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From Becomingminimalist.com: (15 Surefire Ways to Impress Others | Becoming Minimalist)

More often than we would care to admit, the desire to impress others motivates our lives. This desire to impress others impacts the cars we drive, the clothes we wear, the technology we embrace, and the careers we choose.

Unfortunately, it is often elusive. Cars rust. Fashion changes. Technology advances. And the purchases that impressed your neighbor yesterday make no impression today. As a result, we live our lives with out-of-style clothes, jobs that we hate, skyrocketing personal debt, and jealousy towards our neighbor who seems to have it all… until that unquenchable desire to impress begs us to begin the cycle again.

The hard truth is we often look to impress others in all the wrong places.

Take a moment and identify the people in your life that truly impress you. What is it about their life that inspires you? Make a list. Very rarely (if ever) is it the car that they drive or the size of their home. Most often, the people that truly inspire us possess the invisible, intangible qualities that we all desire.

To that end, consider this list of 15 Intangible, Surefire Ways to Impress Others:

1. Be Generous. Regularly give your time, energy, and money to others without expecting anything in return. The giving of your life to another is one of the most impressive things you can ever do.

2. Laugh Often. Be that person that routinely laughs at other’s jokes and stories. It concretely communicates that you enjoy life and their company. They’ll be impressed and you’ll be a more joyful person.

3. Be Optimistic. Always, always, always focus on the good aspects of people and situations. Sometimes you have to look harder than others, but you’ll always be glad you did.

4. Love Your Kids. And by love your kids, I mean genuinely like them too. Enjoy being with them, spending time with them, and investing in their lives. This love towards children will be evident in your life even when they aren’t around.

5. Be Faithful to Your Spouse. Marital fidelity is going out of style too quickly these days. Stay faithful to the one you chose. Trust me, your friends and colleagues will be impressed… not to mention your partner.

6. Develop Your Strengths. I am impressed by good singers, authors, writers, architects, speakers, CEO’s, computer programmers, mothers, and athletes (just to name a few). There is only one thing they all have in common: They discovered their strengths and developed them with great discipline. Do the same with your unique giftedness and temperament. And regardless of the profession you choose, you will impress.

7. Travel. See the world. You will change and be better because of it.

8. Appreciate Different Opinions. While there is nothing wrong with being dogmatic in your beliefs, a healthy appreciation of how others came to theirs is definitely an impressive quality.

9. Love Your Life. Don’t fall into the trap of living life like everyone else. Avoid television and consumerism. Embrace your passions and find enjoyment in your life. The people around you will be impressed… and jealous.

10. Encourage More. Living your life in competition with those around you will never impress. After all, everyone else is already doing that. Change the world by being different. Seek to encourage and lift up others. And the person who benefits the most just may be you.

11. Love Nature. People who exhibit care for the physical world around us exhibit care for all humanity.

12. Listen Intently. Eyes focused. Ears tuned. Cell phone off. In a world that can’t move fast enough, someone who can find time to listen is as rare as a precious jewel… and far more valuable.

13. Be Modest. You are special, unique, and gifted. And the less you make an effort to tell everyone that, the more they will notice.

14. Be Content. A contented life is enjoyable, desirable, and admirable. Those who don’t have it, desire it. And are impressed with those who have.

15. Don’t Live to Impress. Live to Inspire. Give up your desire to impress everyone you meet. But never give up your desire to inspire everyone you meet.

Of course, the greatest thing about this list is that you already possess everything you need to inspire others. So why not get started? Stop trying to impress others with the things that you own and begin inspiring them by the way you live your life.
I know I always need these kind of reminders... :happy:

Do you relate? Agree?
 

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Discussion Starter #4 (Edited)
It's missing point #16, "Have better abs than everyone."
LOL! Somehow I seriously doubt that the main idea got across to you... :crazy::crazy::crazy:

Well, it's great to know who you can trust for the good laugh of the day! :happy:
 
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This list basically shows that INFJs, in our default position, are likely to piss people off and not meet expectations society hsa of us. We (at least I know this is true for me) tend to be attracted to the darker or sadder things, and tend to be more serious and brooding over something. even when we are feeling happy. That list was probably designed by an ENFx.

Edit: Actuall,y, if I met someone like that (which I did today)< i'd be annoyed they were so happy go lucky.
 

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This list basically shows that INFJs, in our default position, are likely to piss people off and not meet expectations society hsa of us. We (at least I know this is true for me) tend to be attracted to the darker or sadder things, and tend to be more serious and brooding over something. even when we are feeling happy. That list was probably designed by an ENFx.

