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Discussion Starter #1
Do you ever have problems with always fearing things that are very unlikely to happen? You know they'll never happen, or at least most likely won't, but your mind entertains those fears anyways and worries over them endlessly... How do you help calm them and get rid of them? They really eat away at my energy, and I don't have very much of that to begin with :dry:
 

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MOTM January 2013
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Yeah, I get this a lot. Maybe if you could express some of your fears in some more detail, it might be better. Something I will say is that you are now living in the present, the past has gone and the future has not happened which means 'now' is the only thing you can actually control. Also, i've often found that things rarely turn out as bad as you think they will.
 

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Well, much of what we are afraid of isn't going to happen. Plus, most of the time the fear is getting in the way not the perceived issue. So, just realize you are psyching yourself out. It's like how kids think they need light to be safe at night. Sure, it helps you see but it doesn't do much more than that. There is too much fun stuff to miss out on by being afraid. So, just be spontaneous. Start trying things you wouldn't have and the world will really open up to you. Being busy helps! I know w7s sometimes keep themselves busy as a distraction. So, do just that.

About 2 years ago I was pretty fearful and felt stuck. I had this dream I was up on top of a mountain looking at the most beautiful valley. With a river, rocks, tree, mountains. I mean it was indescribable. While researching hike last night I found a small mountain with a similar view. Unfortunately, I have to wait a couple months for the snow to melt. But, come June there will be wild flowers, boulders, and a view that will make me forget my life for awhile. That's how I get passed my fears. Hobbies and a passion for living. It is energizing too! It has to change little by little every day and you have to keep your eye on the prize, but you can get anywhere you want if you keep walking forward. And those fear will fall by the wayside.
 

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Like what? The oceans floating to the sky then plummeting and drowning all of us? Radiation bursts from outer space frying life on the planet? Suddenly hearing noise in stead of music and developing a psychological inability to hear music in a pleasureful way?

My worst one would be going blind deaf, mute and losing my extremities at the same time.....oh God if that happens just kill me.
 

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Like what? The oceans floating to the sky then plummeting and drowning all of us? Radiation bursts from outer space frying life on the planet? Suddenly hearing noise in stead of music and developing a psychological inability to hear music in a pleasureful way?

My worst one would be going blind deaf, mute and losing my extremities at the same time.....oh God if that happens just kill me.
Now you've got me freaking out. Why'd you have to mention that? O___O Going deaf would be pretty much the absolute worst thing that could ever happen to me. I'd rather lose my legs and arms and eyes than go deaf. >.< That is a fear that I have, and I suppose it's pretty stupid, but it's there. I'm paranoid about loud noises. XD

I have many irrational fears. Heights. Elevators. Metros. That a serial killer is going to kill my family while I'm in the shower and I'm going to have to fight the killer naked (yeah, that thought actually occurred to me). Needles.
 

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MOTM January 2013
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I've sometimes wandered if I would rather be blind or be deaf. I love and fashion and my music just as much. I wouldn't want to choose. I think id sooner lose one of my hands than my sight or hearing. I have a massive fear about being followed when walking down the streets after sunlight and when I was a kid, I had this big fear of this dark, id be too terrified to go to the toilet at night once I was in bed so id literally hold on for ages and then force myself to run downstairs really quickly to the bathroom. I often thought an intruder was in the house and could jump up behind me with a knife. And I still get that feeling now, like if im walking down the road and hear footsteps behind me, ill subtly cross over to the other side.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
One fear is that my sister would die and my mom would commit suicide because of it. Another is that I'd never get accepted into a college. Some are more things like the elevator cables will snap or something and send me down to my death, a serial killer would come shoot me, just my mind seems the think of *anything* that could ever have even the slightest chance of happening no matter how irrational they are and plague me with it.

And the thing is, I know that they're just fears and they're not going to happen, and I know that I'm just psyching myself out, but I can't stop the fears. I've been really happy these past few months, or at least compared to most of my life, and this comes along every once in a while and is just a complete buzz-kill.
 

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And the thing is, I know that they're just fears and they're not going to happen, and I know that I'm just psyching myself out, but I can't stop the fears. I've been really happy these past few months, or at least compared to most of my life, and this comes along every once in a while and is just a complete buzz-kill.
I've observed that I seem to think more worst-case scenario, when I'm really happy. In a way that kind of makes sense, because when you're the happiest is when you're most frightened to be deprived of what makes you happy.

