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Discussion Starter #1
I used to think I was 3w4 and most people agreed, but I don't know anymore.It seems to me that when I'm relatively happy and confident I'm more 3-ish and when I feel everything is lost I get more 4-ish and I start thriving on my misfortune, identifying with tragic heroes and romanticising everything.
How can I tell for sure?
 

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Discussion Starter #2
No one? :'(
Maybe this will help
http://personalitycafe.com/whats-my-enneagram-type/157916-i-need-help-finding-my-enneagram-type.html
 

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Discussion Starter #3
:-( Please help, I'm begging you.I want to at least be sure about my enneagram if I can't be about MBTI
 

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I'll try:

What do you enjoy more:

Stories/movies/etc about success despite all the odds(think Rocky)
or
Stories/movies/etc about the highly talented people that are brought low(even corrupted!) due to their nature?

Also:

What do you look for:

Success achieved in the common way
or
Success achieved in the uncommon way?

Also:

Success
or
Identity

Whichever ends up on top should be your core, that is the first number. The lesser becomes the wing. No explanations needed, hell no reply needed! These are just some questions to have in mind.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
What if 2 years ago my answers were the exact opposite of my current answers?
 

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Hm...

You change? Nothing is permanent.

oh and one rather interesting juxtaposition:

Uncommon/unique fail
or
Common success?
 

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Discussion Starter #7
First common success and then unique fail.
 

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Because of the noun after the adjective or because of the adjective itself? I could've(perhaps should've) said common x/uncommon y.

Anyhow, it seems to me you are more of a 3w4. Just a hunch.

edit: oh I forgot! Are you introduced to the cognitive functions?
 

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Discussion Starter #9
I want to be conventionally successful, like well known, big house, yacht , rich husband and things like that and then I want something bad happening to me or should I say, do something bad.Perhaps that tragic end wouldn't be on my mind if I actually succeeded though. As I already said, I get more 4-ish when I'm kind of depressed which leads me in deeper depression, but I guess it will go away.

And yes, I'm introduced to cognitive functions, but what do they have to do with this?
 

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Discussion Starter #11
I already did.The link is in this very thread.
 

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What do they have to do this you ask?

Well, the shadow functions perhaps? Total changes under stress? I am pretty sure that you are 4wX(not sure about 3) under stress, while you are 3w4 otherwise. Or as you yourself said(and TWICE at that!):

"I get 4-ish WHEN I get DEPRESSED"
and
"...WHEN I feel that everything is lost, I get 4-ish"
(see the pattern here?)

The exact same thing as NeFiTeSi becoming SeTiFeNi under stress. Listen to the 140 IQ guy when he says that everything is about rotations of this or that kind.

heh, you answered it yourself without even knowing it ;)
 

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Also everyone gets "4ish" when theyre depressed because type 4 descriptions are incorrectly correllated with the clinical illness of depression and/or temporary emotional state of sadness which happens to everyone.

http://personalitycafe.com/type-4-forum-individualist/168990-depression-4s-correlation-over-identification.html

That is just a comment on the general idea of "4ish" being a state someone is in when they're depressed. In reality '4ish' means a whole other thing; it's a lifetrap. This is not meant as a commentary on your specific type since I haven't read your thread yet.

I'm a core 4 and I'm not depressed. I get sad, I get angry, I get calm. When I'm at my worst I look more like an 8 than a depressed 4ish description, which is why I mistyped at 8 for 9 months.
 

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http://web.archive.org/web/20120511233343/************************************heart-triad/6608-yukawas-enneagram-series-type-three.html

Read this, I promise it's worth the read. If you don't identify with this, then you're probably a 4w3.

3s ignore their feelings and distract themselves with their goals and tasks at hand. Why do you want a yacht and big house? For your own comfort/enjoyment or to show it off? If you're introspecting you're probably not a 3 either, having a look at yourself and trying to discover who you are can totally tear a 3 apart, because everything that matters to you to you means your yacht, your house, your gorgeous husband. Although this might not even be what matters in the end, even though you worked so hard for it! That's the problem. A 4 loves to look at their feelings and who they are, building a personal image means making themselves who they think they should be or who they believe they really are. 3s on the other hand are more about building an image they know everyone will love.
 

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http://web.archive.org/web/20120511233343/************************************heart-triad/6608-yukawas-enneagram-series-type-three.html

Read this, I promise it's worth the read. If you don't identify with this, then you're probably a 4w3.

3s ignore their feelings and distract themselves with their goals and tasks at hand. Why do you want a yacht and big house? For your own comfort/enjoyment or to show it off? If you're introspecting you're probably not a 3 either, having a look at yourself and trying to discover who you are can totally tear a 3 apart, because everything that matters to you to you means your yacht, your house, your gorgeous husband. Although this might not even be what matters in the end, even though you worked so hard for it! That's the problem. A 4 loves to look at their feelings and who they are, building a personal image means making themselves who they think they should be or who they believe they really are. 3s on the other hand are more about building an image they know everyone will love.
I disagree with this - it's an overly simplistic view.

- All image types are concerned with relations to others.
- Both 4s and 3s, when unhealthy, are very concerned about the reaction of others to their accomplishments or their personal identity, or both.
- A 4's sense of 'authentic identity' is potentially just as 'fake' as a 3's sense of 'accomplishment' which is her identity.
- Any enneatype can be materialistic, although some types are more likely to manifest this way than others. However sp-4 is known to be very attached to their beautiful, self-expressive possessions,
- sp-3 is known to be an image type who defies the idea of image; her self-image is no-image.


The difference between 3 and 4 is, according to Naranjo, 3 is "The Marketing Orientation" and 4 is "The Masochistic Personality." No fixation and life-trap should be glamorized and simplified to "this type is real and all about who they really are" and "this type is FAKE and MATERIALISTIC." these are stereotypes and not what the type is about.

Every type is a starting point. Life deals you a hand and character is about what you do with the hand that you're dealt. Enneatype is part of the hand that you're dealt. They are all potentially real or fake; shallow or deep.
 

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Discussion Starter #17
I don't want to know who I am, but I can't escape introspection when there's nothing else to do and I have my mind filled with things I don't necessarily agree with.Introspection is slowly killing me and it could literally kill me in the end because I know things I want aren't right but I can't help wanting them because I really want a yacht to show it off, but my father tells me I'll never be happy that way which makes me think I'll never be happy, period.I surely can't be happy without a yacht and if even that's not gonna help, what's the point in living?
 

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That link is broken. Just saying.

See? I am correct. She is a 3w4. Pluto guy wins again :D
 

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@Living dead the link to your thread doesn't work but your last comment sounds like 3w4 to me.
I know a 3w4 very well and her introspection sounds much like yours. 3s can be just as deep and just as depressed. I hope you can get through it though, and feel like something is worth living for. Let me know if you can find the link.

