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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
It never ends..

A couple of years ago i was starting threads galore about what it meant to be an adult. Now I am one, it moves on to the next piece of the puzzle. How do your 20s compare to your 30s?

I've being reading as much as possible about this, and considering more than half of my 20s will be devoted to studying (and travelling), i will be heavily invested in discovery and shunning responsibility during this period.

I remember in my teens, everything was about the rollercoaster and melodrama involved in it, now everywhere i look i read about the voyage of discovery and pile-up of mistakes that is your 20s. i know with my personality. i will never be fully satisfied (or it will take some luck) in either a career nor a relationship during this period. I will never be satisfied, until i feel i have reached my peak as a person. thank god i have another 9 years until my 30s eh?.

I would love to hear how older ENFPs have differed in their 20s and 30s, and even the opinions of those younger who have something to say on the matter. I've completed my first step, and this is my second big voyage as a developed human being. man am i excited.
 

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I'm 27 so I'm still going through this transition myself. There's a lot of aspects of myself that have changed over the past 7 years. In my early 20's life was about change. I wanted to become "perfect" and fix all my flaws. There was a lot of insecurity and there still is, but now that I'm older there is a shift from trying to change myself to self acceptance. Some things I did change about myself, but a lot of things have remained the same. What I've found was that many of my self identified flaws really are just character traits.

The paradoxical thing about self acceptance is that it usually creates change, but in a more subtle way. You end up picking the battles that you can win while retreating from battles that you can't.
 

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I'm 27 so still got just over two years of it. My 20s so far have been crazy intense with various adventures and sometimes stupid, sometimes not so stupid decesions. It was a lot of trial and error and took me to places around the world as well as kickstarted me on my journey of self-discovery. I learnt about the MBTI when I was 24 and found I had to learn everything about it as well as how I could better improve myself and my perceptions of others.
I think I'm ready to settle down now, career, relationship ect. I hear we tend to do that in our 30s - especially if we've had the chance to release a lot of our curious energy in our 20s.
 

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I'm 26. The older I get the more...peaceful I get. Not focused on settling down, or wandering, or getting money, or spending money, just...being in the moment. When I was young I was a lot more socially awkward, focused on video games and junk, thought I had life figured out, enjoyed the drama of relationships and blah blah blah. If I could see me now from back then I'd think I was the weirdest self assured guy ever. Makes me feel happy to know I've done so much.

I don't think there's any kind of peak. You live and learn. Age is irrelevant.
 

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I'm 28. I know as I've matured life just feels AWESOME. I love myself so much. It's weird. I imagine my 30's are going to be the best years so far. The more I know myself, and more secure and confident I become. Its precious.

I do remember my early 20's where I just didn't want to be me so much. I was so misunderstood and confused about people and why they just didn't get me, or get each other. I've only recently discovered MBTI... gosh I wish I had discovered it sooner! It really allowed me to freedom to be myself... be proud of myself and embrace my strengths instead of focusing on my weaknesses so much.
 

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I'm 22 and graduated college last year. The hardest thing for me about my 20's so far is that I am lonely. I have a great boyfriend and a couple long term close friends in my area, but everyone is so busy with the rat race that I do not consistently see anyone except for my boyfriend. My roommates are cool too but they are also in their own world on their own track. Friendships don't seem to be as much of a priority for people anymore. It's not like it was in college when we were all doing the same thing and supporting each other through it. Everyone feels so scattered and fragmented to me now. It also probably does not help that I live in a very large geographic area for the first time in my life and that I have very little money to spare. Did any other ENFPs go through this, does anyone have advice?
 

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@Tridentus you're worse than me when it comes to worrying about the future, and that's saying something! I'm pretty sure every thread you ever start is pondering about something that could happen five years from now ;p

I don't have much to contribute to this one, as I'm only 22, but I definitely feel like I'm 30...
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
@Tridentus you're worse than me when it comes to worrying about the future, and that's saying something! I'm pretty sure every thread you ever start is pondering about something that could happen five years from now ;p

I don't have much to contribute to this one, as I'm only 22, but I definitely feel like I'm 30...
It's not so much worrying, it's more excitement and impatience lol. i constantly have that sense of being a child and wanting to grow up- whilst simultaneously not wanting to get older either. wanting my finger in every pie is a defining driving factor of mine, and planning out the future is the only way i can apply some structure. i need a goal and destination to work toward, otherwise i'd be scattered as hell.

well i guess it is a sort of worrying- i want to be ready for each stage too. call it life research :p
 

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ENTP...but l find l was much more future-oriented as a younger person, obsessively so. Now at 28, l'm either more present or past oriented (at least this year).

ls that Si solidifying? l think being past-oriented can be annoying and a little depressing, but the new feeling of being present is actually nice.

When l say to my family members ''We'll cross that bridge when we get to it.'', the look on their face is priceless because l was always the one planning infinity lightyears into the future for no reason, but it really does feel more secure.

l think it's just the result of having a literal foundation you can use to judge how events will play out, whereas before some of my future planning was triggered by fear of the unknown.
 

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33, will be 34 next month.

Early 20s - No sense of self. No idea of where life is going. Bright, full of potential. Frightened. Lonely. Paranoid. Fearful of never being loved. Fearful of never being accepted. Running but not sure towards what goal. Open. Enthusiastic. Unrequited. Searching for a saviour. Messy. Disorganised. Spontaneous. Hasty. Gushy. Full on. All the way up to 11.

