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Subterranean Homesick Alien
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11,928 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I'm not sure if I'm 4w5 or 4w3 and I'm not sure of my instinctual variants. I wonder if y'all can help me a bit. I'll answer a few questions...

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Main Questions

1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?

What drives me in life is experience, feeling, understanding, learning, searching, seeing all I can see. I look for the core in everything and everyone and I desire to connect to people and to my experiences on an intimate level. A part of me really wants to understand the universe, another part of me is aware that our human brains make this endeavor futile. I'm driven to create and to destroy and to find what's real. I search for what's real, for the truth, even though I know it's impossible to know the truth, somehow I feel inside me I can know the truth. I love exploring the unknown and the esoteric, the mysterious, all we don't understand

2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?

I hope to travel to as many countries as possible, to write some books, to help people face their pain and darkness so they can work through it. I want to learn all I can, learn as many languages as possible, experience all I can, perhaps write music even

3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?

I hope to avoid being dishonest and ingenuine. I try to be as genuine as possible. I hope to avoid being unintelligent or ordinary or uncreative


4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?

I suppose my biggest fear is not being able to accomplish all I want to accomplish. I have so many dreams, so much I want to do. I'm not the kinda person who can to the ordinary 9-5 job thing. I don't belong in one particular place. I belong to the world. I want to explore and learn and become as complete as possible, constantly transform. I feel deep down I'm meant to accomplish these things, but if I can't, what's the point of living? What's the point? Just to get an education, a job a family, work, and die? Nah, fuck that. I seek meaning

5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?

Admittedly, I want people to see me as creative and eccentric in a good way, as beautiful, as talented... I see myself as creative and odd, but not beautiful and I have doubts about my talent

6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?

I feel my best when listening to loud music, when absorbed in nature, when losing myself to the point spirituality, to the point of surrender

I feel my worst when I'm unable to absorb myself in what I love...in writing, in learning and exploring various topics, when I have restrictions placed on me

7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.

a. Anger for me is intense, but I try to hold it in, it's like magma right beneath the surface waiting to explode if it's prodded the right way. I tend to hold it in and plot to get even. If prodded I explode and may throw things or get physical

b. l experience shame in a way that makes me feel like sinking into the ocean and drowning, so I try to suppress it. I try to move past it, otherwise it's unshakeable and will surely drown me

c. It depends.. Sometimes my anxiety chills me, it makes me paralyzed like I can't do anything, sometimes it makes me hyperactive, my thoughts running wild and unyielding, unable to sleep, chaotic

8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.

a. When stressed I tend to get more irritable with people and more impatient, I may distract myself from it

b. Unexpected change? I like change... It's exciting to me, depending on what it is, but in general it's exciting. I'm very adaptable and I accept that life is full of unknowns

c. I try to avoid conflict and I tend to try to be tactful. When others are in conflict, I may get involved in I feel strongly about someone's pov

9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?

a. Authority figures never faze me. I've always just done my own thing never payed attention to authority figures. I don't like rules or restrictions placed on me because I like to be free to explore and create, so I may become rebellious. But oftentimes I'm just unaware of authority

b. I believe I seek power... I seek understanding and truth, the truth of existence and the universe and life, the esoteric. I think I need to feel powerful but my power comes from my mind, my understanding that certainty doesn't exist so I'm free to explore reality

I enjoy using my body and feeling its power. I even enjoy fighting, although I don't like hurting people

I don't desire conventional power, tho, like power over others or a group of people like being a leader

10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?

Certainty is an illusion but we're eversearching for the ultimate truth through religion and science and spirituality. We're chasing our tails, we're draining ourselves and the planet, we're an ugly species. We hurt each other when we should realize we're the same. We all have the same core needs and desires, we're all the fucking same... But we hurt each other and there's so much cruality

Humanity is a poison because we misuse it. Some people use it the way it was meant ot be used, for creativity, sharing, intimacy, and connection



 

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Subterranean Homesick Alien
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11,928 Posts
Discussion Starter #2
My reasons for believing I'm a 4w5 are that I search for myself through intellectual pursuits and I search for the truth through subjective impressions and feelings. I'm very withdrawn and have issues with people because I feel easily overwhelmed or like I'll lose something if I accept people into my life. At the same time, I strongly desire extreme intimacy, deep connection, to understand others just as I want to understand myself and reality

my reasons for believing I'm a 4w3 are that I'm very focused on my goals, extremely goal oriented. I'm not good with presentation, tho, or fitting into other peoples' standards for how i should look or be. I have ways in which I express myself like tattoos and piercings. Sometimes I like to shove myself in other peoples' faces to show off in a way, yet at the same time not engage them

