[ForsakenMe]

I read the "20 Reasons Why You're Still Single Men" thread, and had an idea that it's time to create a list for us ladies and for the confused, single ladies out there wondering just what the heck they're doing wrong that's driving literally all the men in their lives away.

Let's start.

Reason 1: You're Too "Fun".

Everybody likes a funny lady... However, there is such thing as being too funny. If you don't take life or yourself seriously at all, how will you expect for men to take YOU seriously at all? You can crack jocks from time to time, but when the situation calls for being serious, lay away the Dane Cook jokes for a while.

Reason 2: You're A Party Girl.

If your life only consists of partying hard every night and sleeping in during the day, no doubt that guys would steer clear of having any serious commitments with you. Being the obnoxious drunk girl would only get you in bed and the guy "mysteriously" disappearing when morning arrives.

Reason 3: Your Friends Are Complete Bitches.

You are the company that you keep. And in this case, if your friends are the type to cause nothing but drama for everyone even mildly involved int heir lives, guys will pick this up and stay away from you in fear of being ridiculed by them, or having them ruin the relationship due to petty jealousy and immaturity. Lose the skank team and find better friends.

Reason 4: You're Too Picky.

Your perfect guy: Athletic, super-genius, has the artistic talents of Picasso, as handsome as Brad Pitt, and has more money than God. Realize that nobody will ever be perfect, and that you need to take in the guy's flaws as well as his good points. Chill!

Reason 5: You Have A Bad Attitude.

Overly-complaint, demanding, controlling, always putting everyone down, insecure with self, can never take a joke, has the tendency to scowl and sneer at everyone... Rings a bell?

Reason 6: You're Still In Love With Your Ex.

You're always bringing him up in the conversations between you and other men. You still wear the necklace that he gave you for the 1 year anniversary you celebrated a long time ago. You keep in very close contact with him and go out with him "as friends" out on the night in town... While your boyfriend is nervously waiting by the phone.

Reason 7: You're Mentally Unstable.

Whether you're just mildly depressed, or severely schizophrenic with a sociopathic personality... Your mental illness will frustrate and may even scare men away, even if they do love you to bits. Solution? Go get professional help before you can even THINK about dating again. You deserve to be happy and healthy... And your relationships will turn COMPLETELY better for everyone involved.

Reason 8: You're Too Flirty.

Flirting is a great way to meet and have fun with men. Once you're in a relationship, though, you may need to cut this out when you are with other males. Flirting with your (Or God forbid, his!) male friends is just asking for a dumping... Either stop this bad habit, or enjoy being a flirt... For the rest of your life.

Reason 9: You're Too Fast To Get Into Bed With.

Ain't nothing wrong with being proud of your body and sexuality... However, it is been said for so long that in the dating world, getting in bed with a man before the 3rd date and beyond will strip away all the mystery, and the guy losing interest. It sucks, but learn to be a little patient, and focus on your guy instead of his schling-schlong; THAT comes later, and the anticipation will be worth it in the end, promise!

Reason 10: You're Too Nice.

Yes! Even women can be "the nice guy"! Remember that while being laid-back, sweet and giving are some great traits that men can find in a woman, it's also okay to think for yourself and to say "No" every once in a while to your guy... He is not your whole world, and growing a little back bone can make you even MORE attractive in his eyes.

Reason 11: You Have A Jealous Ex-Lover.

We all have one... That stupid ex-boyfriend of ours who can never get the clue that it's over between the two of you, or the guy you had a short fling with can't fathom the idea of you dating other guys. Men who find threatening or overly sexual messages from the ex on your phone will not be pleased, and may consider second thoughts. It's not that you are not worthy of fighting for... They just don't want unnecessary drama in their lives. And who can blame them? Tell your crazy exes to kick rocks and leave you the hell alone... Or maybe you enjoy making men jealous because you are insecure or have a thirst for drama?

Reason 12: You Are Self-Destructive.

Whether you abuse drugs, alcohol, participate in self-injury or otherwise... You have to realize that men don't find this behavior attractive, and you also have to realize that men cannot save you, only YOU can. You don't need men right now... You need to check in a rehab facility or a therapist who can help you.

Reason 13: You're Too... Male.

