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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Dear J.,

I was contemplating some more, and now I would like to deepen my story. I've come to the conclusion that the reason I want intimacy so much is exactly because of my problems. I feel helpless (stupid and emo, but true, deal with it) sometimes. That's probably where I get the inspiration for my deterministic theories. I thought I was bound to act as I do, that nothing can change that, except an influence from outside of myself. My dragging you into this is probably a cry for help. I really, for a long time hoped someone will help me, I can't do it alone, but to do that I would have to admit my weaknesses to someone and I was afraid that that someone will forsake me or think less of me.

And I'd say that's the explanation of my weird states and weird questions. A cry for help.

Talking to you made me think and deepen my already existent thoughts about this subject and put it orderly into words. That's why dialogue is important, and what others think of you. Fine, that's not exactly what others think of you, but you get what I want to say!

Written 4th of May 2012.
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