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2s- Has anyone been unable to overcome the "soul child" and seen themselves as 4?

...I'm very curious. I've had enormous issues with maturity and growth, and feeling stuck... and have strongly identified and been identified as 4... only to realize perhaps I simply haven't integrated myself well enough to accept the more mature, positive part of me that does want to care for others.

The Soul-Child of Enneatype Two (Point Four)
Behind the loving, giving and helpful outer facade of a Two lies a competitive, jealous and spiteful little Four-ish soul child. Twos try to present themselves as sweet and kind, self-sacrificing, humble, all of which can be seen as very much a reaction to the darker tendencies of their soul child. This is a little boy who wants to scream "I hate you!" to the other little boy who got the teacher or mommy's attention, pull his hair and tell him how awful he is and how stupid he is too. He is very observant about who gets how many cookies, tries to grab the most and the best and reacts with spite and venom if he does not get what he wants. He is filled with envy, believing the other kids have what he lacks and that they are better than he, cuter and more lovable. He can be bitchy and back biting, vindictive and huffy.

...Yep.

Any thoughts?
 

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I rarely feel like a 4 although I have read that is our growth point. I need to read more about that to understand what it means. I rarely feel jealous or that things are unfair. Maybe I'm just lucky?
 

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I relate to 4 but don't. I'm trying and I don't think there is a complete point of switchover. Rather I think it's the conscious discipline to practice self restraint, focus on resolving issues in our heads, and committing to allowing ourselves the freedom to feel pain(to know it won't kill you and just do it even if for a moment), in deeper ways than what we're accustomed to.
 

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My soul child is alive and kicking. :c It's not fun to admit but I know I am a pretty unhealthy 2.

I think I tested 4 years ago when I was much closer to the soul child's actual age, lol.

Whatever type I am, I legitimately freaking love cooking for people though... :)
 

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Uh, I thought integrating to 4 was a good thing? Lol. I think I've grown a lot as a 2 without realizing I was one. :p
 

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I've gotten a lot more healthy than I used to be, but I certainly wouldn't say that I've grown past my resentful vindictiveness. Which is unfortunate, because I definitely hurt one of my friendships recently through my passive aggressiveness.

I relate to 4 but don't. I'm trying and I don't think there is a complete point of switchover. Rather I think it's the conscious discipline to practice self restraint, focus on resolving issues in our heads, and committing to allowing ourselves the freedom to feel pain(to know it won't kill you and just do it even if for a moment), in deeper ways than what we're accustomed to.
This, too. Allowing myself to really feel my emotions, instead of hiding them away for fear that they may be unattractive, is kind of a big deal. But I doubt that there's really ever a total switch to the next type.
 
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I think my souls child ate me a long time ago. Because I'm pretty much like a child(ninkumpoop) :p

All of my (non-child) remains exist in her tummy like some undeveloped twin attached to my liver.

Hahaha, that's sick! I don't even know where I got that.
I'm on my first cup of coffee and my sons bus is late, again!
 

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You basically just described me? Oops.
 
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No I cannot identify myself with the description. Maybe I showed some of those traits during my childhood and teenage years, spitefulness and jealousy probably, but I haven't felt like that in years. The soul child grew up along with me.
 

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Well the "soul child" bunk is garbage because it assumes that you disintegrate into a less awakened state by assuming the strategies of a type other than your own. The deal here is that the 2 integrates themselves into both type 8 (their respective body triad reflection, and type 5 the head triad reflection.) As long as you stubbornly cling onto the defense mechanisms that the 2 provides, even in situations where it's maladaptive, is the time where you are actually at your weakest.
 

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Without wanting to sound stuck up, I can't say I relate to that. I've never felt jealous for as long as I can remember.
 
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