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4's: what enneagram types are you attracted to?


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Discussion Starter #1
I'm really curious about what enneagram types 4's find attractive. I'm talking average-level individuals of each type and wing... I know the wings add a big difference to different types, and I know, with some types, I'm attracted to one wing but not the other.

I wonder if a pattern emerges. Many of us are romantics; some even have a "rescuer" mentality, and I wonder if that reflects in the numbers... if we're prone toward types which are generally more extraverted or not. We crave acceptance, so I wonder if the types described as more open-minded types will get representation. However, some sx 4's like stormy, tempestuous romances, so who knows what we'll get. :D
 

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For some reason I find 6w7's (both phobic and counterphobic) especially attractive. Then, it's more of an issue of the types I find unattractive. There are a few I find repulsive. Other than that, I don't find type to be all that big of a factor when it comes to whose personality I find attractive or not. Instinct variant plays are much bigger part for me. I'm especially attracted to Sx/Sp's and Sp/So's (though the former is a much better match for me than the latter).
 

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Discussion Starter #6
"Firm" isn't really something I like. I'm an sp 4w5 who dated an sx 8w7, and let me tell ya... we could have had our own soap opera. The relationship was a huge power struggle, and he had quite the nasty temper. Controlling, clingy, and manipulative. Love/hate duality. Not my thing. I also dated an 8-ish sx 5w6, and even that was too much for me.

I want to try someone more low-key and peaceful, for a change. I really want to date a nine, but I don't know too many of them. Sevens would also be awesome. Sixes that can acknowledge my need for space. Something like that. :D
 
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My first serious relationship (2 years long) was with a 9w8. My next (and most recent) serious relationship (1.5 years) was with a 9w1. Both ended horribly and in a cascade of terrible, bitter flame.

*swears off nines forever*

I love them, but man, working out problems with them just DOES NOT WORK for me.

So... no more being attracted to nines.

In theory I could see myself being attracted to fives, sixes, sevens, eights.
 

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My first serious relationship (2 years long) was with a 9w8. My next (and most recent) serious relationship (1.5 years) was with a 9w1. Both ended horribly and in a cascade of terrible, bitter flame.

*swears off nines forever*

I love them, but man, working out problems with them just DOES NOT WORK for me.

So... no more being attracted to nines.

In theory I could see myself being attracted to fives, sixes, sevens, eights.
I'm sorry to hear this. You aren't alone. I definitely understand. I've had this experience with 5's (who also had 9 in them actually) and 9's as well. This most recently happened last week. I won't swear them off forever, but I will be more careful in the future. 5's so far in my life seem pretty good at shutting people out and 9's at shutting down at the first sign of conflct or something uncomfortable (which seems to be a lot of things). :/ I wish you better luck in the future!
 

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Discussion Starter #9
yikes... at least with the 8w7 we would talk about the conflict... even if we were yelling and screaming and being all melodramatic. sorry to hear that :(
 

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I like my love interest to be fun, pleasant, reliable, energetic, spontaneous, kind, loving, passionate about their interests and have magnetic chemistry with me and be attractive. It may sound superficial but looks matter a lot to me. I don't mean the person is the typical hot dude, but someone I can look at over and over and still be stunned by their looks and feel lucky. I like my partner to feel the same way about me so I make a point of staying attractive too. (And I just feel better about myself if I look good and take care of myself.)
 

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I am attracted to 7's, 8's, 4w5 and some 8. I am least attract by 3's and some 6's (however 6's are a very varied type- there are many exceptions).
 

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I tend to prefer types associated with extroversion, because I like extroverts.
 

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I am attracted to 6s and 9s the most ;-)

Although, my type 8w7 love interest is gaining ground ;-P

He is very INTERESTING!

By 4w3 SX/SP
 

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I've felt the most attraction towards 6w5, 8w9, and 9w8 in retrospect (8 and 9 is such an interesting combo). I think I had a big crush on a 5 too but I never got to know the person.
 
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