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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
This was me in high school:
http://i.imgur.com/VxqIHkX.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/KLV3R8d.jpg

This is me now:
http://i.imgur.com/AaNxYBq.png
http://i.imgur.com/sBMCckD.jpg

I was thought as a loser all throughout high school. I didn't have much friends, and I was constantly bullied. Girls didn't want to touch me, I was joke voted prom king and I just felt alone because I had an abusive father. It felt like I left home to escape a hell only to go to another hell.

It wasn't just the kids though. What kept me alive were my dreams, and I always dreamed of becoming an astronaut. My high school was very high select in terms of kids, and we had a lot of talented kids. A lot of Harvard/MIT/Stanford bound kids, one of them is Rihanna's back up dancer, another is doing cancer research, and I wasn't looked as one of them, or someone who had potential and even the administration would make fun of me and I knew it. They thought I was delusional with my astronaut dream. I really only had one teacher who I was close with and a father figure, and he never gave up on me, and told me there was a light at the end tunnel

I went to an out of state college and it was an amazing decision. I truly found my home, and got my first ever friends and felt cared about for the first time.

My high school reunion is going to be at my school with kids and teachers alike and GODDAMN I just feel I beat every expectation of me. My GPA is really high, I feel athletically fit, I have a really great friend circle, and I just feel accomplished ya know? Like after everyone believing I was nothing, that I was just some nerdy kid that would go nowhere, that I believed that myself at some points, I never gave up on myself. That I was able to beat those negative feelings and not let it overcome me, and when I compare myself to 5 years ago, it just feels so good.

I'm not going to brag or anything, but I definitely feel a new air of confidence and am really excited to see the teacher who was a father figure. And if I do meet my bullies or the staff that never cared, then whatever, I do feel I'm a person who as things going for me, and hopefully this good feeling stays, until I hit my dream of becoming an astronaut



 

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how awesome! i am sorry that your days in high school were not the best, but it is so good to hear that you feel you proved high school wrong! you look very nice now. i am sure that at least someone will be impressed. what is important to remember is that you should not hold others' opinions of you above your own, and it seems you didn't. you were proud of yourself despite your peers and now you have found a place to belong. good on you!
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I had to just give you a shout out. Congrats! You looked fine in your old photos to me. Sorry to hear that you went through so much.

Are you South Asian too? High five. Same here.
Yeah I'm South Asian too! Thank you!
how awesome! i am sorry that your days in high school were not the best, but it is so good to hear that you feel you proved high school wrong! you look very nice now. i am sure that at least someone will be impressed. what is important to remember is that you should not hold others' opinions of you above your own, and it seems you didn't. you were proud of yourself despite your peers and now you have found a place to belong. good on you!
Thank you so much!!
lol, go in there and:


fucking.

own.

everything.



good luck on being an astronaut. :)
Dude thank you. I'll try my best
 

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Dude that is sweeeet! You're going to feel awesome after. Congrats

Btw how much closer are you to becoming an astronaut?
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Ayrılık;13365242 said:
If you're still trying to impress THESE people,
After how they treated you,
Then you really aren't out of the woods now.

Your self worth and 'Highs' should come regardless of other peoples approval or awe!
Yeah I know. I know I can't force anyone's opinion of me. The satisfaction comes from the fact that a lot of people had low expectations of me, and I personally feel I beat those expectations, and living in a pretty good state of feeling accomplished

Dude that is sweeeet! You're going to feel awesome after. Congrats

Btw how much closer are you to becoming an astronaut?
Thanks man! So I'm still in undergrad and going an extra semester in the fall. This past semester my GPA ended up being one of my highest academic semesters, and I think I'm finally going to apply to NASA for an internship. After that I really want to try and hit up UCLA's astrophysics grad school, and hopefully my professor who I do research with and my academics can make me competitive for it.

I still got years to go, but I feel I'm making good progress at this point. Hopefully if I keep working hard, I can get it.
 

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Ayrılık;13365242 said:
If you're still trying to impress THESE people,
After how they treated you,
Then you really aren't out of the woods now.