@Ixim I agree so far
 

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I disagree with this - it's an overly simplistic view.

- All image types are concerned with relations to others.
- Both 4s and 3s, when unhealthy, are very concerned about the reaction of others to their accomplishments or their personal identity, or both.
- A 4's sense of 'authentic identity' is potentially just as 'fake' as a 3's sense of 'accomplishment' which is her identity.
- Any enneatype can be materialistic, although some types are more likely to manifest this way than others. However sp-4 is known to be very attached to their beautiful, self-expressive possessions,
- sp-3 is known to be an image type who defies the idea of image; her self-image is no-image.


The difference between 3 and 4 is, according to Naranjo, 3 is "The Marketing Orientation" and 4 is "The Masochistic Personality." No fixation and life-trap should be glamorized and simplified to "this type is real and all about who they really are" and "this type is FAKE and MATERIALISTIC." these are stereotypes and not what the type is about.

Every type is a starting point. Life deals you a hand and character is about what you do with the hand that you're dealt. Enneatype is part of the hand that you're dealt. They are all potentially real or fake; shallow or deep.
You're full of it lol

The article didn't work so I'm going to copy and paste. Apologies for messiness:


"They are driven and goal oriented, and value success in the particular domain in which they are invested more than anything."

"Achieving what they set out to do takes precedence over every other concern, whether they are physical constraints, those of class or economic origin, or the feelings of others or even of themselves."

"They often drive themselves mercilessly in their pursuit of accomplishment, and may be perceived by others as ruthless, calculating, and possessing a steely determination."

"Threes are pragmatic and matter-of-fact, doing whatever it takes to get the job done, including the use of manipulation and deception."

"For the Threes, the end justifies the means."

Taken from various books.

WARNING: This is a VERY long article. It was so long, vbulletin or Chrome crashed with "ERROR: OUT OF MEMORY" trying to render all the text that I had to cut a significant portion out. Thus, I don't care if you feel "TL;DR".

This article was meant for those who really, really want to understand what a Type 3 is all about.


Introduction

So what makes an Enneagram Three, a Three? Is it because the person is charismatic? Not necessarily. Is it because the person is a celebrity? Nope. Is it because this person is popular? No. Because this person desires a lot of attention and admiration? Not necessarily. Is it because this person lies? Oh, Come on now! To quote the great doctor, "Everybody lies." So what defines a Type Three then?

To understand what makes a Type Three, we have to, like with any other Enneagram Type, peel away at the surface impressions and stereotypes we often tend to unconsciously latch onto when dealing with types. We have to dig deep into the core, the roots of the matter. Most of us tend to look at the "side effects" of these roots and use them to determine the type, but unfortunately, we have to understand that the "side effects" are generally shared by other types. Thus, in order to properly determine and understand a Type Three, we must peel away the skin and meat, going straight for the inner core that defines their inner most Self.

---

Before I begin, I want everyone to understand that majority of the content written here are not my own perspective, but in fact, summary and/or rewording of the official works by various authors such as Helen Palmer, Sandra Maitri, and Claudio Naranjo (regarded as one of the fathers of Enneagram). Thus, if you say I'm wrong, you're not telling me that, you're telling them that.

I'm well aware, however, of how stale objective information can get, thus I will mix in my own subjective personal experiences to make the information more "relatable" to you guys. See, I'm a nice admin and as a Type 3, I genuinely care deeply for your concerns and feelings and will do whatever I can to make you all feel nice and comfortable throughout the reading.

Some Quick Points that any Threes would identify with:

1. The need to identify with personal achievements.
2. Efficiency and Success.
3. Competition and staying at the top. If unhealthy, eliminate all obstacles, enemies, and anything else that stands in the way through any means necessary in the name of efficiency (sabotage, killing, deception, manipulation).
4. Avoid thinking negatively and always think optimistically.
5. Capable of quickly moving on from a failure by suppressing it and changing it into something positive (relationship breakup, failed exam, etc.).
6. Avoid failure at all cost.
7. Never become in touch with personal feelings
8. “Do not think, just do” because thinking leads to emotional instability that will hinder the job.
9. Robotic programmed feelings replacing actual genuine feelings. Capable of fooling the mind into believing the programmed feeling is genuine and real. Capable of suppressing guilty consciousness.
10. If unhealthy: morals, laws, systems, and ethics have no place in this world if they hinder the desired goal.
11. Social chameleon. Do and act in accordance to what is needed to obtain the goal, no matter how much one hates doing it.
12. Confusion between real self and public image self.
13. Confusion between real feelings and programmed feelings.
14. The End Justifies the Means.


Childhood

Threes were those who grew up learning that one’s achievement was what determined the value and worthiness of one’s life. They may have come home from school everyday with their parents/guardians asking them about the progress of their school work instead of the quality of their school life. Abilities, performance, image, all of that were well rewarded, while deep emotional connection with others did nothing in return. Because of the lack of results from emotional connections and the strong reaction received from their work, Threes learn to suppress their own personal feelings, believing that they only get in the way of the bigger picture. They place their focus entirely on the objective criteria.

“What do people want and how do I go about achieving it? My personal feelings have no place in this. They only get in the way of the work that needs to be done. It doesn’t matter what kind of work I have to do. I must do my best to satisfy the needs and expectations of others so I can better promote myself to the level of prosperity and high prestige. Only by achieving such things will people be able to respect me.”

Yukawa’s Childhood

My earliest memories of my childhood was me being told by my dad that I would become someone great, someone who would hold lots of power, someone who would hold lots of influence. He had a lot of expectations of me, but I didn’t really feel the pressure of expectations back then. After all, I wasn’t really aware of what it meant to feel pressure. I was only three years old. Nonetheless, my dad always tried to teach me everything: English, mathematics, science, car mechanics, computers, etc., all before I even turned six years old! My mom often complained that my dad was expecting too much from a child, but my dad didn’t listen. He believed no one was too old or too young to learn anything.


When my dad wasn’t around, I found myself playing with toys and the likes. I just wanted to do what I felt like doing, what was interesting. My dad, however, whenever he came home, never paid much attention to me while I was playing around. Only when he saw me reading books or studying did he ever really pay attention to me. Only when I could correctly add or subtract would he compliment me. Anything I did successfully that he wanted me to do, he would praise. Already from childhood, I was beginning to learn that my dad would not care or even notice me unless I did things he wanted me to do. With that conclusion made as a child, I threw away my toys and began studying like no other.

