tend to think everyhthing's my fault and I ruined the relationship. When it comes to work, I'm confident: if I fail, I admit it and don't feel bad: I just have to be better next time
fours are very hard on themselves ... very very very very very.... etc etc... beyond a point of pragmatic use and into disintegration

Not caring about anyone's feelings, yelling and being rude to everyone, make people feel bad when they do me wrong; steping on other people's way to get what I want.
yes... very 4... seems... over dramatic, angsty, pubescent and juvenile

Peaceful, understanding, present, heartfull, communicative, loyal, assertive.

beautiful! :)
very four
<3


18. What is your experience with and how do you deal with the following:
a. loneliness
I fear it, it gives me feelings of depression.
b. doubt
I doubt myself and other people a lot.
c. boredom
I feel boredom when I feel useless.
d. laziness
I'm very lazy when it comes to studying, starting school assignments, cleaning the bedroom (getting better at this, I'm making my bed and cleaning my bedroom almost everyday now because I feel really bad if I live in chaos: when my room's a mess I don't spend time in it and always go to another more organized place).
e. temper
Sometimes I lose my temper when I feel attacked by other people. Afterwards I feel bad and apologize.

seems to all line up with 4... depression triad, procrastination/distaste for nearly all things 'practical', rather than cleaning the dirty room , goes somewhere else...


I relate most to envy, sometimes I feel like some people might have something I lack, and I guess I could say I envy them. I relate least to pride or lust.
textbook four answer

final analysis report *bleep bloop bleep bloop errr errrrr gshsssssshk ching*

type 4w3 SX, sp
 

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Thank you for your long analysis!

[/I][/B]It really annoys me when people complain and complain and complain about their sad hopeless life.

why? i'd like to hear your answer before i make assumptions
Like I said before on a previous reply (you can check it if you want to, it's on this post) I think that to complain and not do anything to try to solve the problem, simply won't be any useful... People could talk about more positive stuff, such as projects, life views. What I mean is, life isn't perfect but we can try and do our best with what we have, complaining won't do any help. It annoys me a lot when people complain and don't seem willing to change anything in their behaviour and will only blame outside forces (people, events, etc) without looking at themselves as well.

I hope people won't notice that I don't trust myself a lot.
Because I want to be seen as competent and I believe I am, the problem is my fear of failing.

why do you want someone to be sensitive?
why are you afraid of rudeness?
I care about people's feelings and well being. Rude people usually just criticize and don't want to hear anyone else's inputs, they only care about themselves.

when you are afraid of your lover leaving, do you go to them? or do you expect/want them to come to you, often resulting in extended 'silent treatment' episodes?
I always go to them, to check if they are really leaving, by observing their replies and behaviours. I never give any silent treatment in complicated situations, I just can't, because all I want is to solve the problem and decide if it is the end or not. What kills me is the anxiety of not knowing where they stand, so i absolutely can't sit still: always checking the phone for any reply, overthinking in my mind everything I said, what they might be thinking, etc until I get a positive reply and feel better (I'm in a long distance relationship, we only see each other once a week, and sometimes go a month without being together).

Being afraid of not being taken seriously / being seen as trying too much and not having the ability to properly act / communicate.
fear of insignificance of image/act
trying too much? trying (to act) at all is definitely in the image triad
What happens a lot of times is not even acting out of fear of looking like im trying too hard and look like a failure.

very four - drama king like
I'm a female btw, but i take it.
 

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Strong type 4
 

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Like I said before on a previous reply (you can check it if you want to, it's on this post) I think that to complain and not do anything to try to solve the problem, simply won't be any useful... People could talk about more positive stuff, such as projects, life views. What I mean is, life isn't perfect but we can try and do our best with what we have, complaining won't do any help. It annoys me a lot when people complain and don't seem willing to change anything in their behaviour and will only blame outside forces (people, events, etc) without looking at themselves as well.
yeah i get that, i meant to put emphasis on 'about their sad hopeless life' specifically. you highlighted that as opposed to say 'complain about work' or 'complain about an injury' or 'complain about their toothache'

i agree, btw...complaining doesnt help the problem directly , but some people need to complain before they can move through an issue. its just the way it is. it helps some people process. for example Te users. high Te users will even talk to themselves just to process :p


Because I want to be seen as competent and I believe I am, the problem is my fear of failing.
this is ok. you will find something you are competent in (if you havent already). fear is ok and failing is ok. neither will kill you :)

type 4 can be quite fearless when its ready

I care about people's feelings and well being. Rude people usually just criticize and don't want to hear anyone else's inputs, they only care about themselves.
type 4 is really into 'etiquette' i'd say
it bothers you that other people are so open and freely/publicly care about themselves... but you also care about yourself, im sure :)

I always go to them, to check if they are really leaving, by observing their replies and behaviours. I never give any silent treatment in complicated situations, I just can't, because all I want is to solve the problem and decide if it is the end or not. What kills me is the anxiety of not knowing where they stand, so i absolutely can't sit still: always checking the phone for any reply, overthinking in my mind everything I said, what they might be thinking, etc until I get a positive reply and feel better (I'm in a long distance relationship, we only see each other once a week, and sometimes go a month without being together).
hmm.... i suppose this might be able to fit into a disintegrated 2-like state. what is your mood/feeling when this situation is going on?

What happens a lot of times is not even acting out of fear of looking like im trying too hard and look like a failure.
psychology would dictate, if you are trying hard enough to cause yourself anxiety about something... you are trying to hard.

its interesting to me that you try to LOOK like youre working hard. the appearance of, but not actually, working hard.

what do you think about - "if you focus on the work and not how you appear to others, your energy will focus on what youre working on and then appearance wont matter, because youll actually be working hard" ?

I'm a female btw, but i take it.
*bows*

my lady
;)
 
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