Edit: Actuall,y, if I met someone like that (which I did today)< i'd be annoyed they were so happy go lucky.

It's comments like that that first made me think I was an ENFP. I'm not. I'm a happy-go-lucky INFJ. You could be too, if you wanted to be, but you don't. So you'll just stay annoyed at people like me, and I'll probably stay annoyed at people who like to dwell in darkness and sadness, like you. Sorry to be so blunt, but I just get tired of being lumped into the same category as everyone else because we share a type code. I think this is where the enneagram comes in realllly useful for further distinction - you 4, me 9 - poles apart.

Good list, Panda, thanks for posting it.
 

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This list basically shows that INFJs, in our default position, are likely to piss people off and not meet expectations society hsa of us. We (at least I know this is true for me) tend to be attracted to the darker or sadder things, and tend to be more serious and brooding over something. even when we are feeling happy. That list was probably designed by an ENFx.

Edit: Actuall,y, if I met someone like that (which I did today)< i'd be annoyed they were so happy go lucky.
Default position? Expectations of society...I buck them. Yeah, I don't break the law. No, I am not by any means an unkind person. I just don't do what society dictates of me. I do my own thing. Yes, I'm an INFJ cognitive type and much more than just a type. Every human being is more than type. I have laughter and lots of it! You need to find yours, hun, and I'm sure you will. :happy:
 

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Darn good list penchant! :wink:
 
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I wrote a long post, but my browser refreshed. First, I want to say THANK YOU to Penchant- this is clear to me but I wanted to say it explicitly - my disagreements with the points on the lists do not reflect my opinion of you as a fellow INFJ on this board. I find your posts always helpful and thank you again for posting something that will potentially help others. :proud:

Second, when I write, I assume that everyone realizes that it is my own personal opinion of something. Katey, I am sorry you are so hostile about a different opinion on this matter. I want to address this in a straight-forward way, instead of sweeping it under the rug. I personally think your comments on my personality were uncalled for and extremely mean. I merely stated my own opinion, and you did not have to criticize my personality, which I thought was really rude. I am neither a 4 nor am I constantly dwelling in sadness or darkness. I am attracted to the darker/sadder/melancholic sides of anything. I appreciate these qualities and I appreciate addressing these things, rather than glossing over these things and focusing on just the happy stuff. Anyway. the main point is that if you disagreed with my opinion, FINE. But I do think it was extremely rude of you to attack my personality based on differing Opinions.

Dalien - Thank you for your comment as well. I agree. I don't do what society dictates of me. When I am geninely happy or laughing, then I am. But, I won't go out of my way to FORCE myself to think or behave a certain way just because it will impress others. I have laughter, but I reserve it for true moments of joy whenever they happen. Not because society likes to be around happy people. I personally think the best way to impress others is to GENUINELY be yourself and to present yourself the way you are. I am wokring on that myself, for my own personal development. I am also planning on doing some of those things, like travelling and loving family/spouse/children/etc, but for MYSELF, not because I want to impress others. Anyway. My observation was from my interactions with ENFx friends/relatives, who often list those points as the ways to impress others or just in general how they interact with people.

But anyway. I disagree with the points on the list (just MY opinion). I DO agree however with Penchant that we do need these reminders every once in a while. The disagreement is on what exactly the reminders are about though. Sorry if anyone is offended by my post, but I am making it a personal point to stand up for myself and voice my thoughts more. Rather than letting my views or myself be stepped over.
 

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I wrote a long post, but my browser refreshed. First, I want to say THANK YOU to Penchant- this is clear to me but I wanted to say it explicitly - my disagreements with the points on the lists do not reflect my opinion of you as a fellow INFJ on this board. I find your posts always helpful and thank you again for posting something that will potentially help others. :proud:

Second, when I write, I assume that everyone realizes that it is my own personal opinion of something. Katey, I am sorry you are so hostile about a different opinion on this matter. I want to address this in a straight-forward way, instead of sweeping it under the rug. I personally think your comments on my personality were uncalled for and extremely mean. I merely stated my own opinion, and you did not have to criticize my personality, which I thought was really rude. I am neither a 4 nor am I constantly dwelling in sadness or darkness. I am attracted to the darker/sadder/melancholic sides of anything. I appreciate these qualities and I appreciate addressing these things, rather than glossing over these things and focusing on just the happy stuff. Anyway. the main point is that if you disagreed with my opinion, FINE. But I do think it was extremely rude of you to attack my personality based on differing Opinions.

