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I'd like to know if this is a enea-type thing or just casualties.
By saying "2s and 9s aren't drawn to each other" I don't mean in a sexual way, but in a..."day a day" way.
I say this because I have a brother who is a 9, and my dad is a 2, as is my math profesor (he teaches me and my brothers all together in my home). The thing is that, my dad (this will sound very cruel, but im not in the mood to cover it up with subtlety and explaining context and everything; my dad never did this directly) didn't spent time with my brother (9), never really, even the housemaids we had said that it was the son he less liked. My dad treated him well and everything but he wasn't as warm as he was to everyone else closer to him.
And with my math profesor is the same, he is cordial and everything with my brother, but he isn't as affectionate as he is with the other of us.
I also think that my brother has anything to do with this, he is a nine head to toes and, believe me, he couldn't be better person (I'm not saying this because he's my brother). Anyway, im curious to know if this is real, I mean that truly 2s doesn't feel drawn to 9s. (of course I don't need to say that there are always exceptions and all of that).
Please, every thought welcome!
 

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I'd like to know if this is a enea-type thing or just casualties.
By saying "2s and 9s aren't drawn to each other" I don't mean in a sexual way, but in a..."day a day" way.
I say this because I have a brother who is a 9, and my dad is a 2, as is my math professor (he teaches me and my brothers all together in my home). The thing is that, my dad (this will sound very cruel, but I'm not in the mood to cover it up with subtlety and explaining context and everything; my dad never did this directly) didn't spent time with my brother (9), never really, even the housemaids we had said that it was the son he less liked. My dad treated him well and everything but he wasn't as warm as he was to everyone else closer to him. And with my math professor is the same, he is cordial and everything with my brother, but he isn't as affectionate as he is with the other of us.
I also think that my brother has anything to do with this, he is a nine head to toes and, believe me, he couldn't be better person (I'm not saying this because he's my brother). Anyway, I'm curious to know if this is real, I mean that truly 2s doesn't feel drawn to 9s. (of course I don't need to say that there are always exceptions and all of that).
Please, every thought welcome!

How interactive is your brother? 9s usually are perfectly happy to sit in the background and let others speak up. They sometimes don't have much of a presence at all. What are the types of your other brothers? Your 9 brother may be happy to be drowned out by the rest of you.
 

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Hmm I could see myself being friends with a 2 easily. I've never heard of any particular incompatibility. One big difference between 9s and 2s is that 2s enjoy displays of gratitude, whereas 9s would prefer to just hush it up. But it seems as if 9s and 2s should have a lot in common. I enjoy getting to know 2s because their warmth always overcomes my tentativeness.
 

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Rather than having type 2 and 9s being drawn together, I would say they are connected in terms of motivation, especially when referring to Tritypes. If we consider that they are 2 axes which consist of 4 extremes: masculine, feminine, right-brain, and left-brain. The traits of the feminine axis would reflect 2, 9.

Left brain: Logic, knowledge, observation, compartmentalization (1, 5) - Right Brain: Intuition, creativity, connection, meaning (4, 7)
Masculine (6, 8): Survival, existence, confidence, repelling - Feminine: Empathy, acceptance, well-being, attracting (2, 9)
 

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Hmm I could see myself being friends with a 2 easily. I've never heard of any particular incompatibility. One big difference between 9s and 2s is that 2s enjoy displays of gratitude, whereas 9s would prefer to just hush it up. But it seems as if 9s and 2s should have a lot in common. I enjoy getting to know 2s because their warmth always overcomes my tentativeness.
I've lived with a 2 now for 14 years (MIL). The most important thing I have discovered is they tend to need a lot of feedback. They need to know you appreciate the efforts they make on your behalf. If they suspect you don't appreciate them, they will lower the boom on you.
 
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Hmm I could see myself being friends with a 2 easily. I've never heard of any particular incompatibility. One big difference between 9s and 2s is that 2s enjoy displays of gratitude, whereas 9s would prefer to just hush it up. But it seems as if 9s and 2s should have a lot in common. I enjoy getting to know 2s because their warmth always overcomes my tentativeness.
Research by Faurves indicated that compatibility and instincts are correlated. A SP 9 would still prefer to stay at home and indulge its resources while a SX 2 would hungry for deeper connection and could possibly be turned off by the SP 9's lack of passion.
 

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Personally I would love someone who hungered for deeper connection, (I'm SO) as long as they were willing to meet me more than half way, because I have a hard feeling thats its ok to get closer to people... so it seems like a 2 would be good for me because they dont have any problem with that (I guess).
 

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I'd like to know if this is a enea-type thing or just casualties.
By saying "2s and 9s aren't drawn to each other" I don't mean in a sexual way, but in a..."day a day" way.
I say this because I have a brother who is a 9, and my dad is a 2, as is my math profesor (he teaches me and my brothers all together in my home). The thing is that, my dad (this will sound very cruel, but im not in the mood to cover it up with subtlety and explaining context and everything; my dad never did this directly) didn't spent time with my brother (9), never really, even the housemaids we had said that it was the son he less liked. My dad treated him well and everything but he wasn't as warm as he was to everyone else closer to him.
And with my math profesor is the same, he is cordial and everything with my brother, but he isn't as affectionate as he is with the other of us.
I also think that my brother has anything to do with this, he is a nine head to toes and, believe me, he couldn't be better person (I'm not saying this because he's my brother). Anyway, im curious to know if this is real, I mean that truly 2s doesn't feel drawn to 9s. (of course I don't need to say that there are always exceptions and all of that).
Please, every thought welcome!
They don't really get each other. These are very different types, with different preoccupations and goals that don't contribute much to each other's existend when they do interact. So then interaction loses point. 9s go better along with 1s, 3s, and 7s, while 2s are the natural partner of 8s and are also good with 6s and 4s.
 