Listen, there's nothing wrong with pursuing sports or video games. Heck, there's nothing wrong with having fun and getting down and dirty... However, being exactly the same as his male friend replica is just asking for getting invited to the dreaded "friendzone". Ever heard of guys describing one of their female friends, who happens to wrestle buff men for fun, as "the sister they never had"? Yeah, it ain't pretty! Remember to get in touch with your feminine side as well! Burping, farting, having body odor, not shaving, and dressing like a dude is just too much for a heterosexual guy to handle.

Reason 14: You're High-Maintenance.

Your boyfriend isn't Donald Trump. Unless your man is rich and doesn't mind spoiling you everyday, lay off the money-hungry attitude.

Reason 15: You're Too Clingy, Or Too Distant.

Your man has a life, and you need to focus on yours! Get some new friends, get a job, or pursue some interesting hobbies. In the same token, remember to spend some time with your significant other; Your friends/job/hobbies/etc can't take up ALL of your time, unless you enjoy being a busy, SINGLE lady!

Reason 16: You Nag Too Much.

Do I really need to explain? Or are you just gonna yell at me to clean the dishes all over again?

Reason 17: You're Abusive.

It is NEVER okay to hit a man. Ever. Domestic violence is very serious, and your man should never be your personal punching bag for all the issues that you possess.

Reason 18: You're Too Shy.

Men aren't always the initiator to everything, so sometimes, you're going to have to buck up and ask him out first! Confidence is sexy, and men will appreciate you making the first move; It's a breath of fresh air!

Reason 19: You're A Slob.

Take a damn shower! Shave, apply deodorant, take care of your hair and skin... You are not a pig, and having very bad body odor won't attract any guys, unless you like very strange guys!

Reason 20: You Pretend To Be Dumb.

Being the dumb blonde chick might be seemingly endearing... For a short while!

 

[Vaka]

Reason 11: You Have A Jealous Ex-Lover.

LOL

I think I remember another thread like this a while back. I'm not sure why it wasn't stickied along with the male version, though.

 

[ForsakenMe]

LOL

I think I remember another thread like this a while back. I'm not sure why it wasn't stickied along with the male version, though.

LOL, it's the "20 reasons why you're still single men", it's stickied and everything.

Dude, this picture is just wrong but strangely sensual... Agh, what is wrong with meeee! :crazy:

 

[KrystRay]

Reason 3: Your Friends Are Complete Bitches.

You are the company that you keep. And in this case, if your friends are the type to cause nothing but drama for everyone even mildly involved int heir lives, guys will pick this up and stay away from you in fear of being ridiculed by them, or having them ruin the relationship due to petty jealousy and immaturity. Lose the skank team and find better friends.

Reason 4: You're Too Picky.

Your perfect guy: Athletic, super-genius, has the artistic talents of Picasso, as handsome as Brad Pitt, and has more money than God. Realize that nobody will ever be perfect, and that you need to take in the guy's flaws as well as his good points. Chill!

Reason 14: You're High-Maintenance.

Your boyfriend isn't Donald Trump. Unless your man is rich and doesn't mind spoiling you everyday, lay off the money-hungry attitude.

Reason 15: You're Too Clingy, Or Too Distant.

Your man has a life, and you need to focus on yours! Get some new friends, get a job, or pursue some interesting hobbies. In the same token, remember to spend some time with your significant other; Your friends/job/hobbies/etc can't take up ALL of your time, unless you enjoy being a busy, SINGLE lady!

This is pretty much me in a nutshell. Then there's the whole me being dramatic aspect, but that could just be an extension of high maintenance AKA crazy.

 

[Neon Knight]

Angry hasty response in rant format

Forward: I CHOSE to be single, mostly because of shit like this.

[RANT]

Reason 4: You're Too Picky.
Probably, but I feel like I have reasons to be these days.

Reason 5: You Have A Bad Attitude.
See above answer.

Reason 6: You're Still In Love With Your Ex.
I really hate it when guy does this, hopefully I don't.

Reason 7: You're Mentally Unstable.
Whether you're just mildly depressed, or severely schizophrenic with a sociopathic personality... Solution? Go get professional help before you can even THINK about dating again.
That's pretty much what I'm doing :happy:

Reason 9: You're Too Fast To Get Into Bed With.
it is been said for so long that in the dating world, getting in bed with a man before the 3rd date and beyond will strip away all the mystery, and the guy losing interest. It sucks, but learn to be a little patient, and focus on your guy instead of his schling-schlong
Then quit bugging, begging, bribing us and maybe that would be more of a possibility. I wish these guys would fucking make up their minds, anyone else feel this way, or been through this too? Oh and...hyprocrites! And try taking your eyes of our chests when talking to us ok?