Late 20s - Fledgling career = sense of place in the world. Realisation of natural gifts, and more acceptance of natural flaws. Have had relationships, have had time on my own, find longer term 'adult relationship'. Find longer term 'adult relationship' is really really hard. Lose fear of leaving behind people and things that are destructive. Still struggle to leave behind people and things that are destructive. Open. Enthusiastic. Messy. Disorganised. Spontaneous. Determined. Surer. Stronger. All the way up to 11 but can now also sometimes hit an 8.

Early 30s - Defined career = surety in self of purpose and use. Career offers opportunities to use natural gifts well and frequently = huge satisfaction and joy. Career also highlights natural flaws; administration, punctuality, filing, order = frustration, displacement activity, all-nighters, procrastination and last minute panics. Determination to attempt to overcome natural flaws within work environment. Realisation that work and my life are actually same thing without barriers, therefore, overcoming natural flaws probably lifelong battle fraught with all-nighters and last minute panics. Leave 'adult relationship' as it has become destructive, but not soon enough due to struggle with leaving behind destructive people and things. Spend time alone rediscovering joy. Open. Enthusiastic. Messy. Disorganised. Spontaneous. Determined. Surer. Stronger. All the way up to 11 but functions around an 8, capable of running at 5. Calmer. Steadier. Much less fearful, much more accepting, except when tired, ill and/or hormonal, when revert to Early 20s.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
You may never be satisfied then. *amused*
i didn't know which of these answers to give because they're both true..

a) "good". i want to stay hungry. it's when i get complacent that i let thing slip. i'm actually only happy when i feel driven. i feel more confident, more focused and much stronger mentally.

b) i'm pretty sure i will reach my own definition of a "peak" in life. i have a strong sense of direction in life, and for example, when i was 17 i was aiming to be exactly the person i am today as a next step. in fact so far i've progressed further than i thought.

what i think will happen will be that my capabilities and way of thinking will reach a peak, but my desire to learn and achieve and experience more will remain. which is great.

but enough about me.. :proud:
 

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33, will be 34 next month.

Early 20s - No sense of self. No idea of where life is going. Bright, full of potential. Frightened. Lonely. Paranoid. Fearful of never being loved. Fearful of never being accepted. Running but not sure towards what goal. Open. Enthusiastic. Unrequited. Searching for a saviour. Messy. Disorganised. Spontaneous. Hasty. Gushy. Full on. All the way up to 11.

Late 20s - Fledgling career = sense of place in the world. Realisation of natural gifts, and more acceptance of natural flaws. Have had relationships, have had time on my own, find longer term 'adult relationship'. Find longer term 'adult relationship' is really really hard. Lose fear of leaving behind people and things that are destructive. Still struggle to leave behind people and things that are destructive. Open. Enthusiastic. Messy. Disorganised. Spontaneous. Determined. Surer. Stronger. All the way up to 11 but can now also sometimes hit an 8.

Early 30s - Defined career = surety in self of purpose and use. Career offers opportunities to use natural gifts well and frequently = huge satisfaction and joy. Career also highlights natural flaws; administration, punctuality, filing, order = frustration, displacement activity, all-nighters, procrastination and last minute panics. Determination to attempt to overcome natural flaws within work environment. Realisation that work and my life are actually same thing without barriers, therefore, overcoming natural flaws probably lifelong battle fraught with all-nighters and last minute panics. Leave 'adult relationship' as it has become destructive, but not soon enough due to struggle with leaving behind destructive people and things. Spend time alone rediscovering joy. Open. Enthusiastic. Messy. Disorganised. Spontaneous. Determined. Surer. Stronger. All the way up to 11 but functions around an 8, capable of running at 5. Calmer. Steadier. Much less fearful, much more accepting, except when tired, ill and/or hormonal, when revert to Early 20s.
Can I just say, responses like this are the reason I am falling in love with this place. I read an ENFP's response and its so similar to mine that I want to cry and scream "I'M NOT ALONE IN THE WORLD" - lol =]
 

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Can I just say, responses like this are the reason I am falling in love with this place. I read an ENFP's response and its so similar to mine that I want to cry and scream "I'M NOT ALONE IN THE WORLD" - lol =]
And your response brought tears to my eyes and made me laugh. Hugs to you fellow ENFP, we stand shoulder to shoulder with all our idealism to take on the rigours of being grown up xXx
 

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30s are so much much better for me. I'm more secure with myself, come to terms with career and family and friends. I became much more spiritual and that has made life more rewarding. I do not long to be younger.

Haha I look much better now too - score!

Plus I am more established materially and have the means to accomplish the things I want to do.

Challenges are the looming biological clock, relationships are more complicated (& rewarding and I guess disappointing), and the work-life balance. Life is full of challenges no matter how old but 30 seems like my prime. Hopefully 40s will be a pleasant surprise.
 

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31 and from 29 to now have been the best years of my adult life. I am comfortable in my own skin and know myself better than ever. I also enjoy life in much more fulfilling ways...I guess you can say I have a stronger appreciation for what really matters in life.
 

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I am due to be 36 in the next two month.

My early 20's were wreckless but fun. No direction in life, no worries, no cares, just lived to have a good time.
My late 20's I got married and started a family. Became a responsible adult and started in my career.
My Early thirties, got divorced and started over with a wreckless (not nearly like my 20's) but fun time. That only lasted until I figured out who I was. Which previously I had no clue.

Out of my entire life, I can honestly say, I love where I am at right now. 30s > 20s!!! Makes me hopeful for what is yet to come!
 
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