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my impression of a 2+9 relationship is
2 seduces 9 >>>>> they enjoy each other's company >>>>> just as the 9 is starting to get really comfortable, the 2 starts to get bored and either becomes increasingly demanding or moves on to their next target
 

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They don't really get each other. These are very different types, with different preoccupations and goals that don't contribute much to each other's existend when they do interact. So then interaction loses point. 9s go better along with 1s, 3s, and 7s, while 2s are the natural partner of 8s and are also good with 6s and 4s.
i heard from multiple 9's that they tend to clash with 1's. 2's and 6's aren't a straightforward match either with the 2's gripping on the 6 who flips between needing support and counterphobically lashing out at attempts of control over them.
 

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my impression of a 2+9 relationship is
2 seduces 9 >>>>> they enjoy each other's company >>>>> just as the 9 is starting to get really comfortable, the 2 starts to get bored and either becomes increasingly demanding or moves on to their next target
Yes, this generally agrees with my observations of how it goes. I did get a sense that they were bored by each other's company.

i heard from multiple 9's that they tend to clash with 1's. 2's and 6's aren't a straightforward match either with the 2's gripping on the 6 who flips between needing support and counterphobically lashing out at attempts of control over them.
Having serious clashes with 9s is like an oxymoron. The few I did clash with ended up retyping themselves as 2w1 and 3w4 later down the road which explained it. The 2 and 6 in my family get along pretty well with both focusing on dutifulness and their responsibility to one another, as both 2 and 6 are superego types. The 2's relationships with several 5s is rather horrid in comparison to the 6.
 

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Yes, this generally agrees with my observations of how it goes. I did get a sense that they were bored by each other's company.


Having serious clashes with 9s is like an oxymoron. The few I did clash with ended up retyping themselves as 2w1 and 3w4 later down the road which explained it. The 2 and 6 in my family get along pretty well with both focusing on dutifulness and their responsibility to one another, as both 2 and 6 are superego types. The 2's relationships with several 5s is rather horrid in comparison to the 6.
i don't think i mentioned serious clashes, 1 and 9 have different beliefs about the environment and themselves, 9's ignore and 1's notice flaws and it's obvious how problems can negatively manifest due to these different perspectives and has also been my experience and something i pick up in 1/9 interactions when these issues surface. I'm sure there are many 6's who get along with 2's specifically in a way because of the outward focus of 2's and the seeking someone who fits that bill but i was trying to get the point across that 2 which belongs to the power seeking triad may frustrate the 6's wishes for autonomy and so the 6 may feel over controlled by the 2, this is quite a common complaint and is very real.
could you explain more about how you see duty, it's not something that i relate to personally unless i'm missing a point somewhere. i suppose with the 2 and 5 combo, i could imagine a sexual 2 even less likely to get through to a 5.
 

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Without knowing more, it seems like a specific scenario with your brother.

I find connections with certain 2s to be mutually magnetic... just not so easy to maintain in a mutually satisfactory way. Both 9s and 2s tend to have a focus on others for different reasons as well as a tendency to merge. 2s can give 9s a feeling of attention and love, 9s can give 2s the acceptance of who they are without the need for image, there is a non-verbal connection/understanding with what each can give, and both sides are hitting at elements that are difficult for the other to address, which is also why I find it hard to maintain.

There are a few difficult elements for me with my E2 friends. One is how independent I am and my tendency to withdraw, they would like a lot more connection (even dependence) with me than I am comfortable with, when they are stressed they move towards others to feel loved and needed, when I'm stressed I pull away, how this plays out is typically me warning them that I will withdraw from time to time and not to read into it, it's just how I need to cope with stress, and them over-compensating and clinging tighter when I do, they fear that I don't need or love them, the need to connect to me while withdrawing causes feelings of being misunderstood and resentment so I try to gently tell them I need space, eventually they feel hurt and let go completely never to return in the same way.

The other aspect tough for me may also be about my connection to 4 but it is relevant to the 9 in me accepting people for who they are, I have a need to see someone at their core, I am not interested in their image, 2s are incredibly image conscious, I want to continually push past that to see who they are underneath and encourage that part of them to shine, however that is the part of themselves they are most unsure of, so brief moments of what feels like real connection for me are short lived and the image comes back as their prominent feature so the connection feels shallow, which is unsatisfactory to me.

The final element is 2s that are prone to aggressive emotional outbursts are the type I can tolerate the least our of all Enneagrams, as such a 2 would be a terrible romantic match for me, if I can't take someone at their worst then it wouldn't be right to take them at all. So I can never see myself having that kind of deep connection with a 2.

The 2s that I care about I easily and genuinely love, they feel safe and cause me to feel valuable and I know I can offer them something they genuinely value, there are simply aspects of each other we can compensate without articulating in a manner that no other type can, however we cannot meet each other's needs in the right way in the long term. What this means is casual friendships are valuable and easy when we gel, yet deep friendship is lacking.

i don't think i mentioned serious clashes, 1 and 9 have different beliefs about the environment and themselves, 9's ignore and 1's notice flaws and it's obvious how problems can negatively manifest due to these different perspectives and has also been my experience and something i pick up in 1/9 interactions when these issues surface.
1s are *cough* tough for me to deal with.
 
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