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Enneagram Relationships - Do Opposites Attract? | 9types
https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/enneagram-type-3-type-9/

I'm a 9 and somewhat new to enneagram. I wanted to find out about this compatibility between 3 and 9 as I think there might be friction in our values (though this might just be me).

I am incredibly laid back (likely exaggerated by me being a perceiver) and generally don't care too much about impressing others. Whereas 3s seem to feed off of what people think of them and I feel as if they'd want me to do the same (always look presentable, always try to fit in...).

However; 3s are very attractive to me (especially ENxJ 3s), I'd imagine we would make a great team at first (me building their self-esteem and them motivating me to do more) and I've heard we make a great combination.

What is you opinion on this relationship?
 

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My best friend ages 9 - 14 was a type 3. She and I shared a kind of "tough" manner, i.e. if something was hurting we never admitted it, and we shared this kind of adventurous spirit where we'd do crazy things and never admit that we had any limitations... I guess that was what we had in common. We had a type four friend who suffered from this. She was so sensitive and we were always kind of... not teasing exactly, but subtly putting her down because of it... (sorry jenna! :/)

Anyways, we were definitely compatible as kids, but as we grew older, we got less compatible. She was really high energy and wanted to party all the time, starting doing her homework at the bar for example (wtf?), and I mostly just like to stay home and read or have like conversation parties haha, so we drifted apart.

She also has hurt my feelings in past, for example I'm really conscientious in my relationship with my parents, I visit them and call them a lot, and recently I was having a conversation with her about potentially moving across the country, but I said one of my reservations was moving away from my parents, and she basically put me down for that, she jokingly was like "Man, you gotta get away from that!" and it hurt my feelings because I just felt like she wasn't taking my point of view into account and just squashing my problem.
Point being, she's so focused and ambitious, and kind of spits on sentimental feelings. She's so tough herself that she doesn't let other people have soppy feelings. That works for me in some way, because I never complain or get all emotional either, but I also do have emotions of course, and I don't want them disregarded. Personally I just prefer not to get emotional, but I dont think its necessary to squash emotions JUST TO SUCCEED AT MY CAREER etc like she does typically type three.
 
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