I mastered my English Alphabets, Japanese Kanas, mathematics until multiplication tables, and knew how to change the oil on my dad’s Toyota. I did all of that before I even entered kindergarten. Anything I learned I placed a lot of effort to make sure I could do it well and could do it right. The better the result, the more impressed I felt my dad would be.

When I entered schooling, I was hoping to make lots of friends and meet new people. Sadly, I wasn't well liked in school. I was often bullied and put down a lot. Everywhere I went, I felt like everyone was giving me a mean look. It was like I had some great demon fox inside me or something. Thus, I became a pretty mischievous child vying for attention. This would soon change, however.

When it came to learning, my teachers often would ask us what the answer to questions were. All of them I thought were very easy and I was always confused why other students were struggling so much. Whenever I answered the question and got it correct, the teacher would always praise me. The praise I received was the first warmth I ever felt during school. It reminded me of my dad, how he gave me praises when I did something good.

I soon became significantly more aggressive and more confident. Every questions that were asked I would answer all left and right. Tests that we were given, I would ace all of them. Tasks that were given to us, I would overdo them. The feeling I got from the high marks and the high praise was getting addicting.

After a while, I found myself in high respect from other students and made "friends". This was, however, the beginning of my developing Fear of Failure. I realized that since I was at the top, it was getting harder and harder to maintain the status. I had to keep up. No matter how much it killed me, I had to learn and become the best at everything: sports, music, studies, art, everything. I couldn't bear to lose the status and respect that I worked so hard to obtain.



Motivation

Threes are generally very optimistic, believing in nothing less than the best. They attack every situation with high esteem, always believing that they are fully capable of accomplishing the task given to them. No matter what happens, no matter how bad some things seem to be, the Three will try his/her best to get things right. This sounds like many other types beside the Three, but the main thing that sets the Three apart from other types is their main motivation.

Threes are driven by the fact that the world moves because of what everyone does, not what everyone feels or thinks. In history, they understand that people are rewarded by their accomplishments, not necessarily by who they are. A historical person is renowned for doing this or doing that and thus they are respected. A Three acknowledges this and makes this ideal his/her own way of life, to accomplish something that wins the attention and respect of others. After all, you never read in the history book about someone who was just nice, because who they are is not important.

Threes begin to identify with what is prestigious, with what the people and their environment views as amazing or respectable if accomplished. If they grew up in an environment where a basketball player is the viewed in the highest regard, they will pour all of their time and energy into becoming the greatest basketball player. If it’s piano, they will do the very same. As well as any other field. It is whatever their childhood environment views as prestigious and high class.


For a Three, the hardwork, the energy and the time needed, and the amount of dedication needed to perform a job is not something they think about because Threes tend to shove such concerns aside. Even if a job was boring, they would tune that out and continue to work hard because the only thing that matters is that the job gets done. The end result of a Three’s work will, more than enough, make up for the mundane process. Thus, Threes tend to focus solely on the end result, on the goal. If becoming good at something takes time, so be it. Time and energy does not matter, because the end result is what matters. The end result is what people care about. As long as people care about it, the Three will always be motivated to work strongly towards that goal.

With their strong rejection of personal feelings and strong attachment to meeting their goal, Threes tend to avoid activities that allow for introspection to kick in, such as relaxing in at a beach, relaxing in a quiet room, or relaxing anywhere that doesn’t occupy their mind’s attention away from their personal self. They try to max out their schedule as much as possible to avoid personal introspection. As long as their mind is focused on work or any form of activity, they would never have to deal with personal thoughts or depression. The reward provided by work provides major relief for a Three, similar to the effects of “drowning out sorrows” with alcohol. Thus, while alcoholics relieve themselves from their pain through drinks, Threes relieve themselves from their personal issues through a busy schedule and hard work, earning Threes the title of “Workaholics”.

Yukawa’s Motivation

Throughout my school life from elementary to high school, I never cared much for individuality. Believe it or not, I wanted to become an artist when I was younger, but I quickly suppressed that desire. I began realizing people or society for that matter did not hold artists in high prestige. If I pursued that career, there was no way I was going to get far in life and earn the attention and respect of everyone.

Instead, I spent most of my life learning what the popular and high class roles were. I learned that things like leadership, business owners, lawyers, doctors, and the likes were all roles that people respected a lot. They made lots of money and the jobs they work at require a lot of hard work and time to achieve and not anyone can just become one. I felt that if I became one of those roles, surely I would obtain a prestige status that anyone would respect.

Most people wanted those positions because it looked cool. For me, I didn’t care about that. I wanted those positions because I wanted, not fame, but a sense of self-worth. That I exist. I wanted people to acknowledge me. I wanted my parents to acknowledge me. I wanted to become the best and make everyone in my area recognize me as someone. That my meaning in this world is purposeful. Purpose was dictated by how much people respected you and thus, the better my achievements, the better I can measure my own worth.

Thus, I spent most of my school life doing things I didn’t like or care for, but I did them because of what they offered for my life. Other people often complained, saying “What’s the point of this? How am I going to use this in my life?” For me, I didn’t question it. I didn’t care. All I knew was that schools want students to get high grades and those who got high grades moved up to higher level of prestige. I didn't care about the logic behind it, the meaning, or whether or not I enjoyed it. That was the result and that was clear. No amount of whining or complaining about a task would ever compare to the rewards that one would receive. My general mindset was, “You think studying is stupid and rather be playing? That’s cool, bro. Don’t come whining how the world sucks or how society is shitty because you’re too under-qualified to get a job in the future.”


An example of a 3w4 who grew up learning that he must do what he can to earn the respect of his father. He understands his father expects nothing less and carries high expectations and it is up to the 3w4 to meet those expectations. The 3w4 completely suppresses his own desires and needs and instead makes the desires of others his own. It becomes his new motivation in life.




Fear of Failure

Unlike alcoholics, obtaining rewards is not something as easy as taking a bottle and drink. The Three is forced to keep strong attention towards his/her work in order to make sure it does not fall apart. If they do fall apart, then so does his/her reward and the relief it provides. Thus, Threes' biggest fear in their life is Failure.

Now, you may think, “Isn’t everyone afraid of failing? What makes a three so special?”

Failure defined by a Three doesn’t necessarily mean anything that goes wrong. It only has a major impact on Three when it concerns a merit or a goal that the Three had his/her eyes focused on. If a Three has strong focus on getting a project finished, then any other failure of the Three that isn’t related to the success of the project doesn’t mean anything. Only failure that affects the project itself will be a cause of concern for the Three. Thus, to the Three, their fear of failure is due to its inhibition towards the goal, because if that goal is not achieved, there is no reward, without reward, they are forced to deal with personal issues that they have been suppressing for so long, and for a Three, dealing with their personal issue is akin to the end the world. This whole issue is what separates Three from other Enneagram types.

