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Well. I'm on a course to change my life.

I'm a 27 year old virgin. I've never even kissed a girl. I'm supposed to be an ENTP which is fun, witty, charming. And I have my moments when that is out and about, but most of the time not.

Well, at my age, that HAS to be a turn off for women. I feel like I'm missing out in life.

What can I do to fix it? Should I see a therapist? Which one do I want to see?

I hear some guys all the time 'I met X girl and now she wont stop texting me' and gee wiz. I meet a girl and am doing good if I get texts BACK.

A so-so friend of mine, an INTJ is damn near a womanizer and has a girl with him all the time and I'm like HOW DOES HE DO IT!
 

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I don't think you should be so worried just because at 27 you're a virgin who hasn't kissed a woman before. If you're ready for a relationship, then you need to stop seeing your lack of experience as a problem, in my opinion.
 

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you should go to one of those sex therapists who will take your virginity.

Or have a party where you invite a bunch of girls, watch "The 40 year old virgin" and get everyone drunk enough so that someone should be willing.

If all else fails, there's always craigslist!
 

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Well. I'm on a course to change my life.

I'm a 27 year old virgin. I've never even kissed a girl. I'm supposed to be an ENTP which is fun, witty, charming. And I have my moments when that is out and about, but most of the time not.

Well, at my age, that HAS to be a turn off for women. I feel like I'm missing out in life.

What can I do to fix it? Should I see a therapist? Which one do I want to see?

I hear some guys all the time 'I met X girl and now she wont stop texting me' and gee wiz. I meet a girl and am doing good if I get texts BACK.

A so-so friend of mine, an INTJ is damn near a womanizer and has a girl with him all the time and I'm like HOW DOES HE DO IT!
I am on same boat. Except for a few minor details. Only advice I can think of don't do anything stupid like me.
 

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Swallow your pride and ask your friend, or any other player friends, if you can learn from him/them, or just watch what they do.
 

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snap! thing is im 28, and dont like phisical contact with humans (animals im fine.)
its also not all to do with germs etc, i just dont like it, even when people squeeze past, also after a short time with someone i get easily bored...
think yourself lucky you are willing to try, where does that leave me? highly unlikey to do the deed and have accepted that in my life.
 

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you haven't included any information as to what you have tried and why it doesn't seem to work out for you so it is not possible to estimate what the issue is

as for whether you should see a therapist about it, this is up to you - you're not going to get any useful advice here unless you include more specifics
 

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Slow down, stop worrying so much. I met my gf at age 44. Of course my standards are impossible, that can have something to do with it.

But bottom line is, it may be a compatibility issue. Maybe not everyone is right for you. Sometimes I feel as if modern relationships have a half-life of about a year.
 

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Maybe you're not so extroverted after all.
I think sometimes we give an extra importance to how experienced we are. What matters is having sexual confidence. Like someone said before, you need to stop worrying about your lack of experience. It's better that it takes more time but you finally do it well and be happy than any other thing, maybe. Anyway, maybe you should go look for a partner if you really want one.
A turn off? well, I don't know. I'm a virgin (but I'm younger than you) and the person I'm with doesn't find it a turn off at all.
Maybe you don't go with the right girls, which is what I thought really from the first paragraph. Maybe the girls you go with can't find what a hot guy you are. I'm an INFP and I rarely get any text back too from people, and it's hard for me to be understood by people, something that doesn't give me a problem but at times I feel bad, okay. Don't worry. Just keep those desires alive, and wait, and most important of all, have fun in your quest. If you don't, you'd better shoot yourself. :)

You should think too about why you are an ENTP most of the time but at times you don't. You should think about that, well, whatever makes you feel good. Do you feel like your whole life is in your hands when you really are and behave like an ENTP? Do you feel weak the rest of the time? what it is?

get free from your fears, and release yourself. Being NxP was never easy ;)
 

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Well. I'm on a course to change my life.

I'm a 27 year old virgin. I've never even kissed a girl. I'm supposed to be an ENTP which is fun, witty, charming. And I have my moments when that is out and about, but most of the time not.

Well, at my age, that HAS to be a turn off for women. I feel like I'm missing out in life.

What can I do to fix it? Should I see a therapist? Which one do I want to see?

I hear some guys all the time 'I met X girl and now she wont stop texting me' and gee wiz. I meet a girl and am doing good if I get texts BACK.

A so-so friend of mine, an INTJ is damn near a womanizer and has a girl with him all the time and I'm like HOW DOES HE DO IT!
I respect you for having the balls to post something like this. Here's the funny thing though, you are right that a lot of women are turned off by this and it does devalue you in some women's eyes. However, have you ever considered the option of outright telling a woman that you are a virgin? Believe it or not, this drives some women wild and they will pounce on you like an African leopard. Try it. Plus the positive side of this is that women don't have to worry about getting an STD from you either.
 

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You could find a Girl Guide (or a Nurse) ESFP (ISFP) but it (=she) might leave you empty inside.