Your self worth and 'Highs' should come regardless of other peoples approval or awe!
Exactly! The first thought that came to my mind after reading the OP.

But good luck and have fun in what ever your strive to do, who cares what naysayers tell you. Don't strive for anything out of a desire to impress or show up, or you may just end up at your intended destination feeling empty.

I also would love to be an astronaut, but ended up deciding against it due to the fact that I want a family, and it would require a great deal of time away from them.
 
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Great for you!

I felt the same as you in high school.

When i went to my 10 year i had a lot of people come tell me how much they liked me. Really surprised me.



if I could ask you to consider something. Treat the others with the dignity and respect you wish you had then.
 
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Ayrılık;13365242 said:
If you're still trying to impress THESE people,
After how they treated you,
Then you really aren't out of the woods now.

Your self worth and 'Highs' should come regardless of other peoples approval or awe!
Agree!

Exactly! The first thought that came to my mind after reading the OP.

But good luck and have fun in what ever your strive to do, who cares what naysayers tell you. Don't strive for anything out of a desire to impress or show up, or you may just end up at your intended destination feeling empty.
Agree!

Great for you!

If I could ask you to consider something. Treat the others with the dignity and respect you wish you had then.
Agree!


Now with all that said if I may point out to you fine sir that sometimes the grass is not greener on the other side. I am sorry for your troubles. I just wanted to say that I actually was 'popular' in high school and outside of it in terms of bullshit, I was unconventionally popular, not the cookie cutter cheerleader kind, more like the rebel without a cause kind, anyways which was where I was going with it. I just gained popularity as an unintended side thing that happened. Anyways do you know what that means... it means lots of people thinking you have it all and trying to step on you, trip on you, and rub your nose in their notoriety later at some point, and then thinking "I never personally made this person feel inadequate or teased them, why am I being spited against and put in my place as an individual because of something society as a whole".

I was more trying to point out that all that glitters is not gold. And the consequences onside effects to having social graces is sometimes to provoke spite when its not warranted. Theres countless threads for example on many forums about beauty privilege and money and status privilege, what people often do not seem to acknowledge is that people prey upon as well. This entire thread is an example of that, as well as IRL underlined behavior, one upping, side ways comments, manipulation, and if not someone spiting then often times its someone invasively capitalizing on "look I am with so & so" for notoriety where the people with so much 'privilege' end up being sought after with false pretenses or spited against. Its not always fun being regarded as a token friend or lover or having someone knock you down to size because of their own inadequacies when you have done nothing personal because they assume. Not everyone who has social graces is nasty or spiteful and deserves retribution.

If I had a quarter for every time someone tried to rub my nose in their successes.

Its not kind its kind of nasty.

Especially because whoever some of these people were in high school may not be who they are now. You know life has a way of slapping people in the face all on their own without the successes of others being smeared in as well.
 

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Ugh, comments like these make me glad to await retirement. I personally see nothing wrong with sharing success to inspire others. There's pleasure in doing what others say you can't do. ;) if people are upset that you're stating what you've accomplished, too bad.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Exactly! The first thought that came to my mind after reading the OP.

But good luck and have fun in what ever your strive to do, who cares what naysayers tell you. Don't strive for anything out of a desire to impress or show up, or you may just end up at your intended destination feeling empty.

I also would love to be an astronaut, but ended up deciding against it due to the fact that I want a family, and it would require a great deal of time away from them.
Thanks dude! And nah this kind of satisfaction is pretty personal for me. I don't know I feel it's analogous to someone like Rocky, or at least his drive and motivation. Just the idea that you are doubted upon and told you can't do anything, and then not giving up on yourself and being able to start doing it. It's a really amazing feeling and that's what is driving me.

Great for you!

I felt the same as you in high school.

When i went to my 10 year i had a lot of people come tell me how much they liked me. Really surprised me.



if I could ask you to consider something. Treat the others with the dignity and respect you wish you had then.
Thanks man! And yeah dude I agree. I'm not going to act nasty or anything, and will come in with an open mind. I realize it was 5 year ago, and trying to get "even" isn't the mature way. I'm still down to be friends with some people who I haven't been with, and I'm also down to ignore their opinion if they do get a bit bullyish


Agree!



