[fishphlem]

3w4, 6w5...? D: Help? Questionnaire filled out

Hi there,
I've had some great difficulty for quite some time now, trying to decide what Enneagram type I am. I tend to think now that I may be a 3w4.
I am also an INTJ, however, and I understand this may be a very nontypical sort of result for an INTJ.
I'm also not exactly a typical INTJ as well, I think, because I tend to use my Fi more freely than the average INTJ does. This developed over time (and even effort actually, trying to balance my personality), so I'm quite sure I'm an INTJ. I use Se as well too, so no, not an INFP, not an ISTP, not and INFJ either, pretty sure.

I generally will score something like this when I take the test, 3w4 6w5 8w7 or 6w5 3w4 8w7. A couple times, I've gotten 3w4 5w6 8w7. Maybe I'm not any of these.

So, I have a pretty decent profile on this dating website, and it'd be great for you to look at that, probably. it does a better job than the questionnaire, I think. Here it is: OkCupid | FischschleimPhD / 19 / M / Providence, Rhode Island

But really, thanks for helping me to sort of figure this out and ask me questions if you want to know more. I'm going to fill out the questionnaire shortly as well.

 

[fishphlem]

QUESTIONNAIRE!


1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?
I feel like this could be kind of a complex thing for me to explain honestly. I feel like I know what it is...
I suppose I really want to have a certain kind of connection with someone. Finding someone that I want to stay with for my life is surprisingly important to me, more so that I would admit to myself, maybe. I feel like though I keep a hard intellectual type barrier, this sort of connection is something that my plans will always want to incorporate. I might try to plan things, but when it comes down to whatever, I realize that I'm planning things to work out so that I have had a long lasting personal connection with someone. D: That was tough! I was once in a long distance internet relationship (7000 miles) that involved about 4-5 hours of communication a day (5 months). I was quite happy with that.
I do spend quite a bit of time observing organizing a lot of information, trying to learn from other people and about things that are going on, and I recognize this as a main part of my personality, but I think that the paragraph above might be a more deeper reasoning for that sort of thing.
Personal growth and progress are very important to me.

2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?
Once again, this is kind of abstract. I want to be able to pick up and move, do the things I want to when I want to and to stop worrying about things. Maybe even have a worryfree sort of lifestyle... I feel like it's less about the what, and more about how it makes me feel sort of thing.


3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?
I don't want to be alone. I want to be able to do fun things with people I like and not have to worry about problems. Important values? Umm well. Gee, I'm not really sure.

4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?
My biggest fears are usually things that make me think I wont get what I want in the future. I had once become somewhat paranoid about the possibility of having asperger's syndrome after someone who had it said he suspected me of having it (no, I don't. He was crazy), when I clearly don't, because I was afraid that this meant to me that I was wrong in how I was coming across to others. That scares the crap out of me and makes me very anxious or nervous. I'm okay now though. haha

5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?
"He knows what he's doing"
Myself... "Ahh home sweet home" (referring to my head, mind and stream of consciousness of course)

6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
When my plans seem flawless, I feel good. I feel best when I'm happy, lmao. How else should I explain that?
I feel the worst when I am stressed and worried about different things, unsure that they will come together at all.

7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.
Anger- not really ever. I don't get angry at people. I might get frustrated with myself, but people don't really give me anger.
Shame- No, not really. I only care what the people that are important to me think of me. If that makes sense. KInd of a run on. lol
I get anxious often. I'm usually anxious about something, be it small or big. It's part of how I keep a check on things, I guess maybe?

8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.
Stress- When I realize I am stressed, I try to stop it. I know what I need to do, usually. I focus myself and take a break or whatever I need to do.
Change- Change my plans. Fix whatever needs to be fixed, move on. No big deal. Think about it later, and about why it could have happened.
COnflict- I don't think I avoid conflict. Conflict can be useful if I need to change something. I'd rather have people confront me about a problem than leave it laying around in a big mess. I guess I have sort of a "project manager" outlook when it comes to these sort of things. I'd like to be a project manager, or leader. I probably will be.

9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?
I tend to resist authority very easily if I'm not happy with it. I don't really need to have other people know that I am powerful, but I'd like to think I'm powerful, mentally at least.

10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?
Hey, whatever. Just do what you're doing. We all have our different motives and joys, and so if you like you're life, than good for you, if not, then maybe we can try to come up with some ways to improve it. Sound good?

 

[fishphlem]

Feedback here, please?

 

[aconite]

Well, I'm no expert, but your writing feels to me more 6ish than 3ish (esp. because you mention anxiety a lot); things you wrote about yourself kind of remind me of my sister, who is a 6w7... maybe 7 wing is a better fit than 5 wing?

 

[fishphlem]

Well, I'm no expert, but your writing feels to me more 6ish than 3ish (esp. because you mention anxiety a lot); things you wrote about yourself kind of remind me of my sister, who is a 6w7... maybe 7 wing is a better fit than 5 wing?

This is an interesting idea... I hadn't considered the 7 so far just yet, and the descriptions seem to fall in line pretty well, actually. I'm not really convinced of anything just yet though. Thanks for the response!

The 6w7 descriptions tend to suggest an extroverted personality. I am quite introverted.

 

[Wake]

typical 3 "Check out how single I am then get to know me while typing me." I'll pass on dating you btw :wink:

 

[Paradigm]

The 6w7 descriptions tend to suggest an extroverted personality. I am quite introverted.