Yukawa’s Fear

Back in High school, I held the position of Student Council President and as such, I was highly expected to bring the best out of the school. Student Councils in Japan work much differently than in the US. In Japan, they have actual power to change the rules of the school and reform how budgeting and the likes operate. If the student council employs a policy against bullying, they have the power to do so. The student council’s will is generally re-enforced by the student mediation unit (more like the police unit). They had the power to punish other students for wrong doing based on the legislation placed by the student council.

The success of my job as student council president was extremely important to me. It was one of my tickets towards an excellent resume for applying to a prestigious university. I was constantly worried, however, that something would go wrong. I didn’t trust anyone in the council. I didn’t trust their capabilities. I was constantly managing and overseeing council work day in and day out to make sure everything went according to plan. When there was a slip up, I would become really angry and sometimes even a bit violent.

I spent countless hours working, having very little time for rest and sleep. In the end, I was well respected and well rewarded, but at the cost of my physical health.


An example of a 3w4 who was ordered by his father to become close friends with a 7w6 for business relations development. He, however, felt insulted when he was told that his abilities were "overestimated" resulting in him feeling like a complete failure, thus he reacts very violently. Due to pressure from his father, however, he cools himself trying to understand that no matter what happens, how much he hates the guy, he must remain calm and deal with the 7w6 for the sake of business partnership between his company and the 7w6's.




Concept of Deceit

Threes place selective attention on their positive achievements and reframe their failures into incomplete successes. Getting into action and competition is preferable to resting and relaxing. They also possess chameleon-like abilities wherever they go, be it jobs, parties, friends, and families. They take on the role that impresses or wins respect of the particular group. This is to further the Three’s own benefits and goals. Everything a Three does is for the sake of personal merits, not social harmony, unless social harmony provides benefits to the Threes’ goals.

Thus, Threes will do his/her best to achieve all the necessary expectations of a person that the environment has for a highly respectable person. If the Three does not understand what the qualities are, the Three will take time to observe and study various people, seeing who has a lot of attention and a lot of respect and mold those qualities into his/her own personality template.

Once they take on the image, they push themselves hard to make that image a reality or a “true” representation of themselves. The Three may become so focused on making the image a reality that they may become confused on what their real personality and mask personality is. They become so identified with their image that their true self may no longer emerge. In a sense, some Threes may be unaware when they are presenting an image. It becomes completely automatic and seemingly authentic.

Personal feeling-wise, Threes are able to reprogram their own feelings into something that they “should” be feeling. They suppress their own true feelings and instead replace it with something that is expected of them. For example, a friend is crying or depressed. A Three will play the role of a consoling person who cares about the friend’s problem. It doesn’t matter if the Three actually cares or not or if the Three even feels anything. What matters is that this is what is expected and if this friend has any useful merits to the Three, he/she will do what it takes to make the friend become better. Now, this isn’t just acting out the feeling. This is
literallyexperiencing the feeling as if it were real. A Three is highly capable of fooling him or herself into thinking that the fake emotion they are experiencing is actually true emotion and are genuinely feeling it. Thus, deceit for Threes is not necessarily deceit towards others, but mostly towards themselves. They constantly lie to themselves regarding their feelings and strive to genuinely believe in those false emotions as if they are reality.

This is also true in areas such as the work place where the Three will reprogram his/her personal feelings into what is expected in the work area. If work area wants a happy, optimistic, and charismatic worker, so be it. Programmable feelings are one of the core qualities of the Three. Self-aware Threes will utilize it if such programming benefits their goals in some way. Unaware Threes will generally end up believing that they are genuinely the image they are representing.

Yukawa’s Deceit

I grew up with very, very strict parents. Both of them are in high ranks in the corporations they work in and hold very high reputation from businesses to political, especially my dad. With this, they expected their kids to either do as well, or succeed them, because doing worse is just disgraceful to family honor! If any of you ever seen Ouran High School, the relationship between Kyouya and his parents is a solid and ideal example of a Type 3 childhood and is also pretty much the relationship I have with my own parents. As a matter of fact, I can’t think of any other character in any other series that represents Type 3 personality better than Kyouya.

Birthday celebrations never existed for me. Hell, I never even knew what a birthday was until I was about eight years old. My parents didn't believe in celebrating birthdays, always saying it was a waste of time and money and that there's nothing special about a day when someone is born. At first, I felt distant from everyone else who always celebrated birthdays, but then, I don't how, but my mind just began to train or tune it out. Every feeling I had, every thought I had that were negative, my mind would somehow warp them into thinking about it in a positive manner.

"So what if I don't celebrate my birthday? That makes me unique!" Or so I told myself. I would then keep on smiling. Essentially, I somehow learned how to “program and replace” my feelings. It’s weird, but despite that it was fake, the emotion felt genuine, like I was actually feeling it. It got to the point where I couldn’t even tell the difference between my actual and fake feelings anymore, but that’s up for another section of this article.

My parents didn't believe in celebrating holidays either, so I never really experienced things like Christmas. To my parents, all of these fanciful things are totally meaningless and waste of time that could be better invested into doing more useful and productive things. This philosophy soon drilled into my own mindset.

All in all, I came to realize that what I did and what I accomplished was more important than anything else in my life, even at the cost of my physical health and my mental sanity, even more important than who I was as a genuine person. My personal, authentic feelings soon became suppressed to the point where I didn’t even remember what they were anymore. They became so foreign to me that I was scared to even experience them again. Thus, my life became a massive busy schedule where I kept myself completely distracted with nothing but work and productive activities, so I never had to introspect about my feelings.

I lie(d) to myself a lot, just so I can survive. So many negative things happen and so many hardships to endure that I had to tune everything out and, to quote Nike, Just Do It! I didn't want to think about how tough work or school was, or how obnoxious someone was to me today, or why my cat was shaved with a blowtorch. I just wanted to get things done because I wanted to further my own goals for the sake of achievements and credentials. A goal that greatly affects how I feel in regards to my personal worthiness and how I can show off to my parents how much I have accomplished.

“I can’t think about how boring, dull, or hateful this job/project/assignment is. I just have to do it and finish it.”

Thus, ladies and gentlemen, Deceit for a Three isn't really about lying to other people a lot, but lying to themselves a lot. We try to trick ourselves about everything because the reality of it is, every time we try to think about what we really feel, what we really think, and what we really believe, we fall into one of the biggest emotional and mental breakdown of any E type.


An example of a 3w4 who explains to a 6w5 how he only presents an image or utilizes Deceit when he needs something or when it benefits him in some way. Otherwise, just acts himself.