PS: She might actually refer to you as an It.
I dont know what this means.

I respect you for having the balls to post something like this. Here's the funny thing though, you are right that a lot of women are turned off by this and it does devalue you in some women's eyes. However, have you ever considered the option of outright telling a woman that you are a virgin? Believe it or not, this drives some women wild and they will pounce on you like an African leopard. Try it. Plus the positive side of this is that women don't have to worry about getting an STD from you either.
Well, I woudn't want to scare the girl. When I find myself in another position to do that. I must might. I know how important it is to lead or be dominant or whatnot. It's an inherent contradiction. I've thought about going to Nevada to a brothel and saying 'teach me'.. ha.

you haven't included any information as to what you have tried and why it doesn't seem to work out for you so it is not possible to estimate what the issue is

as for whether you should see a therapist about it, this is up to you - you're not going to get any useful advice here unless you include more specifics
More information -- ok. I'm too serious. I can talk with women and people but for some reason I never get beyond "Hi, How are you, what do you do, oh how interesting, tell me about X" I feel like I need to be more flirt, more funny, and I'm not sure how to do that. I see guys that have a woman busting up within 2 seconds of talking to her, and I'm like "HOW!!??" At the same time I see guys who are all boring an monotone and even THEY get girls... I'ts not that I think I'm boring. I can be physically playful, and I sing to songs on the radio and do other unusual things but don't know how to flirt.

I also have a bad habit of not getting peoples contact info when I meet them. I meet them, I talk, I leave. Maybe I see them again, maybe I dont. I have like no social circle, no "best" friend, but I do have several long term family friends that I've known for ever. No women.

But get this. I don't think confidence is my issue. I work in an electronics store where I feel my personality can really come out and people tell me all the time that they love my personality, my "radio" voice, I'm so happy and greet everyone. I still do this in "real life" too but much less. I may smile and say hello passing strangers but never really know what to say to them. Its like I need lots of energy, people around, music, to joke. I dont know, does this make sense?

Another reason I don't think confidence is my issue.
There is a girl that I like, she INTRODUCED herself to me like last year and I blew her off because I froze. Well I've been seeing her more and more. I took her hand, and taught her how to Salsa IN THE STORE and she giggled away, but I still can't talk to her beyond "hows your day". Did I ask her out ofter this, NO. I said "Come back in" and she said "Oh I willl!" (I hvn't seen her yet) AND, she is absolutely GORGEOUS, Very Girly (you should hear the giggle), and TALLER THAN ME. Which donest make any damn sense. I feel like I'd need to like sports or something. She likes the "store" attitude. I guess.

Sometimes I cant help but feel that if I got a date with her or someone else I couldn't be interesting enough in the other environment. I might shut down and go into 'brain dead' mode. Maybe however, in such a new situation my Ne will go NUTS and I will be all over the place. That's always fun, if not a little scary for the other person :)

There are a couple more stories, but I think that these convey the same message that those do. Blow her off, realize oops, try to recover, fail. I need to just swoop in and do it one one move or something. ::shrugs::



ALSO, what makes me feel bad is that I some guys meet a girl and say "Oh me and my friends are getting together for a BBQ or Pool Party, you should come" Me and my friends don't have any of those. And I probably would not want to subject her to some of my needy friends right out of the bat :). So, yeah, I need a more "cool" friends too, I suppose. ::Shrugs::
 

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Is it cos they are handsome in slipper? You seem to have all the answers save for thine self
Women like slippers says so in the bible at the back or cos they are a enigma too toy with. The towering intellect of this species ( and i bet its one of em mad entjs or similar) who are poking him.

He likes to be poked whilst solving the unfied field theory and wrestling a polar bear, often on account it makes him guffaw

PS hes not really an intj – he merely has delusions of grandeur.

whiney bitch issues more like

gek, my msn has one friend on it and do you here me whining
YES
 

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Um... What Dreamy? I have NO idea what your talkin about.
Dreamy Translation. ahem..allow me.. He means, that the INTJ freind may have a girl on his arm, but it may not be as great as its cracked up to be, on account of all women being slipper (read shoe) obssessed creatures, and that the INTJ freind is probably not as happy as he seems to be, and to take solavce in that. He also means for the OP to take women down off that serious 'must make a connection' pedestal, and not take things so seriously nor take them to heart. use the ENTP carefree manner, and the INTJ 'dont give a damn attitude to life and girls, then they will come to the OP< instead of him chasing his tail anxiously.
He also means that as an INTJ himself Dreamy complains that he has only one female freind himself on mssenger, albeit a fabulous one,.. and is saying not all INTJ are or even can pretend to be some kinda stud.
I thank you
G. x

(He's gonna kill me ;) x
 

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Well. I'm on a course to change my life.

I'm a 27 year old virgin. I've never even kissed a girl. I'm supposed to be an ENTP which is fun, witty, charming. And I have my moments when that is out and about, but most of the time not.

Well, at my age, that HAS to be a turn off for women. I feel like I'm missing out in life.