Agree!



Agree!


Now with all that said if I may point out to you fine sir that sometimes the grass is not greener on the other side. I am sorry for your troubles. I just wanted to say that I actually was 'popular' in high school and outside of it in terms of bullshit, I was unconventionally popular, not the cookie cutter cheerleader kind, more like the rebel without a cause kind, anyways which was where I was going with it. I just gained popularity as an unintended side thing that happened. Anyways do you know what that means... it means lots of people thinking you have it all and trying to step on you, trip on you, and rub your nose in their notoriety later at some point, and then thinking "I never personally made this person feel inadequate or teased them, why am I being spited against and put in my place as an individual because of something society as a whole".

I was more trying to point out that all that glitters is not gold. And the consequences onside effects to having social graces is sometimes to provoke spite when its not warranted. Theres countless threads for example on many forums about beauty privilege and money and status privilege, what people often do not seem to acknowledge is that people prey upon as well. This entire thread is an example of that, as well as IRL underlined behavior, one upping, side ways comments, manipulation, and if not someone spiting then often times its someone invasively capitalizing on "look I am with so & so" for notoriety where the people with so much 'privilege' end up being sought after with false pretenses or spited against. Its not always fun being regarded as a token friend or lover or having someone knock you down to size because of their own inadequacies when you have done nothing personal because they assume. Not everyone who has social graces is nasty or spiteful and deserves retribution.

If I had a quarter for every time someone tried to rub my nose in their successes.

Its not kind its kind of nasty.

Especially because whoever some of these people were in high school may not be who they are now. You know life has a way of slapping people in the face all on their own without the successes of others being smeared in as well.
I'm not saying that they didn't have their troubles of their own becuase they did, but that's completely independent of them trying to bully and belittle others. I know their lives aren't ideal but I don't think that's an excuse for them to take it out and try to bully others. I know back in my high school there was a sect of people who were the ones who took the blunt force of negative energy from another group of people and that wasn't cool. That's what made high school awful for me, and really all I wanted was that to not happen.

All in all I'm not going to try and one up them because I know some will have the same opinion of me, and trying to force them to think otherwise is pointless. What makes me feel good is the fact that I do feel a bit like Rocky, and I feel that I was able to beat my own negative expectations that I had, and I didn't give up on myself.

you're still a loser if you have to log on to an mbti to boast about your little success.
Eh, beats going on an MBTI forum to try and insult someone imo
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Ugh, comments like these make me glad to await retirement. I personally see nothing wrong with sharing success to inspire others. There's pleasure in doing what others say you can't do. ;) if people are upset that you're stating what you've accomplished, too bad.
It is what it is. People can have their own opinion and I can't change that, and if anything it's good practice if I were to come across those bullies from my past. So whatevs, I know I still feel good about what I've done so far
 

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umm, at least you have a reunion...
high school dropouts ftw!

you'll find that you'll be disappointed because people won't care that you're doing what you're supposed to have done anyhow...
self worth won't be had from showing other people up...
 

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All in all I'm not going to try and one up them because I know some will have the same opinion of me, and trying to force them to think otherwise is pointless. What makes me feel good is the fact that I do feel a bit like Rocky, and I feel that I was able to beat my own negative expectations that I had, and I didn't give up on myself.
Ok well I would say what I already said which is that I think its sad you went thru that and that it was not merited.

That said your a grown adult hanging onto behavior that adolescents did.

I am not defending their behavior. I am trying to put into perspective that just as you have changed other people change.

I do not think that taking low blows at people by trying to boast is an exhibit of power but rather weakness even if the people may have done something prior to merit.

I think you will end up feeling inadequate still to be honest. You will come off over compensating success and will project inferiority which will just make people think your trying to hard.

So if it comes off that I am defending your bullies that was not my intention I am trying to put the big picture into perspective here that it will be callus behavior for an adult to do to people years later even if they were terrible people, and it will in the end up to make you look over compensating and more like a tool then a self assured confident person.

I honestly don't get for example why you want to go to your high school reunion if the people were so terrible to prove anything.