Self-Defense Mechanism: Identification

Threes will generally attempt to identify themselves with their product or their achievements. Their office building, salaries with a lot of trailing zeroes, a beautiful/attractive wife or husband, a fancy expensive car, or athletic skills becomes part of who they are. This acts as a self-defense mechanism for the Three when faced with failures. They disconnect themselves from the failed project and instead associate themselves with something positive. The failures are quickly brushed under a carpet, hopefully never to be seen or heard from again.

Because of the Three’s dedication towards their products, they will also feel strong attachments to them. Thus, if their product is attacked, they personally feel attacked as well. For example, a Three excels in the world of baseball. If a person makes fun of baseball in any way, the Three may feel offended by it because it is within the area that he/she places a great deal of time and effort to become respectable.


What Threes Care About
Results, Efficiency, Pragmatism, Practicality, and Influence


(Is it just me or is admiration not on the list? *GASP*)

Threes have to be the best, otherwise they feel that they don’t truly exist in the world. Most Threes, however, always feel that they are second rated, that they are never truly number one, even if they present an image of themselves as Egoistic and Narcissistic. This image, however, is generally nothing more than an image. Threes are not true Narcissists like the Sevens as Threes are constantly living in fear of being #2, whereas Sevens typically have a more genuine carefree and happy outlook on life, allowing them to attach their minds towards narcissistic ideals with no risk of insecurity.




Many people observe Threes as being quite overconfident and prideful and those qualities may be true. They are, however, also viewed as egotistical and narcissistic, but this is far from the truth of a Three’s nature. If you truly believe a Three is this way, then you’ve done nothing more than fall for a Three’s psychological trap because they areintentionally trying to make you think they are to make themselves appear stronger and braver than they actually are. Their denial to being narcissistic is, more often than not, an attempt at reverse psychology by playing with your “holier than thou” mindset to make you believe that they are being in denial of not being narcissistic so that you would think they actually are narcissistic! Tricky, those Threes. They didn’t get the title of being manipulative bastards for nothing. Threes are especially drawn to those who like to preach a lot, because to the Threes, those types are the easiest to manipulate and control and typically exert a lot of control over others, which is beneficial for personal gain and influence.

Nonetheless, with Three’s Fear of Failure and their Motivations, it is logically impossiblefor a Three to be a true Egoist and Narcissist. Once again, true narcissists fall to the Sevens.

For the sake of having a relaxed mind, Threes are always on the lookout for competition and make competition their way of life. They keep themselves focused on anything in the environment that may contribute to their goals. When it comes to people, they see people as tools, what they possess and how they can contribute to the goal. They must keep their successes and image secured at all cost.

Competition can also bring out the worse in Threes, especially jealousy and fear. People who are "better" are a threat to their secured image and personal worth. Depending on the healthiness of the Three, they can react to the situation by quickly moving onto something else, work hard to become better, by sabotaging the competition with subtlety, or killing the competition.

An example of a 3w4 in the realm of competition. He tries to show off his business card to other people and hopefully hear praises or jealousy, but instead they all topped the quality of his card, causing him to feel insecure and angry.




Interest for a Three is typically goal-driven. The more there is to gain from a goal, the higher their interest level increases as well as their work speed. People soon become tools who are either deterrence to the goal or an assistant to it, nothing else. Obstacles, however, serve to increase a Three’s attention. The greater the obstacle, the greater the Three becomes interested in it. There are multiple reasons for this. A greater obstacle to overcome yields higher rewards and reliefs. Secondly, higher obstacles also means that it will be more difficult to overcome and a fear runs in where the Three must be the first to solve that obstacle before anyone else does. If obstacles start to become too seemingly difficult to overcome, drastic measures may start to slip into the Three’s mind. With Three’s constant desire to “do” rather than “think”, they may resort to the solutions that obtain results in the quickest manner.

This brings up another concept of the Enneagram Three, the concept of Efficiency.

Efficiency tells the Three to only value what is necessary and to only do what is needed. The Three must not be wasteful and must not bother with anything or anyone that isn't part of the anticipated goal or results. This goal is the most important thing. Everything else is either meaningless, an obstruction, or a mere tool to help one move along. People are to be used, not valued. The Three view themselves in the same manner and thus, there is little regard for Threes' personal safety, personal health, or personal needs. They are willing to sacrifice themselves just as much as they would to anyone else. There is no value; only achievements, only the goal.

The bottom line for what makes a Three in this area is

"The Ends Justifies the Means"

I don't think this phrase describes any Enneagram Type better than the Three, as every single Enneagram author out there uses this very specific phrase when describing the Three.


Going back to the subject of dealing with major obstacles, some unhealthy Threes can take the concept of efficiency to very extreme levels, such as sociopathic killing of opponents/competition, sabotaging of projects, manipulating friends and family, and just outright breaking the law in general for the sake of success and efficiency. Better yet, like Patrick Bateman, who is a prime example of an unhealthy Three seeking accomplishments to make himself feel more worthwhile in life by killing off everyone and everything who serve to undermine his potential of showing off his accomplishments to everyone and the higher ups!

Morals, values, law, systems, none of those matters. As an unhealthy Three would say, "We do what we have to do in order to reach our goal in the most efficient manner possible, with no failure whatsoever. And it doesn't matter how we reach it as long as the clipboard says ‘Success’."

Healthy Threes are able to calm themselves and assess the situation by thinking of solutions in the past that may have worked, and/or by altering the current solutions given into something else. It is said that Threes tend to be extremely creative in problem solving as they are highly focused on taking down an obstacle where most would have given up. To the Three, giving up is never an option as they believe there is a solution to everything. After all, a sweet reward is waiting on the other end of the line.

In the words of James T. Kirk (an E3w2, at least in the 2009 Star Trek movie) who sabotaged his Kobayashi-Maru test just so he could win, “I don’t believe in no-win situations.”


In that respect, I know many are going to laugh at me for this, but hey, I’m Japanese, so stfu:

Naruto is an excellent example of a Type 3w2 (albeit what a very HEALTHY Type 3 looks like as he develops extremely impressive Type 6 characteristics throughout the series). He is constantly working hard to reach the end goal no matter how much he hates the process of achieving it and is constantly vying for the attention of the entire hidden village, to be the greatest of them all. He learns that by doing something amazing, people began to respect him and thus made it his life style. Actually, when he does hate doing something, he tries to reprogram his feelings to thinking about it in a more positive manner (as seen in all of his training sequences). As his teachers have said, there’s something unusual about the boy, what would generally demotivate others, he would turn it around into something optimistic. Failure? What’s that? There’s no such thing as failure, only incomplete successes!

