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4w3s, I've a Question. Let Us Pow Wow

2685 Views 32 Replies 11 Participants Last post by  FastFour
I'll be to the point since it's not a lengthy thought. How do people react to you? Answers will definitely vary, because of tri-types, Jungian types, genetics or whatever, but I want to know. Think of it as if there is a huge group of people who know the tendencies of everyone around them (kinda like a small village or island. or a broad social circle in school). Picture that this group of people is standing together and all of a sudden you show up. They pretty much have identified everyone one way or another, including you. How do they see you? What are they thinking when they see you show up all of a sudden?

I know, we're not mind readers, but I want the gist of it. We are an intuitive enneatype after all, so it's not beyond us to grasp how people feel. For me, the group would most likely think about how odd I appear. My distant stare, my deliberate movements, my choppy mannerisms and such. They may be thinking "he's often alone, so he mustn't have friends. we shouldn't talk to him either, lest we stand out as much as he does." They may also think I'm very selfish for not compromising my behavior completely. You?
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I don't try to come across any specific way -- I just try to be friendly because generally I like people. I only rarely have friction with people.
@unico Are you ever excessive one moment and conflicted about it the next? If not, where does your individualism lie? Do people pick up on it?

@nádej Is distance the main, or most usual, side of yourself that you show?
I come across as very quiet and stealthy and people often don't notice I'm here at first. (and this often bothers me as I don't like feeling completely invisible, I would much rather be intriguing and though I'm selective about who I want to pay attention to me, I want to be approached.)

But when I get closer to others, I definitely am noticed...get the feeling I'm often thought of as strange and that I can be outrageous, also have a humorous side. I guess people don't expect that because I'm so quiet and reserved and it takes me so long to come out of my shell and become comfortable.

But shell or no shell, I think I'm seen as sensitive and creative regardless.
I've been told I come across as intelligent and independent as well.
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I can go from being excessive to second questioning myself. I guess I don't see how my individualism relates to having friction with people... I'm a very unusual person with unique skill sets and unique creative productions, as well as just an unusual personality.
Depends on the person lol.
Some people eat up what I say.
Some people get very annoyed by waht I say.
Some people Hate seeing my radical opinions expressed (the other day it was "emotions go beyond the chemicals in your brain." i didn't think it was that radical.. but I guess to some people it is.. lol.)

It really just depends. I see a lot of people and I'm always the same. People have different opinions haha. Some people respect me, some others don't give me respect in the same way. I think most people have respect for me in a way, though, for the most part. I try everything to not be a douche or shady. Also, I try to make people happy when I can as long as it's just not ridiculous or selfish of the other to expect it of me. When they begin having selfish expectations and get upset when I can't meet them on their terms, I don't put up with it. The "healthier" individuals seem to respond better to my busy schedule and lifestyle.


I'm sure people see me differently across the board, overall. I'm a huge bag of surprises.
I'll be to the point since it's not a lengthy thought. How do people react to you?
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@silverlined I'd dig for more, but I'd have to reorient my aims as you appear to be 4w5. Is that so? If you are a 4w5, how are you aware of yourself in the social sense? I'm under the impression that 4w5s are much less keen on fitting in with a potential audience.

@unico What upsets you more; being misunderstood by anyone, or being confronted about who you are?

@iMaven 'Sup, GTO dude. So, SX/SP 4w3. I finally know a SX/SP 8(w9?) and a SX/SOC 4w3. 'Wow,' to say the least. Once I realized this, I became intrigued by SX-primary 4w3s. As a SX/SP 4w3, how do you experience the SX 4w3 energy? I'd explain what I mean by asking, but I hope you know to what I'm referring. The combination seems somewhat eruptive. Since SP is your supporting instinct, which is supposedly the one of the three that comes most naturally, that makes you pretty ahead-of-the-game, right? Makes me wonder just what kind of presence you have. Also, you said you try everything not to be a douche or shady. Is that because you're prone to it, or people are prone to misinterpret you that way?
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Well I took awhile to check up on these forums again... anyways. Here's the deal:

My lifestyle has to do with limitations in perception. I selectively expose myself only to that which is comfortable yet risky... must have an element of untouchable beauty... it must be familiar, but it CANNOT be mundane... and herein its represented in the fact that I don't have the patience to read all the posts in this thread, only to reply with MY idea and MY opinion and then run away to some frivolous self-indulgent distraction with a hidden fear: trying to avoid how people might react to my brazen verbosity.

The 4w3 will put on a fabulous show, then when night descends he runs away terrified of his own misguided second-guessing. The conflict of the 4w3 is perhaps more jarring than any other combo, but what do I know.

My mind is fixated on a tunnel-vision one track path and I ignorantly brush aside anyone's important/irrelevant observations in favor of MY burning bright vision that lights my own sole singular way... because I'm always horrified that I might be judged and my vaunted self-esteem can suddenly evaporate.

Self-preservation is as holy as it is paralyzing. And it takes a 4's self-loathing/obsession/awareness to really witness how this manifests in oneself.
That's fascinating, making me wonder about something. What you did was adaptation that anyone could do, but you also have a strength that helps you to move in rhythm with how you desire to act, or with what goes on around you. I can adapt, but the meaning of that strength you have, in regard to my differing strength, escapes me. I do wish I could do that, but I use my 4w3 energy differently. Yeah, it could be the adaptability of the instinctual variants for all I know. So, one way in which you use your awareness of yourself and others is to play any role that benefits you the most? And when you're not "performing," you return to that painfully self-indulgent fantasy world where you reflectively peel off your dead skin, so to speak?