So if I am a 4w3, maybe I have a 5 head fix?
And instinctual variants... I have absofuckinglutely no idea lol
 

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Subterranean Homesick Alien
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11,928 Posts
Discussion Starter #3
It's been raised to me I may have a 7 fix. I'm not quite sure about it. I relate a lot to tyype 5 so I'd say if I have a 7 fix, I'm definitely 4w5. I'm bumping this
 

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INFJ 4w5
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I'll say 4w5-7w6-9w8 sx/sp (Very strong sx-instinct, and xNFP, unless that's just the 7-fix, or vice-versa; though, I could also see 6w7 fix).

Yeah, reading some of your posts on 4 forum, you're definitely a 4, and I see the 5-wing. I can relate to a lot of what you said. Did you go by a different username before? I'm trying to place you since you've been around for a while. I really lose track of who is who when usernames change.
 
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Subterranean Homesick Alien
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Discussion Starter #5 (Edited)
I'll say 4w5-7w6-9w8 sx/sp (Very strong sx-instinct, and xNFP, unless that's just the 7-fix, or vice-versa; though, I could also see 6w7 fix).

Yeah, reading some of your posts on 4 forum, you're definitely a 4, and I see the 5-wing. I can relate to a lot of what you said. Did you go by a different username before? I'm trying to place you since you've been around for a while. I really lose track of who is who when usernames change.
Thank you for answering! I used to go by 'lycanized' or 'lykanized'

I relate a lot to 5 and 7 so it's very possible the 5 influence just comes from the 5 wing. I've tested as 5w4 on a professional test before

7s fear being stuck, which I relate to. The feeling of being stuck and unable to do what I want to do makes me feel horrible inside and I want to get all I can out of life. I have had nightmares that I'm pregnant because being pregnant you can't be independent or do what you want, but then you also have a child coming who will consume your time and energy, which sounds cold, but I'm not a hater of children. I just need to be exactly ready when I decide to have one

I relate to aspects of this 5 descriptions too
https://oceanmoonshine9.wordpress.com/fives/

I may not come off as such, but I am extremely introverted. Not just that, but I do have a fear of people intruding and taking something away from me, spending my energy and my resources. I'm a very independent person by nature and when faced with traumatic situations, I tend to shut down and not react at all in the moment which throws people off and makes me seem cold when I actually feel too deeply

Perhaps I just have a strong 5 wing. I've had periods of extreme introversion and withdraw and maybe 4 and 5 both pop up into my personality. A part of me is very power focused in an intellectual capacity, like understanding the world around me somehow makes me feel powerful, delving into deeply mysterious and esoteric topics to create my own vision of the world makes me feel powerful, but the 7ness can't be denied, I know. I'm interested in everything. I want to learn everything. It does get confusing since 5 and 7 have a connection, but I relate distinctly to that fear of living an ordinary life, of being sucked dry. Instead I want to get all I can

I'm wondering why you mention 6w7, tho
 

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Subterranean Homesick Alien
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11,928 Posts
Discussion Starter #6
The more I think about it, the more I believe I probably do have a 7 fix...The desire to get all I can out of life, all these possibilities and ideas, my desire to not be tied down to one place or label or anything, fear of being stuck in one place...
My belief in a 5 fix comes mainly from stereotypes of 5s being the intellectuals which is a fault of mine. I'm very much a lover of learning and I love to think about how the world works. I'm an observer, constantly thinking, constantly absorbed in my own thoughts and feelings. I get overwhelmed by peoples' demands and tend to shy away from dependence on people for that reason, but that again could just be 5 wing influence or even the 7-5 connection
 

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Subterranean Homesick Alien
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11,928 Posts
Discussion Starter #7
I suppose if anyone else has anything to add, that would help. I'm forever stuck between 7 and 5. Perhaps it's irrelevant for me to even try to figure it out and just say I have 7 and 5 influence in me. What's been most helpful for my growth as a person is realizing I'm a 4w5 and even instinctual variants to a degree. Although it's pure curiosity on my part
 
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