"I don't care who I have to fight!
If he rips my arms out, I'll kick him to death!
If he rips my legs off, I'll bite him to death!
If he rips my head off, I'll stare him to death!
And if he gouges out my eyes, I'll curse him from the grave!"

"My dream is to become the greatest Hokage, that way the whole village will stop disrespecting me and, instead, treat me like I'm somebody, somebody important."

"I didn't understand myself until I understood what having true friends really meant. It's almost unbearable, isn't it… the pain of being all alone. I know that feeling, I've been there, in that dark and lonely place, but now there are others, other people who mean a lot to me. I care more about them than I do myself, and I won't let anyone hurt them. That's why I'll never give up, I will stop you, even if I have to kill you! They saved me from myself, they rescued me from my loneliness, they were the first to accept me as who I am. They're my friends."
(Three, growth to Six)

- Naruto


He also shares the many faults of a Three. Jealousy of others who do better than him, constantly obsessed with what impresses than what he personally feels (until later in the series when he grows from it), overhyping his successes, ignoring his failures, putting blames on others, constantly jumping for the results instead of spending time to think about things more in-depth, ignores all of his negative feelings, etc.


An example of a 3w4 arguing with a 6w7. The 3w4 is doing anything for the sake of obtaining his goal. He suppressed his own sense of morals, emotions, personal desires, and even his own sense of guilt so he could complete a task for the sake of being acknowledged by his parents. It didn't matter what he had to do, as long as it was clear that it could be done and that it produced the expected results desired by those he's trying to please. "The end justifies the means."




Yukawa’s Personal Experience

Many people often referred to me as the "Stereotypical Enneagram Three" and most of that stems from my high school events.

*Bragging time* I was a 4.0 GPA student, student rank 1 out of 2000, student council president for two years, popular with the entire school, popular with the girls, and well respected by the high class, from messing around with corporate executives, to mingling in posh parties, to having dinner with Prime Minister Koizumi and members of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs.

These things, however, are not the reason why I'm a Three. It's a lot more than that.

I didn't have a lot of trust back in high school. As a matter of fact, the word "trust" probably didn't even exist in my little egotistic universe. I had to control everything that involved me in some way, because if something went wrong, I would probably flip out like a ninja at the drop of a spoon in a restaurant. I had to make sure everything was all right at all times. Any work I gave out to my subordinates in the council, I always made them report once every half an hour on the progress to make sure nothing goes wrong. If something did go wrong, and no one informed me, I was typically ready to beat a wall down into new floorings.

This fear extended out into a lot of things: relationships, money, homework, jobs, etc., that is, only if they have any connections or influences to my goals. If they didn't, I could've care less if anything wrong happened to them.

Everything and everyone was a tool to me, tools to reach for the grander things in life. For me, it was acceptance to the best college in the country. This accomplishment meant more to me than anything, more than the girl I was dating, more than me needing to take a poo, more than me staying in bed to rest up during a flu, and more important than world peace, and getting rid of bacon grease! Me getting into the best college was a big deal in my little universe.

Relationship-wise, I never had a romantic interest (I lie, there was one or two). Girls to me were just there for my status, for my image. I didn't give one shit about sex or anything like that. (Sex was getting boring by the time I was 18). I needed influence, because without influence it was hard to get anything done. I didn't care for admiration; I just wanted necessary power to advance my own goals. Thus, a hot banging girlfriend (Yes, Sakura, someone hotter than you) who makes the sun look worse than the ice age was needed in order to win support and attention of the male students. The female students also took more notice of me because a guy with a really hot girl must have something about him that's special. With my GPA, student rank, and awesome charisma that I developed as a persona-template for many years from observing others: landing a hot girl was easier than making my cat take a bath with its limbs tied up.

Friendship wise, same deal.

When it came to competition, boy was I ruthless. Science fair came long in first year HS. I built a tesla coil and did a lot of cool tricks with it and I thought, "Yea, no one will beat me." Then I saw a classmate come in with a project on this incredible idea of desalination. He was attracting lots of attention and I thought, "Well fuck you!" So, with my trusty brain and its endless sea of invaluable science knowledge, I secretly rewired the project into an electrolysis, pumping lots and lots of hydrogen+oxygen gas into a container inside of it. As the judges came around, WHAMMO! First place for me and with the desalination boy winning a trip to the hospital. I know it's horrible, but don't worry, I feel guilty about that now.

When it came to relationship breakup, sometimes I didn't care because her usefulness has ended. There was, however, one time when a girl, who I really needed, broke up with me and I didn't understood why. It made me feel absolutely terrible, not because I loved her (hell no), but because it made me feel like a complete failure. So, I got irritated and wanted to kill her (literally) as I had envisioned thousands of people pointing and laughing at me that an amazing girl had broken up with me, kind of like what I used to do at other beaten up kids when I was in elementary school. Fortunately, Miss Sakura here kicked sense into my mind.

I was different at parties. I was charismatic, warm, and very friendly. Sadly, it was all just an act. Parties, nonetheless, were very important. Everyone knows everyone there and all the latest gossips spread like crazy at parties. I had to go and I had to make myself known. I had to get lots of people to like me so they would listen and follow me. Thus, through many research and observations, I was a robot who had "Party Animal" preset at full power! It was so immense that, like a paraplegic gardener, no one was able to cut into my popularity and influence at my high school.

I was also warm and friendly towards those who I saw as potential for benefits of self-promotion. Every job I did, I was super friendly and many often had said there was no way I could be a bad person. Thus, every time something went wrong that were technically my fault, it was very, very unlikely that people would point fingers at me. After all, I was too nice to do anything wrong.


An example of 3w4 who "helps" a woman from being tricked by a salesman, but in reality he was working towards his own personal gain in developing better business relationships. Most Threes are like this. They "help" people in charitable manner only if they see personal benefits or gain out of it.




An example of the 6w5 pointing out that the 3w4 is just faking being Narcissistic and Egoistic, and sees that this image is nothing more than a front to cover the 3w4's true personality and feelings. As I had said before, Threes are not true narcissists or egoists. More often than not, they're just faking it to make themselves "look cooler".




Family Life and Intimate Relationships

As a child, a Three lives his/her childhood out in the expectation of the parents, friends, and others all around.

As a father/husband/boyfriend or mother/wife/girlfriend, Threes will live out the expectations set by the family if the Three identifies the family as a product. They will act out and carry a role that is expected of them by either their S/O or whatever external criteria they see that is heavily influencing. Thus, more often than not, a Three in an intimate relationship can be quite fake. Partners of Threes may view their relationship as perfect or ideal, but what most of them do not realize is that their Three partner is most likely not their true self and only acting in a way that satisfies the partner’s needs. Many relationships that involve Threes will probably never realize that the Three is purely faking as acting for a Three takes little to no effort to maintain. Generally, this is not for the sake of the relationship, but for the Three’s personal gain. After all, a happy and functional relationship / family is a brag-worthy one that would elevate the Three’s image to the public.