Dalien - Thank you for your comment as well. I agree. I don't do what society dictates of me. When I am geninely happy or laughing, then I am. But, I won't go out of my way to FORCE myself to think or behave a certain way just because it will impress others. I have laughter, but I reserve it for true moments of joy whenever they happen. Not because society likes to be around happy people. I personally think the best way to impress others is to GENUINELY be yourself and to present yourself the way you are. I am wokring on that myself, for my own personal development. I am also planning on doing some of those things, like travelling and loving family/spouse/children/etc, but for MYSELF, not because I want to impress others. Anyway. My observation was from my interactions with ENFx friends/relatives, who often list those points as the ways to impress others or just in general how they interact with people.

But anyway. I disagree with the points on the list (just MY opinion). I DO agree however with Penchant that we do need these reminders every once in a while. The disagreement is on what exactly the reminders are about though. Sorry if anyone is offended by my post, but I am making it a personal point to stand up for myself and voice my thoughts more. Rather than letting my views or myself be stepped over.
Katey did not mean to offend you. And neither do I, but I am going to be honest with you.

You are entitled to your opinion, but as attracted as you are to the darker/sader/melancholic sides of things, I still think you would be better off if you could genuinley apprecaite the lighter sides of things as well.

The way you think about society seems almost paranoid to me. It's as if everything that "mainstream" people do is evil. Unless you are content with looking like a nuerotic nutcase to most people, you can't just say.."Fuck you evil losers. I'm going to do my own thing all the time."

Be honest about your Fe. There is a part of you that is concerned with how you are perceived by other people. You have shown it on the forum many times. Don't tell me that there isn't.

There are a few different options that you can take in order to do something about this:

1. You can try to become more of a T, so you can numb it. This is what I think you WANT to do, but to be honest, you are not pulling it off very well. You are a very emotional person, and I think this is an unhealthy way to deal with that, because you are trying to be something that you are not, and you just stress yourself out more.

2. You can be a miserable person for the rest of your life. Sounds like fun, huh? But you are drawn to the darker/sader/melancholic sides of things, so maybe this is what you want.

3. You can learn to see that not everything that "average people" do is bad. You can learn to actually have fun and enjoy some of the "superfical" things that these evil extroverted people do. You can appreciate the differences that they have from YOU and value what they genuinley bring to the world.
 

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Cough, I think we need to revisit Number 8, cough.

"8. Appreciate Different Opinions. While there is nothing wrong with being dogmatic in your beliefs, a healthy appreciation of how others came to theirs is definitely an impressive quality." :tongue:
If it's anyone who is not appreciating different opinions, I think it is Katey. I have my own opinion and I flat out said in my post, it is just MY opinion as one person. I acknowledged that there will be different opinions on this.

Being intolerant of others and different opinions= when you start criticizing someone's personality , rather than the different ideas they bring to the table. Included in this= suggesting someone is wrong or bad for the way they think.

I've merely stated my opinion on this matter and if anyone (even if it means all the other INFJs on this thread) disagrees with this, Im completely OK with that. I don't expect to see eye to eye with everyone I "run" into in the world. However, once an opinion starts straying from the issues/opinions, but starts criticizing someone's personality or lifestyle, then THAT is crossing the line.
 

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This list basically shows that INFJs, in our default position, are likely to piss people off and not meet expectations society hsa of us. We (at least I know this is true for me) tend to be attracted to the darker or sadder things, and tend to be more serious and brooding over something. even when we are feeling happy. That list was probably designed by an ENFx.

Edit: Actuall,y, if I met someone like that (which I did today)< i'd be annoyed they were so happy go lucky.
It's comments like that that first made me think I was an ENFP. I'm not. I'm a happy-go-lucky INFJ. You could be too, if you wanted to be, but you don't. So you'll just stay annoyed at people like me, and I'll probably stay annoyed at people who like to dwell in darkness and sadness, like you. Sorry to be so blunt, but I just get tired of being lumped into the same category as everyone else because we share a type code. I think this is where the enneagram comes in realllly useful for further distinction - you 4, me 9 - poles apart.

Good list, Panda, thanks for posting it.
She's attacking you about as much as you are (generally) attacking people that are so happy-go-lucky.

We happy-go-lucky people have feelings too, you know, Miss Sadness and Darkeness.
 