And tell me about your aloof side, as people may see it. Are you seen by your peers as difficult, in any respect? Do you have a "reputation" (one assigned to you by people)?
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Well, it depends on the environment usually. Some people I'm not going to share all my insights or "energy" with, so to speak. I'll seem more reserved. I believe this is the sp stacking. but with the people i'm more comfortable with my energy comes out a lot more and I don't hold much in.. I don't really care what most people think about me, unless I have respect for them. That's probably the sx/sp. I'm openly competitive around people i'm comfortable with but not so if I don't know them as well. That could be the sx/sp haha.
I like connecting with certain people and having really chill circles whenever i'm kicking it with people. I'm cool with a bunch of people if they're cool with me but i'm less likely to approach them if I'm not interested in their character or whatever. i completely ignore some people in a room of like 8 people sometimes i think. maybe that's sx/sp.
It definitely makes my 'jealous' problems worse than most people, IMO. I seem pretty good on it now though.
I definitely create rivalrys for the motivation and enjoyment. I think that's due to sx 4w3, too.
I don't know if it's just my type 4, but I cut cold and withdraw from people who do me wrong. I don't know if sx/so would be the same. I don't see my family as much as when I lived a more "innocent" lifestyle.
maybe it doesn't have to do with my enneagram, or maybe that's why i'm not inclined towards that aspect of my life. they don't really have anything to offer my lifestyle or beliefs except challenges and antagonism. I just smoke (and a few other things..) and I know they aren't cool with that. I just wanna be authentic and talk about how I really feel. Not hold in how I really feel and beat around the bush because they have sensitive ears.
Not really sure what it has to do with lol ( but i think it's my enneagram and maybe astrology if that's real. haven't looked into it much cuz it's blah)

I guess i'm prone to being shady. It could be the sx/sp stacking that makes me more likely to take my time getting back to less interesting or people with nothing to offer. but i'm so much better about that now.
People are pretty selfish with their expectations though. I live a really busy lifestyle and I don't have but room for one person in my car on top of that. So I don't really mind when people get upset with me. I'm a lot better at speaking my mind kindly and trying to get them to understand. But i don't put up with shit like I used to in the same way.. lol
but i'm the least shady person i know lol.i be real with everyone about what I'm doin.
@iMaven 'Sup, GTO dude. So, SX/SP 4w3. I finally know a SX/SP 8(w9?) and a SX/SOC 4w3. 'Wow,' to say the least. Once I realized this, I became intrigued by SX-primary 4w3s. As a SX/SP 4w3, how do you experience the SX 4w3 energy? I'd explain what I mean by asking, but I hope you know to what I'm referring. The combination seems somewhat eruptive. Since SP is your supporting instinct, which is supposedly the one of the three that comes most naturally, that makes you pretty ahead-of-the-game, right? Makes me wonder just what kind of presence you have. Also, you said you try everything not to be a douche or shady. Is that because you're prone to it, or people are prone to misinterpret you that way?
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You're right, I am definitely a 4w5 but I somehow managed to overlook the 4w3 part in the title of this post.
I tend to be very self conscious and aware of myself in a social sense, which is strange because I'm not interested in fitting in. But I do notice when I'm awkward or when I stick out, but will usually take no effort to change this, I'm really not sure why I feel so self conscious.
@silverlined I'd dig for more, but I'd have to reorient my aims as you appear to be 4w5. Is that so? If you are a 4w5, how are you aware of yourself in the social sense? I'm under the impression that 4w5s are much less keen on fitting in with a potential audience.
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Well, I'm sure I might step on some toes by breaking it down like this, but... This is honestly how I see it. I don't mean any offense, and I'm not suggesting these generalizations apply to every individual. So, um... yeah. :confused:

When I open up...
- NFs usually see me as smart, funny, and kind-yet-opinionated. They may also think I'm odd, but not always, and it's usually not as big a deal for them.
- NTs usually see me as smart and strange-yet-interesting. I don't really like hanging out with them too much... It feels sort of like I'm a circus attraction...
- It seems like most sensors think I'm just weird and annoying. They reject me pretty quickly... Living in a small, 'far-right' town probably doesn't help...

Blah. I don't like thinking about this stuff. It's way too depressing!
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I wouldn't be so quick to link politics to type. Even here, you'll find many liberal S-types and conservative Ns.
- It seems like most sensors think I'm just weird and annoying. They reject me pretty quickly... Living in a small, 'far-right' town probably doesn't help...
Jeez, 7Legion77, your post here is verbatim what I've felt my entire life, esp "kept at an arm's length". Perfectly expressed! Bravo!
7, Do you think that the fact that you do it at work and it makes you feel like you're on stage (right?) is ideal for you as a career OR do you wish you had a less-people-dependent sort of job? I am a 4w3, and score as sometimes ENFP, sometimes INFP, so I'm right on the cusp. I work alone from home for many years now Some days when I have to go out and deal with people at work, I HATE them for interrupting my thought flow; other times, I want to cry when I leave their presence because my show is over prematurely. How do you feel about this in your own life?
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