I don't experience that much of the "serial killer fear" etcetc. Though I do remember being extremely scared of those thoughts some time ago, but I make sure to plan events to avoid walking alone after nightfall :)

OH NOOOOOO airplanes! I absolutely hate flying, but I live in Scandinavia, while the rest of my family lives in Asia.. :confused: Turbulence feels like near death, hahaha. Or boats on a boundless ocean... O.O
 

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OMG, Wonder, I totally just stumbled on a post you made accidentally. SO COOL!

*calms down*

Anyhoo, yes, all the time. When it's to do with less serious things, I try to guide myself out of that state of mind with humor (works best around people, or at least imagining people who would find it amusing). The more serious, dark thoughts are harder to escape, though. I know they most likely will not happen and I shouldn't be obsessing over them, but my mind has a way of sabotaging itself. Dammit mind!

*warning, excuse grammar, about to get stream of consciousness all up in yo bizzzness*

Sometimes I imagine my SO randomly leaving me for some reason or another, my brother dying, my mom dying, the roof caving in on me, several ways of dying and the varying degrees of pain that would accompany it, being kicked out of where I live, getting run over, falling off random things, that none of this is real, being the only actual person in the world with consciousness and awareness, getting kidnapped, if by some divine force of nature the apocalypse strikes, oh, and dying again unexpectedly and worrying about my room being a mess and the things people would find and my laptop and just paranoia in general of private things being made not so private. Actually, that last thought seems to be a recurring one and sometimes on the bus ride home while I'm thinking about that, I remind myself I should clean up my room a bit and do a better job of organizing my things and prepare some special notes in case that does happen. Not that I ever follow that through, but even now I'm seriously reminding myself to do that just in case. But, what kind of life is that? o_O

Yeah. There's a little example there, lol. So glad to have a sense of humor about things, or else I be seriously mentally fucked.

The more seemingly scary thoughts like ways to possibly die or natural catastrophes to spontaneously occur are, though not lighter, are the easier ones to deal with. Ok, maybe scratch dying. But, say, I fear I might suddenly get ambushed by someone, a serial killer for instance, rapist, whatever have you. I have my longboard on me most of the time i feel I could knock someone out with that or disorient them momentarily at least to get a head start on running.

With the more "in the moment, wtf this might happen right now" thoughts, I always try to visualize how these possibilities would play out and what precautions to take, how to respond immediately to save my butt, etc. I essentially just get into survival mode. I actually have a lot of dreams like that where I basically have to run for dear life from people trying to kill me or engage in some kinda physical exchange somehow to protect myself.

I think 6's are good troubleshooters because we've thought of these scenarios and went through the necessary actions to take to get back to safety.

Basically: WHAT TO DO IF A, B, or C HAPPENS.

But, yeah, with the more just irrational, serious thoughts, it's harder to tap into that mindset and I can just lose myself in dizzying spells of fear. Eventually, some way or another, I get reassured that it's just my minding try to screw me over.

Yeah. I need to chill.

Oh, I'm obsessed with this song currently, and found an excuse to post it so... here's something we anxious folk need every now and again:


(Hi, Wonder, listen to the song. I thought you'd like it. It's more "easy and breezy", but it makes me smile. So, hope you do too ^.^)

Integration 9, here we come! Thought I'd lighten this place up a bit ^-^
 

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Discussion Starter #10
@MissyMaroon Haha ^^ thanks for the advice. I do notice that I dwell on something for a few days and then after ALL the possibilities! (Couldn't help it) are exhausted then I tend to calm down, but I realized I need to catch it before it builds up and confront it to try and avoid just how drastic the shifts are and calm it down some. Your post helped me realize that ^^. After dealing with it I completely forget all about it for a while and then suddenly I go "Whoa! I didn't realize..." and so we continue XD.

When I was little, I used to constantly be given one scenario by my mom and it had a definite answer, but then I would always ask her "What if 'X' happened?" and then after another fifteen minutes of that she would get frustrated XD I don't blame her.