Reason 10: You're Too Nice.
Again, make up your fucking minds!! We can't be the madonna AND the whore and when we are you complain about it.

Reason 11: You Have A Jealous Ex-Lover.
Another one I hate that I've been through with guys, so I get this one.

Reason 12: You Are Self-Destructive.
Whether you abuse drugs, alcohol, participate in self-injury or otherwise... You have to realize that men don't find this behavior attractive, and you also have to realize that men cannot save you, only YOU can. You don't need men right now... You need to check in a rehab facility or a therapist who can help you.
Hypocrites!!

Reason 13: You're Too... Male.
Ever heard of Metrosexual or Manscaping? Not very manly... :happy:

Reason 15: You're Too Clingy, Or Too Distant.
I'm sick of repeating myself, make up your minds already!

Reason 16: You Nag Too Much.
Do I really need to explain? Or are you just gonna yell at me to clean the dishes all over again?
How about you try doing some chores without being asked for once? I never yell, I ask nicely.

Reason 18: You're Too Shy.
Men aren't always the initiator to everything, so sometimes, you're going to have to buck up and ask him out first! Confidence is sexy, and men will appreciate you making the first move; It's a breath of fresh air!
I'm so tired of repeating myself so I'm not going to.

Reason 19: You're A Slob.
Take a damn shower! Shave, apply deodorant, take care of your hair and skin... You are not a pig, and having very bad body odor won't attract any guys, unless you like very strange guys!
This goes for you too guys...

Reason 20: You Pretend To Be Dumb.
Being the dumb blonde chick might be seemingly endearing... For a short while!
Maybe if we DIDN'T get the message that the dumb blonde gets all the guys, those who do wouldn't feel like they had to.

[/RANT]

 

[OctoberSkye]

I agree with all of these except #9. It takes two to tango and it's bullshit to stigmatize the woman when the man wanted it just as much or more. #18 isn't always a bad thing, either.

 

[Goodewitch]

Revy 2hand is spot on here... make up yer bloody minds,..we cant be a walking dichotomy.
The hypocrisy inherant in some of those points is palpable.
Talk about trying to be everything and all, and nothing and something and one and the other but sometimes both!! Jeebus H Christ, no wonder I remain single, with impossible standards like this, who wouldnt be?
G. x

 

[Neon Knight]

Thank god, I thought I'd be jumped all over on this one :happy:

 

[ilphithra]

Oh... this explains why I can't understand most of you women for the life or me... and I AM a woman...

 

[KrystRay]

Is it strange that I can blame my mother for every reason listed here that makes me crazy?

 

[skycloud86]

A male response to this list (in regards to straight couples) -

Reason 1: You're Too "Fun".

Nothing wrong with being "too fun", although the worst thing in that paragraph was the mention of Dane Cook and jokes in the same sentence.

Reason 2: You're A Party Girl.

This would personally not be a quality I would look for in a woman as we would be virtually polar opposites, but I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing in moderation.

Reason 3: Your Friends Are Complete Bitches.

Those friends don't sound particularly good for any woman regardless of how they affect her chances of getting into a relationship.

Reason 4: You're Too Picky.

I think this is a given for both sexes.

Reason 5: You Have A Bad Attitude.

This would put a lot of people off in either sex, and so would the opposite - the doormat.

Reason 6: You're Still In Love With Your Ex.

Whilst there's nothing wrong with being friends with an ex-partner, I think being in love with them will damage the current relationship.

Reason 7: You're Mentally Unstable.

This seems to be a stereotype of women, and I do see a lot of women worrying about their mental health and being too quick to diagnose themselves with certain mental illnesses (seriously, the number of women on-line who claim to have bi-polar disorder is huge, although men are just as guilty of self-diagnosis). That being said, a good partner would be able to help their partner work through any actual mental instability and grow into a more mentally healthy person.

Reason 8: You're Too Flirty.

This should be a given for both sexes.

Reason 9: You're Too Fast To Get Into Bed With.

This one isn't even in the male one, where I would have thought it would actually be. I think the time it takes to start the sexual part of any relationship depends on the individual partners within the relationship. If a couple feel ready to have sex after a couple of dates, go ahead, and if the couple feel unready they should wait until both feel ready to bring the sexual element into the relationship.