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If it's anyone who is not appreciating different opinions, I think it is Katey. I have my own opinion and I flat out said in my post, it is just MY opinion as one person. I acknowledged that there will be different opinions on this.

Being intolerant of others and different opinions= when you start criticizing someone's personality , rather than the different ideas they bring to the table. Included in this= suggesting someone is wrong or bad for the way they think.

I've merely stated my opinion on this matter and if anyone (even if it means all the other INFJs on this thread) disagrees with this, Im completely OK with that. I don't expect to see eye to eye with everyone I "run" into in the world. However, once an opinion starts criticizing someone's personality, then THAT is crossing the line.
So last week I presented at our staff meeting. I had this wonderful presentation about an idea I've put into action that is literally changing how we do our jobs.

And after my presentation was over, people started to suggest ways we could make it better. Then they started bickering about the practicality of it all, who would be responsible for the changes, who was competent to make the changes, and then finally attacks on each other.

No one told me anything about how great my idea was, or thanked me for what I had done. Instead they all spent the entire meeting arguing.

After the fact, every member of our staff came up to me later to apologize for hijacking my presentation.

That's exactly how this whole thread feels.

Penchant presents a list that I really doubt *anyone* could argue with. A beautiful list. A list perhaps, we all could stand to learn from. And instead, someone does argue with him, and then it spirals out of control from there. And now we are forgetting the simplicity and elegance of the list.

So regardless of anyone's opinions here... I think its important sometimes to remember the beauty in the original post. Be generous. Laugh often. Be optimistic. Love your life! :happy:
 

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She's attacking you about as much as you are (generally) attacking people that are so happy-go-lucky.

We happy-go-lucky people have feelings too, you know, Miss Sadness and Darkeness.
Um, yeah. What he said. Except I wasn't intending to "attack" anything, just stating facts that as much as anyone would get annoyed with me in real life for being happy-go-lucky, I would be annoyed at them for concentrating on the depressing side of life. In hindsight, I should have left out the "like me" and "like you"...but I was just using "me" and "you" as examples of how very different two people of the same type can be.

Sorry for any part I played in this thread going off topic.

*whistles*

I thought the OP was a good list of rules to live life by, not to impress anyone, but for your own quality of life and peace of mind.
 

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Discussion Starter #19
:laughing::laughing::laughing:

Well, I don't feel bad about anyone disagreeing with me or my OP, and do really appreciate all the input from all of you, especially curious0610! I am really touched by the efforts you all made to point out your appreciation for the OP.

It seems obvious to me that there are many ways to interpret the list, and I could've included more background on where it comes from. My interest in minimalism has been growing slowly for the last few years, as I come to understand that I feel much better about myself when my mind and environment is set up to focus on what I hold as important. Impressing others is definitely not on the list of things I prioritize, but still something I struggle with. Reading something like this makes me realize that I do not need to worry about that.

I certainly understand the importance of not making this a way to impress others for its own sake—and I do see how the title can be misleading or provocative, but I still wanted to keep it from the original. For that reason I'm also sceptical to the books of Dale Carnegie and the likes, but still try to read them at times, as I see the skills in themselves as tools that can be used for good or bad.

The point brought up by curious0610 about not conforming to society is one that I value. Really, what the list of things means to me is the affirmation that I do not need to conform to society. When I read the points I see a lot of things that are very counter-cultural. Read through it slowly and see if you agree with me or not.

I think it is important for us INFJs not to confuse being counter-cultural with being antisocial. I don't believe that it can be the true nature of any INFJ to be antisocial, even though many of us have had childhood experiences that could easily make us. But what we do need to treasure, is our ability to be counter-cultural, something which is getting more and more important every day as our society keeps getting more and more crazy.
 

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:laughing::laughing::laughing:


The point brought up by curious0610 about not conforming to society is one that I value. Really, what the list of things means to me is the affirmation that I do not need to conform to society. When I read the points I see a lot of things that are very counter-cultural. Read through it slowly and see if you agree with me or not.

I think it is important for us INFJs not to confuse being counter-cultural with being antisocial. I don't believe that it can be the true nature of any INFJ to be antisocial, even though many of us have had childhood experiences that could easily make us. But what we do need to treasure, is our ability to be counter-cultural, something which is getting more and more important every day as our society keeps getting more and more crazy.
love your OP.

and

i love what you wrote above. this list is very counter-cultural. i believe when you act with wisdom and grace in your life you acquire admiration and respect from others .....which gives you a louder voice of influence...
 
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