For me, I don't use humor in such the same way, I usually try and first tell myself that it's not going to happen or really not likely to happen and then sort of laugh at myself for being so "silly". Then after some time to myself I go to my close friends to help cheer me up ^^.

(I'll watch the video when I get home, I'm on my school's computers and their internet blocks youtube >.>)
 
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MOTM January 2013
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Anyhoo, yes, all the time. When it's to do with less serious things, I try to guide myself out of that state of mind with humor (works best around people, or at least imagining people who would find it amusing). The more serious, dark thoughts are harder to escape, though. I know they most likely will not happen and I shouldn't be obsessing over them, but my mind has a way of sabotaging itself. Dammit mind!

Sometimes I imagine my SO randomly leaving me for some reason or another, my brother dying, my mom dying, the roof caving in on me, several ways of dying and the varying degrees of pain that would accompany it, being kicked out of where I live, getting run over, falling off random things, that none of this is real, being the only actual person in the world with consciousness and awareness, getting kidnapped, if by some divine force of nature the apocalypse strikes, oh, and dying again unexpectedly and worrying about my room being a mess and the things people would find and my laptop and just paranoia in general of private things being made not so private. Actually, that last thought seems to be a recurring one and sometimes on the bus ride home while I'm thinking about that, I remind myself I should clean up my room a bit and do a better job of organizing my things and prepare some special notes in case that does happen. Not that I ever follow that through, but even now I'm seriously reminding myself to do that just in case. But, what kind of life is that? o_O

Yeah. There's a little example there, lol. So glad to have a sense of humor about things, or else I be seriously mentally fucked.

The more seemingly scary thoughts like ways to possibly die or natural catastrophes to spontaneously occur are, though not lighter, are the easier ones to deal with. Ok, maybe scratch dying. But, say, I fear I might suddenly get ambushed by someone, a serial killer for instance, rapist, whatever have you. I have my longboard on me most of the time i feel I could knock someone out with that or disorient them momentarily at least to get a head start on running.

With the more "in the moment, wtf this might happen right now" thoughts, I always try to visualize how these possibilities would play out and what precautions to take, how to respond immediately to save my butt, etc. I essentially just get into survival mode. I actually have a lot of dreams like that where I basically have to run for dear life from people trying to kill me or engage in some kinda physical exchange somehow to protect myself.

I think 6's are good troubleshooters because we've thought of these scenarios and went through the necessary actions to take to get back to safety.

Basically: WHAT TO DO IF A, B, or C HAPPENS.

But, yeah, with the more just irrational, serious thoughts, it's harder to tap into that mindset and I can just lose myself in dizzying spells of fear. Eventually, some way or another, I get reassured that it's just my minding try to screw me over.

Integration 9, here we come! Thought I'd lighten this place up a bit ^-^
I can relate. Its good that you have found something that works for you e.g humour, I find its the best thing for myself too. Like the saying, If you can't cry, laugh. The whole endless mind chitter chatter is something that gets annoying though, just constantly thinking of endless what if's. Its so exhausting. I try to make time to relax in nice surroundings etc, bath & candles=chillax!
 

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I've had years to learn how to control and stave back panic attacks (legit non-6y ones), so that's how I treat these sorts of fears. I have them, for sure. Example being that I've recently developed this irrational "fear" of the car floor suddenly deciding to fail while driving. But I'm also rational enough to go, "You're being stupid, that won't happen" and just push it out of my mind. I push a lot of things out of my mind.

With other things, I might subtly prepare for contingencies, but I'm still going to tell myself I'm over-worrying. My dad hired random guys off the street to cut down our trees, so I made sure that I was "ready to run" just in case, like being a little over-aware and always having my cell phone on me... Because who the hell trusts 3 random men with chainsaws? But ultimately nothing happened and I didn't change any of my routines or behavior. (Hell, we didn't even get our trees cut down, they just abandoned us--without our money.)

I guess, basically, I do the bare minimum required to make me feel like I'm able to handle something, then do it anyway. My mom (6w7) started joking with me when I was older, "Do what you have to do, you can curl up in a closet to cry afterwards." It's not as bad as it sounds, it just reinforces the 6ish flourish in crisis but acknowledges the "crash" afterwards where we feel horrible. When I start to feel anxious doing something--fun or work--I tend to think something like that.
 
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