Reason 10: You're Too Nice.

This is a very good one to take notice of - most men do not want a sweet little housewifey doormat who will do anything for her man (and if you are in a relationship with the minority of men who do, I would suggest leaving them before you end up getting beaten up every day and unable to leave the house). Modern men want equals, they want a woman who thinks for herself and is an active and equal partner in the relationship.

Reason 11: You Have A Jealous Ex-Lover.

Many men are psychotic, this is true, and unfortunately many men don't mind making fools of themselves by acting like possessive maniacs. These men need to be sternly told to go away, to leave you alone and to get over it.

Reason 12: You Are Self-Destructive.

I agree fully with the paragraph that was written for this one - when someone is self-destructive, it means that you need to focus on yourself. Take some time to help yourself as a person.

Reason 13: You're Too... Male.

Most men don't mind some masculine behaviours in women, and most men don't care if their girlfriend farts and burps. This really depends on what sort of man he is - the more conservative, traditional men probably want a relationship with a woman who is also conservative and traditional, whilst the more modern, progressive men want a relationship with more modern women.

Reason 14: You're High-Maintenance.

The paragraph written for this one seems to assume that women don't have their own incomes (although women do get paid less simply for being female, even if they are amongst the best in their industry). Noone of either sex wants a partner who is too high-maintenance, but this doesn't mean that you have to become low-maintenance, just tone it down slightly.

Reason 15: You're Too Clingy, Or Too Distant.

I think for the more introverted men, too clingy will be worse than too distant, and it would be the opposite for the more extroverted men. Even so, both are not great and men want to be in a relationship.

Reason 16: You Nag Too Much.

This one is very stereotypical and assumes that women are like the parent and men are like the child in a relationship (which is actually different to how society sees it, with men being seen by society as the more capable, more adult sex and women as the more child-like, less capable sex). Household chores should be shared equally (a good tip I read said that men should aim to do 60% of the housework, because then they will probably do their 50%), and we should all clean up after ourselves anyway 9if you used the plate and cutlery, wash and dry them. If you have clothes to wash, use the washing machine). No one partner should be doing everything.

Reason 17: You're Abusive.

This should be for both sexes. There's no reason why anyone should be hitting their partners, and if you do, then you should not be in a relationship, you should trying to manage your anger. Men are often victims of domestic abuse, and many cases go unreported because society looks down on men who dare complain of being hit by a woman. Just because women in general tend to have lower upper body strength (women have higher lower body strength in general), doesn't mean that it's more acceptable for a woman to punch a man (and if you think it is, ask yourself - if the woman was the six foot tall partner and the man the five foot tall partner, would it still be more acceptable for her to hit him than if the heights and roles were reversed?).

Reason 18: You're Too Shy.

Most men would be flattered at being asked out by a woman, and the worst he can say is no. A lot of people, both men and women, are shy, but if you build up confidence and self-esteem you can do it.

Reason 19: You're A Slob.

Whilst you should obviously have some idea of personal hygiene, this one should be more directed towards men than women, as men tend to be slobbier and women are usually under a lot of social pressure to be as close to perfect as they can get.

Reason 20: You Pretend To Be Dumb.

The media, and some men, may make you think it's attractive to seem less intelligent than you really are, but a mature man will find intelligence to be very attractive in a woman. If a man is looking for a woman with low intelligence, he's probably a control freak who is looking for a sex toy and domestic servant. Forget what society thinks about women showing their intelligence - the gender roles were made up by morons who couldn't appreciate intellect - and use those brains, because most men will be attracted to a clever woman.

 

[ForsakenMe]

Oh wow, my thread has been stickied! I feel very much appreciated, thank you guys.

I'm going to now responds to some of the ladies in this thread... Just like how some women possess these traits, MEN can also have these traits as well. I hope you guys realize that there is a thread just like this geared towards men as well- Both sexes are at fault for committing bad stuff in relationships.

For those who feel that men are very hypocritical... I strongly believe in balance. Just like the one I put down about being too clingy vs. being too distant... You should try and strike a balance in maintaining a sense of individuality (Have friends, a job, hobbies, focusing on yourself, etc.) and also pay attention to your relationship as well.