An example of a 3w4 who breaks up his relationship because the girl's usefulness has ended. There's nothing further for the Three to gain. As Bateman states, "You're just, uh, not terribly important to me."





Threes who become in touch with their personal feelings may become confused and irritated with themselves. There’s a strong conflict between authentic personal desires and the desires of external expectations. Perhaps the woman/man they married isn’t truly who they like, but the Three had to marry that person for the sake of image. Perhaps they met someone else who they truly like, but feel no one would ever be impressed by it. They wrestle with these conflicting feelings for an extensive amount of time, perhaps even grow more violent and irritable. How a Three deals with this issue is highly dependent on what the Three truly wants.

Some Threes, however, try to avoid emotional connections with their relationships altogether because their focus is more on their work. Emotions only get in the way and as long as the family is “functional”, there is nothing to worry about. If the SO is happy and if the kids are happy, all is good. Some Threes don't even mind if their SO is cheating on them as long as no one else knows about it to ruin their image. If cheating keeps the SO happy and as long as the SO remains useful to the Three, the Three will not care.

Yukawa's Relationship Experiences

I've often been told by women that for an incredibly logic-oriented and pragmatic-minded guy, I'm extremely good at receiving and juggling emotional related matters. Most girls they tell me that other guys are too rude, too direct, and make them feel extremely intimidated. Some of them even thought I was emotionally well-developed.

In the words of a girl who I used to be connected with, "It's weird, Kyo... you're direct, blunt, and serious-minded, but for some reason, you appear welcoming and warm at the same time. There's no aura of intimidation. I'm usually afraid to bring up emotional stuff with guys like you, but you handle it so perfectly..."

I don't think they realize how much all of it was just really good acting. I did, after all, used to work as a host at a nightclub in Japan. I don't need to be feely-touchy to reciprocate feelings. I just learn and see what other people do, how they act, how they feel, how they talk, and construct my own personality template out of it.

I used to get a lot of crap from people back in high school about how I don't act myself or how I'm just a "people pleaser". My response? Look at my credentials, look at my accomplishments, and look at what I have. You can say all you want about me, but I have respect, influence, and many things you'll never have. See that 5000 USD laptop? Watch this, I can buy it... out of my own pocket... in full. Ah, my teenage years how arrogant and posh was I.

I learned a lot about women's needs and desires, what they want to hear and what they expect out of men. From many months of observations at nightclubs, I was already constructing a personality that was well suited for pleasing women. Each women were different, of course, but all that meant was I just had to tweak certain aspects of myself. In my mind back then, people are all selfish and it's not hard to take advantage of that selfishness.

Of course, it never seems to work on Type Six girls


Very rare, however, will I meet a girl who I can actually put forth actual emotions into the interaction. Those are the only type of interactions I get scared of. I'm generally not prepared to deal with actual, authentic feelings within myself. When I meet a girl I actually like, I most likely will stumble a lot.

I'm much different nowadays (as I matured). I'm much, much more genuine now when I deal with women, especially since I've grown to really appreciate authentic connections with women. It has a very fulfilling and warm feeling to it. So have no fear ladies of the present, I'm not acting or playing. When I speak with you, it's the real me!


Leadership and Authoritative Roles

Threes typically favor the role of being a leader because the leader has all the control of the assets that are available. This allows a Three to ease his/her fear of Failure because it means the Three has full control of everything that occurs. Leadership is also often viewed as the prestigious role, which many Threes will strongly identify with. Threes, however, can also identify with being a strong team player instead of an authoritative figure. In those cases, however, the Three can be viewed as the unofficial team leader. Regardless of what position a Three takes, they will always push for productive operations that focus less on “thinking” and more on “doing”.

Threes in these roles emphasize the workaholic nature within them. They fully dedicate themselves to their jobs and strive to make sure nothing ever goes wrong. Their cautious nature allows projects to see to the end without many issues. Their optimistic attitude allows them to move on from any faults that may occur along the way as there is no sense on dwelling what’s wrong, only what is right.

Charisma is also another strong point in Threes in authoritative roles. They are able to present an image that allows for proper mood and enthusiasm for the workers, promoting efficiency greatly. Unlike other Enneagram types, the Three sees social image as an invaluable tool for production, not because it’s important ethically, but because it allows things to get done.

Unhealthy Threes in these roles may resort to underhanded tactics. They are likely to break any laws or rules that are currently in place to get what needs to get done. They may cut corners or execute short cuts that are against safety regulations or standard protocols. For these Threes, it doesn’t matter if it gets done correctly, it only matters that it gets done and that it passes the expectations.

As for my personal experiences, much has already been stated on my taking on of student council role and such and what kind of person I was. Though I suppose I could talk about my leadership roles at Personality Nation. Naaah.... too lazy.


Threes and the Concept of Hope

When doing, Threes are often completely immersing themselves in whatever they have set their attention to, sometimes to the level of absent-mindedness. They align their energy with that of their work to where work no longer feels like a chore, but rather a relaxing activity. This, however, can only occur if the Three has a peace of mind that nothing will ever go wrong. As long as everything goes according to plan, they can maintain a relaxing pace and work as if there is a sense of inexhaustible amount of energy.

For most Threes, it’s similar to a meditative state in that all that is in focus is the work and no negative or counter thoughts present themselves. There are no worries, no ill-feelings. Only work, the goal, and that everything is going according to plan. It is in this state that most Threes often find that they are in the best of mood. It is another reason why Threes are often workaholics.

Relaxing can have a counter-effect to the Three’s state of mind. Relaxation causes fear and worry to arise for a Three, that all the work that is left behind will not be able to function properly, that the projects he/she suspended will fall apart while the Three is away on vacation. Thus, most Threes tend to take their work with them on their vacation.

Back when I was more insecure, I used to be constantly worried about work regarding Personality nation when I went out for vacation. I remember Limit constantly telling me to "stop working and just have fun," but I couldn't have fun. I couldn't relax. Thus, despite being on "vacation", I was always on my laptop programming or fixing something. I went to the beach with my laptop, hiking with notepads, and ate lunch or dinner out with my books. Every where I went, I was always working.


Shifting from Deceit towards the Virtue of Honesty
(Growing to Six)

The Threes general lifestyle is typically surrounded by self-deception, that is they ignore and lie about what they personally feel and project this onto other people. They reject personal emotions, believing such concept are for people who have too much time on their hands or for those who are incapable of doing what needs to be done. They ignore those who preach the value of Self because they see that those who preach individuality are those who are susceptible to poverty, lack of prestige, and incapable of moving far in life.

