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Calling all Sixes.

I want to hear some thoughts from you. Recently, a friend of mine the other day asked me where I get my strength and how I am able to keep my head when dealing with these issues.

I told them that I just have to. I'm always aware of danger and that every day is a battle. The only way I handle my anxiety is by being prepared. The obstacles and fears of life WON'T win, because I'm already on top of it. It's a choice, as well, that though I am driven by my anxiety, the only way for me to utilize it is through being strong. To me, it is a must and it's second-nature if I am to win the battle of life going on around me. Because for me, life is a war, if you will.

So honestly, if someone compliments me by saying I am strong, capable, reliable, trustworthy, etc. it doesn't do that much for me. It's part of my nature. It's like complimenting me on taking a dump. :wink:

So, Sixes, I want to hear your sentiments on this. Do you relate? What does strength, anxiety, and danger mean to you?
 

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You know what I want to be? "Powerful." I had never thought about this until recently, but I have a friend who sometimes admirably calls other people powerful, and I then started to realize that many times in my life, I've given away my own power by not believing in it, by being self-deprecating or by sabotaging myself and giving into my fears. It's one thing to be strong--to keep on keeping on when I don't feel capable of it, to support other people when I need support, to believe in the future and to make a good future happen. But power...that's different. For me, I think of power as a lack of self-consciousness, being able to express myself, to acknowledge my real emotions--because often I temper them so they aren't powerful anymore. So if someone calls me strong, I might think they mean resilient, which feels to me like just keeping things together when I am sad inside. That's important, but I take for granted I can do that, even though it is very painful at times. But if someone calls me powerful, I might think they mean that I am really living, really feeling, and being able to move other people. That would mean more to me, and be more unexpected.
 

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So, Sixes, I want to hear your sentiments on this. Do you relate? What does strength, anxiety, and danger mean to you?
I'm glad you can view it this way. I personally don't relate to this, though. It's because I've been 'blessed' with a natural tendency to doubt myself. On the flip-side, though, I don't really have trust issues. I have very little anxiety when it comes to others. I can have problems internalizing achievements. So if someone compliments me on those achievements, I can be genuinely surprised from time to time. Even if I am proud of something, it's never self-evident, to me, that people compliment me on something.

Strength: An imaginary concept that becomes more real the more people believe in it. There are multiple ways for people to "measure" your power. The more people believe in your strength, the more ways you have to exert it. Some don't even need others to believe in their strength, they already naturally have that faith. Others don't have this faith. You display your image and often enough others reinforce it for you. I believe that how much strength you have depends on how you and those around you measure strength.
(Physical strength is not included in the package)

Anxiety:After a while I've come to believe that anxiety in itself is not really a good or a bad thing, it can be quite useful. The harm ,though, lies in what decisions you make and how you choose to use it. I still need to learn when to give into it and when to "put it aside."

Danger: This is a tricky thing for me. Risks are danger, but risks are also potential rewards. I have a natural tendency to err on the side of danger. What I always try to do is see how much control I have over the situation and see how reasonable it is to control the given situation. We all need to take a good calculated or even uncalculated risk every once in a while, otherwise life would be boring, so I try to do just that. In the end, taking no risks generally is more detrimental than taking a couple risks that might hurt you.
 

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I don't relate but I found your thoughts interesting :) Usually when friends comment on my strength, I have to do a double take because I don't generally view myself as strong. Perhaps it has to do with focus. I always feel like I'm focused on fixing the problems that exist within myself so those would be weak spots. I can be strong for others but the only reason I am able to do that, I've realized, is because at one point, I had to do the same for myself.


Perhaps I do not realize the extent to which I am strong for myself. When people struggle in certain areas, I'm aware of how much I can offer them and how I am not weak in those same areas. I can be strong for others, I just don't generally think about it or see how I am strong for myself. However, I do aspire to be a bastion of strength for others. I often have dreams where I am the super hero, or I protect someone. I think to myself, one cannot be truly strong if they are never weak or struggle so, that is STILL strength. If life were easy, there would be no reason to be strong so perhaps it is true.


We are all strong in different ways. Some people bow out of life though either through suicide or they are the walking dead (choose not to face their demons). So I actually think it is no small accomplishment for you to face your own challenges head on. That is a bigger accomplishment than we all realize, perhaps. Maybe it depends on your own life experiences too but that's what I'd like to think.


To me, I'm always surprised when I am tormented by my own demons, how there really is this rock hidden inside of me deep down. The answers are all there. I just have to go through the fire to get to them sometimes.


For more of my thoughts on Strength and Weakness, check out my thread - http://personalitycafe.com/type-6-forum-loyalist/872282-strong-weak.html

For more of my thoughts on Danger - http://personalitycafe.com/type-6-forum-loyalist/872298-made-threatening-situations.html
 
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@Vivid Melody

Was checking a PM, but I'll respond to you on this matter.

I'm almost wondering if I'm a bit more counterphobic than what I thought. Because, I DO feel weak, but I push it back so much that it's like I know I'm strong. I resist weakness, fear, and such immensely.

I had some bad strep throat once, even, but I ignored it because I had work at the barn, in the winter, to do that day. I resent tremendously showing weakness, even though it is what I feel inside but I seem to mentally beat it with a stick back down into its hole. So, when complimented on being strong, it doesn't really faze me because it's a constant tunnel-vision in my head to be strong.
 
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