 

[Neon Knight]

Skycloud, you just raised my hopes for the possibility that there are more enlightened men out there than I previously thought :happy: A note though, I was actually with a few introverted types who thought I was too distant. I just don't like to talk about my feelings, something that I've heard men complain about not liking to do and I get the complaints that I'm not doing it, I must be meeting bizarro men or something...

 

[Antithesis]

Reason 5: You Have A Bad Attitude.

Overly-complaint, demanding, controlling, always putting everyone down, insecure with self, can never take a joke, has the tendency to scowl and sneer at everyone... Rings a bell?

Reason 9: You're Too Fast To Get Into Bed With.

Ain't nothing wrong with being proud of your body and sexuality... However, it is been said for so long that in the dating world, getting in bed with a man before the 3rd date and beyond will strip away all the mystery, and the guy losing interest. It sucks, but learn to be a little patient, and focus on your guy instead of his schling-schlong; THAT comes later, and the anticipation will be worth it in the end, promise!

Reason 13: You're Too... Male.

Listen, there's nothing wrong with pursuing sports or video games. Heck, there's nothing wrong with having fun and getting down and dirty... However, being exactly the same as his male friend replica is just asking for getting invited to the dreaded "friendzone". Ever heard of guys describing one of their female friends, who happens to wrestle buff men for fun, as "the sister they never had"? Yeah, it ain't pretty! Remember to get in touch with your feminine side as well! Burping, farting, having body odor, not shaving, and dressing like a dude is just too much for a heterosexual guy to handle.

Reason 18: You're Too Shy.

Men aren't always the initiator to everything, so sometimes, you're going to have to buck up and ask him out first! Confidence is sexy, and men will appreciate you making the first move; It's a breath of fresh air!

Bad attitude... not quite but I tend to say what I think about people, even if it isn't very nice. I can usually say why I think that but I find certain types get very uncomfortable with the blunt truth. Sometimes I can be judgemental.

Too fast... what can I say, learned my lesson the last time there. But it was a pretty fun lesson to learn and I know it would never have worked out anyway, we're too different! I'll be more reserved next time, and I didn't get a reputation in the process.

'Male'ness... not physically, but I often find that I think more like a guy than a girl. I don't have typically girly reactions to things (except spiders) and much as guys complain about women, they want/expect that kind of behaviour.

Shy... sort-of. I don't tend to initiate as I'm not very good at telling other people's feelings and I don't want to make a prat of myself! I'm not shy in talking to people I like though, I'll make an effort to spend time with them in the (normally vain) hope it might lead somewhere!

Meh, I could be much worse! :laughing:

 

[skycloud86]

'Male'ness... not physically, but I often find that I think more like a guy than a girl. I don't have typically girly reactions to things (except spiders) and much as guys complain about women, they want/expect that kind of behaviour.

I hate spiders myself. I don't mind if they leave me alone and don't come near me, but if I suddenly discover one on me it freaks me out.

 

[Gaminegirlie]

None even come close.

 

[PhillyFox]

Reason 3: Your Friends Are Complete Bitches.

You are the company that you keep. And in this case, if your friends are the type to cause nothing but drama for everyone even mildly involved int heir lives, guys will pick this up and stay away from you in fear of being ridiculed by them, or having them ruin the relationship due to petty jealousy and immaturity. Lose the skank team and find better friends.

I used to have this problem in high school. It didn't really affect my love life at the time because I wasn't really looking for anyone, but it did affect me having friends outside of our little clique. One of my jackass friends said something aloud about this other really sweet girl that was in my class. She overheard it and wouldn't talk to me until college.

Happily to say I'm rid of them. Mostly because I pissed off our mother hen that's still hung up on the high school clique thing. But trust me, you're MUCH better off without them.

Reason 4: You're Too Picky.

Your perfect guy: Athletic, super-genius, has the artistic talents of Picasso, as handsome as Brad Pitt, and has more money than God. Realize that nobody will ever be perfect, and that you need to take in the guy's flaws as well as his good points. Chill!

This is not necessarily a bad thing. I don't know how many times I've heard of girls getting involved with these guys that are no good just because they need someone to be with. In the end after they break up, they find themselves regretting falling for the wrong guy. It might not be a huge problem when you're just starting out in the field of dating and you're not really looking for a serious relationship, but it's a whole different story when you are. In my opinion you're only cheating yourself when you settle for Mr. Good-Enough-F-Now instead of looking for Mr. Right. I've done this before and it was basically a waste of my life and one big disappointment.

