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3's strive to be the most successful at there field and 4's care about being unique or one of a kind.
narcissists want to be the best and narcissists think they are one of a kind that 4's want to be.

I have my times of meglomania too so
 

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Also in my experience, the 4 is very silent for the 3w4. They seem like just 3's while the 3w2 seems like a 3 with a wing 2. If you can feel your uniqueness then you're probably a mistyped 4w3 and judging by the fact that you're a male, it's not surprising. Men usually want to be 3's or 8's.
 

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As a 4w3, I see 3w4's as more narcissistic (or prone to narcissism). Most 4's that I know carry this overwhelming sense of shame underneath all their pretentiousness. We're willing to get up in your face about things we're passionate about, but we're also willing to admit that we're wrong and that we aren't the best (we're just better than you, lol) because of our love of authenticity.

Whenever I'm focused on my own sense of pretentiousness, I realize I act the way I do to help keep my image intact and not out of genuine reverence for myself. That's why I don't really see 4w3's as narcissistic.

We are really vain, however, and that's a whole 'nother topic for another thread.
 

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Most 4's that I know carry this overwhelming sense of shame underneath all their pretentiousness. We're willing to get up in your face about things we're passionate about, but we're also willing to admit that we're wrong and that we aren't the best (we're just better than you, lol) because of our love of authenticity.
No. Those are the 4w5s. 4w3s constantly think they're 3s cause of the shitty 4 descriptions that cater mostly to the 4w5s. It's always been the 4w3s and 3w2s that have been linked to narcissism not 3w4s.
 

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Also in my experience, the 4 is very silent for the 3w4. They seem like just 3's while the 3w2 seems like a 3 with a wing 2. If you can feel your uniqueness then you're probably a mistyped 4w3 and judging by the fact that you're a male, it's not surprising. Men usually want to be 3's or 8's.
No. Those are the 4w5s. 4w3s constantly think they're 3s cause of the shitty 4 descriptions that cater mostly to the 4w5s. It's always been the 4w3s and 3w2s that have been linked to narcissism not 3w4s.
Enneagram is about motivations, not behaviour ! Absolutely nothing tells 4w3 and 3w2 are supposed be more overtly narcissist than 3w4 (where the hell does that comes from !?). And men want to be 3 !? That's completely new to me. 8, yes (and I know several self-typed 8 who probably are 3) but usually, people want to be 4 and even 4w5, 4w3 being viewed as 3 or 7 (or even 2w3), and 3 being viewed as some sort of narcissistic pervert.

3w4 can feel some sort of uniqueness, having a 4 wing.
3 and 4 are both image type, they create an idealized image in order to compensate their self image, that is primarily negative.
The difference between them is that 4 (yes, even 4w3 !) always fall short, while 3 (yes, even 3w4 !) identify with this idealized image. Thus the passion of envy for the 4, and the passion of deceit for the 3.

3w4 can be very narcissist indeed in that they believe in their idealized identity. As this identity fits what pleases them, they are assertive, and when unhealthy, the gap between what they believe they are and what they really are can be big. And the narcissism shows. I'd say this is especially true in 3 So, who wants to be seen as successful, less so with Sp (and even Sx ?).

With 4w3, there is this idealized image also, but while partially using the 3 mecanism, they always fall short. They are more honest in how they see themselves, thus the drama, the strong emotions. I'd say 4 Sx in general is the most prone to narcissism, as they deny their feeling of inferiority (it's under the surface though, and that's why they are so reactive). But a 4w3 So or Sp may not seem this way, not so blatantly. There is a sort of narcissism in that they still are self absorbed, auto-referencial, fascinated by themselves and elitist, but it usually doesn't come in affirming they are superior.

Usually it's 3 that is associated with narcissism, but Naranjo associates it with 7. As an hedonist with an assertive, positive personality, 7 may think of themselves highly, while not being as concerned by their image as a 2, a 3 or a 4.

As for 2 : I feel that they can be narcissistic as well, as they believe what they do (whatever it is) makes them entitled to be loved. 2's passion is pride and it doesn't seem so far from narcissism.
 

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Wait, so, how does one 4w3? Like for is an awareness of all your flaws and 3 is not. It's like you are filled yet empty. That's what it sounds like to me at least.

Or how does one 3w4, do you hide your flaws but deep down have an acute awareness of everything you are hiding.
 

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I'd say there is the awareness of the flaws but I tend to do as if they weren't there. As a 4w3 Sp I guess the narcissism isn't the most visible. After all, 3 Sp is supposed to have a sort of modesty about them, they are doers but not braggers. I resonate with that : I try to incarnate, to become my own ideal, while knowing how vain it is and I usually am aware of the flaws even if I try to keep that behind me... until the difference between my ideal and me becomes too obvious.

This 4w3 description on Typewatch, states it rather well :


Underneath a 4w3's more fluid identity, their 4ness gives them an awareness of something truer and deeper within themselves that roots everything. Their 3 wing precludes people from seeing fully what is inside them including even themselves. However they know their personal awareness anchor is there no matter where their changeability takes them. They know on a deeper level their fluctuations stem back to a single consistent essence. Still, they wonder if they are fooling themselves.
(I really like it, as it mostly deals with motivation)

Your behavior can be somehow changing, adapting, but you are still rooted in your own identity. I can see my interactions as translating myself somehow, without the 4w5 "this is me so deal with it" streak.
Reading this makes me realize my w3 may be less strong than it used to. The first time I read that, I was so appalled by how precise it felt.
 

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I have 3w4 at the second position in my tritype, and the way that I think about it is that indulging my own individuality is the natural reward for working hard and maintaining a good public image. If I can succeed in becoming an expert in my field and gaining the respect of my colleagues, then people will give me the leeway to be myself a little more, and that makes all the struggle worth it. If anything I would say that it is a very humble outlook, since it understands that your personal idiosyncrasies are subordinate to functioning in the world.
 

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No. Those are the 4w5s. 4w3s constantly think they're 3s cause of the shitty 4 descriptions that cater mostly to the 4w5s. It's always been the 4w3s and 3w2s that have been linked to narcissism not 3w4s.
Why would it 4w3s and 3w2s be linked to narcissism but not 3w4. That seems so arbitrary.
 

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Or how does one 3w4, do you hide your flaws but deep down have an acute awareness of everything you are hiding.
Completely accurate in my case. And I think 3w4's tend to be more aware of their flaws than 3w2's, who tend to be more emotionally stable and genuinely self-confident. 3w4's self-esteem tends to be much more unstable (especially if Sx-dom).

But, anyway, I don't think narcissism is exclusive to 3w4's, although heart types are the most prone to it due to their focus on image and identity. 7's can be narcissists too but less seriously I guess, since identity isn't their main focus because they're a head type.
 

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Well, @caffeineandcrows assumed the subjective aspect of her vision of the type in her answer. She said "I see 3w4" and not "3w4 are".
And spontaneously I tend to see it in that way, too. She didn't write a lot about her vision of 3w4 anyway. It's just the first sentence, the rest is about 4w3.
 

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Usually it's 3 that is associated with narcissism, but Naranjo associates it with 7. As an hedonist with an assertive, positive personality, 7 may think of themselves highly, while not being as concerned by their image as a 2, a 3 or a 4.
I find it very interesting that you bring up 7's association with narcissism. A friend of mine of had to complete a psych analysis for their job, and it was determined that they were prone to developing narcissism personality disorder. They're typed as a 7 (I'm guessing he's a w8).
 
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