About that:
6w7 and our trouble with introversion-extroversion
As a 6w7, I tend to spend the vast majority of my time at home, and the vast majority of that time in my room... I'm an obvious introvert, even if I do enjoy 7ish experiences.

I prefer these descriptions:
Typewatch
Ocean Moonshine

As a side note, I have the suspicion that 3 is more common for INTJs than thought...

 

[fishphlem]

About that:
6w7 and our trouble with introversion-extroversion
As a 6w7, I tend to spend the vast majority of my time at home, and the vast majority of that time in my room... I'm an obvious introvert, even if I do enjoy 7ish experiences.

I prefer these descriptions:
Typewatch
Ocean Moonshine

As a side note, I have the suspicion that 3 is more common for INTJs than thought...

I thoroughly enjoyed the 3 description by Typewatch. Haha.
Looks like I'm about a 3w4, maybe a 3w4 6w5(maybe w7) 8w7, INTJ? Hooray.

Any thoughts on my so, sp, sx preferences? I would probably suspect myself of being more so/sp.

 

[Paradigm]

I thoroughly enjoyed the 3 description by Typewatch. Haha.
Looks like I'm about a 3w4, maybe a 3w4 6w5(maybe w7) 8w7, INTJ? Hooray.

Any thoughts on my so, sp, sx preferences? I would probably suspect myself of being more so/sp.

Upon re-reading, I'm actually going to suggest looking into being a 7w6 (fixer).

Sevens and Threes are each outgoing and talented and both types can be self-centered. But Sevens are scattered whereas Threes excel at focus. Threes are oriented towards success, whereas Sevens are focused on enjoyment. Threes care about the impressions of others whereas Sevens, who are often quite popular as well, will sacrifice the good opinion of others if it interferes with their desires and their own conception of what is valuable.

I'm wondering about your 8-fix. You mentioned you don't get angry, but "frustrated," which is not really 8ish. 8s tend to enjoy getting angry, even the 8-fixers.

I'd like you to go into more detail about what makes you angry/frustrated and how you react. Should help a bit.

 

[fishphlem]

Upon re-reading, I'm actually going to suggest looking into being a 7w6 (fixer).

I'm wondering about your 8-fix. You mentioned you don't get angry, but "frustrated," which is not really 8ish. 8s tend to enjoy getting angry, even the 8-fixers.

I'd like you to go into more detail about what makes you angry/frustrated and how you react. Should help a bit.

Anger...
There are things that I care about that would get me upset, but I usually react to this with more of a, "What do I do now?" kind of attitude. I don't get upset very easily with other people, I usually just block them out if they are bothering me, or maybe even before they start bothering me, I somehow know they might bother me, but people don't really bother me that much anyway.
My anger tends to manifest itself in the form of stress.

For example, I might get pissed off if my computer's internet connection was being stupid or annoying, but I wouldn't take this out on other people at all and it would be completely separate from my interactions with other people.

 

[Paradigm]

I think 9w8 would be more accurate than 8w7. 8s tend to want everyone to know they're angry and invite anger into their life as a driving force. 9w8s are the type who more readily solve a problem (in comparison to 9w1), but still try to avoid feeling angry and don't want it to affect others.

In case you don't know, the gut types (8,9,1) are how we deal with anger. Head types (5,6,7) are fear, heart types (2,3,4) are shame.

Why did you identify with 8?

EDIT: And could you answer... Why do you feel like your anger shouldn't affect other people?

 

[fishphlem]

Why did you identify with 8?

Only because that was the result I was getting when I would take the tests.

EDIT: And could you answer... Why do you feel like your anger shouldn't affect other people?

I'm not really sure, but if I were to make a guess...
Maybe I don't give them an opportunity to bug me. I'm already omitting an aura of intenseness and guardedness if I sense intentions not (directly or indirectly) favorable to me...?

 

[Paradigm]

Definitely consider a 9w8 fix. And 6w7/7w6. On the bright side, 3w4 sounds about right for your heart fix, though tbh I'm not sure it's your core type.

Tests are rarely ever accurate, don't trust them The Enneagram requires more introspection than a lot of systems.

 

[fishphlem]

I'm beginning to think I fit this:
6w5 3w4 9w1

The 9w1 fits me better than the 9w8.
I think the 6w5 fits better as a core type than 6w7.
Any thoughts?

 

[Paradigm]

I'm beginning to think I fit this:
6w5 3w4 9w1

The 9w1 fits me better than the 9w8.
I think the 6w5 fits better as a core type than 6w7.
Any thoughts?

That would fit a lot better, yeah

I'm only concerned about you identifying with 6w5 because it's the "introverted" type of 6. I had the same problem, myself; most IxTx see themselves in 5 regardless of true type. Of course, you know yourself best.

 

[hz light]

Well, I'm no expert, but your writing feels to me more 6ish than 3ish (esp. because you mention anxiety a lot); things you wrote about yourself kind of remind me of my sister, who is a 6w7... maybe 7 wing is a better fit than 5 wing?

well,who knows?he may still be a 3 but perhaps his sixish soulchild is showing up or showed up for a moment(soulchild is only hidden,not dead),we always gotta keep in mind that the enneagram is about interconnection and that it reveals the depths of the person.
my tritype:6w7,9w1 and 4w5,my shadow tritype:2w1,5w4,9w8.