“Why worry about what you want if no one in society cares? How do you expect to make money? How do you expect to climb high? How do you expect to do anything with that kind of mindset? Why care about your individuality and personal self if it’s useless and serves nothing more than to harm you?”

Threes, however, in reality, secretly desire this sense of individuality, but they lie to themselves saying that this isn’t true. They lie and instead believe that society’s expectations are their own. They willingly conform for the sake of promoting themselves. After all, being themselves causes them to suffer as their true self isn't what people like or want. There's no chance to receive love or respect that way.

Threes, thus, develop a sense of disgust and hatred for those who are “lazy, carefree, overly emotional, and lacking sense of work ethics”. They especially dislike those who “live for the sake of life’s meaning and individuality”. Such concepts are what Threes do not wish to become and detest it more than anything else in their life. The sight of a homeless person can be unbearable. A homeless person is a failure, a person who failed to do what he/she can with his life. Threes cannot stand the excuses made by failures either, as Threes strongly believe there is a solution to every problem in life and the constant blaming of others for personal problems is complete idiocy, “It’s society’s fault you’re poor? No, it’s your own damn fault you’re poor. You weren’t fit enough to survive because you didn’t use your brain properly. I bet all you did was party and have fun. I bet you were one of those people who constantly complained about work and studying. See where I am at? I’m rich, I have a job. Why? Because I worked hard for it and not once did I complain.”

Most Threes would likely say that the impoverish who constantly place blame on the governments are nothing more than lazy idiots who didn't try in school and didn't put forth enough positive and aggressive attitude in working harder. People who constantly want to blame others rather than working harder to get themselves out of their predicament.


For example, a scene from American Psycho involving the Unhealthy Type 3, Patrick Bateman, who dislikes homeless people because they are representations of who he doesn't want to become, representation of being a "failure".




They can also develop a sense of disgust with those who have the abilities to climb higher in life, but do not take advantage of it. A person who is rich, has a lot of open opportunities available, can become and do anything he/she wants, but this particular person prefers to loaf around and spend free time partying and frolicking about instead of working hard to promote him/herself. To a Three, such a person is detestable and idiotic. Threes believe a person should make use of all available resources in the most efficient manner possible to obtain the greater goal. People who don’t take advantage of the available resources are only wasteful and risk the chance of succumbing to failure.


A good example of a stressed out 3w4 arguing with a 7w6 about taking advantage of life's opportunities to promote oneself. He is extremely annoyed that this person, who has so many doors available to him, doesn't try to take advantage of it and become someone greater. All he does is play around and seek fun out of life. A Three has immense trouble understanding such a way of life because it greatly conflicts with their own personal view of what hard work means.




When Threes, however, do develop a sense of connection towards their inner self, it usually occurs when there is nothing for them to do. Maybe work slowed or they reached a point where it’s difficult advance any further. Perhaps failures have turned their life upside down and cause them to fall into depression. Whatever the case, when Threes finally become in touch with their true inner self and desires, they become confused and overwhelmed with feelings. Their mind feels to have come to a standstill, unable to focus on what needs to be done.

For a Three to deal with their feelings, it must be done slowly and gradually. They need to slowly learn to adapt to their emotions. Too much, and they suffer a mental breakdown, resulting in suicide or other forms of heavy depression. During the time when Threes are slowly learning to accept themselves, they may enter a period of suffering. Friends and family are highly capable of easing a Three’s pain through support and guidance. If they can assure that they will respect the Three regardless of what he/she does, but instead for who he/she is, then the Three’s emergence towards the Virtue of Honesty will be much smoother.

As the 7w6 character once said, "Why should I worry about what people think of me if I fail or not? I only care about what I want and if people laugh and point at me, so be it. After all, I have true friends who appreciate me for who I am, right, Kyouya?"

Any Three who hears that and takes it to heart will have a massive change in perspective of what life is all about to them.

Yukawa's Personal Experience in Shifting from Deceit to Hope

My fear of failure significantly affected me greatly over the course of my life and I've experienced this fear ever since I tried to do everything right to impress my parents. If anything goes wrong, sometimes I can't even tell if I'm still conscious of my actions anymore. It feels like massive rage builds up and my skin turns all green with me shouting, "You don’t want to make me fail! You won’t like it when I fail! GRAARG!”

I've hurt lots of friends with this fear, either because I thought they were trying to sabotage me in some way or were trying to take my spotlight away from me. I couldn't appreciate their successes because I was afraid that it would make me feel incompetent or worthless. Everything was a competition to me because of that. I had to make sure everything went according to plan and that no one else would take away any control or influence away from me.

Kind of like this, "I'm smiling for your successes, but you're encroaching very dangerously at my level of success... *slowly draws out a knife*"

Of course, I wouldn't use a knife. Now that would be silly. A GAU-8 30mm would be much more effective and efficient at eliminating everyone.

School work, Fear of Failure affected me a lot. I went to school every day, hoping to never miss a single attendance. Even days when I was sick (especially the flu), I still went to school because having a mark on my attendance record would have most likely made me commit suicide. I once went to school with a flu and burning at 101.7 degrees F, because I was so worried about getting all of my homework assignments turned in AND getting the next day's homework assignment. Of course, that placed me in the hospital after I collapsed, but at least you understand the determination that a Three has when s/he is faced with his fear.

Over time, however, I pretty much became used to my fear. I'm not really sure why, but I started growing more and more rebellious against my father during that period and I wondered if that had something to do with it. Maybe because I started not caring about my parents' expectations anymore, er... at least not as much. A lot of it may have to do with friends also. During my times of great depression, I lost a lot of popularity and fame amongst my peers.

A few good friends, however, stuck by me no matter what happened, even though I tried to force them away or hurt them in some manner. I think once a Three finally realizes, "I have people who appreciate me for who I am and not for what I do", the fear starts to diminish. For example, working with Limit, it was really damn nice to not hear him criticize me or anything if I couldn't do something right or if something went wrong with the server. I guess Type 7s are just special like that. I came to understand who my real friends and what the meaning of friendship was. The virtue of honesty and the meaning of hope. Genuine feelings and desires weren't so scary to admit anymore. As my 7w8 friend once told me, "You can climb that ladder as high as you want, man. Just remember though, if you fall, I'll always be down here to catch you."



Depending on how well this is received, I may or may not write another one. We shall see. I was intending to write a complete series. The amount of effort, time, and research (I had to read four different books to write this article), required to do these is very significant, thus I'd rather not waste my time if it doesn't generate any future interest.

- Yukawa

 
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