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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
This is, obviously, a little different post. One day I was reading the descriptions for type 4s mostly here and here and because I recognized so many parts of me in the descriptions I copied the parts that I identify with for my friends to read in the hope they'll understand me better. I also added my comments, which are here in the [brackets]. Also added emphasis by bolding text.

Healthy Fours are honest with themselves: they own all of their feelings and can look at their motives, contradictions, and emotional conflicts without denying or whitewashing them. They may not necessarily like what they discover, but they do not try to rationalize their states, nor do they try to hide them from themselves or others. They are not afraid to see themselves “warts and all.” Healthy Fours are willing to reveal highly personal and potentially shameful things about themselves because they are determined to understand the truth of their experience—so that they can discover who they are and come to terms with their emotional history.
This is why I have the need for sharing and honesty] This ability also enables Fours to endure suffering with a quiet strength. [True. Although maybe some of that is being pushed out by the need for sharing] Their familiarity with their own darker nature makes it easier for them to process painful experiences that might overwhelm other types. [I'm not sure. I guess.]
Nevertheless, Fours often report that they feel they are missing something in themselves, although they may have difficulty identifying exactly what that “something” is. [For me it's social ease, above all, self confidence too. Before I often thought of myself as not normal, that I'm lacking something, just as it says in the description. Recently I've specified it a bit. And I think of this as less scary and a little more optimistic.] Is it will power? Social ease? Self-confidence? Emotional tranquility?—all of which they see in others, seemingly in abundance. [True, although I realize it's not completely true.] Given time and sufficient perspective, Fours generally recognize that they are unsure about aspects of their self-image—their personality or ego-structure itself. They feel that they lack a clear and stable identity, particularly a social persona that they feel comfortable with.
Fours typically have problems with a negative self-image and chronically low self-esteem. [......... true, I guess.] They attempt to compensate for this by cultivating a Fantasy Self—an idealized self-image which is built up primarily in their imaginations.
While it is true that Fours often feel different from others, they do not really want to be alone. They may feel socially awkward or self-conscious, but they deeply wish to connect with people who understand them and their feelings. [Truer words haven't been spoken.] The “romantics” of the Enneagram, they long for someone to come into their lives and appreciate the secret self that they have privately nurtured and hidden from the world. If, over time, such validation remains out of reach, Fours begin to build their identity around how unlike everyone else they are. The outsider therefore comforts herself by becoming an insistent individualist: everything must be done on her own, in her own way, on her own terms. Fours’ mantra becomes “I am myself. Nobody understands me. I am different and special,” while they secretly wish they could enjoy the easiness and confidence that others seem to enjoy. [....... true. I think this can be related to my need to be myself. When you are yourself you're self confident. Or is that just me?]
Want to express themselves and their individuality, to create and surround themselves with beauty, to maintain certain moods and feelings, to withdraw to protect their self-image, to take care of emotional needs before attending to anything else, to attract a "rescuer." [exactly what I'm doing here]
But, like everyone else, most Fours do not live at the peak of their potential. In response to anxiety, they turn inward, becoming self-conscious, particularly about the negativity they discover in themselves. To offset their negative feelings, they use their imaginations to make their lives more bearable. As a result, average Fours begin to withdraw from ordinary life. [Hopefully I haven't hit such rock-bottom.] They become self-absorbed and do not learn how to relate to people or how to manage in the practical world. They feel like outsiders, somehow flawed and different from others, unable to break through the barrier [Maybe not self-consciousness, but something like that, yes.] of self-consciousness that separates them from easy commerce with the world.
And if they are unhealthy, their negative feelings feed upon themselves because Fours have closed themselves off from any other influences. Unhealthy Fours are so completely alienated from others, and ironically, even from themselves, that they despair of ever finding a way out of their excruciating self-consciousness. They realize that their search for self has led them into a world of useless fantasies and illusions. Understanding only too clearly what they have done to themselves, and fearing that it is too late to do anything about it, unhealthy Fours hate and torment themselves, turning against themselves to destroy what they have become. [How poetical this sounds, but i think I haven't reached the bottom.]

Type Fours are focused on the image they present, as the image serves as proof of their uniqueness and confirmation of their fundamental belief that they are different than others. Every type is inherently weak in that they seek validation of their unspoken and unconscious presumptions about the world; Type Four is no exception, and having a unique identity is how they confirm to themselves that they are, indeed, not appropriately part of the world.
Fours are often called Romantics, because they spend a great deal of time in their own heads, contemplating ideal situations and fantastical possibilities that may be completely unrealistic, but are nevertheless emotionally gratifying.Fours tend to collect little elements of life that they desire – true love, heroism, perfect friendship – and blend it all together to create an idealized version of the world. [Indeed.]

They can be very withdrawn [Death to privacy! XD], as they feel the most comfortable in their own romanticized world. This means that Type Fours are deeply in touch with their own emotions, and feel secure in them. Even when they are upset, they are at home in their upsetness. [XD ^^ Hey V., *trollface* XD]
On the other hand, if a Type Four loses control of their own emotions, they may appear to act like an unhealthy Type Two. This would include unhealthy clinginess and neediness, as they have stopped looking within themselves for fulfillment and instead are looking at others. [ ._. ]

"Written" 7th of May 2012.
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