I've just realized that, sometimes, I'm actually very aware of what people think of me, it's just that I deliberately give an image that will make people dislike/be offended by me. maybe I'm trying to give off the image of the bad ass 8 who doesn't give a shit, but I view people disliking me as a sign that I'm doing something significant and worthy of real attention, rather than the false "'atta boys" most 3s go after. when I get one of these, it makes me feel like a loser and think something akin to "really? you think I'm so insecure and incompetent that I actually need you to encourage me? LOL puh-lease!"