Further more I would like to say that tho I said I was popular in high school it was not seeked but just happened after many years of moving to many schools (some of which I had been bullied at in junior high) and do you know how that happened, because I did not give a fuck what anyone thought of me by the point of going to that high school, I was not trying to compensate or prove anything to groups of people, that was the ironic thing. (and for the record I was never a bully in high school I had moved way too many times and been an outcast in younger years enough to never do that).

Anyways I wish you well regardless.

Proceed with caution the less you try and prove the more you will ironically prove. Success with people in social settings alone is not in accolades, presentations, or certifications alone, its in self confidence at the core.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Ok well I would say what I already said which is that that I think its sad you went thru that and that it was not merited.

That said your a grown adult hanging onto behavior that adolescents did.

I am not defending their behavior. I am trying to put into perspective that just as you have changed other people change.

I do not think that taking low blows at people by trying to boast is an exhibit of power but rather weakness even if the people may have done something prior to merit.

I think you will end up feeling inadequate still to be honest. You will come off over compensating success and will project inferiority which will just make people think your trying to hard.

So if it comes off that I am defending your bullies that was not my intention I am trying to put the big picture into perspective here that it will be callus behavior for an adult to do to people years later even if they were terrible people, and it will in the end up to make you look over compensating and more like a tool then a self assured confident person.

I honestly don't get for example why you want to go to your high school reunion if the people were so terrible to prove anything.

Further more I would like to say that tho I said I was popular in high school it was not seeked but just happened after many years of moving to many schools (some of which I had been bullied at in junior high) and do you know how that happened, because I did not give a fuck what anyone thought of me by the point of going to that high school, I was not trying to compensate or prove anything to groups of people, that was the ironic thing.

Anyways I wish you well regardless.

Proceed with caution the less you try and prove the more you will ironically prove. Success with people in social settings alone is not in accolades, presentations, or certifications alone, its in self confidence at the core.
I just personally think it'd be fun, I mean I'm open to those people and if some people willing to reconcile I'll be down.

One of my biggest inspirations is Kobe Bryant, because I feel we have both the same personality deep down.

He created a thing called zero, and it really spoke to me because it's really everything I felt:

Zero | The Players' Tribune

He also wrote something about serenity and I understand that feeling.
Lakers' Kobe Bryant on growing old, Dwight Howard and his inner Zen - NBA - SI.com

And I completely understand that feeling of peace. It's the feeling that you want to be accomplished, it's not about others as much, but yourself. To prove YOU CAN do it, and there's nothing stopping you. Being able to experience that, and putting in hours and hours of work and finally seeing the results oh man it's euphoric. Here's what Kobe wrote in terms of passing Michael Jordan, and I feel we do have the same outlook in the end:

I became obsessed with proving to my family — and more importantly to myself — that I CAN DO THIS.
It became an obsession. I learned everything about the game, the history, the players, the fundamentals. I wasn’t just determined to never have a summer of zero again, I was driven to inflict the same sense of failure on my competition as they unknowingly inflicted on me. My killer instinct to score was born.
Twenty-four years later, I pass my muse.
What a journey this has been. Setting this mark is a huge honor. I’m aware of Father Time’s curfew. He has sent me to my room to brush my teeth before he tucks me in, but I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t walk to the bathroom slowly. I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t act as if someone misplaced the toothpaste. I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t brush every tooth twice, brush my tongue three times, floss until my gums bleed and rinse with mouthwash until the inside of my mouth burns and then goes numb



 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
But that's always been me, and I know it does feel like a bit of zen proving to myself that I can do it. And it wouldn't be me if I didn't try to work has hard as I can. It wouldn't be if I didn't try to improve myself someway somehow. It wouldn't be me if I took breaks.

I'm just someone who had that instinct in me, and just that drive to get that goal since I was a young child, and putting as much pressure as I can on my body until I do it, it's really fulfilling. But I agree with you I won't be able to change other's opinions. It's proving to myself that I can do it, that I am astronaut material, and if I can work hard, I can get my dreams, and that's an amazing feeling
 
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