What can I do to fix it? Should I see a therapist? Which one do I want to see?

I hear some guys all the time 'I met X girl and now she wont stop texting me' and gee wiz. I meet a girl and am doing good if I get texts BACK.

A so-so friend of mine, an INTJ is damn near a womanizer and has a girl with him all the time and I'm like HOW DOES HE DO IT!

People say you need confidence but no one tells you how to GET confidence. At the end of the day, confidence is about winning. In order to win, you have to play the game. In order to play the game, you have to TRY. And have the stamina to try again when you fail. This builds up your immunity to rejection.

and you NEED that immunity. Women have dissed me so hard it isn't funny. It hurts. Losing sucks--no matter who you are. But what matters is how you get back in the game. Personally, I am a person who fails a lot. But I hate the thought of giving up on anything--of settling and saying "I'm not good enough". So I constantly try to play the game..and occasionally I win. You have to have that mentality.

once you keep trying and playing the game, eventually you'll win more often because you've had victories under your belt and feel more comfortable in your abilities. You'll know what works and doesn't work. Thats how your confidence rises.

And once you have sex the first time, you wont feel the same. You wont feel the same because you know that you had what it took to do what you just did--get a woman to have sex with you. It removes a lot of virgin-weight off your shoulders.
 

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More information -- ok. I'm too serious. I can talk with women and people but for some reason I never get beyond "Hi, How are you, what do you do, oh how interesting, tell me about X" I feel like I need to be more flirt, more funny, and I'm not sure how to do that. I see guys that have a woman busting up within 2 seconds of talking to her, and I'm like "HOW!!??" At the same time I see guys who are all boring an monotone and even THEY get girls... I'ts not that I think I'm boring. I can be physically playful, and I sing to songs on the radio and do other unusual things but don't know how to flirt.

I also have a bad habit of not getting peoples contact info when I meet them. I meet them, I talk, I leave. Maybe I see them again, maybe I dont. I have like no social circle, no "best" friend, but I do have several long term family friends that I've known for ever. No women.

But get this. I don't think confidence is my issue. I work in an electronics store where I feel my personality can really come out and people tell me all the time that they love my personality, my "radio" voice, I'm so happy and greet everyone. I still do this in "real life" too but much less. I may smile and say hello passing strangers but never really know what to say to them. Its like I need lots of energy, people around, music, to joke. I dont know, does this make sense?

Another reason I don't think confidence is my issue.
There is a girl that I like, she INTRODUCED herself to me like last year and I blew her off because I froze. Well I've been seeing her more and more. I took her hand, and taught her how to Salsa IN THE STORE and she giggled away, but I still can't talk to her beyond "hows your day". Did I ask her out ofter this, NO. I said "Come back in" and she said "Oh I willl!" (I hvn't seen her yet) AND, she is absolutely GORGEOUS, Very Girly (you should hear the giggle), and TALLER THAN ME. Which donest make any damn sense. I feel like I'd need to like sports or something. She likes the "store" attitude. I guess.

Sometimes I cant help but feel that if I got a date with her or someone else I couldn't be interesting enough in the other environment. I might shut down and go into 'brain dead' mode. Maybe however, in such a new situation my Ne will go NUTS and I will be all over the place. That's always fun, if not a little scary for the other person :)

There are a couple more stories, but I think that these convey the same message that those do. Blow her off, realize oops, try to recover, fail. I need to just swoop in and do it one one move or something. ::shrugs::

ALSO, what makes me feel bad is that I some guys meet a girl and say "Oh me and my friends are getting together for a BBQ or Pool Party, you should come" Me and my friends don't have any of those. And I probably would not want to subject her to some of my needy friends right out of the bat :). So, yeah, I need a more "cool" friends too, I suppose. ::Shrugs::
I think you are being too hard on yourself. It is rather difficult to just randomly strike up a conversation with a woman in a store and expect it to lead to a romantic date and sex. This is just very low probability chain of events. Of course you have a problem talking with a girl when she is there really just going about her business and you don't know anything about her.

I don't think flirting is your issue. Guys don't really need to flirt. Just indicate interest. And indicate it in such a way that she won't be able to mistake it for anything else. Ask her some questions about herself. What does she like? What does she do on her free time? Does she have any pets? What music does she like listening to? Get a feel for what her interests are. Buy tickets to some event you think she's like, and then ask if she would like to come with you. Buy her flowers on Valentine's day. Do something that she cannot miss. Then if you get rejected oh well.

I know ENTPs like leaving things hanging in the air and have all as many possibilities open as possible. But if you don't commit yourself to other people and demonstrate interest, then other people won't commit to you.
 

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Figure out what type of person you are when it comes to sex, financial, and will you be the type to be adventurous. After you figure that out look for a female in that category then go with the flow. Try not to please everyone, because you can't. Relationships are just trial and error. Give some space, be respectful and everything else you just go with the flow. If your the type to be shy in approaching in person, then do it online.
 
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