 

[JoetheBull]

Good news everybody. I decided to say a few things out of boredom (never said it was good news for you). " Warning" the following is the thoughts and opinions of a possibly idiotic person. It does not reflect any opinions of normal guys or men


Reason 2: You're A Party Girl.

I would have a problem with this if she will possibly drag me to all of them. Once in a blue moon is ok. I am not much of a party person so it's really nothing against the girl herself.

Reason 3: Your Friends Are Complete Bitches.

If there that bad I'll start using ninja tactics. They can't possible do anything to me if they can't find me:laughing:. Also what would they do in the first place. I am not to familiar how these types of girls act and behave in groups. I never really paid attention to them since they seem boring to study and understand. And in turn they didn't really knew I existed either:laughing:

Reason 4: You're Too Picky.

This would be more of a reason why I am still single. I have so many faults in my appearance and personality that it causes earth quakes. It's no wonder why girls go for the more acne prone idoits with no IQ or money over me.

Reason 6: You're Still In Love With Your Ex.

If this was the case. I am at fault for asking her out to the point of insanity(I learned to give up much sooner now) that she said yes to try to end it. Not very realistic or likely to happen. I have heard something about girls getting into relationships right after the previous one ended to prevent and fill the void from loneliness. I never had first hand experience so he can be full of it for all I know.

Reason 7: You're Mentally Unstable.

If this was true there should be more single people out there. It seems everyone and there dog is depressed at times.

Reason 8: You're Too Flirty.

Since I am unaware of flirting most of the time my insane jealousy will not even notice as well.

Reason 9: You're Too Fast To Get Into Bed With.

Wouldn't effect me too much. Might have the thought that she is only using me for sex and wonder it she going to beat the crap out of me for trying cuddle with her afterwards:laughing:. Takes a little more then sex to lose interest. But how likely is a girl going to try to sleep with me like that. I am sure the thought of me naked is enough for not to want to go all the way.

Reason 10: You're Too Nice.

once again. This is not supposed to be a list of why I am single

Reason 11: You Have A Jealous Ex-Lover.

Not the girls fault and shouldn't suffer because of it. Be a man and commit some terrorist ction against the jealous ex. Or better yet hack the FBI system and put him on the terrorist watch list and let them deal with it. If you can't tell I am not 100% serious about most of this post. Maybe 25% serious

Reason 12: You Are Self-Destructive.

I can understand this one a bit.

Reason 13: You're Too... Male.

I am not going to go there. The thing I thought of first. not going to do it.
Nothing wrong with Tomboys.

Reason 15: You're Too Clingy, Or Too Distant.

Reading this. I think that a girl would complain about me being both. Deal with that paradox.

Reason 16: You Nag Too Much.

Not so much of doing it more of how you do it. Nag me nicely and I will do it out of fear for the dark side you have hidden.

Reason 18: You're Too Shy.

Ok time for me to be serious for once in this post. True i am not the most initiator kind of person and wouldn't mind a girl doing some of the initiation. I actually find the shyness attractive and have had a few crushes on girls that were very shy.

Reason 20: You Pretend To Be Dumb.

There's girls that pretend to be stupid? No wonder I haven't crush on a girl for over 5 years.



This post alone is the reason I am single if not I'll spend another 10-15 years figuring it out.

 

[Rohbiwan]

I disagree with 9 - If there is not a passion too strong to make it through the first date, then we're not for each other. Sex and love can be good for a lifetime if you are in it cause you are not #7 (unstable) - mystery is overrated - mysterious isn't and lasts a lifetime. A quality woman doesn't loose her mojo cause she knows what she wants. That's not saying she should sleep with anyone, but she should not be afraid to sleep with someone she really connects with.

 

[Stars]

Reason 10: You're Too Nice.

Yes! Even women can be "the nice guy"! Remember that while being laid-back, sweet and giving are some great traits that men can find in a woman, it's also okay to think for yourself and to say "No" every once in a while to your guy... He is not your whole world, and growing a little back bone can make you even MORE attractive in his eyes.

I have to agree with this one. I like it when women have an independent, openminded, assertive, able-to-say-no side as a companion piece to their kind, compassionate, loving, and cute side. When both those sides exist in the same women...man, that's attractive!