Just the kind of answer I hope for. What skill it must take to mold how others see you. I'm powerless there. Teach me! lol But really, I'm good with it. By the sound of how closeness, for you, doesn't seem to register between you and your interested listener, it appears you don't have an interest in developing a "selfless" relationship? Regrettably, that's the only word that would come to me. But it's like you said, you'll thrill and excite someone, but your energy doesn't always linger with the person for long. It flows wherever your yearning takes you, right? I think I know someone like that who is also a 4w3.I find that I can mold others' impressions of me. Usually I just don't bother, and I am seen as very aloof; when I am intent on charming someone, I can be very attractive and entertaining, using the 4's intuition (to read people's mind and be very sensitive to their reactions) and the 3's social confidence (to please and delight)... but here's the catch. The person who happens to like me because I put on such a good show, will always be kept at an arm's length, so while I can amaze and impress, I will never actually get close to people. The curtains close, and I return to my addictive loneliness. As a true 4 I am much more comfortable in my own head being my natural self-indulgent self, and the social persona I construct runs on a limited battery.
That aside, I relate to you on returning to the loneliness. Even after great encounters, it's like I leave empty-handed. Something's not satisfying about what I'm left with. And yeah, self-indulgence is sweet.